Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and the characters contained in this story – I own nothing.
**Warning: There is some graphic violence in this chapter and possibly other things you may find disturbing, please do not continue if that is something you don't wish to read or you are underage! If you are unsure, please PM me before you read.
Thank you so much for reading & reviewing! Major Desires was recently added to the C2 Jasper/Bella over 1000 club - thank you for adding me and thank you to each and every one of my reviewers for getting me there!
I struggled with this chapter a bit, which is part of what led to the delay – sorry folks! I'll spare you the rest of my excuses. Just know that I am very grateful to those of you sticking with me through these widely spread out updates. You guys are the best! xo
30 Seconds To Mars – Hurricane...I listened to this song on repeat while writing most of this. If you are looking for some mood music (it's also a bit of a spoiler) the link is on my profile.
This is where I'd like to remind you of the warning way back on chapter 1 about Jasper being slightly darker at times in this story...
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I had lost her...
"Jasper..."
She was gone...
"Jasper!"
My mate...
"JASPER!" Char's loud and panic stricken voice drew my eyes up to hers. "What are you doing just standing here? We have to go after her..."
We? Could I really draw them into this? Lead them back to that place...back to that bitch? After all they had survived, could I be the one to bring them down?
"No," I whispered.
"No? What the hell are you talking about...she's your fucking mate," she growled, shaking me forcefully and clearly not understanding my meaning. Peter gasped in fear at her action.
"I know that," I growled right back. "But there is no we anymore. You aren't coming with me..."
"The hell we aren't..."
"I said NO!" I snarled, causing her to take a stumbling step back and stare up at me in shock. I'd never shown her my anger – she'd seen me rip countless others apart, but she'd never once been in that direct line of fire. She was scared of me at the moment, as she should be...but it didn't stop her – I shouldn't have expected any less from Charlotte, not after having survived what she had.
"You're fucking insane if you think we are going to let you go after Bella by yourself! You are going to need our help with this, why can't you just accept that fact because we don't have time to argue about this! Peter, tell him!" she yelled, gathering her bearings and spinning around to face her own mate.
Peter stared back at her silently with an apologetic expression.
"Peter...this is Jasper..."
"I know, and he already said no, Char," Peter replied, looking guiltily away from her angry glare.
The strike of her palm against his cheek rang out loudly before she collapsed against him. His arms wrapped protectively around her while his forehead dropped to her shoulder and I heard him take a shuddering inhalation of her scent. I knew he was imagining what it would be like to lose her and it only solidified my resolve to do this alone.
"She planned this, Peter," Char gasped in horror against her mate. "I told you she did it for another reason..."
My growl made Peter's head snap up quickly, defensively. "Dammit, woman...you just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?" he groaned at her.
"What the fuck did you just say?" I demanded, glaring at them both. What were they keeping from me?
"Think about it, Jasper," Char answered reluctantly, her tearless sobs were muffled against Peter's chest as I stood there trying to find the meaning to her words.
She planned this... Think about it, Jasper... I told you she did it for another reason...
No...
"Peter? It's not true..." I growled.
"I'm sorry, Major. You know our lives are yours if you want them," he replied sadly. His response told me everything that I needed to know.
"I don't want them," I spat back. "I gave them to you – I'm not going to take them back now. I'm going alone..."
"Jasper, we..."
"I can feel it, Peter - I know," I assured him, cutting him off - there wasn't time to say all that needed to be said. I could feel their regret, their love, their loyalty. He and Char would burn right beside my mate and I, if that is what I wished for them; they would do it without a moment of hesitation and all I had to do was say the word. But I didn't want that for them – I never had, it's why I let them go in the first place that day. I never knew they would end up saving me in return.
"I have to go," I stated. Char and Rose's responding sobs ripped through me as I turned and ran without another word. Their mates could comfort them, I had wasted enough time.
Memories clawed at my mind relentlessly; my footfalls barely registering as my feet flew over the uneven ground. Every drop of venom and blood fueled them to move faster, every hardened muscle willed them forward. Faster...
