Chapter 75: Matters of Love and War
"The scouts have returned, Commander."
Cullen nodded as he took the parchment from the soldier's hand. It was now two hours past sunset, and the bulk of their force was settling in for the night.
The Commander opened up the report from Scout Harding, detailing their first days of operations in the Exalted Plains. The rest of their force would arrive in three days. Both to reinforce the Orlesians and give the Inquisitor any aid she needed.
Cullen skimmed over the report quickly, making sure that nothing had befallen the scouts or Ana, so far everything seemed normal, chaotic as always but normal.
It was never easy when moving into a new area; pacification was about more than simply having boots on the ground. You also had to identify who was friend or foe. So far it appeared the Orlesian army was neither, they were all for the most part pinned inside their fortifications, being menaced by the undead.
Still he wasn't worried, Ana was there.
He smiled slightly.
She would sort the whole mess out.
He dismissed the young soldier and leaned back in his chair. Most men would be worried, the woman they cared for walking into such danger. Cullen was more…pragmatic about it all. Ana had survived many amazing and dangerous things already.
She was not easily stopped or daunted.
Was he concerned? Yes. But at the same time, he knew that she was not alone, Harding's people were there, not to mention the members of her inner circle…
…If he could not trust them, then who?
He glanced over at the paperwork that had been arriving since they had first set up here. He knew that he should get to it, but…at the same time…he found himself becoming distracted, and for once it had nothing to do with lyrium.
A hint of a smile played over his lips.
His mind kept drifting back to Val Royeaux, to Ana and what they had shared in her room.
She had pulled him into her room, slowly slipping out of her robe, revealing silk, lace, and soft flesh. Slowly she had coaxed him out of his armor, and then the rest of his clothes. After that…well…things…they had gotten more interesting…
The memory sent a shudder down his spine, her breath warm on his neck, the feel of her feather-light touch and warm gentle kisses.
Cullen swallowed hard.
In their own way, those thoughts were worse than the nightmares that haunted him, because they were so distracting, distracting…yet…
He sighed softly.
Wonderful.
His fingers wandered over the soft plains of her body, she sighed contentedly as he explored, and awakened her passions with the merest caress. Their lips crashed together, teasing, wanting, dancing. She whimpered with pleasure as he slowly turned her onto her back, as her legs…
A shudder ran through him.
Maker's breath, he thought.
Whatever am I going to do now?
They had both wanted it, he could not deny that. She had stolen his resolve and he had been a willing and eager victim. Once he had gotten her out of her robe, he…well there was no easy way to say it. He had been overcome with desire, with wanting…
It…it had been far too long!
The Inquisitor…Ana…she…she had awoke something inside him, something that he had feared long dead, or broken. After Lona…he…
He had feared that he would never be able to let go with a woman again. That the shadows of Kinloch Hold and Uldred had severed his ability to let go and simply be free with another person. It had taken time, but Ana had…reawakened that part of him, fixed it. It had allowed him not only to surrender to her, but to dominate her as well, just as she had surrendered, yet dominated him. Love and desire was not all about strength after all, at least, he did not think it was.
Surrender had its place too.
"Cullen! OH SWEET MAKER! CULLEN! MY LOVE!"
"OOOOOOH! YESSSSSS!"
He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
Ana's words burned in his breast, making his body stir even now at the memory of it.
It…it had been…good.
Yet even lost in the throes of passion, a bit of that old fear remained, twice he had woken in the night, expecting to see Uldred's followers descending on them. Ready, to drag him back to the pain of the past…
Ready to kill Ana before his eyes, just as they…as they…
He shivered at the memory.
Lona's fate still haunted him, he could not deny that. For years the lyrium had held that pain at bay, but it was never far from his thoughts.
He frowned.
Was he making a mistake? Was what he had with Ana now…a mistake?
It was tempting to say that it was, to retreat back into the cold hard shell he had hidden inside since he had first left Kinloch Hold. All he had to do was bind his heart back up with anger and duty, and that would be it, except for one small problem.
He…no longer wanted to.
He pushed the reports away, shaking his head.
