Chapter 32: Seeds of Doubt

"Ash!"

"Huh?" Ash looked up from his position on the ground. In the heat of the brief battle, he forgot that Dawn stayed behind to keep an eye on them.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her eyes filled with worry.

"Ungh," Ash grunted, slowly standing up. "I'm fine. I – UH!" He suddenly stumbled, falling forward. Dawn caught him in her arms and stood him back up.

"Are you sure?" she asked again, still worried.

"Uhh," he moaned. "Yeah, I'm okay. It's just...the transformation takes a lot of energy when you haven't mastered it."

Dawn blinked. "You haven't mastered it? I thought you and Greninja –"

"Greninja and I have mastered it," he explained, then pointed towards his unconscious companion. "But Sonic...he hasn't mastered it yet." They walked over to him. He was out like a light. "It was too much for him."

"Will he be okay?" she asked a third time.

Ash looked at her with a smile. "No need to worry, Dawn," he said softly. "He's just exhausted." He exhaled heavily. "And so am I." He leaned down to pick up Sonic, but Dawn stopped him.

"If we need to carry him, I'll do it," she said. "You're tired. When we get to Old Ferrum Town, you're taking a nap right away."

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted her. They chuckled as they picked Sonic up and brought him along. As they walked, Ash rubbed his arm, wincing slightly.

"Ash?"

"It's nothing," he said, uncovering his arm. A small scab had formed where he got nicked by the small ice shard. "Just a little cut, that's all."

"Did it bleed?"

"A little."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, still worried. "You know, sometimes I think you're too strong for your own good."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, stopping a moment to look her in the eye.

"You're so self-sufficient. You're always taking care of yourself. You never need advice in a Pokemon battle. Don't you ever worry about becoming too self-sufficient?"

Ash listened to her, then smiled softly. "I see what you mean, Dawn. But the truth is, I haven't always been so self-sufficient. When I first started my journey, I thought I could be."

"No kidding, right?" Dawn snickered as they walked along again.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Every time I thought I could do things on my own, I got stuck in a scrape, and Misty and Brock had to bail me out. Eventually, I stopped trying to act like I could do everything on my own." His smile became nostalgic. "Ironically, that was when I really started to become independent."

Dawn smiled warmly. "That's what friends are there for, right?" she said sweetly. "To pick you up when you fall and cheer you on in battle."

"That's right," Ash nodded.

"True friends are always there for each other," she smiled. "You can always count on them, and that's why we're true friends, right Ash?"

Dawn's voice was light-hearted, but that last statement suddenly took on a darker meaning for Ash. He stopped abruptly in his tracks as his mind flew back to reality, remembering what he and May discovered not too long ago: one of their friends was a traitor. They had no clue who it was, or why whoever it was betrayed them.

And why should Dawn betray us? he thought, his mind a mix of disbelief and anger. What could she have to gain from –?

His eyes widened and his face paled as he flashed back to that fateful day in Sinnoh.

Get away from me, you creep!

Dawn, wait! What did I do?!

I said get away!

Dawn, stop! I'm sorry! Please, let me fix this…

Don't touch me, you pervert!

Dawn!? How can you say that?! I don't understand –

I can't believe you'd take advantage of me like that! I thought you were different from other boys. I guess I was wrong!

Dawn, please! I don't understand…

You're just like my father, you know that?! Maybe even WORSE!

Those were her last words to him before she ran into the woods that day. Even though they eventually reunited to continue their journey later that day, nothing was ever the same between them. But she said she forgave me! he thought. After the conference, she forgave me! I know we can't change the past, but she said she was scared and that she didn't mean any of it. She wanted to be friends again, and so did I. His heart began to hurt as his throat constricted. Has she still been suffering after all this time? Did she continue to harbor pain and never tell me?

"Ash?"

Her voice hadn't changed since last he heard it. It was enough to bring him out of the darkest corners of his mind...of his past. He blinked and registered Dawn's worried, caring gaze once again. "Are you okay?"

She blinked. "What do you mean?" Dawn asked. "Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be? It's you and Sonic who I'm worried about right now."

