A/N - Argh, I spent a lot of time on this one, agonising over whether to keep some parts in, but then I started thinking that I needed to keep this as it is, including all the dark sections. Although I don't think its really mentioned a great deal - it is hinted at when you fight Danarius - the horrible side to Fenris's slavery, I do feel that if he was to be with someone, that it would have had to come up in some form, esp. if he remembered his past, so I kept it in this chapter.

So with that please be warned that there are mentions of rape/non-con, but only mentioned - no details as such, I think that its a horrific enough situation without it.

Also I did want to use Fenris's markings earlier on, but I think that by now he's used to keeping them in check, when his Natalia was hurt previously I like to think that he channelled them into anger and took it out on the assassins, but this time theres no one to be angry at...

Anyways I hope this is okay and not to worry, there is light at the end of the tunnel - thank you for reading & favouriting xo

The Hawke household sat silent and still when the small group entered the hallway, their footsteps seeming harsh and abrupt in the soft silence.

"He-" Natallia coughed, her throat still rough, she tried again "Hello, anyone home,? Fenris, Orana?" Pausing for any response and not hearing anything back they then all moved wearily further into the estate.

Carver was behind her so she missed the way his shoulders dipped in relief, however there wasn't anyway she could miss his huffed breath so she turned towards him. At her raised eyebrow, he just shrugged and mumbled in defence "What? I just don't want Fenris going all glowy on me, so perhaps its better if he wasn't here."

In the quiet walk home, the shock had worn off for the most part, but in its place lay an aching tiredness and blossoming guilt that pressed against her chest, and the small amount of alcohol she'd been given bubbled in her stomach as indigestion.

Wanting nothing more than to scrub the stench and filth of that man off her she snorts at her brothers comment whilst softly stroking her belly "I'm sure he wouldn't, not now anyway."

Even she found it that little bit hard to believe that Fenris wouldn't over-react at this, but it was up to her to handle the situation and the reaction of her man, after all, no-one knew him like she did.

However, Natalia stood there for a moment, wandering over to where her staff rest, putting out her hand she gently traces the knots in the polished and well-worn wood, feeling the slight spark of magic in her finger tips, the residual hum of it comforting.

Not knowing how to put those thoughts into action, she knew that they could talk about it as normal adults without anyone getting too angry, but the how was at this moment, lost to her.

Stifling a yawn, she suddenly sucks in a sharp breath as a wave of sickness washes over her causing her to wobble where she stands.

Alexia, who'd been watching the banter between the two of them, clasps her arm to steady her and moves to place her other arm around her shoulders and squeezes gently. "Come on girl, lets get you up to bed, you need to rest - then you might be well enough to deal with Fenris - " She breaks off at the other woman's half hearted scowl.

"Not you as well? Will anyone give him the benefit of doubt this time?" Quickly pasting on a soft smile to take the sting out of the comment, she feels Carver place his hand on her arm too.

Alexia pats her arm "Yes...well - we all know that he will not react well to your attack, and I'm only saying what we all know what might happen."

Sighing she wipes her free hand across her eyes. "Look - I just hope he doesn't stress you out more than you have been these past couple of hours...I know Car and I, well we both don't know him as well as you do, but I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character to know that you two work well together, you both just - just...belong. Besides I only have to look at the man to see you - and those children - are his entire world, but I can also see that he had a hard life up until he found you. But you're not up to facing him just yet."

Carver seconds her opinion "You being your hard headed self, you believe you can sort this out right away, but you're not feeling well and you need to rest before speaking to Fenris, at least he needs to see you're okay before we-" motioning between Alexia and himself. "-tell him. Hopefully in a calm and collected manner, and not getting heads removed. I'm rather partial to mine."

Swallowing the spark of emotion rising in her throat, Natalia finds words have been lost to her in that moment and instead pats both their hands in a hopefully comforting manner, and breathes in a deep, shuddering breath, the nausea receding slowly. "Yeah, I honestly feel like mabari fodder right now, so I guess you're both right, I do need rest but I really need a wash before I do anything."

"Well that's something I can at least help with!"

They all head upstairs, Carver leaving them to it, he walks into his and Alexia's room and stands there or a short while, contemplating leaving it on until later, but shrugs and starts removing it slowly.

