Dirty Little Secret

By: esmtz

As soon as school was out Cartman immediately made his way towards Stan's house, growing slightly more nervous the closer he got there. He figured that since Stan's parents weren't home and Shelly was most likely off hanging out with her friends that it would give him some alone time with Stan. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more nervous at the thought of being in Stan's house with no supervision. The moment he got there he took a deep breath in and then let it out before knocking on the door. He waited a few minutes before the door was pulled open revealing Stan who looked stressed.

"Oh hey, Cartman. Is Kyle and Kenny not with you?" Stan asked frowning slightly feeling weird about the fact that Cartman never came to his house alone and yet here he was apparently alone and still with his backpack on.

"No they're not. Not sure where Khal is he's been avoiding me lately and as for Kenny I think he went off to bang some random chick." Cartman replied not completely sure if that was true or not.

Stan chuckled as he let Cartman in and closed the door as soon as he entered.

"Is your sister home?" Cartman asked hoping that she wasn't around as he dropped his backpack next to the door.

"No she left a little while ago to go and hang out with her boyfriend." Stan told him, "Want something to drink?"

"Yeah thanks." Cartman said watching as Stan made his way towards the kitchen, "Shelly has a boyfriend?" he asked completely surprised.

"Yeah I couldn't believe it either when she told us. Apparently she's been dating this guy for a couple of months now." Stan replied as he opened the fridge and grabbed a Dr. Pepper, closing it and then made his way back towards Cartman.

"Have you guys met him yet?" Cartman asked as Stan held out the can towards him and he took it opening it and taking a drink from it.

Stan snorted.

"Hell no, dude. When my parents asked when they were going to meet him she made up some kind of excuse saying he was too busy or something. Not that I blame her for not wanting to introduce him to the family because even I can see that my parents are jacked up. I mean they're ok once in awhile, but lately even when we were younger they would have their moments of constantly fighting with each other even to the point of breaking up which happened at least twice before but they never actually got a divorce. Then if that wasn't bad enough you know how my dad is when it comes to Shelly. The last time Shelly had any kind of a boyfriend my dad 'accidentally' got him killed. It's like sometimes I think he's just plain stupid." Stan sighed remembering how his mom had told him the reason why Shelly had been upset during that time when his dad was all into going to and making a musical.

"Yeah sorry, Stan but your dad is kinda retarded." Cartman replied remembering how Randy had gotten drunk one time when he was supposed to have taken them home from karate practice.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose knowing that Cartman was completely right.

"So, uh anyway Cartman what are you doing here? You usually don't show up unless Kenny and Kyle is with you or they are already here." Stan asked looking at him.

Cartman looked at him for a few seconds before responding.

"I saw you at school earlier today breaking up with Wendy. That and you haven't been in school the last couple of days. You don't look sick to me…" Cartman said examining him.

Stan felt his face flush unable to believe that Cartman seemed like he was worried about him.

"Oh that. I was at home sick with the flu but today I feel much better." Stan replied trying to sound convincing.

Cartman raised an eyebrow before sighing.

"Stan, even Kenny was worried that something might have been wrong with you since at the very least you would pick up your cell phone and talk to your friends even if you were sick unless of course you were in the hospital, but then your mom didn't say you were in the hospital so I'm assuming you were at home trying to avoid me."

Stan didn't respond as he felt himself start to get uncomfortable. He swallowed as he allowed Cartman to continue.

"Kenny told me that there was another reason why you broke it off with Wendy besides her cheating on you. Care to tell me what that reason is?" Cartman looking at him curiously.

Stan's eyes lowered to look at the floor, unable to look at Cartman directly in the eyes and silently cursing Kenny for paying attention to everything around him.

"Look, Cartman it's not that big of a deal so just drop it alright?" Stan replied.

Cartman looked at him with a frown on his face as he decided to just come out and be direct with him.

"A couple of days ago you seemed fine when we were talking about the reason why I was acting weird and then right after that…well…you know." Cartman blushed.

Of course Stan knew which was why his face was turning a very bright red when Cartman started to bring that up.