"Major, I have a gift for you," she purred into my ear, stroking her finger across my abdomen. She pulled back to see my reaction and when she didn't garner the one she wanted, she pouted dramatically. "Come now, my pet, don't you want to know what it is? Aren't you the least bit curious what I have for you?" she asked, cocking her head to the side coyly. Her voice and emotions held a hint of malice to them, however, and I knew that I would need to play out whatever sick and twisted game she was aiming toward. Fucking bitch.
"Of course, Maria," I nodded obediently, while secretly imagining all the ways I could burn her. Piece by fucking piece sounded pretty good...
"Well, that's a little better," she said before she sighed dramatically, gripped by chin, and crushed her lips to mine. She tasted bitter as she caressed my tongue with hers; the tip curling around it like a snake about to consume it's prey. It's what I was to her...prey. Even no longer human, it's all I've ever been to her. Something for her to consume and toy with.
She turned away from me and grabbed something from within the armoire on the far wall. Hiding it in her hand, she made her way back over to me slowly. Her red silk robe billowed as she walked, revealing her fully nude form beneath, the tie left purposefully undone at her waist. I knew that I would be required to fuck her once more before she let me leave and return to my own room; it was a good thing I could no longer rid my stomach of it's contents. My cock wanted to shrivel up and die, and my balls begged to be severed at the mere thought.
"Show me you want your gift, my pet," she demanded, dangling a small blue velvet bag from a twisted golden rope in front of me.
I leaned forward and kissed her neck, earning me a moan of approval before bringing my hands up and pulling her flush against me, causing her breasts and nipples to press against my naked chest. I continued to kiss and lick her neck and shoulder, then nipped lightly at her earlobe.
"Good. Enough," she ordered, stepping out of my embrace. "Here is your reward, I do hope you appreciate it's meaning."
I eyed her warily. Her emotions were anticipatory and angry...mixed with a strong feeling of betrayal.
I looked down to the bag and untied it hastily, my mind already calculating it's possible contents. I peered inside and found...teeth – vampire teeth, a woman's. I needn't ask whose they fucking were...I already knew they were Maggie's.
"Do you like them? I pulled them myself...straight from the whore's mouth you had wrapped around you last evening!" she growled, her eyes flashing dangerously.
Four of her personal guards stepped into the room at that moment and she flicked her hand at them to stand ready, should I decide to attack her. "Did you think I wouldn't find out, Jasper? Do you really think so little of me?" she hissed, "Answer me!"
I tossed the bag aside and stared back into her angry blood-filled eyes with my own. "Go to hell."
My feet continued on at a pace faster than even my newborn year as I chased after my mate. My body ached from exertion for the first time since I awoke from my transformation. My throat burned hotter from thirst as I used up every drop of blood within me. Memories continued to haunt my mind, replaying in crystal clarity...showing me just how blind I had been. I had been such a fool, believing her lies of love. Before I had my gift fully under control, I didn't understand what I had been feeling and from whom. Maria played me perfectly, and by the time I realized what she had done, by the time I realized the fucking truth, it was too late – I was entangled in her web; wrapped up and awaiting my fate...waiting for her to consume me. Why hadn't I caught that she had used my given name when she accused me? She never called me Jasper... it meant my betrayal was personal to her. Jesus, I had been so fucking blind... she actually thought what she felt for me was love...
She chuckled as I glared back at her. "I think you need a reminder of who you belong to – come here," she sneered, pointing to the bed. I remained still and eyed her as she arched her eyebrow, daring me to disobey.
I hesitantly made my way over to the bed and once standing beside it, she pushed at my chest and indicated for me to lay down on my back. Once situated how she wanted me, she dropped her robe from her body without an ounce of shame and climbed on top of me, straddling my naked thighs. She began stroking my cock fluidly and when he didn't respond to her persistent ministrations, she grew angrier by the second.
