13.

It had been a few days since the event that I had seen my wife make use of her musical instrument once more. She had it cleaned up and repaired where necessary and she had it moved from her music room to the room which she enjoyed so very much. I suspected that this had been because the French-style room was closer to her own chamber which was now being refurbished. She had to sleep elsewhere as well, so she had taken the room with the large view of the sea.

She had brought herself a small desk there and I'd find her writing down in those wretched Japanese symbols, which she undoubtedly knew and I could see she took a liking to writing from up to down, and from right to left. She never spoke of what she wrote, but her facial features were serene and calm, so I mistook her writings to a diary notice or perhaps creations of her mind, meant to keep her calm and to soothe her bad temper. I had never seen her write before, but I assumed she had done it before in the privacy of her study, under no public's eye. Now, perhaps she assumed it was time I knew her better.

She rarely asked me now to step outside from her privacy, so I spent at least half an hour a day with her even without uttering a word one to another. I would look at the various decorations in the room, the tempesting sea or the crashing waves and the coldness of the beach, while she would write, or play her music. And then we would play our little game of questioning and I would find out that sometimes spoke with herself out loud in Japanese, while she'd know that when I had been twenty, I had proposed the first time actually to a young woman much older than myself.

'I was a very spirited fellow back then', I told her rubbing my hands together. 'Maybe that is why she seemed to have decided to shift her feelings to another. It wasn't so appropriate to have a man marry a woman much older – and by definition, much wiser - than himself.'

'Did you love her?'

I did not respond to the second question as soon as expected. 'I'm not sure. I was twenty so I am inclined to say "Yes", but considering that at that time, the sea was much more loved, I should say "Only a little".'

I looked at her, how she stood with her back against me, playing at her music instrument. Her hands were wrapped in a thin layer of bandage from the scratching she had been produced since the night of the event, when she had been forced into the strings of the instrument by Connors. She could have received proper treatment from Mr. Foster, but she refused it, claiming that the scratches would wear off in a day or two. I suspected she wished to keep them as a reminder to her for some reason.

'Do you love this place, Kayo?'

'I'm afraid, Mr. Chase, you've overstepped the number of your questions today. The game is over.'

'I would like to know it today.'

She breathed in heavily and asked coldly: 'Do you mean to say if I love this country or the other? In this case, I should say I love there more than I love here. It is very peaceful and wild there, you could hardly see a person at days' distance. People there are poor and rich, as there are here, yet the difference is not so augmented.'

'Would you rather return to the place than stay here?'

'My place is where you are, for you are my husband, Mr. Chase. Where you go, I shall follow. It makes no difference to me.'

'I'm not asking you where your place should be, woman! I am asking you where you want to be!'

'I am fine where I am now.'

'What is it you actually want, Kayo?'

I stepped up on my feet, even though the battered leg still hurt. She too stood up and seemed to be surprised at the question. The playing of the music ceased. 'I am fine with what I have, Mr. Chase.'

'When is it that you are going to call me Christopher?'

'I will not do it, because it would show disrespect.'

'It shows that you care!' I frowned at her gently, but she seemed to look at me curiously.

'Is that how it is when you call me by my given name, sir? Because Reverent Johnson does the very same thing, and I doubt he's ever shared any affection toward me at all, if ever there was no fortune involved.'

'I am not like that wretched fellow! I'm not a gold digger, woman!'

'Oh, I know you are not, sir, this was a question of affection, not of marriage purpose. Do you care for me?'

'Of course I do, foolish woman!'

'No, sir, you do not understand. Let me put it this way: Do you love me?'

'What are these words, wife?'

'Mr. Chase, you have extended the number of your questions for today, so I am inclined to do the same. And I am asking you this: do you love me, yes or naught?'

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I did, my wife opened hers once more. 'May I remind you, sir you should not hesitate. Do not give me a foolish answer, for the question is part of the game, but it is much serious. You will think it through before answering and when you have the answer, you will come to say it. If you know the answer to this question, then perhaps I shall give you the answer to yours, as to what I want.'

'What is this game you are playing at, Kayo?'

'This is not a game, sir. You've started it when you have rushed into marriage. And we have gone through much together, now the rules have changed. I am aware of the change now, but are you?'

'What are you saying?'

'I am saying nothing further. But I shall expect an answer from you.'

By evening, we dined in separate rooms and she kept playing at her instrument for a great deal of the night before heading off to bed. I considered her words thoroughly, although I did no further thinking of the matter during the remainder of the day. I could hear the song as it was sung many a times, and I imagined this woman by the bedside, in my chamber, in her white gown, staring me down wanting. It felt strange to know that I had come to realize just how intimate we had become since we've married.

