Chapter 9

She found herself back in the examination room with him and today, he had decided not to work with her. It gave her a slight headache. She buried her face in her left hand and let her fingers massage her forehead. She sighed. "You're not helping me out here." She raised her head, but kept her hand in the air. "Why can't you just…" She trailed off, spotting something on the tip of her fingers. Her eyes narrowed. It looked like her fingers had been stained with white paint.

"Something wrong there, uh, doc?" he asked and leaned in across the table in curiosity. She didn't answer, but simply brought the hand back to her forehead and rubbed it with her fingers. She looked back down at them and they were even whiter. She repeated the movement with her right hand and the same thing happened. Her heart started beating faster and her breathing became more fast-paced and shallow. "Let ol' uncle J take a look at that," he said and she looked up, but was only met by her own face, looking back at her through a mirror. She was horrified by the sight. Her whole face was painted white and there were black circles framing her eyes. But worst of all was the blood red smile drawn across her lips, matching his scars. And then he came creeping from the shadows and she saw his reflection right behind her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Now you can see yourself the way I see you… my little harlequin."

Harley jerked awake in her bed and shot straight up into a sitting position. The cold sweat was covering her face and her back. She had to look around to make sure she was safe at home. Once that was confirmed, she got out of bed and headed into the kitchen to drink a glass of cold water. Thank God it was only a dream, she thought and calmed down when the icy water slid down her throat. It was soothing and she felt like she could breathe again. But would she be able to sleep again? If only there was someone she could call. She really needed someone to talk to. But she was sure that all she'd get for calling someone in the middle of the night was a proper scolding.

She looked down at all the files in front of her on the desk. They all belonged to her patients. But her eyes kept coming back to one in particular. She told herself that now was not the time. She didn't even have a session with him today. "Dr. Quinzel?" Her head shot up, startled by the voice. It was Dr. Arkham. She hadn't noticed him coming into her office.

"Dr. Arkham," she said and cleared her throat. "Hi." There was a look of concern displayed on his face.

"Dr. Quinzel, are you all right?" The tone of his voice matched the look on his face.

"Yes," she said as if it were obvious. "I'm completely fine. I just," she shrugged, "didn't get a very good night's sleep is all." Please tell me he bought it. He didn't look very convinced, but he wouldn't dwell on it.

"Well, then I suggest you catch up on that sleep this weekend, because I need you to be here early on Monday morning. I've rescheduled one of your sessions." Now that was interesting.

"Oh, okay. Whose session?" she asked.

"The Joker's," he stated, keeping a straight face. Harley was all ears. "I know you're set to have the session at ten, but I moved it up to 8:00 AM instead." Harley didn't have a problem with it, but she would sure like to know why. As if he could read her mind, Dr. Arkham went on. "I suppose you'd like to know why I've rescheduled the session."

"Do tell." He drew in a breath and sighed heavily.

"I've told all the doctors to come here at 7:30 Monday morning to observe your session. We will be livestreaming it in the conference room just like the first time. That's why we're having it at 8:00 AM so that no doctors will have to uphold or reschedule their sessions." Harley nodded slowly, taking in the information.

"Okay, but why do you need to observe?"

"In all honesty, Dr. Quinzel…" He locked his eyes with hers and in an instant, she understood how serious this was. "We're worried about you."

Worried about me? "What, worried that I'm not doing my job right?" she questioned.

"No, of course not," Dr. Arkham quickly reassured. "We're worried because, well… You're the only doctor who's been with him for this long and we just want to make sure that he's not trying to pull any mind tricks on you." Oh, so that's what they're worried about. Her head sank and she nodded slowly again. "And also because we would like to know how it is that you've lasted so long," he added quickly as to not let her think that she wasn't good enough for the job. "You must be doing something right." He gave her a little smile which she reciprocated.

"All right. I'll be here at 7:30 then."

During the afternoon when she was sitting at her desk, her cell phone started ringing. She picked it up in her hand and looked at the display. Cassidy. They hadn't spoken since Monday and right now, Harley was in no mood to talk to her. Besides, she was working. Working with what? All you do is stare at his file. Stop making excuses! Sometimes she just wished that the voice in her head would shut up. Before she was able to answer the call though, her phone stopped ringing, but she had received a voicemail. She brought the phone to her ear and listened.

"Hey, Harls. Um, I understand if you're busy right now. I just wanted to call and say that… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my behaviour during our lunch together. It's just that… I'm worried about you, is all. And I want you to know that I'm not angry with you and I hope you're not angry with me either. You don't have to call me back, but I hope we can talk soon. Bye."

Harley put the phone down and buried her face in her hands. Why is everybody worried about me? I'm fine! She looked at her watch. 4:00 PM. Time to go home. Thank God.

She didn't call Cassidy back. Not all weekend. Harley stayed in her apartment only to go out for a short walk every now and then in hopes of clearing her head and get her mind off of things. But that was easier said than done.

Finally, Monday arrived. She woke up sometime after five, not being able to go back to sleep. She put on some extra makeup to (hopefully) cover up the traces of sleeplessness on her face. When she looked in the mirror she figured it would do. She only hoped that the others wouldn't notice anything.