In Kirkwall, he had often been accused of being too dour for his own good, too serious. Maker knew; Varric had called him on it enough since joining the inquisition. It was true that he hid from his emotions that during all his time in Kirkwall, he had never once sought release from the burdens. Other men could go to a tavern or to the Blooming Rose to find release.
Cullen…had never been able to do that. At the time, he called it shameful, that he needed to be above such things.
The Knight-Captain that he had been would say his relationship with Ana Trevelyan was a mistake. Not only was she of noble birth, but just a young girl, far too young for someone like him to be chasing around after. When he had first joined the Inquisition, he would never have dreamed of allowing himself to grow as close to Ana as he had.
It wasn't proper.
It wasn't fair to her.
She was worth fifty of him. He should keep his distance and let her find her own happiness.
All those arguments seemed valid, but at the same time he could not help but wonder if it was just his own fears getting in the way, trying to steal away the fun of newest…relationship.
Again he smiled slightly.
Was that what the two of them had? A relationship?
He liked to think so.
Ana was noble born, true, but her family seemed fine with their…pairing. As for Ana's youth, well, the things she had faced the trials she had endured. It had matured her to level that now allowed her to lead the entire Inquisition. If she could do that, then a relationship with him did not seem so farfetched.
No, whatever obstacles they faced, they would do so together. They were stronger together than they were apart, and if they could find happiness along the way, then why not?
Did the two of them not deserve to find some peace amidst this war?
When Corypheus was dead, and the Venatori defeated, they would have a decision to make. Where do we go from here?
How far were they prepared to go? He knew what he wanted, but was that what Ana wanted to? She thought it was, but…
You're getting ahead of yourself, his conscience chided; you still have a long way to go. Focus on your duty, and if and when Ana needs affection or comfort be there for her, just as she has already been there for you.
It isn't a hard thing, all you have to do, is be there; the rest will take care of itself.
IOI
Ana made her way through the Dalish camp. She tried to remain focused on what came next. They still needed to reach Fort near the water; it was there that the largest garrison of the Orlesian army was based. They had been pushed back by the swell of undead, undead that Ana and the Inquisition would need to clean out before they could bring this place back under control, not that that would be easy of course, the Freemen of the Dales seemed more than eager to try and upset her plans.
The ramparts needed to be taken, once that was done they would be able to focus more on the Freemen and the fade rifts here. The Dalish would likely be able to help with that, provided they could win their trust.
Given the Keeper's reaction to them, it would not be an easy thing to accomplish. The hunter they had met, Olafin seemed open to a dialogue, but his keeper, an elf named Hewen, was determined not to be so…cooperative.
Ana had done what she could to try and win their cooperation, she had sent what supplies they could spare, not to mention aided in clearing a clutch of demons from one of the Dalishs' holy sites. She had even volunteered to go looking for one of their lost brethren, a boy named Valorin…
That search, had ended poorly.
They had found the boy, what was left of him. He had been trying to summon something, and had been overwhelmed, from the blood soaked journal they had found near the body it was clear that he had been trying blood magic.
The inquisitor shook her head.
The boy should have known better.
Blood magic was a double edged sword, more often than not, it killed its wielder.
She had brought what she could back to the boy's sister. Emalien, as her people called her had nearly fainted when she got the news. Ana had been respectful while the keeper did what he could to comfort the poor girl.
When…when the girl asked what had happened, Ana had lied, telling the girl that her brother had been brave, that he had died bravely trying to recover a lost artifact for his people. She could have told the girl the truth, but what good would that do?
The boy was still dead; let her believe he had died trying to do something worthwhile.
Having siblings herself, she sympathized with the girl's plight. Despite the issues she sometimes had with her family, she would have been heartbroken if anything happened to either Lizzy or Andy.
Family was still family after all.
You always loved them, even if there were times that you did not like them very much.
She passed by one of the hunters, a young elf by the name of Loranil. He, like several of the other young hunters, seemed more than curious about the Inquisition; they had apparently been watching her scouts for quite a while before revealing themselves. The young Dalish were surprised to see so many elves serving as scouts and soldiers in the Inquisition.
"The Inquisition accepts any who are willing to fight for us," she had informed Keeper Hewen, "After all, both elves and humans fought at Andraste's side, how can we do any less?"