I had shown her protection in the way that I knew best and I may have failed, yet I knew for certain that my feelings for her were growing instead of shrinking. She was no beauty and she wasn't any delicate creature any husband would wish for. But she was brave, loyal and mind-speaking.

I understood only then the manner of her questioning when she had asked if I loved her. There was a difference between having someone as a dear friend, protective and understanding, and another business entirely to have a husband bent on loving his wife to the deepest of its feelings, and to the fullest of his wanting. For this was what this woman had been lacking throughout her lifetime. She had been taught to be prudent, kind-hearted, giving, yet suspicious, loyal and undeceiving, brave and vertical, honorable and careless, ignorant and arrogant at the very same time, but she had not been taught how to love. She had not been taught to share or to protect at the very same time; she had not known how to give and be given nothing in return. Her will was strong, however, and bent on being taught, so she tried to do such things by herself, unknowing whether they have been done well or unkind.

I took up the makeshift cane – which now I have learned, it hid a sharpest blade – and I stood up on my feet heavily, I walked up across the hall and I tried to search for the room. I reached it and I opened it, but the room was empty. Her bed was made and her instrument wrapped up.

I took a seat at her small desk and I had her notebook in front of me. I knew that even if I tried to open it, I would not understand a word, for her writing would be Oriental.

It took her a while to return and when she did, I heard her shoes down the hall and stopping by the entrance door. 'What are you doing here?'

I turned my head to look at her and saw that she wore a white night gown as the other on the night of the incident; atop, she wore her large silky coat, which I have heard her pronounce it haori. Her black hair was straying across her shoulders wavy, curless and she smelled of incense. She had been in her study.

She came inside the room and shut the door behind her. 'Sir?'

I stood up from the chair heavily, but I turned around to face her and I asked her to come to me. She refrained from executing at first, but looking sideways confused, she frowned and walked up prudently.

'I've come to give you my answer, woman.'

And with this, I brought up my healthy hand and I attempted to touch her cheek. She looked at it from the corner of her eyes and she frowned hard, but unmoved. Her skin was fine, ivory-like, but it was cold and firm. 'Before I do, however, I should consider giving you a proper kiss. I had been hasty and irrational during our wedding vows exchange. What say you, woman?'

She looked away a little embarrassed, and did not know whether to move away or not. there was a struggle of marriage vows inside her clutching against those of independency. 'I don't know. V-very well.'

'My sweet Kayo.'

I pressed my forehead against hers and while I noses touch, we looked at each other's eyes. This was as close as I could ever have been to this woman and for some reason, her corners from her mouth raised slowly, invisibly, but definite. I kissed her firmly, deeply, showing her that I cared and showing that I was in want.

When the kiss was done, my forehead still pressed against her and I kept my eyes shut. 'The answer is this: You are more important to me than anything in this world. My will is to love you and my aim is to make you happy.'

'Will you leave me?'

'Never.'

There was silence between us, as we unmoved, attached by the bondage through our foreheads and that of our unspoken conversation. I did not wish to hold her any closer, for fear that she would remember the evil night from before that thus I would end up hurting her. Instead, I waited for her to make a movement in return, but none came except for her pressing both her hands over my chest.

'Mr. Chase, I know I have not been a proper wife to you, but I will try to.'

Before she said anything, my arm wrapped around her shoulders and I enclosed her in a gentle embrace. 'You needn't worry, I'll wait as long as it takes.'

'No, I… I know what to do. I've been thinking of it for a time. And I wished to have the chance to tell you, yet I was uncertain. I did not know.'

'And now you do?'

'Yes, I… please give me time until a fortnight and I shall give you answer by then.'

'Very well, sweetheart.'

We parted from the embrace, and my hands shook with surprise at the sudden feeling of slender and beauty she emanated. The feeling was overwhelming, yet the will was strong. I walked up to the exit, when she called in return and said: 'Please stay.'

'Are you certain?'

'Yes. There is enough space in the bed for the both of us.'

She took the night robe form my shoulders and set it aside. She then helped me settle in bed, to one side, and after this, she came by from the other side, taking off her haori and settling beside my robe. She slipped under the sheets and came hesitantly towards me. I took no care to touch her, for I knew it was still difficult to her, after the event, but she slept to one side facing me, with her hand over my shoulder.

'I am very sorry to make you wait.'

'I am in no hurry, wife. If you feel I should leave, tell me so and I will.'

'I need you here with me.'

I twisted around slowly, screeching at my teeth, but I faced her now and my hand pressed against her cheek willingly. I gave her a kiss over the forehead and we shut our eyes.

14.

