Chapter 14 - Forgiveness and Trust
The small muggle cafe Hermione took the two Malfoys to was a world away from Diagon Alley. It was plain, clean and unfussy. The staff were friendly, the other customers paid them no attention as the waitress led them to a table near the back. No whispers followed them, no turned heads and no meaningful looks.
Hermione, having been best friends with Harry for twenty years was used to receiving attention, but with Malfoy it had been a wholly different, far more unpleasant experience. He already seemed to be relaxing though. His gait had lengthened as they walked away from the Leaky Cauldron down Charring Cross Road, his back was straight and his eyes seemed to have lost their nervous anticipation.
Scorpius on the other hand, was still the same bag of nerves he'd been all morning. He sat at the chair with its back to the wall, facing the the rest of the cafe. Every time the bell rang on the door as someone walked in he jumped slightly. Both adults watched as repeatedly his eyes darted up to see another muggle enter or exit, and then back down to his lap, their own exchange of looks communicating the depth of their shared concern. Finally, after Malfoy's soothing words failed to make an impression, he grasped Scorpius's hands, brought them together between his own and began to rub them, as if warming them up. He smiled and managed to hold Scorpius's flickering gaze long enough for some of his message to sink in.
"No one here is going to kick us out, Scorp. We're safe. No one will find us here."
These words, that should never have been spoken to a child as a form of comfort, created an ache in Hermione so strong she had to look away. She still felt raw from the attack in the Quidditch shop, having barely kept herself together. She'd watched the woman approach, seen as Malfoy's expression, unshielded and loving instantly shut down as he turned to face her. Scorpius, so taciturn before, only just managing to emotionally open up, became smaller and frightened. All of Malfoy's progress with him gone in a heartbeat.
And Hermione's own heartbeat had pounded uncontrollably as she watched the shopkeeper dole out her spiteful abuse. Her own anger had risen, fanned not just by revulsion and disbelief that someone could do that to a child, but by a horrible sliver of guilt. Because Hermione had done something similar. She had also jumped at the chance to remind Malfoy of what he was, of his past, in front of Scorpius. The interview at Burbage was recent enough for the guilt to still sting like a fresh wound, but she knew now that was nothing compared to what it must have felt like to the child. Of having the shame of your families past evils hanging over you, blinding whoever you meet.
Hermione remembered the boy's small, frame, hunched over and staring at his hands as his father had left the room. Lips pursed tightly as he struggled not to cry. How many times would a child live through that without suffering lasting damage? Damage she herself had added to and perhaps had already taken root. Scorpius Malfoy wasn't crying today. Although he was looking at his father, his face was impassive, and Hermione thought his small twitch of a smile seemed to be more to reassure his dad than to express relief at his comforting words. As his father released his hands and turned away to talk to the waitress Hermione saw the smile instantly drop as once again his blue eyes flickered to the door.
She distractedly gave her own order and her gaze slid from the younger to the elder Malfoy. He met her eyes with a slight grimace and Hermione reminded herself why she was there. She had come to the conclusion that it was essential that Malfoy be filled in on the details of Scorpius's fight and flight to Harry's. The decision had been easy. Nothing about Malfoy today had suggested that he shouldn't be told about his son. He had been responsible, decisive and thankfully, completely lucid. Now she just needed to wait until they were alone.
"So, what are your other plans today?" Malfoy asked after a moment of silence. Hermione shifted as he broke through her thoughts. Was he making small talk? It was such an absurdly normal question after everything that had happened. He gave her a half smile as she cleared her head.
"Just some meetings, usual stuff." Malfoy gave a slight encouraging nod and Hermione found herself clarifying. "Well - There's a muggle psychologist coming in to give a workshop to the teachers about discipline..." He nodded and looked thoughtful.
"I've heard there's been a renaissance in the more traditional methods. String 'em up by the ankles, chaining wrists to the ceiling. That kind of thing usually works for me and Scorp, doesn't it?"
The laugh that burst from Hermione seemed to catch them all unexpected. Malfoy's earnest expression of mild interest broke into a slightly surprised grin and he brought his hand up to ruffle the back of Scorpius's hair, who smiled falteringly. The moment seemed to dispel some of the tension and Hermione felt herself relaxing.
