Dirty Little Secret
By: esmtz
Cartman made his way back towards the cafeteria and went to get food before he took a seat next to Kenny who had been saving him a seat the entire time Cartman was with Stan and Kenny looked at him curiously as soon as Cartman sat down; expecting him to tell him what had happened. Cartman tried to ignore him but after taking a few bites out of his pizza, Kenny was still staring at him making Cartman feel uncomfortable and annoyed.
"What?" Cartman asked turning his head to look at him with an annoyed look on his face.
Kenny rolled his eyes as he looked at him.
"You know what, Cartman. What happened between you and Stan? Did you tell him how you feel?" Kenny smirked when he saw Cartman's face turn a bright red as well as he started shifting uncomfortably.
"…Kinda." Cartman replied feeling his face burn as well as feeling embarrassed about the fact that he had no way of hiding anything from Kenny.
Kenny frowned.
"What do you mean 'kinda'?" Kenny asked.
"Well…all I did was just answer his questions." Cartman replied looking away from him and trying so hard not to go into any details.
Kenny sighed shaking his head.
"Dude, what kind of questions did he ask you?"
"I don't really wanna talk about it Kenny. Let's just say he at least has an idea about why I've been acting weird lately." Cartman said looking slightly worried about how Stan might be feeling right now.
"So he at least thinks you like him?" Kenny asked.
"Well it was kinda implied."
Kenny sighed.
"So you didn't actually tell him. Dude there's no reason for you to be afraid of telling him how you feel."
Cartman turned back to look at him with a look of disbelief on his face.
"You can't be serious, Kenny. For one he's straight, two don't you remember who I am and three even if Stan was gay I seriously doubt he'd go out with me considering who I am." Cartman told him.
"Cartman, Stan doesn't hate like you like Kyle does. Now if Kyle was the person you were asking out that would be a totally different thing." Kenny said making Cartman roll his eyes.
"I doubt it considering they're each others 'super best friends' so basically whatever Kyle feels Stan's gotta feel it too." Cartman said taking another bite of his pizza feeling completely uncomfortable about the fact that Stan knows how he feels about him and yet is Kyle's best friend.
"That's not necessarily the case, Cartman. I think you should try talking to him again." Kenny told him looking at him seriously.
"But he's with Wendy he's not going to break up with her just because…"
Kenny snorted as he went back to eating the rest of his meal.
"That relationship is never going to last. Stan's going to eventually figure out that Wendy isn't the one he wants to be with."
"How are you so sure Kenny?" Cartman asked looking at him with a worried look on his face.
"Trust me I pay attention to things even if you guys think that all I'm thinking about is having sex with girls." Kenny replied looking back at him.
Cartman was about to say something but Kenny interrupted.
"…and no Stan's not going to go for Kyle. That would just make their friendship extremely weird and awkward since neither one of them even thinks of the other one like that anyway."
Kenny was dead serious about what he just said that Cartman decided to just trust Kenny on what he was saying.
"Well ok but I don't see how that's going to improve my chances any." Cartman said as he out his coca-cola bottle from his backpack and took a drink from it.
"Just talk to Stan again and this time you should actually tell him how you feel instead of trying to hide it." Kenny told him.
Cartman sighed and nodded.
"Ok I'll try." Cartman said.
"You'll try what, fatass?"
Kenny and Cartman turned their heads and saw that Kyle had shown up with food and decided to sit across the table from Cartman. Kyle glared at him thinking that Cartman was up to something.
"Nothing you stupid jew. It's between me and Kenny." Cartman replied glaring back.
Kyle rolled his eyes and looked at Kenny expecting him to tell him.
"It really is nothing Kyle so don't worry about it." Kenny said before taking another bite of his food.
"Kenny, it's Cartman. He's always up to fucking something and with that 'I'll try' shit sounds like he's going to do something. So what is it?" Kyle gritted his teeth and went back to glaring at Cartman.
Cartman rolled his eyes as he took another drink of his coke not bothering to answer.
"Cartman." Kyle growled.
"I already told you, Khal nothing! Jesus Christ why can't you just leave me alone?" Cartman asked after having put his coke down and looked at him clearly annoyed.
Kyle looked at him with his mouth agape.
"Leave you alone? LEAVE YOU ALONE?!"
Cartman sighed rubbing the back of his neck feeling stressed that Kyle was still trying to figure out what was going on with him. Kenny however looked on in interest between Kyle exploding with anger and Cartman looking annoyed.
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS STARTS SHIT WITH ME REMEMBER?" Kyle yelled making everyone turn to look at them.
"Oh great they're at it again." Craig sighed who had been sitting at a table that was only two tables away from theirs.
"Kyle, dude calm down. You're making everyone look over here." Kenny said looking at him worriedly.
Cartman looked at Kyle calmly and with a serious look on his face.
"Why do you even care, Khal?" Cartman asked.
This made Kyle look at him with a surprised and slightly red face.
"What are you talking about, fatass?" Kyle asked.
"Ever since we were kids you've ALWAYS tried to stop me from doing something I shouldn't be doing. Of course it always backfires, but still every time I wanted to do something that you didn't like you'd always try to find a way to stop me even though most of the time you knew it wouldn't work."
"That's because you're a fucking fatass who doesn't know how to care for anyone but himself! As long as other people are suffering and you're not that makes you happy!" Kyle replied glaring angrily at him.
Cartman waited for a few seconds before asking.
"So then when I said I didn't want to hang out with you anymore why didn't you just let me leave?"