Alexia helps Natalia with her bath, filling it with water, and leaves her to her privacy after assisting her climb in to the tub. She closes the door softly and makes her way to Carver who has moved his heavy armour into a large pile, ready for cleaning and steps up behind him, hugging him close with a muffled "It'll be okay, your sister's made of strong stuff."

He turns her around and meeting her gaze, uses a finger to lift her chin upwards and presses a heated soft kiss to one corner of her mouth and quietly murmurs "I know, Lex, I know."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Closing her eyes, she sinks into the warm water with a groan, letting it wash over her shoulders and hair as she dips her head further back. He hair has grown a little in the last few months which she finds she doesn't seem to mind, not in the least, for one thing, it makes her feel more feminine.

In the past she had kept it short because it suited her, especially with all the travelling, besides Fenris liked to play with it when they were drifting off together in bed, on a sofa...in front of the fireplace - he was fascinated with her reaction, as it always made her sleepy.

Sitting up she grabs the small cake of apple blossom soap and lathers it up and starts washing her hair and then her face, tilting back again, the water rinsing the suds clean, trying not to get water up her nose at the same time. Wiping the excess water out of her now non-gritty eyes, she lathers the soap up again using the nearby cotton wash cloth and starts scrubbing her body.

The changes were now more than subtle, her breasts heavy and full. Before her pregnancy she hadn't been that small in the chest area, but they were at least two sizes bigger now, their weight resting in her hands as she washes, taking care not to drag the cloth over her nipples as they were overly sensitive. Fenris had seen to that the night before, almost bringing her to release with his oh so clever mouth alone.

She sighs at that, her cheeks reddening, she wriggles slightly as heat coils low in her belly, the water sloshing with her movement.

Abandoning the cloth to float around in the water as she moves soapy hands to her rounded stomach, gently caressing the skin, she feels a flutter and smiles. "Hey, sweet babies of mine." Her smile slips. "I can't seem to go out anywhere without getting you into trouble, I'm sorry, so sorry, but I don't do it on purpose, things seem to find a way of finding me, or us now I guess."

Sighing, still rubbing in small circles, there's another flutter. "I need to speak to your father about what happened today, I just hope he doesn't get too angry with me, or anyone else. It's just that he needs to know sometimes things happen which are out of our control, believe me, I want to be able to stop bad things happening to you both, to him - to anyone I love - "

Pushing the back of her hand against her mouth she stifles a sob, but the tears escape anyway and start to fall freely down her face, no matter what she tries to do to stop the upset bubbling to the surface, hot and fierce.

He was so insistent about her being out and about today, she was so scared that all the good and wonderful moments would disappear in a puff of smoke, replaced with fear and anger and guilt. Although the fierce protectiveness he had for her on some levels, made her feel cherished with an absolute certainty that she was safe and loved, letting it go too far would undo all the progress they'd made.

Having a bath was supposed to take her mind off the worry, meant to calm her down, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect, she was over-thinking this.

Running her hands down the rest of her body, she manages to find the cloth somewhere near her thigh, and washes the rest of herself quickly. Finally finished, she sits up and mindful of her stomach, slowly stands and steps out of the bath onto the small grass mat.

Grabbing a fluffy towel she wraps it around her body and marches to the bed, the hot scalding tears still flowing and the feeling of guilt and worry threatening to overwhelm her.

"No - no, I can't -" Natalia stills and forces herself to relax, thinking upon the techniques that Fenris himself relies on in times of panic and fear. There was nothing in his past that he wouldn't share, whether from his journals or fleeting flashes of memories, and it was the same for her.

Some nights they'd talked for long periods, until fingers of light reached into the room, and both had agreed that they were equals in this relationship, nothing was kept secret, no matter how shameful or awkward, or funny even - they could move past it, together.

So he'd shared harrowing details of his past, any glimpse he could remember. When he was still a slave to Danarius, he had been forced to take part in or at least witness awful and demeaning things, to which at first he could not talk about.

Eventually he had opened up to his Hawke, one memory that he'd struggled with was a few months before he'd escaped.

Once, at one of the many lavish parties his master had held, he had forgotten his role, and had smiled at a human female slave, because he had seen kindness in her eyes. His master had seen the look between the two of them, and later after everything had been cleaned up, had been summoned to his rooms.

When he'd arrived, shackled and escorted by two armed guards, even before stepping into the room, the thick, cloying energy of dark magic permeated the hallway and he'd known at once what he was in for.

