A/N: Sorry for the slight delay in updates, life decided to deal me a giant cup of angst so while my love for angst and this story is still very strong, I just didn't have the heart to write it for a few days. Now, I think some of you have been waiting for this moment so here ya go. Thank you for your constant support, it means the world to me.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Castle.

My Future

"We all make mistakes,

Don't let that be the reason you give up on somebody."

-Unknown

The choice comes down to now or never. Castle opts for now. He calls her on the way back to his car, but it goes straight to voicemail. Three more calls end the same way, and it makes him wonder if maybe this is how it was supposed to work out. He chose 'now,' but maybe life had already chosen 'never'.

He's driving back to his loft when he decides to make a call, take a chance. Jim Beckett has always been friendly towards him, but he's not sure of the reception he's going to receive from Kate's dad given the circumstances. Castle's pleasantly surprised when the older man seems not only happy to hear from him, but offers up Kate's flight details and a warm wish for a happy ending.

There's not much time, but he makes a split-second decision to go after her anyway. There may be a ton of things that will threaten to drive them permanently apart, awaiting in their future but after all they've overcome, this is worth the fight.

He weaves in and out of traffic, cursing himself for waiting so long to read her last letter. There's so many things he wishes they could do over, so many missed opportunities to reassure her that he's in this for life—or well, he was until she made a life-changing decision without him. Now he's not sure what's going to happen if he does catch her. He's willing to listen to her, willing to talk it out, but that won't magically fix them and it won't take away all of the hurt. They might crash and burn, but he won't spend the rest of his life wondering because he didn't fight for what he wants.

He parks his car with only seconds to spare, and he sprints through the crowded airport at a pace that surprises him. His body begins to protest but he pushes through it. He's not giving her up without a fight. He repeats her flight information to himself as he runs, making sure that he doesn't mess this up. He's nearly to her terminal when he hears the last call for her flight.

Shit.

He pushes harder, ignoring the burn in his legs as he slides to a stop right in front of where she should be. He doesn't see her, and the last of the people who are on the same flight as her are disappearing through the door. He tries to follow after, calling her name as loud as he can, but his progress is quickly halted by airport security. He begs them to let him through, pleads that he just needs to give someone a message and then he'll gladly leave. It's not happening though, and he can't help but think it's another sign from the universe.

He paces back and forth in front of the huge glass window, watches in agony as the plane begins to move, lifting into the air and taking his heart with it. He rips his phone out of his pocket, makes a last ditch effort to hear her voice, even if it's the last time he ever does. It rings but she doesn't pick up and he fights back the emotions as the call goes to her voicemail.

He doesn't intend to leave her a message but when her voice cuts off the words start flowing out of him.

"Kate, it's me. I um—I'm kind of at a loss for words here, which seems to be the norm when it comes to you. I just want you to know that I didn't want to give up on us. I read your letters. It's too late now, but I read them. So, take care of yourself, let your hair down and maybe when the time is right, you can let someone love you in the way you deserve to be loved. And most importantly be happy. That's all I ever wanted for you."

He stuffs his phone back in his pocket and ignores the ache of his heart. He can't say that he would have forgiven her right away had he caught her, but he at least wanted the chance. His state of mind slowly worsens as he makes it back to his car, and when he gets there he sinks heavily into the driver's seat.

He has no desire to go back to the loft, in fact, he has no desire to go anywhere really, but the place he finds himself at is familiar, comforting. Their swings. These swings have so much meaning to him, to them, and somehow sitting in the same spot where they've overcome countless problems makes it seem as though they have a chance of solving this one.

Castle loses himself in his thoughts—thoughts of her. He lets himself dwell on her for a significant amount of time and then he forces himself to think about something else. He's so consumed with forcing her out of his mind that he doesn't realize the sun is starting to set and there's a light drizzle of rain falling around him.

The steadiness of the rain has turned into a downpour by the time he snaps out of his thoughts and glances around him. His body is slightly numb from sitting in the small swing for so long but he finally manages to stand and re-awaken his limbs. He sprints to his car, although by the time he gets to it he's completely soaked. He can't help but shake his head at the mockery of the rain and those swings. A clack of thunder echoes around him and he remembers the time that a thunderstorm brought a soaking wet, Kate to his door. If only that outcome could be a reality for a second time.

In spite of the warm weather, he's chilled by the time he gets to the door of his loft and he intends to head straight for the shower. He pushes the door open and trudges into the loft, kicking his shoes off once he's inside. He's half-way to his bedroom, focused only on warming up when he hears the sound of her voice. He hadn't glanced towards the living room as he walked by, but there's no way that she's really here. Is there? He saw her plane take off, he missed her, and she's probably settled in D.C. by now. He hears the voice again and he whirls around to find Kate there, in his loft, sitting on his couch.

