he Misadventure's of the Akatsuki
0
NarutoxKonanx(Yugito, Sakura, Hinata, Temari, Shion, Sasame, Hana, Tsume, and Isaribi) The Main focus will be Konan though. I will do one-shot lemons though with the other girls of Naruto but they won't play a major focus in the pairing.
ItachixOc Uchiha (Presumably the unnamed Girlfriend from the Manga.)
0
Story Start
0
''No way!''
''I can't believe it!''
''So even he died.''
''This is serious.''
It was none other then the body of there Butler Geoffrey. He was covered in blood and wasn't moving. He had several holes in his outfit, consisting with stab marks. In his hand was a heart.
''I recognize that heart…It's Kakuzu's heart…then that means.''
''He's dead!'' Said a figure from the darkness. They were a hundred feet away from the door, from freedom. The killer being there last obstacle. ''Great Job…the two of you managed to survive.''
''Tw…''Hidan started to say as blood dripped from his mouth. He fell forward and gave a horrendous scream as his body blew to pieces. In it's places was some black shelled looking dog creature.
''WHAT THE FUCK MAN! WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU KILLING US!''
''You always did managed to piss me off Kisame. You were always talking shit…saying things that I didn't find inappropriate. Now I will kill you.''
''Killer-san do you have any idea who you are fucking with? I am Pein, Leader of Akatsuki and wielder of the Rin'nengan. I have only lost to one person and you sure as hell aren't him.''
The killer began to chuckle. ''I know you a lot better then you think…Nagato.'' The killer said as Pein's eyes widen.
''How? Only…wait…how you know about our abilities and personalities. How you knew what we were going to do accordingly. It's all so simple now, I should have known from the moment you disappeared.''
''So you know who I am don't you?''
''Without a doubt…you could only be….''
''Well who is it? Whose the killer?''
''Kisame I knew I should have killed you first. You always did piss me off.''
''You could have gone about this a different way...you two.''
Just then another black cloaked figure appeared behind them. ''I'm afraid not Pein,'' The person in front of them took off the cloak to reveal Konan.
''Ko-hime is right...enough is enough,'' behind them was Naruto.
''But why...the two of you killed the other members for what reason?''
''Lack of sex breeds insanity...I'm a fucking Jinchuuriki...I have needs...''
''Also I have needs to damnit! Using this damn jewel made me develop a fucking Libido of a rabbit.''
''That explains why you kept using that damn vibrator of yours into all ours of the night.'' Kisame was met with two paper shurkens to the eyes. ''My eyes...my fucking eyes I'm blind.''
''You'll be something else to if you don't shut the fuck up.''
''So you are the ones who killed all the others.''
''Yeah...well except Itachi. We bribed him with tickers to pockey land. After all the shit you bastards done to us, is it no wonder?''
0
Flash Back-First Incident
0
Konan was tossed on the bed as Naruto slit open her robe with a kunai. It was so arousing to be taken so force able by her new lover. He kissed and caressed every inch of her chest. His hands had trailed down to her blue lace panties and massaged her entrance through the material. She moaned in ecstasy as he got her all hot and bothered. The next thing she knew he jumped up and started cursing and hissing in pain.
0
Second Incident
0
She was taking a nice warm bubble bath when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her. ''Well hey there Handsome…come to wash my back?'' She asked seductively as she took ahold of his tool.
''Oh you know it my goddess. I got the cure and I'm ready to show you why I'm the god of stamina.''
''Are you sure you got the right one?''
''Oh I'm sure,'' He groaned as he started to get aroused.
''In that case let meaah,'' Konan hissed as she jerked back her hand from the heat.
''Fuach.'' Naruto cried out in pain. It wasn't the cure.
0
''There was the Movie Theather…The Parking Lot…The Tree.''
''Tree?''
''Shut the fuck up Kisame! On second thought keep talking…you'll be dead in a matter of seconds anyway.''
''But Itachi would never...''
''Thank you for giving us that set-up... we had help.'' Itachi stands out.
''This organization has ruined my happiness for the last time.
0
Couple of months ago
0
''Bill…Bill…Bill.'' Paper after paper was being launched into the fire. Kakuzu…being the cheap ass that he wasn't didn't pay the heating bill so they had to make a fire and was burning any scrap of paper they could find.
