The Misadventure's of the Akatsuki
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NarutoxKonanxHarem. (Yugito, Sakura, Hinata, Temari, Shion, Sasame, Hana, Tsume, and Isaribi) The Main focus will be Konan though. I will do one-shot lemons though with the other girls of Naruto but they won't play a major focus in the pairing.
ItachixOc Uchiha (Presumably the unnamed Girlfriend from the Manga.)
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Misadventures- A fanfiction portraying the Akatsuki in a humorous and crack fic like manner. The Akatsuki are the following.
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Deidara- The Bishounen foul mouth, art obsessed member. Like all the members he has a strong like for Alcohol and recently weed. (See chapter 1.) Often made fun of the other characters by his style of speech and looks he's known to often be involved in complicated schemes, usually the guy who blows shit up.
Sasori- One of the quieter and less insane members of the troupe. Been known to have a thing for blondes. From time to time he breaks his silence by either offering words of wisdom or making a completely random Suggestion.
Zetsu-The quietest and most mysterious of the Akatsuki. Goes along with anyone and is neutral. From time to time tries to eat the other members or there pets. (Stay tune for future chapters.)
Hidan-The foul mouthed immortal of the group. Known to be very religious and violent. Loves crack and is a Kleptomaniac. Known to cause children to cry and cause adults to commit suicide.
Kakuzu- The greediest member of Akatsuki. Normally serves as a counter balance to more of the insane behavior of the members. The Ironic thing about this guy is that his immortality is based off having a maximum of five hearts, yet most of his deaths are heart attack related.
Itachi-The Closet Pervert of the Akatsuki. Has been known to kill anyone who messes with his stash. Also tends to Tsukiyomi people a lot, specifically Kisame. Also one of the more insane members, though his bouts are more concentrated and deadly then spread out like the others.
Kisame- An Open pervert and cannibal. Kisame loves committing mass murder and weed. If there is anything involving drugs then he's most likely involved.
Tobi-The most cheerful and naive of the Akatsuki. Often the Catalyst for Mayhem and other plots that often result in one or more of the members being killed. The running joke is that Tobi is immortal as he usually miraculously survives or disappears.
Konan- The most intelligent of the Akatsuki members and by far sane. Though she has her quirks being a bit of a Nympho and Cosplayer. The Voice of Reason of the group not to mention the one who usually solves the problems. Also know to have a one of a kind jewel that lets her possess the body of others and allows them to feel what she feels.
Pein/Nagato- The leader of the group who is a lightweight when it comes to any type of abuse able substance. Often either Unconscious or somewhere else when things happen. When he is there he is usually panicking like the others. The only person who can keep control of him is Konan
Naruto-Temporary? Soon to be new guy and former target of the Akatsuki. Known as quite the playboy and worshiped by Kisame and Itachi. Is in need of a seal to suppress Kyuubi whose interfering with Naruto's ability to have some fun.
The Akatsuki-Despite their differences they have many things in common. One is they are often dying in embarrassing or unbelievable ways, only to be brought back to life later like nothing happened.
Also they all from time to time abuse substances like Alcohol or Beer. Above all else they have a treasured item that they would kill anyone over.
They also have a game call 'Clowin' when they start doing Yo Mama Jokes for extreme hilarity.
All and all…it's these traits and more that contribute to there Misadventures.
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Konoha 12
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Hinata-The Shy one of the Bunch and the most endowed of the girls. Has a secret Inner Pervert and desired to be 'tamed' by her love Naruto. Hinata is known to rarely get angry or drunk and when she does watch out. Has an alter-ego known as Evil Hinata who comes in great times of stress, anger, or drunkenness. She usually magically appears in an all black leather outfit and paddle that can send people flying several kilometers. She's also known to be invincible and immune to everything from poison to logic with her only weaknesses being Naruto and Holy Water. As a result Hinata is the only shinobi in history to get a special circumstantial SSS-rank label while being loyal to her village.
Sakura-One of the crazier members also has a secret and perverted side. Has a desire to dominate a strong willed and feral Naruto in bed. The type girl that can whoop your ass with a punch and turn around and heal you. Rumors has it that she has a catgirl outfit and a Death Note.