"Ka—Kate, what are you doing here? I thought—I mean I watched your plane take off this morning." He's still frozen to the spot where he's standing and his legs are starting to feel like jello, because the last person he expected to be sitting on his couch when he got back to the loft is Kate Beckett.

Kate moves from her sitting position on the couch to stand so that she's facing him, but she doesn't move any further. "I didn't—wait, you were at the airport? How did you get my flight information?"

"I called your dad; I didn't know what else to do. I left you a voicemail, did you not get it?"

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair and Castle can't help but notice that she looks like she hasn't slept or eaten since their fight. Her answer comes in a whisper and he almost misses it. "Yes, I got it." And then she continues a little louder this time. "It's kind of the reason that I'm here. I did get on the plane, but I listened to your message before it took off, and although it took a great deal of persuading, I managed to get them to let me off. But—Castle, your message didn't say you were at the airport."

He can't seem to form words to make a sentence so he just shrugs at her. She takes it as an invitation to talk again.

"I had a cab bring me here and I've been sitting on this couch for hours. I didn't know where you were, but I didn't want to take a chance on leaving and missing you."

He starts to say something but she holds up a hand to silence him. She looks as if she's just noticed that his clothes are clinging to his slightly shivering frame. "Castle, I don't want to do this—have this conversation while we stand awkwardly across the room from each other. You look like hell and while I'm sure that's mostly my fault, you're also soaking wet. Why don't you go get some warm clothes on and then if you're willing, we can talk?"

He's torn between which type of emotion he wants to show right now. On one hand he's still really upset with her for the decisions she's made, on the other, he's so glad to see her here and he wants to ask her what the means for them. He decides that he can at least give her a chance to talk, after all, isn't that what he wanted when he went after her at the airport?

"Okay, yeah we can talk. I'm going to go take a quick shower. There's food in the fridge if you're hungry."

He studies Kate for a minute longer, taking in her nod and the fact that she isn't going anywhere, and then he leaves her alone in his living room while he goes to take a shower. He strips out of his wet clothes and leaves them on the floor or the bathroom before stepping into the shower and adjusting the water to as hot as he can stand.

He lets the heat of the water wash away the remnants of the cool rain and chill on his skin. He lets the pounding pressure work into his sore, aching muscles until the water starts to run cool and his skin begins to prune. He dreads this talk more than anything because the outcome of it is completely unpredictable. They're horrible at discussing things and voicing their true feelings until it seems to be too late. And that's the thing that scares him the most—that no matter how much he loves her, it might be too late. Love doesn't fix everything.

He turns of the water, stepping reluctantly out of the shower and into the cool air. His skin prickles with goose bumps as he dries and dresses himself in warm, dry clothing. His Green Lantern t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants seem like a perfect choice for the way he's about to spend his evening.

When he re-enters the kitchen, Kate's in the same spot he left her and he stops a little ways from the couch to study her. She looks deep in thought, the smooth planes of her face lined with worry and tension. He softly clears his throat and takes a seat on the other end of the couch she's sitting on. She startles momentarily before turning slightly towards him.

"Thank you for letting me do that first, I—well I kind of got lost in thought and didn't realize it was raining until I was already soaked."

She nods but doesn't say anything and he can see the slight tremble of her hands as they rest in her lap. He decides to dive right into the conversation. There's no point in dragging it out.

"I'm not really sure where to begin so I'm going to start with this. What are you doing here, Kate? I read your letters and I thought you'd be—shouldn't you be in D.C., embracing your new life?"

Hurt flashes across her face and although he hates to see her hurting in any way, she made her choice and brought them to where they are right now. "Castle, I couldn't—when I got on that plane this morning I thought that we were done. I figured that if you wanted there to still be an 'us,' that you'd read them and show up at my apartment before I left. I knew that I couldn't just show up at your door again and expect you to let me fall back into your arms like nothing ever happened."

"So that's why you decided to write me the letters?" His tone is void of emotion; he needs some answers from her first.

"Yes," she sighs. "I know how much words mean to you and I thought—well, I thought if I gave you all of the ones I've been holding back that maybe you would feel like you knew me better. I thought maybe it would prove how much I trust you; show you that I want to let you in."

He shifts into a more comfortable position on the couch and then glances back over at her. "I do appreciate a good story, especially a true one."

"Castle, those words—they came straight from my heart. Most of the things I wrote to you are things that I've never shared with anyone. I never wanted to share them with anyone—until I met you."

He can hear the emotion in her voice as she speaks and he knows that she means every word she's saying to him. "That means a lot to me, Kate. Making the choice to share those parts of yourself—your heart with me, that's huge."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' there somewhere." She looks nervous, as if she's waiting for him to throw her out or something.

