Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well tonight.
Let me say, you all blew me away with your reactions to the last two chapters. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know that some of you may not like where I have taken the story, but I promise you all, everything thing my version of Edward and Bella do are for a reason later on in the story. Just stick around. All will be reveled next week. I promise.
This is again un-betaed, so be kind. All mistakes are all mine.
Stephanie Meyer owns all that is Twilight.
Forty-five minutes later I am cursing traffic and beyond pissed off! When we pull up in front of her building I jump out, not waiting for Felix. I am met by Jacob, Jasper, and Emmett. Paul is up at the door already trying to open it. I fill them in on everything that happened at my apartment; the letter, my doubts on the test, everything. We are broken from out conversation with Paul yells out that he got it opened.
I push past him and run up the stairs. I get to her door and start to bang on it. "Bella! Bella! Open the damn door Bella!" I yell. I keep yelling and banging for a good five minutes. "I swear to God Bella, I will break this fucking door down. Open the damn door Bella!"
A door a few doors down opens and a girl steps out, rubbing her eyes. "She isn't home dude! Stop with the yelling!" She tells me, half yawning.
"When did she leave? When did she go?" I ask, walking towards her.
"Two days ago. She came over asking my boyfriend to borrow some of his cloths, something about needing to sneak past someone."
"And he just gave them to her? You just let her go? How do you know she wasn't in trouble?" I yelled at her!
"It's Bella dude. She is always on the straight and narrow. She told us that she wanted to get past some photographers who were hounding her for pictures and an interview about her boyfriend, who I assume is you."
"FUCK!" I yell punching the wall, making the girl flinch. She retreats back into her apartment. "Paul, open her door." Instantly he begins picking the lock. In less than a minute he has it open.
I walk in and I am assaulted with her sent. I close my eyes and take it all in with one deep breath. I scan the apartment for anything that might be out of place. Everything is kept neat and organized, the way Bella likes it. "Alright, look for any kind of clue for where she might be. Be fucking careful no to mess things up or leave them out of place from where you found it, she fucking hates that." I spit out to everyone around me. "Jasper, call airports, cab companies, and bus stations. Send them a picture of her to see if they remember seeing her. Find out anything you can."
I make my way into her bedroom. I am met with the sight of her green gown that she wore to the ball. I swallow back a whimper, remembering the look on her face as she left in the car that night. That is when something catches my eye on her bed.
Walking over to the bed, I see the earrings I gave her at the ball, are laid next to the charm bracelet my dad gave, along her cell phone and lap top; all laid neatly on top of a letter. I pick the letter up, bracing myself for the worst.
Edward,
By now I am assuming that Carlisle and Esme have gotten their letter from me and you are here trying to find me. Trust me, it is better that I leave this way. I know you would try and stop me from leaving, but you have to understand that I can't be here. I can't stand by and watch you have a life with Tanya knowing that I want to be in her place.
I am not living in some kind of fantasy where you weren't with other women before me, I get that you were Edward. But, you have to understand, this goes much deeper than some ex who is trying to get you back. You are, and will always be linked to Tanya for the rest of your life through the baby.
Before we were together, it was easy for me to see you with other women. I didn't know your feelings for me, and I didn't know my feelings for you. I didn't know what I was missing, so I had a wall of protection up.
But, now that I gave my heart to you, I have nothing to protect it, and it would kill me to have to sit back and watch you with her. Knowing that she gave you your first child. She gave Carlisle and Esme their first grandchild. That the next in line for the Cullenza throne came from her...not me.
Since that first day that you brought me home and Esme fixed the cuts on my hands, I knew that I wanted so desperately to be a Cullen. And yes, you all brought me into the family and made me feel a part of all of you, but I was never truly a Cullen. Then, when you told me you love me, and you called me your world, and you made love to me for the first time, I truly thought that one day I would finally be Isabella Marie Cullen. But now...now I will never be.
I am not mad at you, and I don't hate you, or hate Tanya. It is just something that happened. I know you to well to know that you will never let that baby grow up without your last name, and without his mother having your last name so that he can take over for you as your first born. I just can't stay by and let someone else hold your hand, give you kisses, sleep in your bed. I can't do it baby.
Please, just let me go. Don't try and find me. I know you are already ordering everyone who is there with you to find me. Just, please...let me go baby. Within the next few days everyone else should be getting their letters saying good bye.
As you can see I left my earrings for you, they are too much and I can't keep them. I also left my phone behind because I don't know how to take out the tracking chip that is in it, as well as the bracelet that Carlisle gave me, because I know it has a tracking chip in it too. I took $2,000 of the money (that you didn't think I knew you stashed behind the picture frame in the bathroom). I promise I will pay it all back as soon as I get settled and find a job.
