Alright lovies! After almost two years of loving and struggling through this story we are finally closing the book. I have the last two chapters for you guys all ready to go. This is the first and I'll give the last one to you tomorrow. And that's a promise for sure. Thank you for sticking with me for this long (literally the most time-consuming piece of fanfiction I've written so far, but I had a lot of fun).

So proceed, read, enjoy, and let me know what you think.

They spent a while watching Mikey breathe in silence.

Both sat on the end of his bed, Raph facing Mikey with his legs crossed and his shoulders hunched as he leaned his elbows on his knees. Leo faced the opposite direction though he angled himself with his palm on the bed to allow his gaze both to stare over his shoulder toward Mikey and glance periodically at Raph's profile.

The older turtle scratched at his cheek where the scars from Tigerclaw lined his face as his eyes traveled along Raph's patches of gauze, under which Leo knew his brother would be sporting his own collection of battle scars. He sighed to himself and looked back at Mikey whose freckled cheeks were swollen with bruises and whose body was so cocooned in strips of gauze that he looked like the meal of a spider who had tenderly wrapped him in a blanket of webs.

"Do you think it'd be different if we'd gotten there sooner?" Raph said, voicing the very concern on Leo's mind.

He shivered as his thoughts automatically jumped to the flatness in Donnie's voice, the emptiness in his eyes during their conversation, and, not only his silence on his experience with the Shredder, but his avoidance of the topic. Leo wanted to know the answer to that question, but he was also afraid of the answer to that question.

"I don't think it's smart to think about it," he said, as much for Raph as for himself. "It already happened."

Raph nodded, but his green eyes were considerably duller in color as he gazed down at their sleeping brother. "Leo …" he said after a while, his voice so quiet that it just barely touched Leo's ear.

Leonardo gave him his full attention, but Raph kept his eyes sloped.

"About everything I said—"

"You don't have to go there, Raph."

The red turtle's nose scrunched up indignantly, and, for a moment, he became himself again as he flashed a glare on the older turtle. "I know I don't," he snapped. "Let me apologize dammit, before I lose my nerve."

Leo smiled. He folded his hands in his lap and nodded his brother on. Raph sucked in a breath and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry for trying to get under your skin about Karai, and for not letting you decide things on your own, and for punching you in the face—even though you deserved it that time—and for saying all those things I said about Karai …"

His face twisted as though he didn't know how to continue. Leo fixed his shoulders and decided to help.

"Are you saying this because you know you won?"

Raph raised a brow. "Won? What, were we playin' chess or something?"

Leo grinned.

"Well, it's not like I suddenly like her or anything. Could you see me apologizing if you'd picked her instead? I mean really, it's like you don't know me at all … And just so you know, I wasn't worried."

"Oh?"

"Not for a second."

Leo nodded, simultaneously turning his body to face Raph's. He caught Raph stiffening a little with a flicker of a glance down at Leo's knee as it brushed against his shell. "Is that why you were trying so hard?"

Raphael smirked as he met Leo's gaze. "You think you're so goddamn irresistible don't you?"

Leo shrugged. "Well that's what started all this isn't it?"

"Jesus Christ. I can't believe I fell for you."

Leo's only response was a smile. He reached toward his brother's lap and took his hand, changing, in an instant, Raph's entire demeanor. The hot-headed, hard-shelled turtle in red softened completely and, for the first time that Leo could ever recall, didn't try to hide it. He simply stared with a shallow crease to his brow as Leo turned his palm face up and inspected his calloused fingers as though he'd never seen them before.

Raph's hands were warm. The same kind of warm he'd expected to find. Though his skin was rough and the muscles in his palm tense with the instinct to fight, there was tenderness to the strength in Raph's hands, such that promised always to protect and care for anything he decided to cherish. That had always been a quality about Raphael that Leo had known was there, but it ached his chest to admit that he hadn't acknowledged such a quality until the night he'd slept in Raph's room.

Leo traced an invisible line along Raph's palm then placed his hand in his brother's and curled his fingers around it. Raph's hand closed out of instinct, but his grip was sure—confident. Leo's chest filled with a fog that was so earnest it actually hurt and even brought a grimace to his face.

"I have to apologize too, Raph," he said to his wrist.

"I know," said the other turtle. "After all that, the least you could do is say you're sorry."

Leo lifted his head with an open mouth, but Raph cut him off with his free hand.

"But first, I gotta know."

Leo let his shoulders relax. "What?"

Raph squeezed his hand. "Is this temporary or what? Cuz I'm not gonna commit to anything if you're not serious."

The blue-banded turtle pinched his lips together. "Of course I'm serious."

Raph shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. It's not like you've explicitly said you want to be in a relationship. I'm just making sure, for my own sanity."

"Yes, Raphael, I would like to be."

Raph's eyes studied Leo's for a long time, waiting for him to blink maybe, to fidget, to lose eye contact, or maybe he was simply looking for a hint of anything that might say Leo didn't mean it. But he did, and so he allowed Raph to study him, because he deserved that. The older turtle knew he hadn't made the process easy up to this point—not that Raph had either, but still—he owed it to his brother to be as transparent as possible, no more tiptoeing around the issue, no more pretending like he didn't share the same feelings, no more arguing … at least not about this.

"Okay," Raph said after a satisfied nod. "Since I think you're telling the truth, I have another question. What made you decide? And please don't tell me you suddenly had a realization that you couldn't live without me after I took an explosion to the face."

Leo hiccuped a chuckle. "I've always known I couldn't live without you, Raph," he said honestly, but it shivered his spine to think of what might have happened if his rebel hadn't woken up.

