Hermione was never keen bout confusion. She does not like the idea of being confused.

Confusion can bring her to the brink of anxiety where she would think she would hear voice, mocking her and fighting against her. When she finds herself in a whirl wind of confusion, she would always find a way to make it right. If a term used would make her confused, she would throw herself to books and try to understand. If somebody confuses her, she would ponder it for a bit and smile it off when the thought of their topic is not unclear any longer.

During the war, she was never confused when it comes to her feelings. She knows what she feels every single time. She knows it when she is relentless, angry, terrified, frustrated, and even happy at times. She had never dwelt on confusing emotions. That can be one of her weakness.

And that weakness is winning. Ever since she broke everything off from Ron, she never felt safe in her own skin, she never felt at peace within herself, she always find herself locked up in her own room and tears would unexpectedly fall and that confuses her a lot more than she let on to anyone.

If someone else she knows would be just like her today, she would quickly conclude that her friend or that individual is just being melodramatic and desperate for attention. Now she realized how wrong it is. At least Ron didn't make her situation harder by making her look bad. He actually respected her and gave her enough space.

If one emotion she would feel and not to be confused it would be frustration.

She was getting frustrated with everything. Sadly, one of the reason why is the Boy-Who-Lived. She had never expected for Harry to hold on to a grudge when it comes to her, especially if the reason is ending her romantic relationship with her other best friend. According to Ginny, every single time that Harry would utter her name, unfortunately with distaste, is when he complains about Hermione breaking up his best friend and that she was being insensitive and heartless. At the end of those nights, Ginny would just shake her head and let out a disappointed breath.

And Hermione is frustrated with herself. Her uncertainty with her emotions and feelings fuels more than half of her frustration. She is frustrated with the thought of not knowing what she truly feels. Yes, she does have the hint of being angry, disappointed, terrified, guilty and lonely but when she would sum it all up and think of a certain word to perfectly describe it or define it, she would draw up blank. It would look like her brain would shut down when she even thinks about her feelings and that confuses her.

The mind of a Hermione Granger never shuts down and refuses to cooperate.

Adding both of confusion and frustration, then it would always end up with her anxiety. With her anxiety attacks, aside from uneven breathing, trembling frame, unfocused attention, she would make herself believe that voices would attack her verbally and mock her about the decisions and actions she took from the past and she will take for the future.

Being a child, Hermione is, she would always have anxiety attacks but nothing like she is experiencing now. As a kid, her anxiety would always be about events or tasks she is obligated to do in front of an audience. It will always be about being unease and thinking she will make every mistake imaginable and embarrass herself in front of the people watching her every move.

But since the day she broke everything off, romantically, with Ron, she had been experiencing anxiety attacks more frequently and worse than her old ones.

Fingers slightly trembling as she grasps the handle of her muggle mug, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath by her nose and exhaled with her mouth. She is alone again; no one was there to distract her from over thinking things that always leads her to another anxiety attack.

She slowly and calmly counted one up to ten to relax her nerves as she slumped down against her plush sofa. Still eyes closed, she grabbed the book from her side and flipping it open before slowly opening her eyes and let herself drown into the book.

The muggle-born was about to turn another page of the book after a few hours of reading, when her floo flared and stepped out a distraught Ginny.

"Did something happen, Ginny?" She perked up a question, her book already neglected on her lap.

"Harry wants Ron to march up in here and talk some sense into you. I tried talking him out but he was persistent. Ron can't even but in and say no, Hermione. I just flooed straight up here and warn you."

Hearing what Ginny has to tell, Hermione sat there with widened eyes. Her mind working quickly and being geared up was seen by the glint of her eye. The former Gryffindor stood up from her sit and paced around. "I could not believe the nerve of him, Ginny. He is clearly not thinking straight. Did it not enter his mind that Ron might not be ready to see me yet?"

Before Hermione even continue, both Ginny and herself heard a loud pop and in the middle of her living room was a raging Harry Potter.

The Boy-Wonder glared up to Hermione and shakily pointed and accusing finger at her. "You! This is your entire fault. Ron doesn't even want to talk to me because of you!"

The accused witch glared right back at him and retorted back, "My fault? How is that my fault, when you kept on pushing him to talk some sense into me and ask me a second chance for our not-even-working relationship?"

"Then why just go back to him and date him!"

"I cannot do that! I would hurt him more if that happens."

"You ruined my best friend!"

Ginny, who was in the middle of them shook her head and silently glared at her lover. Must he bring that one up? The fiery witch hearing one of her best friends gasp, she knows this just turned into the worst.

"How dare you say that? It wasn't my fault I fell out of love with him, Harry. I did not ask to fall out of our relationship. I did not choose to lose my romantic interests when it comes to him! He is also my best friend Harry. Did you forget about that?"

"If he is your best friend Hermione, then why did you do that?"

"I don't want to hurt him and be depressed!"

"But look at where that led you." Harry mumbled and sent her a final glare before disappearing with a loud 'pop'.

Her knees gave out; as she let her suppressed feelings flourished out as tears threatening to fall due to the incident just happened. Feeling the other witch rub her back and trying to comfort her, she let out a trembling breath and looked up to meet her friend's eyes.

"Do I even deserve this?"

Ginny smiled brokenly and shook her head no.

"No one deserves feeling what you feel."

A/N:

A short chapter but it will do.

Also, this chapter is not fully edited. If you haven't noticed, this selection isn't Beta'd so yeah.

I hope you enjoyed though.

Favourite, Fallow, and Review!

Blue Marian