"Yes exactly. I've got a excellent selection of oiled chains and for the particularly naughty students there's always the choky..." Hermione raised her eyebrows in a gesture of solemnity and ignored Malfoy's confused frown as she watched Scorpius. It was a gamble but to her delight and relief he glanced at her and grinned. It was looking like Scorpius Malfoy's muggle pop culture education was surprisingly extensive. She winked at him.
"Excuse me, but what is a choky?" Malfoy drawled. Scorpius turned to his dad. Hermione had to hide her smirk behind her hand as he gave a perfect performance. His patient explanation was a perfect mimicry of what she was discovering of Malfoy's own dark, dry humour. He was like a small, sweet version of Draco.
"Father, the choky is a tiny, dark, scary room that's full of spikes so you can't lean against the wall. It's where kids are kept for a few hours if they're bad. You get them in most muggle schools."
"Right." Malfoy drew the word out as he regarded Hermione levelly.
"Yes, it's perfectly true. Muggles really are the experts when it comes to methods of discipline. I had mine installed last week," she managed to deadpan before meeting Scorpius's eyes. Her mouth quirked in a barely suppressed smile and then they both burst out in laughter. Malfoy rolled his eyes.
"Let me guess, a muggle reference that of course I won't get." He said, patiently.
"It's from Matilda! It's a movie I watched round Jakes last year. Even though, we're kinda too old for it, but it's really good! It's about a girl who has a horrible muggle family. She discovers she's a witch, learns how to do magic just from looking at stuff and then gets revenge on them! You'd like it Father. She'd be a Slytherin," Scorpius said, as if that settled it. Hermione noticed he hadn't even checked the door once during this speech.
"A child learning to control her accidental magic wandlessly?" Malfoy asked slowly, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah! And she's got an evil headmistress who locks kids up in the choky, even when they've done nothing wrong -" Hermione met Malfoy's eyes as Scorpius started to warm to the topic. He mouthed 'thanks' at her with a small smile.
"-and then she goes to Miss Trunchbull's house in the middle of the night and -"
"Hey! Don't tell us the whole plot! I might want to watch it!" Malfoy interrupted. Scorpius bit his lips and grinned at his dad as the waitress came over carrying their teas.
There was a moment of silence as they were passed around and when she was back out of earshot Malfoy leant in conspiratorially and spoke in a low voice.
"Muggles certainly do have a incredible imagination, don't they?" Scorp nodded earnestly. Hermione cocked her head and unconsciously brought a hand up to run her fingers through her hair.
"They certainly do," she said gently and Malfoy pulled back and regarded her intently. He frowned, opened his mouth and then bit his lip. Then he spoke slowly, dropping his gaze down to stare at the teaspoon he was turning around in his hands.
"Muggles are... surprising to say the least." He paused, "It's certainly easy to underestimate - what they have achieved. And their ability -" He put down the spoon and looked away awkwardly. It was a strange, nebulous admission. He sounded as if he were speaking his thoughts, and they were still half formed and intangible. Certainly not designed to achieve any concrete reaction.
Hermione found herself slightly taken aback. This time however, not necessarily out of shock that Malfoy could hold less than terrible views on muggles, (for she was getting used to that,) but how relatively unprompted he had been to share his thoughts. She had assumed at Harry's barbecue it was the potion overdose that had caused his honesty, but perhaps it was more innate than that.
She thought back to what Harry had said that night. Who did Malfoy have to talk to? To share those unnerving thoughts that enter the mind and throw into question everything one has been taught? Hermione felt herself soften further to the man and when he raised his eyes back to hers she gave him a small smile. They held each others gaze for a moment, and Malfoy suddenly seemed to shake himself.
"That all sounds fascinating. Muggle discipline lecture." He leant back in his chair and his voice had returned to it's loud confident drawl. "What other interesting events are happening in the day of Headmistress Granger?" If in doubt, return to the tried and tested Malfoy drawl, Hermione thought. She sighed, feeling a slight swell of disappointment.
"Well, later this morning I've got a meeting with an older gentleman... He's thinking about leaving Burbage some money in his will. I've got to try and convince him we're worth it." She made an involuntary grimace as she took a sip of tea and Malfoy smirked, completing the transformation back to his old self. "Go on, what's so funny?" Hermione asked, tiredly.
"I just can't imagine you trying to butter anyone up. Must be excruciatingly awkward."
