A/N: I originally planned to write two more chapters. One was going to be a continuation of this and the last an M rated scene of Caskett. Due to the fact that my computer had to be sent to the shop, I ran out of time to get them written before the Winter Ficathon starts. I've decided to end the story with the next chapter, but there will be an M-rated scene insert posted as a one-shot in the near future. Keep an eye out for it. Thank you so much for all of the support and love for this story. It holds a special place in my heart! The final chapter will pick up where this one leaves off and will be posted tomorrow. All mistakes are my own.

If you've been keeping up with the ThankYouTerri Campaign, you've probably seen all of the amazing prompts that have been flooding in on our tumblr page. In thanks for the generous donations myself and the amazing ThankYouTerri team have been filling these prompts. You can check out my fill titled "Yours, Mine, and Ours" and the rest of the fills on the ThankYouTerri Tumblr page. The people involved with this Campaign are all lovely and I'm so honored to be a part of it.

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over Castle.

My Heart

"It is well known that reading quickens the growth of a heart like nothing else."

-Catherynne M. Valente

A soft breeze floats through the sunlit bedroom, whispers across her cheek like the breath of a lover. She hums and stretches out her body before allowing her eyes to flutter open. It's been a week since she officially moved into the loft and started over with Castle. One week since he forgave her and they started over. She's never been happier than she is right now.

They fell asleep with the window still open last night, the cool evening breeze a welcome contrast against their over-heated skin. It was the first time they'd fallen into bed together and made love since she got off the plane. Almost four weeks without the feeling of his skin pressed against hers and she had sobbed her relief when he finally covered her body with his own.

The memory of it makes her smile, but it also stirs a welcome feeling in her stomach. She wants him again. Her hand drifts across the sheets in search of her lover, but instead of warmth she only finds coolness. Hmm, where is he? She rolls over to find that Castle is indeed missing from his side of the bed, but the object lying on his pillow, in the place where his head should be, catches her eye. The white envelope stands out against the deep blue satin sheets.

She reaches for it, adjusting her body so that she's leaning against the headboard. Her name is written elegantly across the front and she shivers with anticipation. Castle's handwriting is beautiful, and she'd recognize it anywhere. She welcomes the goose bumps that spread across her skin, proof of her desire to read his words, even after all this time of knowing him. His words have always meant more to her, and he knows that now.

She carefully breaks the seal and slides the folded paper—well, actually papers, out of the envelope. She can't help but wonder when he had time to write this, they've spent almost every moment together since she showed up at the loft almost a week ago. She unfolds the letter and instantly loses herself in his words.

Kate,

I'm sure right now you're wondering when I found the time to write this to you. Making love to you last night was magical. Don't roll your eyes, I sincerely mean that. After our fight, I wondered if we'd ever be doing that again. I'm glad we are. I laid beside you for a long while after you'd drifted off to sleep and I don't think I've told you enough how truly beautiful you are.

I started thinking about all of the beautiful pieces of your heart you shared with me in your letters and I realized that there was still something I needed to do for you. I need to share my heart with you. The words began to form and as much as I hated to leave the warmth of your body pressed against mine, I slipped into my office to write this. I want to address each of your letters and then there's something else I need to share with you. I hope you're ready for this journey.

I thought I knew everything about your mother's murder, but your first letter showed me a side of you that I've never seen. It showed me your weakness. Let me explain. You're without a doubt the strongest person I know, Kate. You don't let anyone see your weaknesses, but part of being in a committed relationship is allowing the other person to see all of you. You don't like to let go of things you love. I love you even more for allowing me to see that part of you. And I need you to know that I don't plan on ever letting go of you.

Your second letter was more difficult to read. I knew that you saved your dad from the bottle, but we've never discussed that in depth. I never wanted to push you to open up about that topic and after reading about it I'm glad that I never did. I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone. Alcohol solves nothing; it's not a permanent solvent for pain. Or maybe that's just for me because nothing I've ever tried could wash your memory away. You will always be enough for me, Kate.

Your words in your third letter were correct. I never doubted that your love for Royce was real. I understand now though, that it was on a different level. He helped you in ways that only he could have and I will always be grateful for that. I want to say that he was crazy not to love you back, but I think somewhere deep down there was no way that he didn't love you. We grew closer while we were in L.A. and I'll always be glad that I didn't let you go alone. I don't need to read his letter to you because you did exactly what he told you to do. You risked your heart, Kate, and I promise to make that risk worthwhile.