"Did you know that Maggie claimed you forced her into your little 'arrangement'?" she taunted, her hand beginning to squeeze my cock tighter in her fist with every upward stroke. My cock was beginning to panic as her grip continued to gradually increase stroke after stroke.
"I didn't," I growled, my arm snapping down to pull her hand off of me – or remove it completely. Before I could, however, her guards stepped forward. I thought about fighting – considered attempting to rip her head from her naked body, but I knew she was anticipating my retaliation and had many more ready to step in should I try – I could sense them lingering outside. No, I wouldn't be able to get my revenge today – but someday, someday I would rip her limb from fucking limb and make her my prey. I would teach her what it truly meant to be consumed – but it would be by the fires of hell she so deserved.
"She begged for her life. It was pathetic. I can't imagine how you could be with someone so spineless," she spat in disgust. "Do I not give you what you need, my pet? Are you not satisfied with my body? With giving me pleasure?"
I didn't answer her and in response she sank her wretched pussy down onto my still unaroused cock. Unfortunately, a vampire's cock is always hard enough to penetrate, even when not aroused; she just wouldn't get the full effect this way – not that she seemed to fucking care. My cock was doing everything in his power to block out his current surroundings and find his inner happy place. Someday, I'd have to reward him for surviving this nightmare – if we survived this nightmare, I reminded myself. He was definitely going to hold me to that promise – he cringed as she began riding me and she mistook it for a twitch of arousal and moaned in response. Her hips and ass rose and fell on top of me in a violent, quick rhythm as she used my body for her own pleasure.
"Give me the bag," she ordered one of the guards with her palm held out, not ceasing or slowing her motions in the slightest. They were all throwing off heavy doses of lust, arousal, and jealousy as they watched Maria ride me unashamedly – they didn't understand why I wasn't enjoying myself and wished it was them instead. I fucking wished it was one of them instead as well.
Bag in hand she stopped her motions finally and stared intently into my eyes as she pulled one of Maggie's teeth from the velvet bag. She tossed the bag aside and held the incisor up to my face and smirked wickedly.
With exaggeratedly slow motions she brought it up to her mouth and proceeded to suckle on the tooth, coating it generously with her venom...and then, I knew what was to come.
I braced myself for it and watched as she lowered her arm and hand down to my chest over my rib cage and began to carve deeply into my hard flesh, using the tooth as her scalpel. The pain of the cut was not something I was unused to, having been bitten so many times in the past – but the burn of her venom that followed after, still hurt like a fucking bitch and I gritted my teeth as she literally drew her punishment into me – her ownership.
After going over the same route with the tooth several times, she set it down and admired her art work. As she gazed upon it she began moving her hips once again, and as she lowered her mouth tenderly over the new adornment she had given me, her pussy clenched all around me causing her to loudly cry out her climax into my newly scarred skin.
Once she was finished, she dismounted me and redressed in her robe before turning to face me.
"Now you are marked by both your whores, Major. I can't wait until the day you realize the significance of what I've just done," she said with a satisfied smirk. Strong feelings of betrayal still oozed from her intensely, despite what she was trying to portray. I didn't have long to contemplate what it meant before she spoke...
"I want you to destroy the one called Charlotte tomorrow; she has outlived her usefulness," she ordered casually. Although I noticed she was watching me closely out of the corner of her eye for my reaction.
I was confused by her order. It didn't make sense to me since Charlotte was still a valuable asset to the army. She held her own in every fight and battle, even though her newborn year had lapsed several months prior. Peter helped her at times, I knew...but she still was able to handle herself well enough without his assistance that destroying her didn't seem necessary. I admired them both, truth be told, their will to survive was most impressive. It rivaled my own.
"She's still a good fighter..." I began to plead her case – something I'd not done before for anyone.
"I said I want her destroyed! Are we going to have a problem with this, Major?" she growled, her anger spiking swiftly.
"No, Maria...I'll handle it," I acquiesced.
