Dirty Little Secret
By: esmtz
Within an hours time Stan, Kenny, Kyle and Butters all arrived to visit Cartman in the hospital who still seemed a little groggy from having just woken up.
"Eric!" Stan cried out as he ran towards him and put an arm around him.
Cartman looked at Stan relieved that he was ok but also worried about how he was going to tell him that they couldn't be together anymore.
"It's good to see that you finally woke up, Cartman. We were starting to think that maybe you weren't going to wake up." Kenny said seriously.
"How are you feeling, Eric?" Butters asked.
"Tired mostly. I can't believe I was out for a couple of weeks." Cartman replied.
"It's no wonder dude. Your wound was pretty serious to the point that for a moment I thought that you weren't going to make it. If it wasn't for the fact that…"
Kyle quickly interrupted before Kenny could continue.
"That you're you I don't think anyone else in this situation would have made it. Consider yourself lucky fatass. It looks like you're more stubborn than what I gave you credit for to survive getting stabbed the way you did." Kyle replied trying so hard to not look or sound relieved that Cartman was ok.
Cartman snorted not really buying what Kyle was telling him but also didn't have another reason why he was alive right now so he decided to just go with it.
"So how are you guys doing?" Cartman asked looking at Stan and Kenny but mostly at Stan.
"I'm fine. I'm no longer in any pain and for the most part it's completely healed. It did leave me a scar though." Stan said as he lifted his shirt to show him.
Cartman winced when he saw the scar.
"I'm so sorry, Stan." Cartman told him sadly.
"It's not your fault, Eric. It's mine. I should have believed you when you said someone was stalking you and not only that I should have noticed that someone was following me." Stan replied lowering his shirt.
"You didn't know they were going after you."
"Neither did you."
"No but I knew that I was involved somehow. I should have just told the police that something was going on but I just figured that they wouldn't be of much help and that chances were that it was most likely all in my head. I should have taken it seriously and stayed away from you that way this wouldn't have happened." Cartman replied feeling guilty of how he handled the situation.
"Eric there was no way that you could have seen this coming. Crazy things always happen here in South Park remember?" Stan told him.
"Yeah but nothing like this. Scott's revenge was all based on the fact that I got his parents killed and then FED them to him. I should have seen this coming but I was too arrogant and prideful to realize that what I've done would eventually catch up to me. Stan this was ENTIRELY all my fault! I made Scott the way he was so there's no way that you can tell me that this wasn't my fault!" Cartman said looking at him seriously.
For a few seconds everyone was silent.
"But you're different now. You're not the same kid who hated everyone that he crossed paths with." Stan replied.
"Doesn't erase what I've done. Scott had every reason to come after me and that's why I can't forgive myself for getting close to you. Had I known or at least figured that someone was going to come after me I would have stayed far away from you!" Cartman told him looking at him with a hurt and guilty look on his face.
"Please don't say that Eric. I don't know what I would have done if you…" Stan's bottom lip trembled as tears started forming in his eyes.
"You would have been fine, Stan. You have Kyle and Kenny and besides I'm supposed to be the bad guy remember? You're supposed to hate me!" Cartman said.
This completely surprised everyone in the room.
"Why are you supposed to be the bad guy? I mean I never understood why you treated everyone the way you did and now you're telling us that we're supposed to hate you? Do you really have that low of an opinion of yourself Cartman?" Kyle asked.
"I'm surprised you of all people is even asking me that, Khal after all you're the one who hates me the most!" Cartman replied frowning slightly at him.
Kyle sighed.
"I don't hate you Cartman. Not anymore anyway." Kyle reluctantly admitted.
"What?" Cartman said totally surprised.
"I don't know if you've changed or if this is the person that you were meant to be but for some reason didn't become at first." Kyle replied.
Cartman didn't know what to say as he just laid there looking at Kyle who was turning slightly red. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence Cartman sighed before deciding he needed to talk to Stan alone.
"Hey guys? Can I talk to Stan alone please?" Cartman asked.
"Sure Cartman." Kenny said.
Cartman watched as Butters, Kenny and Kyle left the room before turning his attention to Stan who was looking at him worriedly.
"Ok first I know I said this already but I truly am sorry about what happened. I never meant for you to get hurt."