"I just wanted to know if the reason you broke up with Wendy was because…I mean I don't think it is, but I just have to know…did you break up with Wendy for me?" Cartman asked feeling the nervous feeling in his stomach grow as well as his face started heating up from just the idea of Stan picking him over Wendy, who he had loved for a very long time.

Stan couldn't seem to find his voice as he struggled to find the words that he needed to say. After waiting for a few seconds for a response Cartman shook his head.

"Forget it. I knew it couldn't be me I mean who in their right mind would choose me over a girl like Wendy especially you of all people who was so in love with her in elementary school. Sorry for wasting your time. I'm just gunna go. I figure tomorrow Khal's going to be all over my ass calling me a fag so…" Cartman said before turning to head back towards the door.

Not having taken more than two steps Cartman felt Stan grab a hold of his wrist (the one not holding the drink) making him stop in his tracks.

"Wait." Stan whispered still not looking at him as he bit his lip.

Cartman frowned as he turned his head to look at him wondering why he was stopping him from leaving. Stan could just as well tell Kyle about Cartman being gay and then both of them would make fun of him tomorrow about HIM being the fag and then everyone in school would know causing him to hate his life. After all this was a good opportunity for Stan to humiliate him in front of everyone or rather it be Kyle's big moment since he's the one who'd get the most out of Cartman suffering.

"Kenny was right. There was another reason why I broke it off with Wendy." Stan said as he let go of Cartman's wrist making Cartman turn around so he could actually look at him.

Cartman waited for Stan to continue curious to hear what Stan had to tell him.

"We should probably sit down." Stan told him motioning to sit on the couch.

Cartman followed Stan's lead and sat down next to him on the couch putting his drink down on the table next to them. Stan was feeling more and more uncomfortable with each passing second as took a breath in then let it out before looking at Cartman.

"Do you remember when Mr. Jefferson and his son Blanket first moved here?" Stan asked.

Cartman frowned wondering where this was going.

"Yeah Mr. Jefferson had a lot of awesome toys in his place he became like my best friend because of that. Why?" Cartman asked.

Stan sighed.

"Well you kept obsessing over him to the point where it was starting to creep me out. Remember that night when Mr. Jefferson snuck into my room because he wanted to play and then Kyle and Blanket showed up and then you?" Stan asked watching as Cartman nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well that night after you all decided you wanted to spend the night because Mr. Jefferson didn't want to go home I…." Stan sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck, "…I had a dream about you."

Cartman felt his face flush wondering what on earth he could have possibly dreamt about that involved him of all people.

"What was it about, Stan?" Cartman asked.

Stan winced not really wanting to think about the dream but knew that he had to tell Cartman about it.

"You and Mr. Jefferson were looking at each other all googly eyed and then well…you guys kissed."

Cartman blinked having not expected THAT at all.

"Uh, Stan?"

"Wait just let me finish." Stan cut him off, "After I had that dream I was obviously disturbed for awhile, but for a second just for a second I thought…" Stan took a deep breath in then let it out, "…I thought I felt myself get jealous."

Cartman's eyes grew wide completely surprised that Stan would even feel that way at all towards him.

"What?" Cartman barely managed to get out.

"I don't even know why, but at the time I thought I was having a psychotic breakdown or something because straight people don't normally have gay dreams of one of their friends making out with an older gay guy and worse yet feeling jealous!" Stan said not even wanting to know what Cartman was thinking right now, "So I tried telling myself that it meant nothing that it was a dream that I had only because of the way you were acting towards Mr. Jefferson and not because of something else."

"Something else?" Cartman asked.

Stan sighed before looking at Cartman.

"Cartman, I have never once thought of any of my guy friends like that and all of a sudden that dream happens and it makes me wonder about how I really feel. Sure I was in love with Wendy back then but now that I look back on it I didn't really spend a lot of time with her like I did with you, Kyle and Kenny."

"Good thing too. She wasn't worth you wasting your precious time over anyway." Cartman replied and for once not feeling embarrassed that he said it either.

Stan simply looked at him not realizing he was giving him a small smile. Cartman frowned wondering why he was smiling all of a sudden.

"Why are you smiling?" Cartman asked.

Stan shook his head.

