Chapter 4: The End of Obligation
Byakuya sat in stunned silence, his arms wrapped around his body and his eyes on Renji's still form. Even though his vice captain was obviously unconscious, the noble could still feel the shattering pain Renji had been experiencing during the consummation.
If it can be called that…It shouldn't have been like that. I know that the king's power had to be placed in him, but it shouldn't have been so painful. It sickens me knowing what I did to him…
But there was no undoing what had already been done, and Byakuya was keenly aware that there was still more to the rebirth ritual. There would be some time now while the king's spirit form molded itself into Renji's shape and took control of his body. Then, he knew, it would be his job to keep the levels of power stabilized within Renji's body while the king's spirit form matured and grew ready to emerge.
But while there was time, there was time to begin making things right…
He loosed his arms from around his body, shivering, though the room was not cold. No, the coldness was inside him now, spinning and chilling every part of him as his body remembered what it had been made to do. A heavy wave of sickness passed over him and he stopped short of Renji to catch his breath and swallow the discomfort. He hadn't had any kind of control, he reminded himself. It was hardly any type of consolation, but it comforted him enough to make himself move towards Renji again, crawling on hands and knees, his black hair hanging down limply and his hands shaking as he sat up beside his vice captain and reached out to touch him.
He half expected the golden eyes to open and for Renji's body to pull away from his touch. But his life partner remained perfectly still except for the movements of his breathing…lying facedown…his yukata rumpled and stained with semen and blood.
Blood… And bruises where my hands held him…
The sick feeling passed over him again and he closed his eyes and breathed through it. He forced his emotions down in a hard exhale and moved forward. His hands took hold of Renji's yukata and he carefully removed it. He climbed out off of the bed and gathered several towels and some warm water, then cleaned away what he could. He winced at the pain he still sensed in Renji's body, but without his spirit centers, had no healing power to relieve it. With nothing left he could do, he dressed his life partner in a fresh yukata and moved Renji so that he lay on his back, resting more comfortably on the pillows. Byakuya remained kneeling beside him, waiting for some sign of returning consciousness. Some time later, Renji began to shift uncomfortably in his sleep…then finally, much later, the golden eyes opened and looked up at Byakuya.
A chill ran down the noble's spine.
This…this isn't Renji. It doesn't even feel like him. This is the king…
"Lie down," Renji's voice said, echoing strangely.
His heart racing, Byakuya obeyed. He laid his body down next to Renji's, flinching uncomfortably as Renji's body lifted and leaned over him. He shivered as the glowing white hands loosed the tie at his waist.
"M-my lord…?" he said questioningly.
"Shh…" he breathed, touching a hand to the noble's heaving breast, "I'm only restoring your spirit centers so that you may stabilize my spirit energy if it should begin to overwhelm this body. It is very important that you do not allow that to happen."
Byakuya nodded and tried to hold still even as the feel of Renji's hands touching him so intimately sent cold shivers up his spine. He knew the touches were not sexual, but no one other than Hisana and some of the healers responsible for his care had ever touched him beneath his clothing like that. But, he reminded himself, because he was now married to Renji, his life partner had the right to touch him sexually…and despite how it made him feel, he was required to allow it.
"You have questions," the odd, echoing voice said as one of Renji's hands slid down his torso, placing a spirit center and focusing power through it until the new center lit brightly and returned a soft pulse, "Speak them."
Byakuya thought carefully.
"Why don't I feel Renji's mind? I felt it before, beginning when we were bonded."
"The transfer of my power was too burdensome, so I have made his mind sleep. It is better this way."
"Why is it that he is able to withstand your power sharing his body and I was not?"
"When my power was fed into your body, through the captains in the throne room, the power was in its natural, unrendered form. It would have overwhelmed you. Your body held it and made it more stable so that it could be placed in the vessel and fully stabilized," the king explained.
"My lord," Byakuya said, his voice softening, "can you tell me why Renji and I were chosen for this? We are not lovers…and in fact, had no romantic interest with each other. I have only ever been with my late wife…and I believe that Renji has only ever been with women…"
"None of those things were considered," the king told him, "What mattered was the levels of your power and the connection between you."
"Connection?" Byakuya repeated, "You mean, because he is my vice captain?"
"You and this man are passionately connected. Most recently, you have used that passion to hurt each other."
Byakuya blinked.
"You…mean, because we fought over Rukia's fate?"
The king nodded.
"You loosed the full force of your passions for each other as enemies, and thus revealed your potential to me."
"Our potential?"
The king held a hand where Byakuya could see, letting a small strand of his power flare between two fingertips.
"You powers are deeply connected to your emotions. When you are emotionally connected to your battle, you fight at the utmost peak of your ability. You cannot help it. It is how you are made. It is the same way with love. If you direct the passion within you to empowering your ability to love each other, you will improve your connection."
"But I don't love Renji…and he does not love me…" Byakuya objected.
The king smiled.
"You speak of love as though it either exists or does not. But even your love for Hisana had to begin somewhere, Byakuya. And if you will remember, after you saved your sister, the energies between you and Renji shifted in a positive way."
"We respect each other. We work well together…but…"
"You doubt that Renji will ever awaken the passions inside you? But they already have awakened before."
"But that was anger…hatred…"
"That became respect and has the potential to become affection…even love…"
"How?" Byakuya asked desperately.
Shock flooded his body as the king moved and brought Renji's body gently down on top of his. He stared into the golden eyes in confusion, and the confusion increased as Renji's mouth captured his and gently invaded it. He sucked in a surprised breath and was shocked by the instant reaction in his body. His stomach twinged and his body went weak and pliant in Renji's arms. The king smiled warmly down at him.
"You only need to open your hearts and allow your passions to surface. The rest will happen on its own."