"Good," she stated, her smile more evil in that moment than I'd ever seen before; triumphant...as if she'd won something vastly more significant. And yet underneath it all, was that same feeling of betrayal...now mixed with vindication...
She dismissed me and I'd not dwelled on their meaning, having just been fucking glad to be done and away from her finally. But the truth of that night was staring at me now and I wanted to pretend to not see it, I wanted to deny it's very existence...because if that was the truth...
...then it meant that she had planned this.
She knew Peter would beg me to let Charlotte go when he found out she was next to be destroyed – I imagine she 'let it slip' to ensure that he overheard. She knew that I would let them both go. She knew that they would come back for me and that I would try to leave with them – she let me go. I had always fucking wondered how it had been so easy to slip away that day; now I knew why. The first decade after I escaped, I had fully expected her to track me down - but it never happened...no, it never happened...because she knew that someday I'd find my true mate. And she fucking knew that the mark she had left on my body would be too much for my mate to simply ignore – she planned the whole fucking thing... to lure my mate to her. She felt betrayed by my arrangement with Maggie, my friendship and loyalty to Peter and Char. The fucking bitch actually thought she really loved me and wanted to make me pay for my 'betrayal'...with the life of my mate, and most likely the lives of my family as well.
The anger at my discovery welled deep inside me, pushing my feet faster still.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!" My roar of anger and anguish erupted from me forcefully, unable to be contained.
The sky darkened rather symbolically as the clouds opened up and rain began to fall all around me, whipping against my face as I ran. The raindrops slid down my face as if they were my own tears, my soul weeping for it's missing piece. I could feel that empty space inside me that only Bella was supposed to fill. My chest began to ache as a rhythmic echoing suddenly filled my ears. Like a phantom heartbeat meant only for her to hear.
As I made adjustments in my course according to her tracks and scent, I could hear the rhythmic echo quicken or slow in response.
It wasn't my phantom heartbeat...it was hers, calling to me. Her shield could block that rope but she couldn't block out the piece of my soul she carried with her.
With that knowledge, I let myself be taken over solely by the phantom heartbeat calling out to me, leading my way. I knew that I'd be able to follow her all the way to Texas this way – but it would be too late if I let her get that far. I needed to find a way to make her double back, something to draw her attention enough to stop her.
There was only one thing that I knew for certain would momentarily stop Bella - still a newborn - in her tracks...
Can you live with that? My conscience asked in shock and disbelief.
For my mate...I would do anything...
My feet moved in the direction of a remote cabin that Carlisle had warned me to stay away from long ago. It was so far out that it wasn't a big concern, but they were always so worried I'd slip up, that it's location had been drilled into me just in case.
After ten minutes, the cabin quickly came into view. It was a small, run-down log cabin with just one floor and crooked, dark green shutters. An older model pickup truck sat outside. The barely visible tire tracks in the now wet and muddy ground suggested that they didn't leave this place very often. Part of me wondered why they wanted to be so secluded out here; just who were these people? I didn't have time to worry about that, though. It didn't matter who they were, they had what I needed. For my mate...
I searched out with my gift and found two of them inside. Their emotions were deeply calm and their heartbeats were slow and steady...sleeping. It was just as well they didn't see or hear me coming.
Are you really going to do this? My conscience screamed at me in sheer panic.
"Yes...anything," I answered out loud.
I, and I alone, would deal with the consequences of this decision later. I sent them a small dose of lethargy to deepen their sleep and pushed on the wooden front door with my palm, breaking the lock and deadbolt easily. Why they would need locks out here in the wilderness was beyond me, but I couldn't pause to contemplate it further.
Once inside, I made my way quickly through the cabin and into the lone bedroom. Not hesitating, I swiftly made my way over to the bed and looked down at the male and female sleeping soundly. Placing my hands on either side of the woman's delicate neck, I twisted and broke it with a muted crack. Reaching over her, I hit the man on the head with just enough force to keep him unconscious, but not harm or injure him in any way. I needed him alive, for now.