"Well, I'm confident that showing him the school, what we do and what I'm planning on doing will be enough." But Malfoy was shaking his head and his narrowed eyes looked amused. "Don't you think?"
"I know enough to know you need to do more than that... I spent many thrilling childhood holidays being dragged by my father on deals to observe how things worked, meeting potential partners and being used as fodder to secure - clients. The more charming and precocious I was, the more likely my father was to succeed." His voice was nonchalant although his smirk had turned slightly sour. "Squeezing money out of rich old purebloods was one of his favourite things to do. Believe me, it takes more than just the facts to gain someone's favour."
"But this man isn't a pureblood. He's a muggleborn who made his fortune in the muggle world."
Malfoy shrugged. "Rich old men are all the same. Appeal to his ego and pride, how much you admire what he's done and especially how important his donation would be to you personally." He laughed slightly at her distasteful expression and Hermione felt herself begin to blush. She wasn't that naive, she just wasn't used to hearing it spelled out like this. Malfoy leant in and rested his elbows on the table, fixing her with a look. His voice was low and cajoling.
"Come on Granger, surely you couldn't have got to where you are without at least giving into your dark side on occasion. I'm sure you've got one in there somewhere." Hermione felt the heat climb further up her cheeks and she broke eye contact. Though almost immediately she berated herself for becoming so easily flustered. Malfoy shouldn't be having this effect on her. Not again. She collected herself, hoping he hadn't noticed and leant back, flashing him a cool smile.
"You believe what you want, Malfoy. I'm not about to share those secrets so readily." He chuckled approvingly and to her slight alarm Hermione found herself pleased. She hurriedly checked her watch. She was running out of time. At this rate she'd need actually pull Malfoy away to get him on his own. However, it wasn't like she was having a bad time... She glanced back up and saw he was still watching her. Apparently he wasn't done with the conversation either.
"How did you achieve Headmistress so young anyway? It's a massive achievement. I'm picturing dodgy back room deals, big bribes, favours, extreme name dropping," Malfoy deadpanned. Hermione smiled and winked at Scorpius who had just looked up from drawing on his napkin.
"Yeah, all of that, of course. Well I joined Burbage about seven years ago as the Transfiguration teacher."
"Transfiguration? I'd have pegged you for Arithmancy."
"You know my favourite subject?" she asked before she could stop herself. Malfoy frowned.
"Well, coming consistently second to someone does cause a slight, interest to develop in their marks..." he said, slightly awkwardly. Hermione saw Scorp trying to hide a smile in his teacup.
"Well - yes. It's not the field I'm most passionate about, but I was frustrated in my old job and was pretty keen to get to Burbage."
"And before that?" he asked. Hermione hesitated. Was he really interested, or was this just the 'appeal to the ego' part of buttering up someone in power? He had certainly been attempting that earlier today and she'd rather hoped they were past that.
He seemed to read her thoughts however. "No, I'm genuinely curious. I always assumed you, Weasley and Potter would be Aurors out fighting dark wizards. Things haven't turned out for you lot as I expected." Hermione took a long sip of tea as she thought about how much to tell him. That period in their lives had been so confusing and difficult it was hard to know how to condense it. She began to talk slowly.
"Well, things certainly started out that way. Harry was the first to drop out of Auror training. Broke up with Ginny, came out. He'd disappear for weeks at a time, into the muggle world I think. Things - weren't great for Harry." To put it lightly. She paused and took another drink of tea. "It put a massive strain on all of us, particularly Ron. Eventually we broke up. It all made me realise he wasn't who I wanted him to be, and I wasn't what he wanted either... Sorry, that's irrelevant." She frowned and looked away. She hadn't meant to talk about her failed relationship but it had been such a massive part of her life back then it was hard to avoid. Malfoy probably couldn't care less about all that.
"No don't worry. I have to admit, I kind of assumed you'd be married with a bunch of mini Weasels. I mean, Weasleys, sorry," he said with a grin that made his apology sound about as insincere as possible. She smiled grimly.
"Well I know that's what he wanted. But not me. That whole thing with Harry and then with Ron made me question a lot of things about myself. I realised I didn't want to carry on fighting, it wasn't making me happy..."