His master had taken the girl and bled her to the point of death, her muffled cries as she lay bound on the floor before him piercing his heart, her clothes ripped and bloody. Danarius having already used her body for his own grisly pleasure, demanded that Fenris himself lie with her, but the shock slamming low in his gut meant that he was too slow in moving so the mage had killed the girl without a second thought, and in his anger forced himself on him.

Fenris had waited for what seemed an age to tell her this particular flashback, believing Talia would turn away from him in disgust, but she didn't, just showed him that she was hurting for him and that he was never going to be less of a person because of something he had no control over.

His heart overflowed with the love she'd shown him, even after all the bad that had happened in his life. He'd come to her a broken, splintered soul and she'd filled the lost part of him with herself, her love, and they had both become so entangled in each others lives, that he would never be able to exist without her.

With the time spent away from the magister, he had learnt that he had a strength in him that could and would not be conquered and that was how he dealt with those moments, to meditate and calm himself.

She had questioned that was possibly why he had been able to run and break free of the evil twisted man and he'd agreed that with the Fog Warriors showing him their way of life, indeed it probably had factored in somehow.

Making herself relax, she imagines herself in her favourite place, with no worries or cares, which is always with Fenris, in front of a warm fire, him sitting behind her as he strokes her hair, with every move of his hand she imagines the panic and guilt leaving her body with every expelled breath.

Standing like that for a time, her sobs become quiet in the still room, at last she finds herself calmed. Wiping her fingers over her stinging eyelids, she swiftly dries her body and ruffles the towel over her hair, walks over to the dresser and picks up a comb and pulls it through to tame her hair into something manageable.

Afterwards she folds the towel and places it on the nearby chair and collects and pulls on a soft blue nightdress on her way back to bed.

There's a soft knock on the door and Alexia comes in after her reply of enter, carrying a small tray, a cup of mint tea and a couple of Merrills orange biscuits. "Here, thought you might need this." She smiles and places the tray on the bedside table, not noticing the sapphire blue red rimmed eyes gazing at her until she looks up.

"Oh, sweetheart, you should have said you were upset and I wouldn't have left you alone."

Sitting on the bed beside Natalia she embraces her in a soft hug and mumbles "It will be okay, one thing I've noticed with you Hawkes, you might be all grumbly, but you really don't like things to get out of hand, and you will make that elf of yours see you're okay. Looking after my family when mum was out you're not guaranteed that someone isn't going to get a bumped head or skinned knee." Patting her on the back she squeezes her one last time and shuffles over to grab the small cup, handing it to her sniffling friend.

"Here, drink this and have a nibble, will make you feel loads better."

Accepting the cup and a biscuit, Natalia hiccups and offers her thanks, for the tea and the chat. "Thanks, I guess I'm a little worried about it all, but we'll be fine, using her free hand to softly stroke her belly. "We have to be." Looking up she smiles lopsidedly, sips the tea and takes a bite of the food.

They both turn as they hear the front door open, and the tea nearly slops over the side of the cup. Alexia stands and pats her knee, "Stay strong and Car and I will be downstairs if you need us."

Waving a half-hearted bye she fiddles with the rest of the biscuit, crumbling it into oblivion. Rushing to set the tea back on the table, not caring if it spills she turns just as she hears the soft pad of bare feet enter the room after the muted greetings between him and Alexia.

"Talia, I thought you would still be out, not back home at this hour?" His deep voice resonates around the room and she can't help the shiver it sends down her spine, even though she's filled with trepidation at what she has to tell him.

Her blue eyes are drawn to him as he walks across the room to stand in front of her, she can tell he's wary at her silence and the fact that she's getting ready for bed at such an early hour.

At her sob, he kneels quickly and in a flash, both of his warm calloused hands rest on either side of her face as he makes her look directly at him, his lips thin with worry. "Sorry, I - ah, we, were out in The Hanged Man, having a few drinks...and well, I'm fine, the babies are okay, we're all okay...but the short story - there were two men and they...ah they attacked me - "

For the first time in a long time, out of anger, worry or upset, his markings flare to life, lighting sharp and burning almost white-hot in the bright room, the silver-blue ripples chase down his body and back up, like drops of water in a pond they continue to ripple back and forth until they recede slowly to small incremental flashes. Her mana sparks in reaction, but she quickly dampens it down until its just a soft hum.