The woman's heart came to an abrupt halt and I supported her broken neck with both hands, drawing it up to my lips. Sinking my teeth deeply into her flesh, I drank using strong, deep pulls to siphon every last drop of her warm blood. When I had finished, I gently laid her back down on the bed and covered her with the sheet. I picked up the man and brought him outside, setting him down beside their truck.
There was a partially filled gas can in the truck bed and I snatched it up and went back inside to douse the bedroom and then the small front porch as best I could. I pulled my lighter from my pocket and set the cabin ablaze.
I didn't have time to watch it burn like I should have. I would just have to take the risk and hope that it burned completely and that the rain didn't extinguish it before it could. No matter, I'd deal with the fucking consequences later.
Lifting the man over my shoulder, I ran back in the direction that the phantom heartbeat led me. My body felt warm and the burning in my throat had been smothered under the thick, delicious liquid that now coursed through my tissues. The human blood boosted my strength and pushed my feet even faster than before. The effects would last long enough to close some distance, but not long enough to catch up to her completely.
Once I knew I was near enough, I pulled one of the man's arms down off my shoulder and sliced a shallow vertical cut through the skin of his forearm with my fingernail. His blood immediately pebbled like crimson dewdrops and gravity began pulling them down; dripping the blood to the earth below with pin drop patters.
Using the harsh winds that had picked up to my advantage, I let them carry our scents to her as I continued in her direction but slightly off course.
I knew the moment she smelled the blood.
I knew the moment she stopped running.
And I knew the moment she turned around.
Her footfalls were purposeful and strong – and she didn't attempt to hide them as she approached swiftly.
She knew I knew. Could she feel me as well?
Bella stalked towards me gracefully, her deep warning growl not sounding anything like a shy kitten but like a feral predator on the hunt. She had completely lost herself to her vampire instincts. She was wild, fierce and calculating in every one of her movements...and she was absolutely beautiful. And if I thought for even a second that she could win this fight, I'd be proud and honored to run right along beside her into battle – but that wasn't the case. Her eyes darted down to the blood and then snapped back up to my own. Her face clouded momentarily as she studied my newly blood-filled eyes – a tiny glimpse of the girl I had found in the alley behind that bookstore flickered across her features briefly.
For her...anything...
"Do you want him?" I taunted.
Her responding growl and the fact that she tried to circle around me, told me that she was indeed very thirsty and wasn't up for playing games. She was threatening but defensive in her stance – every muscle tensed and ready to strike out at me with a moments notice. I knew that she was incapable of harming me, her mate...well, not seriously, anyway. To anyone else, however, she was extremely lethal in her present state. Another reason I was glad I hadn't brought anyone with me.
"You can have him. I'll give him to you...if you just do one thing for me," I told her as I reached up and gave the man's arm a gentle squeeze, causing the blood to trickle faster from the wound. I needed her to lose focus.
She inhaled deeply, her nostrils flaring. Her body began trembling from the sheer thirst she was experiencing and I almost handed him over to her at the sight. It was my job to make sure my mate was fed and right now, she was hungry – it was hard to resist, but I pushed it back and focused on the plan.
"What do you want?" she finally growled, but not until she had attempted, unsuccessfully, to once again position herself behind me; to gain some kind of advantage over me. I wouldn't let her - everything was on the line and depended on this moment.
"You can have him...but you need to drop your shield while you feed," I bargained with her. Please let this work, please let this fucking work.
Frustration swept across her features as she ran through her options. She didn't want to have to fight me for him, but she wasn't going to give up much to get what she wanted.
"I'll drop my shield for a moment, then you give him to me," she attempted to demand. Not happening, darlin'.
"No deal," I stated firmly and lifted the man's arm toward my lips. I was satiated back at the cabin from the woman, but after having run so fast, I had already used a good portion of that up and his blood did smell fairly decent. I paused with his arm just an inch from my lips; once his blood touched them, I wouldn't be able to stop. I knew my own limitations. Take the bait...please take the bait, baby...
"Wait!" she growled. "You have a deal, now give him to me!"