He lifted himself away and continued to restore Byakuya's spirit centers.
"But I hurt Renji…when I…"
"You did not hurt Renji. I did. The force of the power and my need to be placed in him caused me to become careless. I am an immortal, spiritual being, not accustomed to being contained within a physical form. The rebirthing process requires the use of physical forms and while I inhabit them, they feel foreign to me. My responses to my needs are more primal, less emotionally adroit before the power is rendered. I did not intend to inflict pain, but simply failed to avoid it due to the instability in the energies controlling me at the time."
"But even though it wasn't me…it was my body that was used to inflict that pain. His body will remember…and he will respond negatively."
"Yes," agreed the monarch, "That is likely at first. But you will work your way past that. Trust yourself. You and Renji already have the potential for great love. I will caution you though, that the same potential can be used for hatred. You have already been down that road together and you must avoid traveling it again if you wish to find contentment with each other. You have been alone for too long. You need him…and he needs you."
"Why would Renji need me?" Byakuya asked curiously.
The king shook his head.
"You will have to discover that on your own."
They were quiet for several minutes as the king finished placing the last spirit center. Byakuya stood by the bed and looked into the mirror, encouraged by the return flare of power inside him and regaining of his own coloring and form. He returned to the bed and knelt next to Renji. The king had lain down again and rested on his back against the pillows.
"May I heal him?" he asked the king, who smiled and nodded.
"I will wake him and allow the two of you to bond for the remainder of the rebirthing. Remember what I said, Byakuya. Trust yourself and Renji to ignite your inner passions."
The golden eyes closed and Renji's body fell still. Byakuya leaned over Renji and searched his body carefully, using their new connection to sense the areas of pain so that he could address them. He was healing the last of the bruises, his hand moving slowly over Renji's hip as his life partner opened his eyes and registered the noble's touch. His eyes flared in reaction and he shoved Byakuya hard, forcing him off the edge of the bed. The noble stood still, meeting Renji's tormented eyes warily.
He hates me for hurting him…
And he should…
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji woke the the feel of Byakuya's touch on his bare hip and pushed the noble away forcefully, then stared as Byakuya recovered himself and stood gazing quietly back at him.
"Don't touch me," he said in a low voice, trying to keep it from shaking.
"I was only trying to heal you."
"Why?" asked Renji, nearly choking on his emotions, "so you don't have to see the damage you did?"
"It was…"
"I'm not just talking about that, Captain. I'm talking about the fact that none of this came as a shock to you. You knew! You knew what was going to happen and you didn't say ANYTHING!"
"I didn't know he would hurt you like that," Byakuya said quietly, "I'm sorry, Renji."
"So…what else haven't you told me? What other secrets are you keeping that are going to jump out and do damage?"
"Nothing…all that's left is for me to keep your body stabilized as the king's new form matures and prepares to emerge. I am not keeping anything from you."
"Huh," huffed Renji, sitting up and turning away, "And why should I believe you? Why should I believe one damned word you say?"
"Because I am telling you the truth. Renji, it's true that I knew about the rebirthing process…but I also knew that everything would be explained as we went and I thought it would be better to let you learn things bit by bit, rather than all at once. It was a burden for me, knowing as I did…"
"Well I'm not like you…Captain."
"Renji, we are married. You can just call me Byakuya."
"No."
"No?" Byakuya repeated questioningly.
"You want to make it seem like there's an actual relationship here, Captain…but nobody asked me if I wanted to marry you…and you! You knew all along we would have to be married and soul bonded. What were you afraid of? That I wouldn't accept it? That I would run? That I would escape before someone tied me down and forced me to go along with it?"
"You're just saying this because you're hurt…and it's all very recent," Byakuya said, his voice faltering, "When we go home…"
Renji turned and glared at him and Byakuya was shocked to see tears on his face.
"When we go home, I want you out of my life. I never want to see you again…Captain."
"You're just tired…and hurt…"
"Let me make this clear to you. I despise you. You are nothing to me. Leave me alone."
"I have to…"
"Fine…" snapped Renji, "but other than that, you don't touch me…ever!"
"I understand your feelings towards me…and I won't do anything you don't want me to…but you are married to a clan leader. You are required to live in the manor…"
"I'm not a member of your fucking clan!" Renji stormed, "I don't have to follow their rules!"
"That's where you're wrong," Byakuya said softly, "You became a member of the Kuchiki clan when we married…and you will conduct yourself as such, so as not to dishonor my family. Because we are both male, there is no requirement that we share a bed…but you must remain at the manor."
"Yeah, well…" Renji said, standing and starting towards the bedroom door, "someone kind of forgot to tell me all of the rules here. But I'm sure there will be a shitload of them when we go home."
"Then…you won't leave me?" Byakuya asked cautiously.
"According to you, I can't. You win, Captain. I have no choice but to stay with you…"
He put his hand on the door handle, then paused and looked back at the noble.
"But just because I stay, doesn't mean I'll do whatever you say. I didn't choose any of this…and I'll only put up with so much!"
He burst out the door, slamming it shut behind him and leaving Byakuya standing alone, his eyes wide and his heart beating like a drum.
I feel the strength of his passions…just as the king said I would. But, kami, he's so angry! He hates me so much! How am I supposed to turn that into love?
Byakuya left the bedroom and used his connection to Renji to sense where he was. He sensed his life partner was in the King's Garden and followed. He was careful to keep his distance, but to stay close enough that he could reach Renji quickly if the king's power began to overwhelm him. He found a small sakura tree at he top of a hill and sat beneath it, looking out over a lovely expanse of green meadow and colorful flowers. He wondered that he could feel such sadness even while in such a beautiful place. He had always longed to see the spirit dimension…but sadly now, all he wanted to do was to go home…and to put the memory of this place behind him.