"Nothing. I'm just amazed about how right you were about her and how OBVIOUS you made it about how jealous you were of both her and Kyle. I'm sorry that I had no idea about how you felt until you finally told me."

"I DIDN'T want you to know. I was planning on keeping it to myself for the rest of my life but for some reason you decide that you want to ask me what's wrong. Why is that? I thought for sure that you hated me considering what I've done in the past." Cartman asked.

"I'm not Kyle dude. I don't see why you would think that I would feel exactly the same as he does." Stan replied.

"Because you're super best friends that's why!" Cartman retorted.

"That doesn't mean I side with him on what he thinks about you. I'll admit you've done some pretty awful stuff, but that doesn't mean I automatically have to hate you for it. I just wonder sometimes if there was a reason you did what you did before. Like if you were angry about something." Stan said looking at him worriedly, "Were you?"

Cartman flushed slightly not fully believing what he was hearing, but at the same time what Stan was saying seemed like it was turning out to be true.

"I guess I was. With the whole my mom's a slut, killing my own father, and having a fucking ginger asshole for a brother as well as feeling like no one really cared what happened to me I guess I just kinda snapped." Cartman admitted surprising himself that he was openly admitting this at all.

Stan looked at him sadly.

"I'm sorry, Cartman."

Cartman shook his head as he looked down at the couch.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not as mad as I was back then."

"I can tell."

Cartman looked up and saw that Stan was looking at him seriously. He felt himself turning red before finally deciding to change the subject.

"So uh I see the Jew isn't here." Cartman said surprised.

Stan frowned slightly.

"Yeah he's been acting really weird around me lately."

This made Cartman look at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't come over or even called. I've tried calling his house, but his mother always keeps saying that he's busy and when I try to go to his place his mom says he's not there. I've even called his cell and he's not answering." Stan said worriedly.

"That is weird. Why is Khal avoiding you? Did you two have a fight?" Cartman asked.

"No, dude and I'm starting to worry that something might be wrong. So you said earlier that he's avoiding you also?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, but that's nothing new. For some reason it feels different this time though." Cartman replied frowning.

"Kyle thinks that you're up to something, Cartman." Stan told him.

"I know he was confronting me about it a couple of days ago before you and I had that talk. I simply told him that I wasn't up to anything because he also asked what was wrong with me because he and I usually end up fighting, but lately I've been kinda dropping the fights." Cartman said making Stan look at him in surprise and completely confused.

"Why? You always used to rip on Kyle just for being Jewish. Cartman you…" Stan was surprised to find out just how much Cartman has changed, "…you're different."

Cartman smirked deciding that it was time to try and make Stan his since he already knew how he felt about him.

"Yeah? It's because I like you, Stan Marsh. A Lot. Whatever Wendy was thinking she was a complete idiot for cheating on you." Cartman told him as he leaned closer to Stan.

Stan felt his face turn a nice dark shade red not really sure if he should run away again or just sit there and let Cartman kiss him this time. He didn't have a whole lot of time to think so instead he didn't think about it and just sat there and waited. Cartman slowly pressed his lips towards Stan's until eventually they found themselves kissing each other. Surprised that Stan wasn't pushing away it motivated Cartman to put his arms around him kissing more passionately. Also surprised to find himself not disgusted by what was going on Stan continued to kiss Cartman wrapping his arms around his neck. They went at it until eventually they had to come up for air. After a few seconds Stan said in a surprised voice.

"Wow, Cartman that…" Stan said his face feeling completely hot at the moment from how red his face was.

Cartman smirked at him before responding.

"Call me Eric." Cartman told him.

Having been too busy to notice anything around them someone was standing just outside the window of Stan's house looking in with an evil smirk on their face.

Author's note: So far longest chapter that I have done for this story. I am trying so hard not to make this story very long. In fact I'm trying to do as little amount of chapters as I can to get this story done so that way I wont have to worry about finishing it later like some of my other stories. I still find it funny that my name is exactly Cartman's name except add an a at the end of Eric to get Erica which is me lol. Anyway thanks for reading as always and a special thanks to Technical Technicalities and Suhamakitten for reviewing. I always love it when I get to read what other people think of my story especially when they like it! ^_^ I'll update when I can so thanks.