Please know, I lovedlove you, more than anything. "Hai il mio cuore, e sarà sempre così" [You have my heart, and you always will.] Take care of yourself Edward. I wish you and Tanya and that little baby nothing but happiness.
Your
Bella
I don't know how long I sat there reading and re-reading that letter, when I heard Emmett come it. "Ed man, this place is clean. She didn't want anyone finding anything."
I just hand him the letter, as he reads it, I hear his breathing pick up. "She has been in our family long enough to now how to cover her tracks Em. It is going to be hell finding her."
As he finishes reading the letter he closes his eyes, "If you weren't next in line, and there wasn't anyone else to take your place, I would fucking kill you right here man!" He says through gritted teeth. "She has always been my family too."
"I would do it myself and save you the trouble." I say hanging my head. "I fucked up, but I think Tanya is...something isn't right. Dad set up another test, this time it is being done in from of dad and I, by our doctor." I see him give me that 'so fucking what' look as he rakes his hand over his face. "I know, I know! But I will find her, no matter how long it takes. I promised mom I would." I sigh, standing up.
"We'll find her Ed. I won't let aunt Esme down." He says as he walks out of the room.
Sitting there holding on to her charm bracelet I vow that no matter how long it takes, I will have her back in my life.
BPOV
Walking the streets of New Orleans in the afternoon should have been a fun experience, I thought to myself, as I looked at all of the fun shops and restaurants around me. But not today, not for me. Today I was on a mission. I needed to find a job. With the money that I took from Edwards 'secret emergency stash' from my apartment I was able to get a tiny apartment, but my money was going to run out fast, and I have only been here about a week.
Walking and looking for help wanted signs in the tiny mom and pop style shops seemed like the best way to go. The smaller the business, the less likely my name would come up for Carlisle and Edward to find. Because, even though I told them not to find me, I knew they would be.
Caught up in my mindful wanderings, I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and I walked right into a person. "Oh gosh! I am so sorry!" I say looking up at a beautiful woman.
"No worries darlin. Lost in thought?" She asks as she turns back around, working on arranging letters on the light up sign in front of the building. I see a big sign that says Zafrina's.
"Yeah. I guess. I really didn't know where I was going anyway." I relpied.
I must have been lost in taking in the building I was standing in front of, because I didn't notice that the woman in front of me had turned around. "So, who is the guy you are running from?" She asks.
That pulled me from my gawking. I just looked at her blankly for a minute before answering. "What makes you think I am running from someone?"
"Please! I have seen far to many girls running from someone or something than I care to remember. You have the tell tale puffy eyes from crying at the most random times, you are walking aimlessly around trying to find a job that would draw the least attention to the person you were back where you came from, and to be honest, you just look...sad." She says. "My name is Zafrina." She says, holding out her hand to me.
I shake my head, damn, she really knew me in only a glance. "My name is Bella." I said taking her hand in mine. "So, this is your place?" I ask.
"Yes. I was tired of being told how to dance and what kind of dancing to do. So..." She holds up her hands gesturing to the building. "So, boyfriend troubles? Parent problems?"
"Boyfriend, well...ex boyfriend now. You dance? Is this a dance company?" I ask.
"It is a burlesque club." My eyes must have widened, because she began explaining. "I don't allow stripping or lap dances, this is a classy club. My girls, and the few guys I have, dance provocatively, but not crudely. Like and old time burlesque club. I give them a show, some singing, some dancing while they drink and eat."
"WOW! It sounds amazing." I say.
"Why don't you come in, rehearsals are going on right now. We are opening up a new show in a few weeks so we are fine tuning."
"Won't your dancers feel uncomfortable? I know I don't really like an unknown audience when I am rehearsing."
"You dance?"
"Yes, ballet, contemporary, jazz, some hip hop. I used to go to NYU for dance."
"Used to?"
"Boyfriend complications."
"Did he hurt you?"
"Yes." I see her clench her jaw. "Not physically, he would never do that...ever. He did hurt my heart though."
"Come on in, my girls won't mind." She says wrapping her arm around my waist and guiding me through the doors. "Maybe we can find a place for you. I am always looking for new talent. I can't pay much, but I can pay a little. I think you will fit in perfectly." She says as we walk in to a bass filled room.
What do you think? See, Bella is OK, and didn't hurt herself, like some believed. Let me know what you think. See you all tomorrow.