I quirked an eyebrow and slowly lowered the man's body to the ground at my feet, forcing her to come to me to get him.
"Drop your shield before you approach," I ordered calmly, making my stance as nonthreatening as best I could.
I felt it as soon as her shield lowered and her annoyance and anger hit me full force. There's my girl.
She moved cautiously toward me and stopped in front of his body before she couldn't resist a second longer and was on him, her teeth ripping savagely through his flesh. The distinct crushing sounds of the man's bones under her strong grasp, the popping tear of his muscles and tendons from her sharp teeth, and the sound of her wet and greedy swallows against his human flesh...they were all music to my fucking ears – it meant my mate was being fed and I had done my job well.
I waited while she fed, watched her body move as she hunched over her meal protectively. This was it, I knew I would only get one chance to save her. When his scent lessened and I could hear her swallows become shallower, I pounced on her and sent her as much lethargy as my gift would allow.
She struggled in my arms violently and I could feel my hold on her slipping, both with my gift and my body.
"NO! I WILL NOT FUCKING LOSE YOU!" I growled - loudly - the ground shaking beneath my feet from the sheer force of the vibration.
Something snapped inside me at that moment, something I'd never experienced before. My gift intensified to a staggering amount and her struggles began to weaken immediately. I tightened my hold on her and breathed in her scent in shuddering, desperate gasps. Her body fell limply into my arms and when I looked down, I found her eyes closed and her breathing slowed. She was...unconscious? What the fuck? What have I done to her?
Nothing, you moron. She's your mate, remember? You can't actually hurt her, my conscience snipped. Someone was sure pissed off at me.
He did have a point though, even if he was being an asshole about it. No matter, I'd deal with him later. He snorted and went back to pouting, while I gently gathered Bella up into my arms and began to run back toward the Cullen's house. I carelessly left the mutilated and drained body of the man laying on the forest floor. Hopefully no one would come across it before I could dispose of it properly.
The run back seemed to take ten times longer. I simply couldn't get her there quick enough, no matter how hard I pushed my body to move faster.
As I neared the waterfall where we had shared our first kiss, I heard them. They were talking about their plan to come after us and trying to come up with a strategy to stop Bella. All of them were there...even Edward - fucking asshole started all of this and we would definitely be having a little talk in the near future, one on one. I should have known the others wouldn't listen and stay back like I had told them to.
Their shock hit me in waves as they heard my swift approach. When they finally came into view, their emotions were a mixture of relief, fear, and overwhelming concern as they took in the sight of Bella's limp body draped across my arms, her head swaying to and fro against my shoulder. My hand snapped up and stopped it's movement, cradling it protectively against me.
I hesitated for a moment, unsure where to take her, until I saw that Esme had completed the tree-house. With eleven different sized windows on the front wall alone, the thing was the most amazing-and-huge-tree-house I'd ever seen. It was raised off the ground with giant two-by-fours and large tree-like beams of wood. There were carved stairs leading up and around towards the back of the house and I sprinted up them wordlessly.
The inside was a giant great room with three very small bedrooms at the back the only other rooms. Basically they were just big enough for a bed, a small dresser and nothing else. Still, it was the most lavish tree-house in the history of tree-houses. I'm not sure how she fucking managed it in such a short time – leave it to Esme to pull this off.
I randomly chose one of the bedrooms and sat down on the bed with Bella still cradled in my arms. Looking down at her closed eyes and peaceful face, I leaned down and swept my tongue across her slightly parted lips, cleaning off the left over human blood. I eased off my gift, leaned back against the wall, and waited for my mate to wake up.
Since I wasn't sure what I had even done to her, I didn't know how long that would take...but I was sure of one thing, she'd be pissed that I had stopped her and possibly never forgive me for what I'd done to capture her. She was here, though, in my arms – that was all that mattered, for now.
I heard his footsteps ascending the stairs slowly. That was a wise move on his part. My mate was vulnerable in this condition and I wasn't in the mood for company. His hesitance made him appear less threatening, fortunately.