''Has anyone seen my tickets to pocky land? They were…'' It was to Itachi's horror that he saw Kisame throw in a stack of papers. Where he hid his Pocky papers in. ''!'' Runs off.
''The hell wrong with him?'' Deidara asked as Kisame shrugged.
0
Flashback end
0
''Wait…so you killed everyone…Our butler and all the other members just because of some tickers?''
''They weren't just some tickets…They were V.I.P. deluxe Pocky Land tickets. Free pass to the factory and a life time's worth of Pocky. You bastards took that away from me.''
''Well technically it was Kakuzu and Kisame…I didn't have anything to do with it? What? Don't look at me like that Kisame I had nothing to do with it…but still…Itachi…to kill 9…''
''Actually 7…Naruto and Konan are um…indisposed. I couldn't kill the only surviving writer of the Icha Icha Series. Now it's time for you two to die.''
''Itachi you…''
''I paid Konan 5,000 Ryou to disable your bodies. ''
''Wouldn't kill me I mean come on…after all I done for you?''-Kisame
''You mean all the times you stole my book? And used up the hot water? And bought all that crap on my credit card?''
''Well can you just kill him and let me live. I know a guy and the black market who we can sell the remaining body pieces so we can buy you new tickets.''-Pein
''Mmhmm…deal.''
At the end of the day the remaining Akatsuki members went to I-hop. Then they went to the air-port to see Tobi off as he was going to visit his mother. Apparently various forms of immortality existed in Tobi's family. For his mother it was the power of resurrection. Kisame, along with the other members body were donated to science. Naruto and Konan decided to get married, with Itachi as their best man.
The Uchiha then went on to start his own Pockey company. While Pein using his six bodies became a bodyguard who made six times the normal salary for obvious reasons. It was sage to say that things were finally looking up.
00
Arc end
00
Ok people there is the true ending. Next time we'll have more things...also go to Naruto wiki and go to Konan's bio. The next chapter will have her wearing the none akatsuki outfit you will see on that page...can we all say...Dayuuum! And with that e come to the Bonus Episode
0
Bonus
0
''Where's the Joker?'' Someone dressed up as Batman asked the tied up Naruto.
''I DWHT KEID A gohdumn thung''
''What?''
He repeats it through the mask he's wearing.
''Give me that!'' He said yanking off the fox mask.
''I said I don't know a god damn thing.''
''You know something...you were at the scene of the crime.''
''Yeah unconscious and drugged. I don't know how the fuck I got there but I know what he does to people.''
''I'll protect you...''
''Protect me...mutha fucka you kidnapped me. If it wasn't for a fact that I know for a fact Tobi was arrested for indecent exposure meaning you couldn't possibly be him I'd be trying to whoop your ass right now.''
''Look I need information on the Joker.''
''Look man even if I did know something I ain't telling you a god damn thing. I saw the way the fool cut himself from cheek to cheek. Healing factor or not be damned.''
''I'll protect you...''
''How by keeping me in a wet cave.''
''He won't find you here.''
''Damn right...I'm not staying here...Konan ordered a Yourichi from Bleach cos play outfit and I for; sure as hell don't plan on being stuck in this cave when I could be doing some freaky shit with my lover.''
''Look if you don't tell me what you know...''
''You'll what beat the shit out of me...look Batman I'm a shinobi I can handle getting my ass whopped I can't
handle being dead.''
''I'm warning you.''
''You know what warn me, write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck.''
''I'm giving you one last chance.''
''Kiss my ass bat-man.''
''Tell me.''
''Kiss..''
'''Where''
''My.''
''Is.''
''Ass...kiss my ass Batman.''
''Tall ma vaz dazam.''
''What the fuck!'' Naruto shouted as his eyes widened.
''Tall ma vaz dazam.''
''Ok man you got problems.''
''I got a lot of problems and your one of them. Where is he.''
''Ok batman calm down I'll tell you everything I know.''
''RACHEL!''
''Rachel! What the hell man calm down it's just me and you.''
''Who is that? Who are you! Where am I! I'm sorry!''
''Someone help me this fool is crazy!''