A.N. Since I used McGucket for the chef I decided to use Irish in place of French for the song.
Soos had woken up from his faint only to see Chef McGucket continuing dinner preparations. Soos decided that the best thing to do would be to remain hidden.
Chef McGucket started singing as he continued the preparations:
An t-iasc, an t-iasc
How I love an t-iasc
Love to chop and to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Oh mo yes, i gcónaí blas delicious
An t-iasc, an t-iasc
Hee hee hee, haw haw haw
With a cleaver I hack them in two
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried
God, I love little fishes, don't you?
Here's something for tempting the palette
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash off their skin
Give their belly a slice
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause it makes it taste nice
Freaked out, Soos changed his mind and decided to make a break for it. He used a piece of lettuce to cover himself but McGucket saw the lettuce and picked it up. Soos quickly hid his head so that wouldn't be chopped off.
"Oh aon, I have missed one!" He said before going back to singing.
Mo maitheas, what is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab
Cad le náire, what a loss
Here we go, in the sauce
Now some flour I think just a dab
Now I stuff you with bread
Don't worry, 'cause you're dead!
And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot!
Too-ra-loo mo iasc
Beannacht
Soos quickly grabbed the edge of the pot before he could fall in and a hot bubble sent him back onto the counter. McGucket heard him land and turned around with confusion. He then picked up Soos with a two-tined fork.
"What is this?" He frowned.
Soos pinched his nose, causing McGucket to drop him. He then ended up landing on the handle of a pan and McGucket tried to grab him...but only burned his hand. Soos ended up on the floor and so did the pan, which landed on McGucket's foot. Angry, McGucket grabbed a bunch of knives and tossed them at Soos, who hid under the table. McGucket looked under there only for the bowl of sauce to land on his head. Soos had climbed the table when McGucket wasn't looking. Losing his temper, McGucket grabbed a cleaver and attacked, but only chopped the table in half. He then saw Soos skittering away and tossed the cleaver at him. It missed, and Soos, frightened, turned around and skittered under McGucket's legs to hide in a giant cabinet. McGucket pounced on the cabinet with a scream.
In the dinning room, everyone overheard crashing and other sounds.
"I think we'd better go see what McGucket is up too..." Susan said awkwardly as she pulled Chris towards the kitchen.
"I'm getting tired of that insane cook..." Chris muttered.
In the kitchen, everything was topsy-turvy. McGucket was on his knees searching for Soos.
"Come out you little pipsqueak and fight like a man!" McGucket growled.
"McGucket!" Susan snapped.
Startled, McGucket stopped and saw Susan glaring at him. Chris facepalmed.
"What are you doing?" Susan scolded.
"I..well I was just...I'm sorry madam." McGucket said awkwardly.
With a glare, Susan and Chris grabbed the platters that held dinner and carried them into the dining room.
"You know Mabel, Dipper, perhaps our young guests would enjoy seeing the sights of the kingdom." Queen Pines said as Susan served the meal. "Something in the way of a tour?"
Mabel was lost in Mermando's eyes while Dipper couldn't take his eyes off Wendy.
"Huh? Oh I'm sorry mom what was that?" Mabel snapped out of it.
"You can't spend all your time moping after some dream guy." King Pines whispered to her. "You need to get out, do something, get a life."
Meanwhile Mermando spotted Soos on Queen Pine's plate as she lifted the cover. Fortunately, Queen Pines didn't notice her crab since she was paying attention to her husband and daughter instead. Soos gestured for Mermando to be quiet, who gestured for Soos to go onto his plate. Soos skittered onto Mermando's plate, Wendy being the only one who noticed. Dipper saw Wendy looking at something, but when he turned to look Soos had already been hidden by the cover on Mermando's plate.
"Okay...that's actually not a bad idea." Mabel agreed. "If he's interested. Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom?"
Mermando nodded enthusiastically.
"I'd love to take you on a tour of the kingdom as well, if you would like to." Dipper agreed to Wendy.
Wendy shook her head.
"Oh...maybe a tour of the castle instead?" Dipper said.
Wendy nodded. She wanted to leave Mabel and Mermando alone to give them a better chance of ending up together.
"Okay then. I can show you my favorite room tomorrow." Dipper smiled.
"Wonderful!" Queen Pine's smiled. "Now let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate."
She then looked down confused since there wasn't a crab on her plate. She wasn't the only one who didn't get to eat a crab (Susan had to grab something else from the kitchen for her), Mermando and Wendy didn't touch their plates too. Dipper and Mabel guessed that they didn't like seafood (Mermando and Wendy confirmed it with a nod) and so had McGucket make something else for them instead.