"So you...?" he prompted
"Dropped out, got a job at the newly revamped Muggle Relations Office and amongst other things began to lobby the Ministry for change. At that time harming a muggle with magic still carried a far lesser sentence in Azkaban than doing it to a witch or wizard."
"And you changed that?" He actually looked impressed.
"Yes. Well no, our team did. Though it wasn't all victories. Eventually I got bored of the bureaucracy and politics and decided that working at Burbage High was the most direct way to help muggleborns." Her voice began to pick up speed and expression as she became more comfortable. "It was always my ambition to be Head. There's so much potential at the school that it's not reaching. The students are so talented in their own way, and I know how much they can achieve if we allow them to. I know I'll be the one to turn that around." Malfoy's eyebrows were slightly raised and suddenly Hermione became aware at how arrogant she had sounded. "I mean, I hope I can, I've got a lot of help, and of course I never expected to be made Head so young" she added. Malfoy frowned.
"No, don't put yourself down. If that was your ambition and you've achieved that then you should be incredibly proud. And if you know you can change things, then don't pretend to ashamed of that belief. When have you ever failed at anything? You've earned the right to make announcements like that." His grey eyes stared directly into her's and she found herself momentarily lost for words. A part of her knew she should be questioning his sincerity, but somehow she couldn't manage to. She felt herself smile. Malfoy's eyes flickered to her mouth and then he was smiling too. It was not his usual self aware smirk but genuine and spontaneous. A smile that touched his eyes and served no purpose other than to express his pleasure that she had not rebuffed his words.
Scorpius stood suddenly and announced he was going to the bathroom. Hermione blinked, the spell with Malfoy broken, and suddenly realised with a nervous flip of her stomach that this was the moment she had been waiting for.
"Are you okay?" Draco asked his son. He received an eye roll in return.
"Yes, father. I'm fine. You don't need to hold my hand to go to the loo."
The adults watched him go and Hermione leant forward and began to talk quickly before the wizard could speak. The quicker she could get this out in the open, the better.
"Malfoy. Yesterday evening Scorpius turned up at Harry's house-" but he frowned and interrupted her.
"I know, I know -"
"No, please let me finish. He turned up, incredibly distressed. He was hurt and covered in bruises. He told Harry he'd been in a fight with some muggles." Malfoy went very still, and even though physically nothing changed, Hermione felt like she could see the shock in his eyes. She looked into them and forced herself to continue, telling herself that this was the right thing to do. "He was very scared, scared to go home. He also told Harry not to tell you any of this. Scorpius is incredibly worried about you, Draco, he thought that this would be too upsetting for you to hear. It's why he went to Harry, I think." She stopped talking and waited for him to break his silence. But he didn't. He could have been a statue. She took a deep breath, and continued to talk.
"I don't believe in keeping parents in the dark about things like this. Scorpius may believe that he's got to suffer with this alone and he's got it in his head that he has to protect you, but that isn't how it should be for a child." She paused, not wanting to overstep the mark. She wanted to say so much more, really shake it into him, to get him to understand his responsibility and that nothing like this could ever happen again. Not Scorpius getting in trouble - kids would always find themselves in dangerous situations, but that he felt more comfortable talking to strangers about it than his own father.
But even after the change she had witnessed in the wizard today, he was still Malfoy and she knew better than to outright disparage his parenting ability. It would be particularly patronising coming from a person with no children of her own. She continued to speak, this time more gently.
"Sometimes in my work I meet children that grow up too fast and try to shoulder so much eventually it breaks them. If there's another option, another way, then I make it my job to ensure it happens." To stop what happened to us, happen to the next generation. To what had happened to her. The distant strained relationship she had with her own parents was not one she wished on anyone.
At her words the spell over Malfoy was broken and he winced, slowly bringing his hands up to grip his jaw. He shut his eyes. Hermione worried she had gone too far, explained too much too quickly and overstepped their boundaries. But when he spoke she was relieved to hear he was not angry.
"Thank you. Thank you for telling me this. You're right. Of course." His voice shook slightly from behind his hands as if he couldn't quite reconcile what emotion to inject into it. He opened his eyes back up and gazed at the witch.
"You should take Scorpius back to see Al and James. Don't be angry with Harry. I don't think he'd decided not to tell you. It just would've taken him a bit longer to realise what I did. He probably sees a lot of himself in Scorpius and ever since we were kids Harry's always wanted to deal with things alone." Draco nodded and brought his hands down and placed them calmly on the table.