"I know that Eric. I'm just glad that you're ok." Stan replied still looking at him worriedly.
Cartman looked at him with a serious look on his face.
"Stan, you need to stay away from me." Cartman told him making Stan's eyes go wide.
"W-Why?"
Cartman sighed.
"Because no matter how different I seem I'm always going to be that kid who always treated everyone around him like dirt. Stan, you and I both know I've pissed off more than just Scott Tenorman. How many people do you think hates me and wants to get revenge? I can't have you anywhere near me in case that happens again and besides…" Cartman paused for a second before adding, "…I promised Khal that I would stay away from you if he helped me."
"WHAT?!" Stan yelled completely surprised to hear what Cartman just said.
"Stan, please it's just better this way. You could end up with someone who is way better for you than I could ever be."
"Hell no, dude! I'm not going to just leave you alone and wait for someone to attack you!" Stan said.
Cartman put both his hands on Stan's shoulders and shook him slightly.
"You have to Stan. You don't have a choice."
"I completely have a choice Eric and my choice is to stay with you!"
"You can't!"
"Why not?!"
"BECAUSE YOU DIED!" Cartman's voice went up a pitch as he felt the tears start to form in his eyes.
Stan just looked at him completely in shock.
"What?" Stan whispered.
Cartman felt the tears fall down his face as he looked Stan in the eyes and told him what happened.
"After Scott stabbed you I knocked out the two gingers that had a hold of me and then I tried to kick Scott's ass hard enough so I can get the gun that was in his pocket and that was when he stabbed me. Before he could finish me someone shot him in the head and then I went to try to see if you were ok. You wouldn't wake up and I was trying so hard to tell myself that you were ok but you weren't. You just…you weren't breathing." Cartman reluctantly admitted not even wanting to admit that to himself when that actually happened.
Stan struggled to find his voice as he saw how hurt Cartman was bringing it up.
"So then how…?" Stan started to ask as he looked at Cartman.
"I don't know. The doctor said it was a miracle that you made it." Cartman told him.
"But if I was already dead there's no way you can bring back someone from the dead unless…" Stan looked at Cartman wide eyed, "…did you do something to bring me back?"
"Last thing I remember was Khal finding us and then everything went black." Cartman replied.
"Eric, I was dead and you were still alive and all of a sudden I wake up to find that you're the one who is dying. You didn't do anything did you that maybe caused your situation to worsen and mine to suddenly get better?"
Cartman shook his head.
"If I did I don't remember." Cartman replied frowning slightly, "If I did wouldn't I be dead by now?"
Stan winced when he said that.
"You kinda did die actually. You were gone for a good few minutes that the doctor was worried that you wouldn't pull through. I was even in your room listening to that awful machine saying that you weren't breathing. Weird thing is the doctor said that you stopped breathing right at the same time that I woke up. You sure you don't remember?" Stan asked.
Cartman sighed and nodded.
"Yeah I'm sure."
Stan frowned slightly.
"Well at least we're both still here so…"
"Stan please listen to me. I don't ever want to go through that again so just please stay away from me. I'd rather have you alive and ignoring me than being with me and end up dying because of me." Cartman said looking at him with pleading eyes.
Stan shook his head and looked at him seriously.
"No."
Cartman groaned.
"Come on Stan."
"No Eric you listen. You have no proof that something like this will happen again and even if something does happen I'm not going to let you deal with it by yourself. Either way it sounds like you want to go through life alone and I won't let you!" Stan told him.
"Stan you still have friends and family who loves you!"
"So do you!"
Cartman snorted.
"Besides my mom who's most of the time out whoring herself out to guys who are you talking about?"
"Me for starters and I know Kyle and Kenny worry about you too. Why do you think we've been visiting you every single day since we've been here?"
Cartman shrugged.
"Guilt?"
Stan shook his head.
"Not even Eric. Look I know we haven't been dating for that long so I know this is going to come as a surprise especially for you but since the both of us almost died I just have to say it. I love you and I'm sorry I was never really there for you when we were kids."
The look on Cartman's face was one of complete shock and surprise as the only other person who has ever told him that was his mom but even then he always came second in her mind when it came between him and her boyfriends. He started blushing furiously as he tried to say the words out loud as well.