Sasuke-The slightly psychotic one of the K12. He's calm down from his overwhelmingly life of darkness and hatred, but can't seem to function without having vengeance. As a result he's on a never ending quest of vengeance for anyone who tries to kill him to simply kicking his puppy Bosco 2. Bosco 2 is named after Bosco, Sasuke's original dog when he was young and the real reason why Sasuke swore vengeance upon Itachi.
Kiba-One of the more perverted members and along with Shino have been known to smoke and sale weed. He's the louder and more boisterous of the duo with his partner Akamaru who has a keen nose for weed as well. Kiba is also one of the few people who knows the identity of the infamous Panty Bandit.
Shino-One of the more intelligent and stoic members of the K12 who also peddles out weed along with Kiba. Also despite how much people try to coax emotion out of him he always talks in monotone. Also rumor has it, or mostly because Kiba states it that he might be the infamous Panty Bandit who is never dare when the Panty Bandit is in public sight.
Ino-The sexy and talkative blond is the heiress of the Yamanka clan. If anyone is to know about the latest gossip its her.
Chouji-The Large kid of the bunch and one of the physically strongest. Chouji is quite kind and intelligent, even a decent cook. Watch out because if you call him fat he literally squashes you.
Shikamaru-The most intelligent of the K12 and one of the true geniuses of Konoha Shikamaru is known for thinking ten steps ahead of his opponents. He's also quite lazy so why the hell is that attractive brunette from wine country dating him?
Tenten-The weapon happy weapons master of Konoha. Tenten is the first Konoha shinobi of history banned from handling explosives even at the price of failing a mission. So she blew up twenty houses, six factories, three museums, two restaurants, and a golf course. It was an accident. She also has deadly pinpoint accuracy and can pull weapons out of the mythical hammer space.
Neji-Another Stoic member of the K12 and secret pervert. Neji has a fetish for long haired black haired girls. He's also known to go into a murderous rage against anyone who damages his hair.
Lee- The must exuberant member and most energetic excluding Naruto. The heir to the philosophy of Youth and the most extreme. Their is few people who can defeat a drunk Rock Lee in battle.
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Story Start
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''Why the hell do I got to do it?'' Deidara whined, as Pein explained yet again why he had to take Tobi to the Zoo.
''As you know Tobi has been bugging me none stop for the past week. If it was anyone else I would have killed him. ''
''You mean because of your inability to kill Tobi.''
''Shinra Tensi bitch slap!'' With a wave Pein compressed the gravity slap smacked Deidara.
''WHAT THE HELL?''
''That was in response to your comment. As I've told you all before I don't appreciate such rude behavior between our members.''
''YOU JUST BITCH-SLAPPED ME WITH A GRAVITY ATTACK? WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU CALL THAT?''
''I'd call that the perks of being the leader. As the leader I can not waste time doing such foolish things. Konan is gone, Naruto has gone insane and has been missing for weeks, Itachi and Kakuzu are at the post office paying our bills, Zetsu and Kisame are grocery shopping.''
''What about Hidan?''
''Can't find him...'
''Couldn't you just I don't know? Look for him with your Rin'ngengan bodies Leader-sama.''
''Someone such as I will not debase the Rin'nengan for such meager things.''
''But a week ago you used the Shinra Tensei to get the cookie jar off the fridge. You damn near took out the kitchen.''
''Deidara as your leader I'm ordering you take Tobi to the Zoo so he'll leave me alone.''
''You crippled son of a bitch!''
''What was that?''
''Nothing!''
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To say Deidara was pissed was an understatement. First Tobi wouldn't shut up during the entire trip to the Zoo. Then he ran off and Deidara had to search for him only to find out Tobi had let some animals out, stole food, and beat up some security guards with a spoon. Worst of all the managers decided to sue 'him' not Tobi, but him as they saw the strange orange masked person as completely incompetent and unreliable for paying for the damage he caused.
''Tobi go away Goddamnit!'' Deidara yelled furiously as he tried to shake Tobi off his leg. Though the orange masked shinobi clung to his leg.
''Tobi sorry Sempai...Tobi will be a good boy Tobi swears.''
''Hey Tobi looks cookies!''
Tobi let go and his head snapped in the opposite direction.
''Yoink!''
Tobi turned back around to see Deidara was gone.
''SEMPAAAAAAAAI! Come back...'' Tobi cried dramatically as he ran through the corridors. If it wasn't for the dental benefits that Deidara got for being a member of Akatsuki he would have blown them all to hell years ago, especially Tobi.