The Keeper had snorted at that.
"Not all humans are so accepting, Inquisitor," he said gesturing around them, "All you need to do is look at the great ruins that dot the Dirth…"
He shook his head.
"Acceptance? It isn't something that we expect from the shemlen."
Ana gave him a sad look.
"I don't blame you for not trusting me," she said, "Trust is earned, and as you put it, you have ample evidence in the ruins of this place what the powerful's promises are worth."
She bowed her head slightly.
"What the chantry did here, what they considered righteous was unforgivable. I can't change the past, Keeper, but that does not mean that we cannot change the future.
She stood beside him, watching as Inquisition soldiers unloaded the supplies the clan could use to get underway, metal to repair their aravels, skins and herbs to treat his people's ills.
The Inquisitor gave him a wary smile.
"We are not the chantry, or the Orlesian Empire, we are not here to take from you or yours. All we want is to stop our enemies from plunging this world into chaos and darkness."
The Keeper's ears twitched with amusement.
"The humans that came here so long ago said much the same thing," he said, "They called us evil, the forces of chaos, they said their chant would bring order, yet all we found in it was death and despair."
Ana was about to respond, but the Keeper raised his hand.
"We will not make any decision about you yet, Inquisitor," he promised, "But we will watch, your motives are still not clear."
He turned to walk away.
"I would like to see a shemlen keep her word," he said over his shoulder, "You have done more than most…
"We will see if you are an ally, or not."
He left her then. She did not try to follow. Some might have been insulted by his reaction. Some might have taken the supplies they had brought and left the elves with nothing.
She did not do that.
Ana frowned.
She remembered something that Dorian had told her.
"No one will thank you when this is over, remember that."
She knew that he was right, of course. She had the nobles support right now, Corypheus was a threat that they could not match. They would let her fight the Elder one in their name…
…But when that was over…
She could not help but wonder…
What would happen then?
What would happen to the Inquisition then?
What would happen to her?
Part of her still wanted to go back to Ostwick, to retire and live her life.
She smiled slightly.
She imagined herself back in Ostwick, with Cullen at her side. Would he stay with her? Would he be able to put his sword down too?
She hoped that he would. I they lived, she would like to have the chance to see what was next for them.
Love, happiness, a family, was that beyond the two of them?
It would be interesting to find out.
"Ana?"
She sighed.
Duty called…again.
"Yes Dorian," she said softly.
"We've located a small Venatori camp north of here."
Her eyes narrowed.
"Any sign of the Freemen?" she asked.
"The scouts did not see any," the Tevinter answered, "But that does not mean that they aren't there."
The Inquisitor nodded.
Dorian suspected that the Venatori were behind these Freemen. She could not say that she did not agree.
Corypheus liked his pawns.
If the Freemen were just that, pawns, then they would have to be dealt with, just another stepping stone on the way to the Elder One himself.
Ana's eyes turned cold, her mouth a grim line.
There would be time for thought of the future later, right now; the Exalted Plains needed her attention.
The ramparts, the fort, the Freemen, and then one day…Corypheus himself; there were still many battles for them left to fight, many battles.
She sighed.
It was time to get to them.
"Let us go see these, Venatori, Dorian," she said, "I doubt they would want us to keep them waiting."
"I suppose not, my dear," he said, "After all, I think they have lived long enough, time to send them all to their final reward."
She smiled slightly.
"No mercy for your countrymen?"
He snorted.
"Men like Corypheus tried to ruin the world once, and now, too many of my idiotic countrymen would make that mistake again…"
He shook his head.
"I doubt they would listen even if we did offer them a chance to surrender, of course that is what fanatics do isn't it?"
He gave her a merry smile.
"And that is why we kill them?"
She chuckled softly.
Trust Dorian to cut to the heart of the matter. The Venatori were their enemies. In war, one killed one's enemies.
That simply was what was done.
She drew her sword.
It was time to kill her enemies. She was ready.
Dorian drew his staff, the crystal top flared, almost as eagerly as her companion.
She said nothing.
There would be time for talk later.
For now, there was work to be done.
The war…would continue.