"But that doesn't change what you did. You chose to shut me out on one of the most important decisions you've ever made. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I—I didn't—I don't know." She came back to talk to him and to see if they still have a chance, but now that she's here and they're actually discussing things, she can't seem to find her voice when she needs it the most.

"Did I not love you enough, Kate, is that it? Was I not what you thought I was going to be, so you decided to look for a way out?" He doesn't mean to raise his voice, but now that they've opened the floodgates he can't stop himself.

She stands from her spot on the couch and paces to the center of the room. She buries her head in her hands and when she raises it to speak to him tears are streaming down her cheeks. "God, no—no, Castle. You were always enough; I never meant to make you feel like you weren't. You said you read my letters, I told you what you mean to me. I just—I got scared."

He's up then too, and as he takes a step closer to her, she takes a step back. "Scared of what, Kate?"

She shakes her head as she deftly tries to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Of us, of where we were going—if we had a future."

His resolve softens at her words and he takes another step towards her, this time she doesn't back away. "How could you think that I didn't want a future with you, after everything we've been through? Kate, I waited for four years for you to be ready for an 'us', do you really think that I would've walked away from you?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "It felt like every time I tried to bring it up you shrugged it off. I couldn't tell if you wanted more with me or not."

He backs away from her then and her heart threatens to shatter. "If I'm that bad at showing you what I want then something is seriously wrong. I don't know, Kate. Maybe we're just two people who love each other, but aren't meant to be together. A relationship shouldn't be this hard."

She tries to find the words, any words to tell him that he's wrong, but she can only hold herself up as the tears continue to roll down her cheeks. Castle starts to turn away from her, as if he's going to walk away and she's so afraid that it's going to be for good that she manages to find her voice again.

"Castle, please. Please don't say that; please don't give up on us, on me." She practically sobs the words out and at first she isn't sure that he even understood her, but then he's turning and coming back to stand right in front of her.

"I would never give up on you. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you, Kate, always. But I can't lie and say that giving up on us is an option we both might have to accept. I'm not saying that I have, but we have a lot to discuss before there's even a chance of things working out for us."

She looks completely broken but she nods her acceptance of his words. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks again. "It's late and I'm sure you're just as exhausted as I am. I think we should sleep on it and we can talk more tomorrow." The silence after his question is practically screaming all of the things he's not asking her. Things like, will she even still be there tomorrow?

"Okay, goodnight, Castle." Her voice is quiet and laced with her fear of having to walk away from him for good. She walks around him and gets half way to the door before he stops her with a gently hand on her shoulder. She wills the tears away at the feeling of his touch on her body. He turns her to face him and she can see nothing but concern on his face.

"I went to—I was at," he sighs. "Let me try that again, Kate, I was at your apartment this morning. I tried to catch you before your flight left and I let myself into your place when you didn't answer. I saw everything packed up. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, where are you going to stay tonight?"

She tries to turn away from him again but he tightens his grip on her shoulder. "I uh—I didn't really think that part through when I got off the plane. I'll just call my dad or something."

"No."

His tone isn't controlling but she arches an eyebrow at him anyway. "No?"

"That's not necessary. There's no one else here but me right now. You're more than welcome to stay here."

She starts to tell him no, but she just doesn't have the heart to, not when she's been away from him for what seems like forever. "Okay, I'll stay. Thank you, Castle."

She starts for the guest room but he once again stops her with the soft pressure of his hand. "I know that things are still not fixed between us but were both adults, Kate. There's no reason for you to sleep in the guest room unless you really want to. You can sleep in our bed with me."

Her heart soars at his words because although he's told her that there's a chance that they can't fix their relationship, he's still calling it 'their' bed. She's longed to feel the heat of his body pressed against her own since the night of their fight and she can't find the strength or the will to tell him no. So instead she follows him into 'their' bedroom.

He turns down the bed while she slips into the bathroom to change and then she joins him in the bed. It's awkward at first, both of them holding themselves away from the other until the pull of sleep causes them to relax. She stiffens when her arm brushes against his and she's about to pull away when he presses closer to her.

She's almost asleep when his voice causes her eyes to snap open. "Thank you, for coming back, for fighting for what you want, Kate. I promise not to give up unless that's the only choice I see."

She finds his hand underneath the covers and squeezes his fingers before retreating back to her side of the bed. It's a silent thank you, but she knows he understands. She waits until his breathing evens out before she softly whispers four words that she means more than anything. "I love you, Castle."

He's on the verge of sleep, but her words flood his system, wrap around him and give him a hope that he hasn't seen in far too long.

Bri, thank you for always finding time for not only making my words better, but for being an amazing friend. Xoxo

Would love to hear your thoughts! xo