He paused in the doorway, his gaze immediately falling on Bella. His fingers twitched, the doctor in him wanting to examine her, but knowing that would not go over well, I assumed.
"What happened to her?" Carlisle asked in a mixture of curiosity and concern.
"She's fine," I defended, clutching her tighter. "I just knocked her out with my gift, I think. I'm not sure how I did it exactly," I added, watching his every movement as he stepped into the small room. He was too close, too close to my vulnerable mate and I let out a low, rumbling warning growl, causing him to take a cautious step back.
He nodded his head in understanding. "She'll be fine, Jasper. You'd never hurt her," he reassured me, ignoring my reaction.
"It's not over," I stated simply, my hand smoothing some blood-drenched strands of hair from her face. He nodded again and stood there staring at us in silence for a few moments, contemplative.
"Your eyes are red," Carlisle blurted out while nervously fidgeting – something I'd not seen him do before. I knew he needed to act human more than the rest of us did. Working at the hospital made that necessary, but I'd never seen him bring it home with him, as it were.
"Look, if you came in here to fucking lecture me about..."
"I didn't," he cut me off hastily. "That's not it."
"Then what do you want?" I asked rudely. I didn't fucking owe him politeness, especially after recent events. It didn't mean I didn't still care – unfortunately. This would all be so much fucking easier if I could just not give a damn about any of them but the woman in my arms. But it was a little too late for all of that. I had let myself care without even realizing it.
He continued to stare at Bella, laying seemingly peaceful in my arms. I wondered myself if she could dream in this state, or if she could hear everything we said... Was she asleep or was this more like being in a comatose state?
"I just...if I could save Esme, if I could protect her from Aro...I would do anything," he whispered, pausing as his voice grew hoarse with emotion. His topaz eyes rose to meet my newly crimson ones and the pride that poured off of him was staggering. If I hadn't been sitting down, I think it may have knocked me down.
Pride? What could he possibly be feeling proud of me for? I'd broken his cardinal fucking rule; I had killed a human...and I'd made her feed off of one.
"If I could save my mate...I would kill a thousand humans, if that is what it took," he stated matter-of-factly. "Don't let the guilt from this linger, son. You did what you needed to do to save your mate."
I nodded in unspoken thanks for his words. They meant more to me than he could possibly know – or maybe he did know. Who fucking knows at this point. I really suck at all this caring bullshit.
"I didn't clean up properly," I blurted out as he turned to leave. "The cabin...the fire, the bodies..."
"Edward and I will take care of it. You have more important things to concentrate on right now. Oh, you should probably also know the Denalis will be arriving soon at the house, with the exception of Irina that is - she is newly mated and they went off on their own for a bit. Eleazar assured me that if we needed more help, he would contact her, however. I called them for help after Bella ran," he informed me.
I nodded silently again and he turned to leave. Fuck, why was this so goddamn hard?
"Carlisle?" I called out to him hesitantly.
He turned back around and looked at me questioningly.
"Thank you."
He nodded and smiled sadly at me before leaving. Peter passed by Carlisle on the way in and gave him a curious look but said nothing. Peter remained in the doorway, not even attempting to enter the room - he knew; he always knows.
"How is she?" Peter asked, concern etched across his face. His pure and genuine concern for my mate made me want to hug the shit out of him – it was an unsettling feeling to say the least. Damn emotions. I really was turning into a pussy. My cock was too stunned by recent events to even make a snide comment - that was a first.
"She's...fuck, I don't know, Peter," I told him honestly, my fear seeping into my voice. If I could let my guard down around anyone, it was Peter. We had been through too much together to hide behind bullshit. "I've never...knocked anyone out before like this. I didn't even know I could do that for fuck's sake! Since I supposedly can't hurt my mate, I assume she'll be fine once it...wears off."
"What can we do to help?" he asked simply, not commenting on the scent of fresh human blood emanating from Bella or my crimson eyes. He always knows.