When I read your fourth letter I admit that I was struggling with forgiving you. Roy Montgomery will always be a hero in my eyes because he saved you. He did something that I tried and failed to do. Saving you will always be my priority, Kate, no matter what. After finishing that particular letter I sat for a long while wondering if things between us were repairable. As much as I still loved you, I just wasn't sure we could get passed this. Truthfully, I never wanted to say goodbye to you. I'm glad that I didn't have to.

I read your fifth letter after filling in for Brian at The Old Haunt. He came down with the flu and I had no one else to fill in on such short notice. It was the last place I wanted to be and I carried your letter around in my pocket the entire night. When the last customer finally left, I closed the bar down and went to my office to read your letter. I admit that I was anything but sober by the time I finished it. Reading about you losing yourself was harder than I ever imagined. I still can't believe that I had any part of helping you find your joy again. It's an honor and not one that I take lightly. All I ever wanted was to be a part of your life, I'm so thankful that I got that and more. I did call you that night, but I ended the call just as fast. Hearing your voice would have been my breaking point and a late night, drunken phone conversation was the last thing that you and I needed. I slept on the couch in my office that night in hopes that nothing there would remind me of you, but you're so much a part of me, Kate. There's nothing that would make me forget you. I never want you to have to let go of yourself.

I read your last letter a little too late. I wasn't prepared for the emotional blow it was going to deal me when I finally read it. I never expected you to turn down the D.C. job; I just wanted to be a part of your decisions. I knew by the time I got to the end that you were serious about fighting for us and putting in the work to make it through. I'll never be able to describe how I felt when I opened your apartment door and found it empty. It was a small glimpse of what my life would be like without you and I knew then that I didn't want that. On my way to the airport I kept replaying what I was going to say to you, but I honestly had no idea how it was going to go if I caught you. I wanted things to work, but I was still hurting.

Finding you here when I got home after thinking that I had lost my chance blew me away. I know that I was initially cold and closed off, but I needed to know you were for sure about what you wanted. It took a lot of openness and hard conversations but we did it—we made it. You proved to me that you were willing to fight for what you wanted. I've never seen you be that open before and that was all the proof that I needed. Last night proved that to me even more.

This brings me to now. I need to apologize for keeping you at arm's length in certain parts of my life. I've always done that when it came to personal things that I wanted to keep hidden. I've been angry at you many times for shutting me out, but I wasn't being fair by doing the same thing to you. My first two marriages were nothing like our relationship. I loved Meredith and Gina but never in the same way that I love you. You treat me like an equal, like a partner and that's what I always wanted. I promise to let you in, to be honest with you and to give you all the parts of my heart as well. It's no secret to anyone that my hearts been yours since right after I met you. Anything you want to know, I will answer honestly and sincerely when you ask, always.

By now you're probably wondering where I am. I hope that I've cleared any doubts that you may have still had about whether or not I'm in this for the long run. I'd like to clear that up even more now, so that you have absolutely no doubt about what I want.

I love you, Katherine Beckett. I love you more today than yesterday and I will love you more tomorrow than today. You're the other half to my heart and my soul mate. You've been searching for a long time for your place—your North Star. If you slip on your robe and meet me up on the roof, I'm hoping you'll be able to say you finally found it.

Don't keep me waiting too long.

I love you, always.

-Castle

Her heart pounds erratically in her chest as she slips from the bed and wraps her robe around her body. Tears threaten to slide down her cheeks and she takes a deep breath to will them away. No one has ever made her as emotional as Richard Castle does and she finds that she's completely okay with that. She has an idea of what's about to happen, but the closer she gets to the roof the more nervous she gets. By the time she reaches the top of the stairs her legs are trembling and she's gripping the railing tightly to keep herself upright.

When she sees Castle her heart skips a beat and her hand clasps over her mouth. A traitorous tear slides down her cheek now and she lets it, because the emotions of what's happening are too much. He's put so much thought into this—into making this perfect for her and she wants to tell him that all she ever needed to make it perfect was him. She can't help but wonder how long he's been waiting there, kneeling like he is, and she loves him even more for it. She's imagined this moment her entire life and yet, seeing Castle on one knee, deliciously illuminated by sunlight and the breathtaking view of New York literally takes her breath away. Before he even starts speaking or reaches for her hand, her heart is already chanting; yes, yes, yes.

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