"I was. I am. Planning on taking Scorp over I mean." He said. Hermione nodded again, and automatically began to drop her hand to rest on his. Halfway down she caught herself and veered to her teacup. Luckily Malfoy hadn't noticed. She spoke slowly now, trying to get him to understand what she was inferring through the words, but didn't have quite the courage to say.
"No one should have to suffer with their problems alone. Scorpius, nor you. Harry isn't just offering Scorpius a place of sanctuary and friendship, but to you too." And I am as well. Malfoy's eyes dropped from her's just as Scorpius walked back from the loo. He sat back down at the table and in turn took in his father who was staring silently into his tea and then gave Hermione a small questioning frown. She sent him a small smile and a mental apology and stood up to leave.
"I need to get back. Scorpius, Draco, it's been a pleasure. Scorpius, I'm sure I'll be seeing you around before the end of the holiday. I'll send over my owl this evening. You can borrow her for as long as you need." She gave them both one last nod, turned to leave and was nearing the door before she felt a hand grip her shoulder. She turned and found Draco gazing at her with that now familiar intensity.
"I need to thank you, Hermione." He spoke quietly and with complete seriousness. Gone was any veneer of arrogance, of disdainful amusement. His face was clear and open. She smiled, warmth spreading from her heart, despite the solemnity of the situation. She knew instinctively that she had made the right decision.
"There's no need to thank me, honestly."
"No, there is. Thank you for trusting me. No one has, for a long time. Thank you for today, for it all. After everything." His voice was deep and the simple words were weighted a hundred hidden meanings. She understood and nodded.
"I'll see you soon." The sentence was generic enough but the resulting small smile that came to Malfoy's lips was anything but.
"Yes, I would like that," she said with a smile of her own.
They parted, and Hermione walked away. In spite of everything that had happened she felt more light and full of optimism in that moment than she had done in a long time.
Draco didn't sit back down after Miss Granger left but instead jerked his head in the direction of the bathroom. Scorpius felt the near constant feeling of unease he'd had all day return in a rush and pool in his stomach into something far more tangible: dread. He knew! Harry must have told her and she just told him. Scorpius tried to swallow the bitter, metallic tang that had flooded his mouth and stood up to follow, feeling as if weights were tied to his feet. How much does he know? How angry will he be? Draco didn't meet his eyes until the split second before they Disapparated in one of the toilet stalls. What Scorp imagined he saw there made him want to sink into the ground, but it was too late and within a flash they were back up on the roof of their building.
They were nearly at their floor when they turned a corner on the staircase and saw Dan, one of boys who'd been on the job yesterday with him. Scorpius froze and felt the familiar, now horrible, pulse of adrenaline shoot through him. But Dan wasn't his enemy. Scorpius had escaped yesterday, run because he'd been able to get away, any of them would have done the same. They wouldn't blame him for abandoning them, would they? Dan passed him with barely a muttered hello. This was bad. Scorpius frowned and looked at his father who was watching him silently.
"Father, I need to -"
"No. You are coming home with me, now."
"Please! Please, I need to talk to him."
"Is this about yesterday?" Scorpius blinked and nodded slightly. Draco sighed and rubbed his eyes before dragging his hand over his face. Scorpius held his breath. "Fine. If you are not back home within the next two minutes I am coming to find you. You will talk to your friend, then come home immediately. Am I clear?" The boy nodded, unable to find his voice. Draco turned and continued down the stairs and Scorpius ran up the opposite direction.
"Dan!" The older boy stopped and turned back a few steps above him. Scorpius felt absurdly small as he craned his neck to look up at him.
"You alright Shawn?" Dan said. Scorpius shrugged and waited for him to say something about yesterday. But he didn't and had began to turn back around. What? Surely he has something to say to me?!
"You alright?" Scorpius repeated, lamely. He wanted to apologise for running off, but couldn't find the words. The older boy snorted.
"Not really."
"How are the others?"
"So. You heard about our little attempt on Mr Bhullar? What a fuckin' mess." Scorpius didn't understand. He had been there, what was Dan talking about?
"Is Callum okay?" The older boy snorted and shook his head.