He cannot stop himself from making sure she is healthy and whole, as he starts to press his hands against every part of her body, silently he lifts her nightdress from her at her barely there nod, and tenderly moves his hands over her shoulders, arms and hands, he slows as his own shaking hands skim across her abdomen, his touches getting even lighter.

Not a sound is made as he continues, the both of them barely breathing in this heartfelt reaction, his green eyes stormy as he meets her tear filled gaze.

Soon he seems satisfied that all is well, but that doesn't stop the anger - not at her, on her behalf - colouring his next question as he goes back to the faint marks around her neck, his words soft but full of unleashed anger as he gently strokes them as if wishing he could remove the marks from her very skin. "What happened? I need to you to tell me everything."

Not minding in the least that she's naked, too concerned with him to care, she scoots back on the bed with his help, and to her surprise he follows after shedding his armour and underclothes quickly, he peels back the coverlet and moves to lay beside her, as close as he can possibly get without being inside of her.

She tells him of the incident and cannot help but feel him shudder in reaction as she gets to the main part where "Will" tries to kiss her and grabs at her, and threatens her with the knife.

He stiffens when Charades name comes up, but she struggles to have him loosen his hold so she can turn to face him, wanting to see his dear, dear face in all of his, to have that connection with him, so she continues with the rest of the story and sighs in relief as he presses her close to him, his forehead touching hers as he looks deep into here eyes for what seems like an eternity.

"He's dead, so is his friend - Izzie and Charade saw to that, I just felt so damn useless, that I froze, just because I got it in my head that to kill someone when our babies lie within me that it would taint them...he could have..." She breaks off again as tears fill her eyes.

"Hush now love, we will talk more when you have had a chance to rest. I am sure this has taken it out of you." He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks and presses his lips to her eyes and face, with every kiss lets her know how much he loves her.

As much as she wants to let this rest until tomorrow, she kisses him but moves back a little "I know, I'll sleep a little later, but I need to let you know its not your fault."

Sucking in a breath she feels his heart gallop at her words but continues, she has to. "You will forever feel guilty because you suggested I go out - I know you were or are planning something so you needed me out of the house for a bit. Here's the thing, you didn't put that knife in that mans hand, and you didn't make him the way he is. You've said it yourself that trouble seems to follow me. I need to you know I don't blame you, and I don't blame myself - I blame those two men for what they did, they had a choice. Yes it was the wrong one, and they died for it, but it was the choice they made, unfortunately they dragged us into it."

Fenris opens his mouth as if to argue, but at her clear gaze he closes his eyes and mouth.

He breathes deep, in and out, for a few minutes and opens his eyes again. "I - you of course are correct. I have - I have failed you once already, and it seems this time I have failed you again. You and our children are my world, if I cannot protect you from hurt, what use am I in your life?"

"Fenris, you are the father of my children, the other part of me, without you I wouldn't be me." Starting to get cross at his words she kisses him hard, running her fingers through his hair and down his face, needing the contact.

"You - you don't get to run away from this - from us that easily, you are in for the long haul - forever if I have anything to do with it. We're already as close as two people can be without marriage, and yes I love it when you get all manly and stuff, but I'm here to protect you too, from all that you've had to deal with and from anything to come. We are meant to protect each other, and when our babies are born, we can protect them together."

For a long while she's met with silence, and the day catches up with her, drowsiness creeping up on her unawares, until her eyes flicker open when she hears a small catch in his breath and the sight before her fells her in one.

Fenris is looking at her with adoration shining in his moss green eyes, and he cannot help the emotion well up within him, when a warm tear makes its escape from the corner of one eye he closes both as he tries to get his emotions in check, he leans into the soft touch pressing against his cheek and his own mouth wanders to find hers.

"Forgive me for being a fool, I never thought - yes, we are in this together, always. I will need to work off this anger inside me, perhaps Carver will allow me to spar with him..."

He deepens the kiss and the sultry heat between them flares up, hot and sparking, as his lips latch onto a budding nipple she feels him let go with a soft pop and threatens "If you so much as suggest I can't handle this - you - you are sleeping with the dog and no, you can take out your anger on one of the dummies, not my poor brother."

A small pause and deep throaty chuckle, she soon finds his mouth back where it was, and with a loud moan, holds on for dear life.