"Ugh," Ash grunted, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I was just remembering something unpleasant."

Dawn blinked again, confused. Then her eyes became sad when she realized what he was talking about. "Ash," she whispered, "does that still bother you?"

"Kinda," he admitted. "I've put it behind me, but there's always going to be that small splinter of guilt in my heart. What about you?"

She sighed. "Yeah, it does still bother me," she said. "I know you didn't mean anything harmful by it, though." She smiled at him in reassurance. "You remember how I forgave you, right?"

"Of course," he nodded. "And I'm pretty sure it's because of that that I haven't fallen into despair. But it still hurts."

"I know," she said sadly. "It'll always hurt a little for you, and more for me. But I've still forgiven you, haven't I?"

He smiled softly. "Yeah."

"That's what I thought," she winked. "No need to worry, right? Now come on! We're burning daylight here!" With that, she walked ahead of him, taking quick and light steps. Ash, followed closely behind. Though he was more at peace now than he was a minute ago, his mind was still plagued with doubts.

I know you've forgiven me he thought. But is that enough for you? I want to trust you, Dawn. I really want to, because the truth is yes, you are a true friend. But if you're the one who's betrayed us…

NO! He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth. I can't think like that...I WON'T!

All the while, Dawn was too focused on getting to town to notice her friend's emotional turmoil. Before either of them knew it, they'd reached Old Ferrum Town.

"Sonic!" Tails cried, rushing out to them with Knuckles right behind him. "What happened to him?"

"We synchronized again," Ash explained, "but it was too much for him, and he passed out." He wiped his brow. "I'm not doing much better."

"Will he be okay?" Knuckles asked. "This transformation doesn't have long-running side-effects, does it?"

"He'll be fine," Ash assured him. "He'll be out of it for a while, but besides that he'll be fine."

"Okay," the echidna nodded, then gestured towards the Pokemon Center. "There's a spare bed over where we are. We can lay him down there."

They followed him there and quickly settled in. As soon as Sonic was resting comfortably, Ash decided to take a rest as well. Pikachu bounded up to him and curled up on his stomach.

"Hey, buddy," he smiled, stroking his fur. "Did ya miss me?"

"Chaaaa," Pikachu squeaked happily, then he made puppy-eyes at his trainer.

"Oh, give me a break," Ash chuckled, giving him a knuckle sandwich. "I was gone for, what, an hour? Come on...we've been apart much longer than that before." They laughed, then relaxed into the bed. "Ah," Ash exhaled before he fell asleep. "I needed this."

"How's Sonic?" Misty asked as Tails walked back into the room.

"He'll be fine," the fox replied. "He just needs a good long rest."

"So does Ash, it seems," Dawn said. "That transformation took its toll on both of them."

"What?" Clemont raised an eyebrow. "Ash was tired? I thought he'd mastered the transformation."

"That's right," Serena nodded. She looked at Dawn fearfully. "What happened to him? Was he hurt?"

"He only got a small cut on his arm," Dawn replied. "Nothing serious. He was fine otherwise."

"But why would he struggle with the transformation if he'd mastered it?" Bonnie wondered aloud.

"Hm…" Max thought, putting his hand on his chin. "He mastered the transformation...with Greninja, right?"

"Right," May nodded.

"Bingo," Max smirked as he adjusted his glasses.

"Huh?" everyone looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean by that?" Serena asked.

"Ash mastered the transformation with Greninja," Max explained. "However, this is, what, the second time he's done it with Sonic? Sonic is much more inexperienced with the transformation. That must be why he passed out, while Ash was simply exhausted."

"Well, listen to you, Mr. Smarty-pants!" Bonnie teased him, getting uncomfortably close to his face. "You sure know your stuff, doncha?"

"Uh…" Max blinked, eyes wide and face red as a cherry. "Y-Yeah, I guess I do."

While Clemont looked utterly horrified at his sister's sudden move, May was having the hardest time trying not to burst out laughing. "Really, Bonnie?" Serena mumbled with a deadpan expression.

"I must say, this recipe is quite spicy," Cilan commented.