"It's bad man. Callum had to go to A&E and then they still nicked 'im. And Craig too. They got 'em for attempted armed robbery and Callum's gonna get GBH cos he fuckin' stabbed some bint and that. She had to go to hospital too, there was so much blood man, it was messy. It was only gonna be a quick job. Run in, grab stuff, run out. I dunno know what Callum was playing at." Scorpius swallowed. Hearing it out loud like this brought it all crashing back home again. "Yeah he's fucked alright. The only reason why I'm out is cos I didn't have a knife like the others." The boy shook his head. "It's too close man. Gotta go back to the station tomorrow, me mums sayin' she's gonna fucking kill me, social services are gettin' involved seeing as I'm still a kid an all that. It's fucked. You know, you's lucky."
The older boy gave an aggressive snort of laughter and Scorpius opened his mouth to apologise. But Dan got in there before he could spit it out. "Callum was talkin' 'bout gettin' you in the other day. Thought you'd be an asset on the job. Being as how small and fast you is. Couldn't find you anywhere though. Looks like you got away easy." Scorpius felt his mouth drop open.
"But - But - I was there!" He squeaked.
"Where? Callum said he looked for you, but you weren't at home."
"No, I mean, I was at the shop! I came on the job!" The look he received was of exaggerated confusion.
"Nah mate, it was just me, Craig and Callum," Dan said slowly.
"I - I was the lookout." Scorpius whispered.
"Whatever man, I always knew you was weird. Anyway, I gotta get back. See ya later." And with one last shake of his head he was walking up the stairs, leaving Scorpius reeling. He stared at his retreated back, unseeing. What was going on? Did Dan honestly think that he had never been there? And did he not even remember the evening before, when they'd sat round in Callum's bedroom planning it?
Scorpius made it back down the stairs in a daze, his thoughts in a tangled disarray. His mind seemed unable to process what had happened. How did someone just forget something like that? And what about the others?If Dan had no memory of him being there then what about Callum?
Scorpius leant against the wall outside his front door and closed his eyes, attempting to calm the chaos of his mind enough to try and make sense of what was happening. He forced himself to think about the events of the day before. Something he'd been studiously avoiding all day. Suddenly he remembered - his accidental magic! Perhaps he had memory charmed them as well? But, that was just too ridiculous, it wouldn't be possible...
His eyes snapped open and everything seemed to slide into place. It was him! That strange, watching man: the wizard. It must have been him. Scorpius had seen him earlier in Diagon Alley. He'd been standing in the shadow of a shop further up the street and watched them get kicked out of the Quidditch shop. Scorpius had always known at the back of his mind that he must have been a wizard, and now there was proof. But what was his interest in Scorpius? And what did he have to gain from wiping the evidence that he had been involved in the crime?
He had assumed the man was an enemy, but helping him out like this didn't make sense... A thought entered his mind that was so welcome and comforting he accepted it eagerly. Maybe he was - a friend? Perhaps what Scorpius had originally interpreted as stalking was actually the man watching over him? Maybe yesterday he'd somehow known he was in trouble! Earlier, when he'd noticed him spying on them in the street, maybe the creepy smile had actually been a smile of reassurance as he checked up on Scorp.
A tiny breath of hope flickered within his chest. If his mates had forgotten about his involvement, then maybe the shopkeeper and the men that grabbed him had been memory charmed as well? And the police may have never been told... Maybe he wasn't going to get caught... And the Aurors would never come for him! The thought gave him such an unexpected blessed relief he felt like he would float away. The heaviness he had carried around since yesterday afternoon was lightening into nothing.
So wrapped up in these thoughts Scorpius had completely forgotten about what was waiting for him at home. He opened the front door and the sound of his dad's quiet voice brought it all crashing back down.
"I need to talk to you." Scorpius slowly turned on the spot and saw his father sitting on the sofa. The man gestured towards himself and he walked slowly over, still feeling numb and strange with shock at what he'd just discovered. To his enormous surprise his father held out a hand and took one of the boy's hands in his own. He pulled him down to sit next to him. Scorpius raised his eyes slowly and instead of the anger as he'd been expecting he saw - sadness? It was even worse. That was exactly what he'd wanted to avoid. He'd trusted Harry with his secret and now his Dad knew, and he would go back to bed, and not get up again, and take those drugs, and - He blinked, trying to focus on his dad, becoming aware that he was talking to him and using that solemn tone that was only ever used in serious moments.