The image of Raph being blown off of his feet from the tiny window Leo had had through Foot limbs and hazy air flashed back into his mind, and it shook his stomach. His muscles tightened, inadvertently making his grip stricter around Raph's hand—not that the red-banded turtle seemed to notice. Leo realized there was still a small part of him that was mad at his brother for nearly dying. He shook his head to himself and forced the discomfort to leave through his nose as he exhaled.

"I'm still mad that you did that."

"But I saved—"

"I know. And you still did it for me, didn't you?"

Raph's gaze flickered away, but they both knew it was true.

"I think that's what did it," Leo said. "Not that you went all heroic and sacrificial or anything, but … You're always there, Raph. You always have my back. I mean, you said it yourself, and you were right. I think what you did just reminded me how stubborn, and hard-headed, and backward, and stupid you are."

Raph's expression flattened. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Leo said. "It also reminded me that I love all those things about you, and you wouldn't be Raph without them, and that because of that you're also loyal, and strong, and fearless. And I trust you with my life—with anyone's life. Because when it really matters most, you do what you can to protect all of us, no matter what's going on. You'd never let me fall."

Raph sniffed nonchalantly, as though Leo's words had no affect on him, but the older turtle knew better. "I just don't feel like watching you hit the ground."

Leo smiled. "I love you too."

"Well, shit. Took you long enough."

They shared a grin this time and Raph's thumb just barely passed over the back of Leo's hand. Leo glanced down and used a free finger to scratch at the tape around Raph's knuckles.

"I really am sorry, Raph."

"I know. And I'll forgive you, but you have to answer another question."

"Geez, you're just full of them tonight." Leo rolled his eyes, but nodded his brother on. "What is it?"

This time Raph's smile disappeared on his skin. His eyes acquired a peculiar glimmer and he tilted his head to the side. "What did Karai say to you?"

A swell of heat grazed the tops of Leo's cheeks, but he knew it was in Raph's best interest that he respond truthfully. It was going to take a lot of patience and cooperation to feel like he'd made up for screwing with Raph's emotions. It was going to take a lot of honesty too.

"She told me she loved me," he said.

Raph's expression again flattened, but Leo went on before he could make a comment.

"And that I made the right choice."

At this Raph looked a little taken aback—which was more adorable than Leo expected it to be. The turtle in red glanced to the side with a furrowed brow, as though he wasn't sure what to think of this information. Leo could see him trying to fit uneven jigsaw pieces together in his mind. Obviously, his perception of Karai and the reality of Karai didn't add up for him, and, after a moment, he seemed to let it pass, but he pinched his lips together at the corner first and shook his head.

"Damn."

"What?"

"That means she's not that bad."

Leo chuckled. "I told you."

Raph rolled his eyes. "Whatever. More importantly, we have one more thing to talk about."

Leo sighed through his nose. "Is this ever going to end?"

"That kiss."

"What kiss?"

"At the hospital," Raph said pointedly, his back straight, "when you suddenly came to the realization that you were desperately in love with me."

Leo scoffed. "First of all, that's not even close to what happened. Second—dumbass—that was CPR."

Raph rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling. "Are you sure about that?"

"It was not a kiss."

As he said this, making sure his voice was loud enough and clear enough to make a point, Raph's eyes slid back to his face with a hidden smirk peeking out behind a new shine of confidence. It was infectious and reached out to share a bit of that confidence with Leo. He was comfortable, for the first time in what felt like years upon years of fighting, and tension, and miscommunication, and strain between him and Raphael. He could breathe with him without feeling suffocated, stare at him without looking away, hold his hand without flinching. He could kiss him, and he did, deliberately and slowly, taking all the care to cushion Raph's jaw in his palm and tenderly pull him forward—just a little bit. It was short and it was soft, but it was intentional. It was something he wanted and it made every knot in his being unravel like the coils of a snake releasing its grip.

"That was a kiss," he whispered hardly an inch from Raph's lips.

Even this close he could see the blush in Raph's dark green skin. The red-banded turtle didn't say anything, but that was expected of Raph. His response instead was to take the leader by his shoulders and yank him back in.

Raph wasn't nearly as tender about kissing, but Leo didn't mind that at all. He finally decided, very definitively, that Raph's strength, and Raph's passion, and the typically rough way about which Raph did things was something he enjoyed very much, because it was very distinctive to Raphael. That was how he operated. So, Leo would balance that out when he needed to. For now, he closed his arms around Raph's neck and reveled in the feeling of being encased and held as tightly as possible. It was electrifying, like someone had rubbed a dry sock all over his body. He didn't have any hair, but he was sure if he did it'd all be standing up right now.

He liked kissing, he decided. And the fact that it was Raph made all the difference.

"This room is rated PG."

The two turtles broke apart and, still holding each other, glanced down toward their baby brother, who peeked at them with one sleepy eye.

"You guys are disgusting."

Leo laughed. Raph gently slapped Mikey's foot. "Go to sleep, you little turd."

A shadow of a smile graced Mikey's cheek and he let his head sink back into his pillow, closing his eye obediently. His lungs filled themselves with a big breath of air and as he exhaled, Leo faintly heard him sigh he word "finally."

They sat still for a minute, both waiting until they heard Mikey's breathing change into a soft snore, then they looked back at each other.

"Well ..." Raph sighed. "What now?"

Leo pressed his lips together and gazed at his brother seriously. "I think you know."

Raph's eyes shifted. "I do?"

Leo nodded. "We have to tell Splinter."