"CILAN!" Iris shouted, slamming him over the head with a mallet.

"Owch! Hey!" he retorted, rubbing his head. "That's not necessary!"

"Oh, hey!" Misty smiled as she took the mallet from Iris' hand. "You found my old mallet! Thanks!"

Everyone face-faulted.

Ash's eyes fluttered open. He looked out the window and saw stars sparkling in the sky. He looked back at his stomach and saw Pikachu still laying there, fast asleep. Careful not to wake him, he slowly picked him up, stood up, and placed him back on his pillow. He quietly backed away, making sure he was still asleep, then walked out.

There was a small balcony on one end of the center. He went out and leaned against the rusty old railing, staring up at the beautiful sky. The full moon shone down in all its radiance, bathing the balcony in a beautiful white aura. He took a deep breath, inhaling the night air, and exhaled softly.

"It's been a long time since I felt so...peaceful," he mused quietly. "Maybe when I get back home again, Mom and I can go on that vacation we talked about." He sighed as he looked down, his thoughts becoming a bit sadder. "Is she lonely?" he thought out loud. "She has Mimey and Professor Oak, and Tracey. But still," he mumbled, "I know they aren't her family. They're friends, sure, and that's the next best thing. But...how badly does she miss me? I can't help but wonder…"

"Ash?"

"Ah!" he jumped, but he quickly relaxed when he saw who came out to see him. "Oh, hey May."

"I heard about what happened with you and Sonic," May said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face as she walked up to him. "It sounded worse than it was."

"Yeah," he nodded. "That transformation took more of a toll on Sonic than it did on me. I'm used to it."

"But you were still tired," she reminded him. "Why was that?"

"Sonic hasn't mastered the transformation yet," Ash said. "So it's taking more energy from me than usual to maintain it."

"I see," May nodded. She mirrored his posture, leaning against the wooden railing. For a moment, they didn't say anything. Then she brought up that one topic that neither of them wanted to talk about: "Was Dawn any trouble?"

"No," Ash said quickly, looking straight into her eyes. "She was quick to step in and help when Sonic and I wore ourselves out. We had a little chat as we came here. I didn't tell her anything, though."

"I thought so," May smiled.

"And yet," he went on, "she was talking to me about friendship, and what it meant to her. Normally I wouldn't give that a second thought, but the way she spoke...it was almost like she was trying to get me to tell her something."

May blinked. "As in...she was manipulating?"

"That's kinda what it looked like, yeah," Ash nodded. "But what motivation would she have for that?" He looked back to the sky. "I can only think of one reason why she would betray us, but it's something both of us put behind us years ago."

May looked at him with a sad gaze and put her hand on his shoulder. "I had a similar hunch that if Dawn were the traitor, that would be her reason. But you're right: you put it behind yourselves, so it provides a weak case against her."

"Everyone has a weak case against them," Ash grumbled. "That's the problem. None of them seems to have a very compelling reason to betray us, and yet one of them has done just that." He shook his head. "I don't care who did it. I just want to know why!"

Seeing his conflicted state of mind, May sighed and hung her head. Then a thought occurred to her that hadn't before. "Ash?"

"Yeah?" he replied, looking back up at her.

"We've talked about one of our friends being a traitor," she said, "but...what about us?"

Ash blinked. "What about us?" he asked.

"I told you that one of our friends was betraying us," she explained. "Since then, has it ever crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe, I'm the traitor?"

Ash didn't hesitate for even a second before shaking his head with a smile. "Absolutely not."

"Really?" May said, eyes wide. "Why not?"

He took her hand in his and gently placed it over her heart. "Because you and I have loved each other so long," he went on, "I would know if something was wrong. If you were the traitor, I would know." He dropped their hands. "What about you? Have you thought that maybe I'm the traitor?"

"Never," May shook her head with a smile. "Everything you just said about me goes the same for you: I'd know if something was off between us."

Ash smiled softly and pulled her into a soft embrace. "That's my girl," he whispered. She blushed deeply and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

Smother each other all you want, you disgusting little worms...soon, you will have nothing left.