"Because it's obvious that you're fucking up to something that's why!"
"Khal, when was the last time I actually tried to make other people's lives suffer or anything that would benefit me?"
Kyle was about to respond but when he thought about it the more he realized that Cartman was right. The last time Cartman did anything like that was in elementary school. Kyle gritted his teeth and clenched his fists tightly at his sides.
"That doesn't prove anything asshole! For all we know you were just waiting for the right time to get the better over us; to make us believe that you changed or something and then try to pull off something where even I can't see coming because you decided you wanted to stop hanging out with me! I'm not falling for that!" Kyle replied.
Kenny raised an eyebrow at Kyle wondering why on earth he was trying so hard to convince himself that Cartman was still the same kid that he was in elementary school. Even Kenny could see that Cartman changed a lot since then; not being as mean or judgmental on other people as he was when he was a kid. The whole cafeteria was silent until…
"Kyle?"
Kyle, Kenny and Cartman turned their heads and watched as Stan made his way towards them looking extremely worried. Cartman felt his face heat up and his heart started beating slightly faster than normal as he quickly started to get up and move away. Kyle growled.
"Oh no you don't!"
Kyle ran at Cartman and tackled him to the floor. He started punching and kicking him as they started rolling around on the floor making those that were close to them get out of their seats and move away.
"Get off me you fucking kike!" Cartman yelled as his fist made contact with Kyle's cheek.
"Fuck you, fatass!" Kyle yelled back as he punched him back.
Stan was wide eyed as both he and Kenny went towards them and pulled Kyle off of Cartman.
"Dude, what the hell?!" Stan said as he struggled to pull Kyle further away from Cartman.
"Let me go, Stan!" Kyle yelled struggling to get out of his grip.
Kenny held out his hand to Cartman which he gladly accepted and was pulled to his feet. As soon as they were out of earshot Stan turned Kyle around to face him.
"Kyle, what the hell was that all about?" Stan asked.
"What do you think, Stan? It's Cartman being an asshole as always!" Kyle replied still angry at the fact that Stan pulled him away from Cartman.
"Well, what did he say, dude?" Stan asked frowning slightly.
"Nothing! Dude, he's plotting something I just know it!" Kyle said.
Stan raised an eyebrow.
"Plotting what? He usually tells us what he's going to do before he does it, Kyle."
Kyle shook his head and looked at him.
"No, dude. This is different. This time he's not wanting to come clean about what he's going to do and apparently Kenny is in on it and even he wont tell me. He said it was nothing!" Kyle said growing angrier.
"Maybe I should talk to Kenny. Kyle, I don't think Cartman's up to anything. It's probably just…"
Kyle looked at Stan shocked unable to hear what he was saying.
"You don't seriously believe that do you, Stan? It's Eric fucking Cartman for god's sake!"
Stan put his hands in his pockets and just looked at him worried.
"Listen, Kyle. Why don't you just stay away from him from now on. You're putting yourself under too much stress over what you think he might be doing."
"Hell no, Stan! If I did that Cartman will get away with whatever it is he's planning to do! I'm just going to keep an eye on him as often as I can just to make sure he doesn't do anything suspicious." Kyle replied.
Stan sighed shaking his head.
"Alright, Kyle but I still think you're just wasting your time. I think Cartman's changed for the better."
Kyle raised an eyebrow at him feeling himself grow slightly jealous of the fact that Stan seems to think that Cartman has become a better person.
"What makes you say that?" Kyle asked.
Stan started to turn red.
"N-Nothing. Forget it. I still need to grab myself something to eat before class so I'll see you in a bit." Stan said before rushing back towards the cafeteria making Kyle start to wonder what was going on with him.
Just as Stan turned the corner he accidentally bumped into someone making him fall down.
"Sorry I didn't see you there." Stan said as he slowly got back up only to find himself face to face with Cartman.
Stan felt his whole face burn when he realized that he and Cartman were close enough to each other that they could kiss. Even Cartman was feeling extremely nervous having walked right into Stan and to make matters worse their bodies were almost pressed against each other to the point where Cartman was sure he could feel the heat coming from Stan's face making himself also turn red.
"I-It's ok. I was just about to see if you were…um…going to…have lunch."
Cartman could feel his face getting hotter as well as the nervous feeling in his stomach grow more intense as he hadn't realized that he was leaning towards Stan and was making his way to pressing his lips towards Stan's. At the last second Stan jumped and ran off accidentally running into someone with a lunch tray making them drop their food. He quickly said he was sorry and ran off again. Cartman didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt as he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and slowly made his way back to the cafeteria to finish eating his food. Hiding just behind the next corner of the hallway was Kyle who had seen the whole thing and was completely horrified at what he saw. His eyes were wide unable to process what he just saw.
'No…no fucking way…' Kyle thought completely in shock and without really realizing it also completely heartbroken.
Author's note: I am surprising myself yet again that I managed to post another chapter to this story. I thought for sure that by now I would start to lose interest in continuing this story or at least be too lazy to come up with another chapter but I did so there. Anyway once again thanks for all the support it really means a lot though I have to say coming up with new chapters is hard so yeah. Anyway chances are it looks like I'll update at least once a week (hopefully) so I can have a break and give me a little bit of time to come up with ideas for what will happen next though of course most of the time I come up with the ideas once I start writing so yeah. Anyway I'm grateful to you guys for at least reading this story and giving it a chance because sometimes I think that my stories just aren't as good as I think they are. Ok well bye.