"Scorpius. Whatever you tell me, I promise you I will not disappear into that bedroom again. I swear it." It was almost like he read his mind. But Scorpius knew there was a big difference between those words and what ended up eventually happening anyway. "No matter what you've done, or who you've become friends with, what you've become involved in, I want you to know that I will always love you. Do you understand? Nothing you could tell me would shock me and I will love you just the same."
Slowly Scorpius raised his eyes back to meet his father's and saw that a look of determination had replaced the sadness. He nodded, to what - he wasn't sure; the words had barely penetrated through the hazy film of shock. There was too much happening at once, too much to take in. He had just found out he was free, but now he was meant to tell his dad about the knife, how they'd targeted an electrical shop, about Callum and the girl who'd bled so much she'd had to go to hospital? Was he supposed to be saying the truth? He knew His father may still love him if he knew, but he would never love him in the same way again. He couldn't risk it. And Scorpius cared about his opinion too much for that. Loved him too much to jeopardise his recovery.
"I don't want to hear a story, Scorp. Please tell me what's going on with you. I feel like I'm losing you. And that's not your fault. It's completely mine. Help me make this better." His dad lifted his other hand to his son's chin and pulled his face gently back towards his own. Draco was smiling gently and it made Scorpius's heart twinge in guilt.
"I never thanked you for looking after me the last few days. Thank you. Thank you for making sure I ate and drank water, and for bringing me Harry's letters." Scorpius nodded and forced out a smile. It felt like a grimace. "Now, you need to let me look after you. I'm so sorry about last night. There's absolutely no excuse for what I said about you and Harry. I'm completely ashamed. Especially since - since you went to him for help." His voice was wavering slightly. "I want to be there for you next time. Next time you're hurt and you need me. I will be there for you. Do you understand?"
The boy nodded again, just to show that he had heard. "I can see I've got a lot of proving myself to you and that's what I expected. Malfoys should expect a lot, and once someone loses your trust and respect, it takes a lot to get it back, maybe not ever. That's what my father always told me anyway."
Scorpius let out a deep breath and sensed that his dad was coming to the end of his speech and would expect him to start talking soon. "I'm going to be doing everything I can to get your trust and respect back. If you can, if you trust me even a little, tell me what's going on, because nothing you say is going to send me back into that room." His dad's eyes were serious and full of warmth and Scorpius felt himself break apart a little as he started spinning the lie. His heart began to pound hard in his ears as if it couldn't take the strain.
It had just been a fight with some muggle boys on a rival estate, an older brother had been involved and restrained him and that's where the biggest bruises had come from. He'd provoked the fight because he had been angry at not being able to see Teddy again and at everything else. He even falteringly threw in an admission of shoplifting food to assuage his guilt over lying, but immediately regretted it at the grimace that flashed over his dad's face. He dropped his own in shame and stared at his hands, unable to look his father in the eye any longer, hating himself.
Before he knew it he was being pulled on to his dad's lap and into a hug. At least there with his head over his father's shoulder he didn't have to school his face so carefully when he heard the words 'I love you.' Hot, guilty tears were rubbed away before they could fall into his dad's shirt. But it was done now. The worst was over. And now he was sure that mysterious wizard really was friend then no one would ever find out the truth.
A/N - I'm just writing this to let you all know that I will not be as updating as regularly as usual in the near future. :( :( :( Summer is here and this means that my weekends are being commandeered by pesky things like music festivals, holidays and social events... I know I can't complain, but weekends are when I do the majority of my writing I am v sad at having make do with scraping an hour here or there. It was a big struggle to find the time this week to get this chapter to a point where I was happy to publish it, but i sooo wanted to get it done before I go to Glastonbury this week, (as I know I'm gonna be pretty zapped creatively for a while in the weeks after...)
The story has come naturally to the end of what I could call part 1. I really need to spend a good amount of time planning out the future chapters and really pin down exactly what is going to happen, so I think a break will be good. Although of course I know how things will end, at the moment, I seem to change my mind day to day about the journey the characters will take to get there. If anyone has any ideas/advice about my writing or story I would love to hear them. Also any comments or (constructive) criticisms on the story so far. xxxx