The Misadventures of the Akatsuki
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Some more NarutoxKonan
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Story Start
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''Has anyone seen Zetsu?'' Deidara asked as Hidan looked at him like he was crazy.
''He's right here fuck-head...Sasori isn't the one whose here.''
''Oh yeah...who wants to smoke some weed?''
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Living Room
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Everyone was in the living room high as hell. Then all of a sudden Kisame,Deidara, and Naruto got on stage wearing goggles. Kisame started singing with Deidara and Naruto as backup.
(Because I got High-Afroman)
It's Like, I don't care about nothin man,
roll another blunt, Yea (ohh ohh ohh),
La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa
I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
The others started to sing along.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I am taking it next semester and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
Tobi started break dancing.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
Zetsu started eating all the muther fucking twinkies.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
Hidan started to do the wave.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
(La da da da da da da da da)
Now I am a paraplegic and i know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- because I got high [repeat 3X]
Kakuzu started river dancing.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- because I got high [repeat 3X]
Itachi pulled out a crack pipe and lit it.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why, yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
Pein got up shook his head and started leaving until Itachi tripped him.
(La da da da da da da da da)
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]
(La da da da da da da da da)
I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I don't sell one copy I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I'm high [repeat 3X]
La da da da da da, La da da da, Shoop shooby doo wop.
Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh
- cause I'm high [repeat 3X]
(hey where the cluck at cuz) [clucks]
Well my name is afroman and I'm from east pomdale (east-pom-dale)
and all the tolweed I be smokin is bomb as helllllll (excellent delivery)
I don't believe in Hitler, that's what I said (oh my goodness)
so all of you skins (skins) please give me more head.
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That Night
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''I feel as if we're missing something,'' Naruto said as he raked in another stack of chips and everyone got a new hand.
''This is bullshit! You're cheating!'' Kisame accused.
''Hey Itachi...want to know what happened to your vanilla flavored pocky?''
Itachi pulled out a gun and shot Kisame who fell over.
''Damn...actually I was going to say Deidara took it...''
''Wait...wha...''
Bang!
Deidara shot backwards from the gun shot as his cards hit the table. Three aces...
Itachi walked in and looked at Itachi. ''Damnit...this shit isn't out of my system yet.'' He said leaving the room.
The other Itachi turned into a puff of smoke.
''What the hell is Itachi babbling about?'' Deidara asked as the still toasted Itachi was talking about fakes, and poker, also something about porn.
''Who knows...ohh! Oooh! I got you!'' Naruto said as he sniped Deidara.
''God damnit Tobi! Why the hell do I always agree to let you play on my team. You're always killing me or letting me get killed.''
''I sorry sempai...''
''Leave him alone Deidara...always talking shit...Yo Mama so ugly when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
''Oh it's on you blond bastard.''
''You're also blond though.''
''Shut the fuck up! Yo Mama so ugly they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.''
''Yo Mama so ugly people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...''
''Oh yeah...well...Yo Mama so stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...''
''She's so stupid she noticed a sign reading 'Wet Floor'...so she just did!''
''Damn that was fowl!''
''Shut up Hidan...ok I got something for you fucker...when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"
''Well Yo mama is so stupid she everybody in the house solar powered flashlights incase of a blackout...
''Yo Mom so stupid that Oxford had to change the definition of Dumb...it now read: Dumb(n) - yo' Mama.''
''Yo mama's so stupid, wait...she had you didn't she!''
''Muther fucker!''
There started the all out brawl. After about two hours of Taijutsu the two suddenly remembered they were shinobi. So they brought out Ninjutsu.
''Hey wha...holy shi...'' Kakuzu clutched his chest as he had an heart attack and fell over dead. The sight of the Rasenshuriken scared the shit and the life out of him.
''Tobi is a scared boy!'' He yelled as he ran out of the room. Everyone else ran to the secret emergency escape pod. Deidara's explosion and Naruto's Rasenshuriken destroyed the entire base.
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3 days later
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After the base had been rebuilt and Kakuzu revived it was breakfast like always. It was then they heard an ear curtling scream coming from the garden. They all rushed out to see a Dead Zetsu, chopped up on the pieces on the ground. Carved in his torso was 'The puppet master was here!"
''Who could have done this?'' Tobi asked as everyone looked at him like 'for real? Did you really just asked that?' They knew one thing though. Whoever killed Zetsu was going to come after them. Out of everyone except maybe Konan no one had any reason to kill Zetsu. Ago maybe numerous families and friends of the people he eaten but for the most part no one important or significant.
''Is that a puppy?'' Naruto asked pointing to Zetsu's stomach.
''Ok this is bullshit...Kisame clean up duty,'' Pein said as the rest of them went inside to finish breakfast.
''Oh this is real nice...fuck all of you!'' He grumbled as he went to work picking up Zetsu's dismembered body.
A pair of glowing red eyes watched from the bushes. Then another pair appeared right next to it. They looked at each other then slowly backed away from each other.
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Chapter end
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Trust me...no matter what you guys aren't going to guess who the person from the previous chapter is. It's not Kuiinshi...it's not the Kyuubi, or Naruto or even Itachi. There is no way in hell any of you are going to be able to guess.