I shook my head as I mulled over his question. "Set up a perimeter? I don't know what she will do when she comes out of this. She's going to be so pissed at me, Peter," I groaned forlornly. I knew she would be angry about what I had done to capture her. It was inevitable and...quite frankly, scary as fuck. Yes, I admit it, she could probably kick my ass if she really wanted to – it was a first for me and I wasn't sure how to deal with that revelation. The only way Maria had held me prisoner for so long was by using sheer numbers against me...and Bella was like ten or twenty of her best fighters combined.
He chuckled at my expression. "You'll live...maybe not in one piece, but I have faith that she'll let you live," he reassured me, speaking from experience. Char had once made him go without his right foot for a month after he pissed her off badly. After threatening to stick it up his ass the next time, she gave it back to him, complete with glittery pink toenail polish. Have I mentioned before how much I love her?
"I hope so," I replied, looking down at her. If she stayed, I wouldn't give a fuck what she did to me. She could paint my nails any color she fucking wanted if I could just hold her, love her for eternity. Of course I wouldn't tell her that, I wasn't stupid. The last thing I wanted was ten different colored toes... but that's another Peter story for a different day.
"Char wanted me to give you a message. She said, "use the rope", whatever the hell that means," he told me, rolling his eyes.
"'Use the rope'? Why is she talking in riddles, Peter? Couldn't she come tell me this herself?" I growled at him. If she had information that would help my mate and wasn't telling me...
"She said the two of you needed to figure it out on your own, or it might not work," he argued in her defense. "You know how she is with all her voodoo soul mate crap," he added, making a crazy sign by his head, though I knew he believed in it and just didn't want to admit to it. I was a believer now after what I'd experienced earlier - Char was going to be so smug about that little piece of information when she found out - fuck me.
"She was afraid if she came to tell you that herself, she'd cave and tell you..."
Just then his phone rang, that same horrible vampire song filling my ears. Unfucking believable.
"You've reached Peter's suicide hot-line, where we lend an ear and pretend to care! Please hold," he answered, covering the mouth piece. I stared at him in disbelief as he looked completely giddy at receiving a call – a suicide call! Fucking Peter. He was going to lose another body part to Char soon if he wasn't careful with those hot-lines. I wonder what color she will go with this time...
"I'll give you some privacy. If you need us..." he trailed off, giving me a meaningful look.
"I'll let you know, Peter, thanks," I assured him, running my thumb across Bella's cheek.
He nodded and took his hand off the mouth piece. "Go ahead, I'm pretending to listen now. Uh huh... ohhh, that's terrible... uh huh..." his voice began to fade as he left. "No, no, you shouldn't hang yourself...most people don't get the knots right..."
I stared down at my mate and sighed. "I love you, Bella," I whispered, placing feather-light kisses to her temple, her cheeks, her neck...and finally my bite mark. "It's going to be okay. I won't let her take you from me. I promise, baby, it's all going to be okay somehow," I murmured into her ear, while reaching my palm up and resting it over her heart, the place that I now know holds a piece of my soul.
I wasn't really sure if I was trying to convince her or myself that everything would be okay. It didn't matter, however, because as I pulled back to look down at her...
Her beautiful ruby eyes stared back silently.
The calm before the storm...
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AN:
So, the song asks, "Would you kill to save a life?" I guess we have Jasper's answer.
What do you think about Carlisle's admittance? Surprised? Does his admission change your view of him at all?
Would you kill to save a life?
**I would really love to know what you thought about this chapter since I struggled with it so much. So if you review and give me a sneak peek into your mind, then I'll send you a sneak peak from the next chapter! (It's a very small teaser but it makes me giggle every single time I read it.) That's a win/win, right? If that's not enough to tempt you, I'll let you paint Peter's toenails any color you want, hehe. ;)
*Links to the amazing-and-huge-tree-house Esme built and the song are both on my profile.
~*~ Please be signed in if you want the teaser! I can't send it to you if you aren't. ~*~