"I love you too Stan and seriously I doubt I would have let anyone get that close to me when we were kids anyway." Cartman said rushing the words out of his mouth completely embarrassed that he said them especially to someone who wasn't his mom.
Stan smiled at him as he leaned closer to him to kiss him. Cartman backed away slightly making Stan frown at him.
"Sorry Stan it's just I promised Khal and I'm honestly too scared that something might happen again." Cartman said worriedly.
"Nothing is going to happen I promise because one you have me, Kyle, Kenny and Butters and two I'm pretty sure Scott Tenorman was the only majorly pissed off person you pissed off. Everyone else that would be remotely mad at you doesn't even compare to that." Stan said.
"What about Trent Boyett?"
"He'll come after all of us not just you so chill."
"That doesn't really make me feel any better Stan."
"Well he won't just focus on you?" Stan said trying to make it sound better.
Cartman rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Ok fine but what about Khal?"
"Don't worry about it Cartman. I never actually made you promise that so it's fine if you two keep hanging out." Kyle said as soon as the door opened.
"Were you listening the entire time dude?" Stan asked turning to look at him.
"Sorta. Kenny and Butters went to grab something to drink and so I asked them to get me something as well." Kyle replied looking at both Stan and Cartman.
"Speaking of is something going on between Kenny and Butters? Butters has been practically clinging to Kenny for quite some time now." Stan asked looking at Kyle.
"I've been wondering the same thing myself." Cartman said.
"I don't really know. I haven't been paying that much attention." Kyle said.
"You haven't been paying attention? Wow I thought for sure with you being a Jew and all you would have been the first to notice." Cartman said.
Kyle rubbed the back of his neck and looked at him worriedly.
"Yeah I was too busy worrying about something else." Kyle admitted making Cartman frown, "Listen Cartman about what I said before I'm really sorry. I guess I just never thought of how you felt about your life and why you acted the way you did that I just assumed you had no soul. I'm sorry."
Cartman was surprised. It was really rare for Kyle to genuinely apologize to him since all they have ever done was fight and argue. In fact it almost never happened so for Kyle to genuinely apologize to Cartman it was definitely a surprise.
"Don't worry about it Jew boy." Cartman replied.
"I DO worry about it Cartman because after all of this it really makes me wonder if maybe you had…" Kyle stopped making both Stan and Cartman frown.
"What?" Cartman asked.
Kyle shook his head.
"Nothing." Kyle said remembering back when he was in San Francisco and then the time when he was attacked by manbearpig, "I'm going to go find Kenny and Butters. I'll be back in a bit."
Just as Kyle turned to head out the door Cartman called out to Kyle.
"Kyle."
The way Cartman said his name made Kyle stop in surprise and turn to face him.
"Thank you and by the way I never really hated you. I just didn't know how to talk to you other than by arguing." Cartman told him with a serious look on his face.
Kyle looked at him in surprise for a few seconds before nodding and heading out the door.
"So you think you and Kyle will get along better now?" Stan asked as he looked at Cartman with a smile on his face.
Cartman shrugged with a grin on his face.
"Who knows only time will tell."
Stan snorted.
"Yeah right I think it'll be the same just a lot less hatred."
"Probably but hey as long as I can count on you guys I think we'll be ok." Cartman said as he pulled Stan closer to him making him blush.
"Really?" Stan asked.
"Yeah. I'm really happy to hear that you still want to be with me despite the fact that you know the kind of person I used to be." Cartman said.
"I don't regret hanging out with you back then because it led us here. That and I always knew that deep down you were the one person who would end up caring the most about his friends." Stan said making Cartman blush.
"And here I thought everyone thought of me as someone without a heart." Cartman.
"Only to those who don't know you." Stan said as they both kissed.
"I love you, Stan."
"I love you too, Eric."
The End
Author's note: Finally the end of the story I didn't think I was going to finish it but here it is it's done. I hope you all liked it and for one last time I want to thank all the readers, reviewers, favorites, and story alerts that were put on this story. All of it got me inspired to finish this story and I did. I just hope you all liked it. Anyway have a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
esmtz aka- Erica (Sarah)