The days which followed were calm and welcoming, the weather changing for the better, while the tempests of the coming summer as away and as distant as the life I had had as a sailor before I had met the woman who would be my wife.

Kayo spent the better part of her time in the study or in the wide glass windowed room, where she would write down at her notebook, or open and close over and over again the chest of her fortune. By all means, she would make certain calculations of which I was not aware, yet, as promised, I gave her the time necessary for whatever she considered necessary, until the fortnight she had promised would reveal.

She had a plan of her own and at some point, she had asked Nancy to fetch her solicitor and they had discussed a certain personal matter over and over again. As her husband, I was now entitled to the opinion and the secrets of my wife's affairs, yet I wished to give her the liberty she required, for I knew that she would keep her promise to me and she would reveal what was necessary.

On the coming of the weekend, I took a long walk through the town and I have been looked at with both admiration and gossip, yet I could not care less. I had come with Nancy while she did the necessary supply purchase, and I to visit Mr. Foster. He did not seem aware of the brawl the reverent had had with my wife, but even when he was made aware of it, his opinion had no changed of myself and my wife. If anything, he assumed it a touch a bravery and of sheer independency to her part.

Liesl visited us along with her mother on the following day and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the trouble my wife had had with the reverent had not changed the opinion of her newly-done friends of her. If anything, when I gave Kayo the present she had been given by the child, her eyes glowed with something I had never seen before, yet I could tell that it was happiness. She was glad to have received a fine gift which she kept with her all the while, whenever necessary to change the room, carrying it with her.

She thanked Liesl personally, even though she smiled little and showed her feelings as less as possible, but the child by now had grown fonder to her teacher than before.

The time we spent together grew as well. After supper, we would each sit in the same room, as I would listen to her music and I would do some reading or explore the objects of a room, so Kayo would permit me to know the house better and make a mark of what was needed to change or not. we would sometimes play our former game of questioning, and we would grow knowledgeable of each other gradually.

When the fortnight came at last, she came into the wide-glassed windowed room, where I had been staying to watch out for the sea and embrace its restlessness with my eyes. She came in slowly and looked up at the sea as well, before I noticed her presence in the room.

'Kayo?'

'I've come to tell you of my plans. And I hope you will agree, for I believe there will be done much great to us both if you do.'

'What is it?'

She gave me a rolled-up piece of parchment which – when I opened – revealed a set of mathematical calculations. I frowned at them and she smiled little. 'I believe you will not understand these numbers, will you? I've done some calculations of my own. The fortune I own. Or rather we own. And before you argue with me on this once more, here is my proposition: would you not like to return on sea once more, for a year, to see the world and start a new life with me by your side?'

I frowned to her smiling confused. 'What are you saying, woman?'

She swallowed slowly and then she bent down beside the chair I sat on. 'I am saying that we should go on a journey by sea for a year to visit the world. And when we return, we shall be better, wiser and we shall return to face new changes. I thought it through thoroughly, and I believe it is what I need. I believe it is what you need as well. You're a man of the sea and you should not be tied to the ground, if you have no liking for it for the moment. So I propose that we set sail in a few months and see the world. I believe we need a change. And I think this would be an answer to it.'

'With what ship, sweetheart? I have none.'

'I have enough money to build you a fine one, but you would not have it. So I have spoken with my lawyer and he has given me the name of one which agreed to be bought. And we will under my name. in fact, I already have. I knew you would not agree to the settlement, so I took the liberty of doing it beforehand. Are you upset?'

There were a few minutes during which I stared at the sea and I felt confused, listening to her story, yet the feeling was understanding, for this woman beside me tried her best to give us both a chance and a new start as husband and wife, while I had struggled all this time to make her happy as finely as I knew best. She too had been concerned, and thanked her for that now, for I knew she too loved me as much as I loved her.

'I am not upset, woman. I could never be upset with you, for your happiness is my aim. If this is what you wish us to do, then we shall do it. But I would rather choose my men on board the ship, if you will have me as its captain.'

'Of course. I simply own the ship, but you are the one who will guide it. Do you think it a fine plan, Christopher?'

'Aye. It is a fine one, wife.'

She took my hand in hers slowly and looked up at me. 'Will you follow me to our bedroom chamber?'

I looked up wondering at her, but I slowly stood up and she helped me stand on my own two feet, before she slipped her arm against my waist and we walked out from the room.

'If you have agreed, then we should start preparations from the following week onwards. You may do as you please with this plan from now on. The ship is mine and I am yours, so in truth, it shall be your ship.'

'You are mine, wife?'

'I wish to be. Tonight.'

And then she took my hand and we walked up to the hallway towards the room we'd often shared together in sleeping and in having our private conversation. This time, her grip was stronger, warmer and more inviting.

The End