She came to the asylum on time and headed to the conference room to meet up with all her colleagues. When she walked in, everyone else was already there, sitting down by the long table. Their heads turned and the looks she was met by were all but encouraging, except for Joan's, who gave her a small smile. Joan had saved Harley an empty seat next to her. Harley sat down. "Well, now that we're all gathered," Dr. Arkham said at the head of the table, "I'd like to say a couple of words." His gaze fell on Harley and the others followed suit. She shifted in her seat. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but she tried to ignore the others and just pay attention to Dr. Arkham.

"Dr. Quinzel, you should know that we're all very pleased to have you here at Arkham. We couldn't have asked for anyone better and you have proved that." She wondered whether he was telling the truth or not, given the fact that she felt the complete opposite when faced by the other doctors. "No one else in this room was able to get through to the Joker. It takes a lot of guts and you've showed us that you should not be underestimated. Yet…" He paused. "We feel as if there's been a change in you and we're not saying that it's because of him, it might be something else entirely. You just seem a little closed off these days. If there is anything you'd like to talk about, you know that we're here for you." Harley gave him a small smile.

"Thank you," she said. "I appreciate it."

"Yes," he said after a moment, having expected her to say something more. "Well, if you're ready, you can head down to the examination room. We're all very curious to see how you handle things."

"Thank you," she said again and got to her feet.

Never in her entire life had she experienced something like that before. When she got out of the room, she could breathe again. She hated having all eyes on her like that. And all that talk about her well-being? What was so different about her that everybody picked up on but not her? "Closed off" my ass, she thought. There's nothing wrong with me.

Without stopping outside, she opened the door and took her seat again, facing him. "Good morning, Mr. J. How are you?" He sighed heavily.

"Well, to tell you the truth; I'm not a morning person."

"Well, me neither, so perhaps we could try to cheer each other up?" she suggested. He didn't answer to that, but gave her a question of his own.

"Why are we here?" She blinked a couple of times, but didn't make a face. He knows.

"We're having our session," she said.

"Yes, but why now? Hmm? If I'm not wrong, session time Monday mornings are at 10:00 AM." Okay, Harley, time to use that brain of yours. Make up an excuse!

"Yes, well, we had to reschedule," she started, making things up as she went. "The patient I was supposed to have a session with now has a dentist appointment, so we just switched their time with yours." Good one, Harley. You didn't even hesitate. But even though she thought she would have been able to convince anyone with that lie, he was the one exception.

"You're lying." There was a pause again and she tried to remain calm.

"Why would you assume I'm lying?" He rolled his eyes and grunted, tired of her trying to hide it.

"You know doc, I thought this time around you would've learned that I'm not buying any kind of B.S." His voice was getting a little aggressive. She couldn't deny that she was slightly intimidated by it. She didn't want things to get out of hand.

"All right," she said, "the truth is that the other doctors want to know my methods to better understand how it is that after all this time you haven't tried to kill me." She finished with a fake smile. He seemed pleased.

"So we're being watched, huh? All of a sudden, we need chaperones?" His eyebrows shot up in that suggestive way again. Please do anything but that, she thought. It did not look good on camera. "But there's more to it, isn't there?" he asked. "They're worried about your mental health. Afraid that I'm rubbing off on you." Once the words had escaped his mouth, realization sunk in. That's exactly what they thought, but didn't dare say. "Sweetheart, the only reason you've lasted this long… is because I wanted you to."

It was as if her heart stopped. What did he just say? "No," she breathed. She refused to believe it.

"Yes," he said.

"No!"

"Yes!" He gritted his teeth. She started to feel like when she had awoken from that nightmare. This was not happening.

"Why?" she questioned. "Why did you want me to last this long?" She raised her voice, demanding an answer.

"Because, Harley…" He smirked. "You're just too much fun." She didn't get the chance to say anything else before none other than Dr. Arkham barged through the door. He wasn't looking too happy.

"Dr. Quinzel, a word please." He spared the Joker only one glance.

"Can't you see we're in the middle of something here?" he asked. "What gives you the right to barge in like that?"

"Your session is over." Dr. Arkham turned around to face an orderly; Mr. Hartley, to be exact. "Take him to his cell." Hartley pushed through and grabbed the Joker while Harley was still in her seat, watching.

"Well then, I guess we'll have to catch up next time," the Joker said and started giggling. Hartley pushed him forward and they left the examination room.

The silence was unbearable. Harley didn't dare look up, feeling Dr. Arkham's gaze burning a hole in her. "Since when did he start calling you Harley?" Now she had to look up.

"Never," she answered truthfully. Or well, almost anyway. "That's the first time he's called me that." Dr. Arkham sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Dr. Quinzel, things are getting out of hand here. Listen, why don't you take the rest of the day off?" She was about to object, but he stopped her. "No, I don't want to hear it! I know you're exhausted, anyone can tell. Just go home and rest. Please." There was that tone again. The concerned one. He was actually pleading her to go home and rest. Perhaps he was right? She wasn't sure if she'd be able to meet with anyone else today.

"Okay," she said. "I will."

A/N: Whoop whoop for a longer chapter! I really hope you liked this one! Is Harley actually starting to go insane? Stay tuned to find out. ;)