Chapter 10- Enough for Now
(The Fray)
The week after Mary-Jo was born had to be the most exciting time for Sam. He loved being a father, and it was the closest thing to a "normal" life he had ever experienced. In that first week Sam took so many pictures of Mary that he actually had to start deleting some, because they were eating up space on his phone. Sam was on cloud 9, but his euphoria would soon die out as the weight of the world lay heavy on his shoulders. He dug in his heels and made up his mind. Zoey and M.J. still had to go. On the eve of that dreaded conversation Dean stumbled upon Sam in the library. He was sitting in an arm chair cradling M.J., eyes shut and fingers pinched at the brow of his nose. Dean pulled up a chair across from his brother and patted him on the knee. "It's a little trippy having a kid right? I never thought we'd be parent material." Sam looked up at his brother and nodded, "I think trippy is an understatement. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something." "So you still gonna go through with all this? I mean look Sam you still have time to change your mind." "This isn't something that I want to do Dean, but I have to. I know you and Cas think I'm making the worse decision possible, but…." Sam trailed off. "I'm gonna level with ya Sam. When you first brought all this up yes, I was skeptical. Hell I still am, but don't think for a second that I don't respect your decision. I take back what I said too. You're not weak. It takes a lot of balls to do what you're doing. You're a stronger man than I am. I don't think I could do it and still keep it together." "Well I'm glad you think I'm keeping it together, because I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread." "For what it's worth Sammy you do look like crap, but I wanted to preserve your dignity." Sam laughed and playfully punched Dean in the shoulder. "Come on man get to bed alright? It's late, and you got a long day ahead of you." The brothers walked together to the hall then went their separate ways.
The next afternoon Dean went with Sam to his room as he was about to confront Zoey. He wanted Dean to take M.J. out of the line of fire, because he knew there was going to be a fight. When the boys walked in they found Zoey sitting crisscross on the bed with Mary in front of her. She was kissing M.J.'s tiny feet and talking to her. "Hi baby girl. What are you doing huh? Ya just looking around?" Dean cleared his throat as he approached the bed. "Oh who's that? It's Uncle Dean!" "Hey M.J.! I hope mommy doesn't mind if I steal you for a few." "Not at all." Zoey replied, and handed her to him. Dean cradled Mary and started for the door. "OK M.J. Uncle Dean is gonna tell you the story about when daddy went all the way with a demon named Ruby!" Sam's face turned bright red, "Dean…really!?" he exclaimed. Dean shrugged his shoulders as he brushed past his brother, "What Sam…..you did." Zoey laughed at Sam, as Dean left the room. "You might have to tell me that story sometime Sam." "Not likely." He replied. Sam went and sat at the foot of the bed and took Zoey's hands in his. "Listen there's something I need to talk to you about, and I want you to bear with me." Sam took a long deep breath and slowly exhaled through his nose. He started to talk, but only stammered. "This can't be good. Otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to say. Just tell me Sam. What's going on?" "Zoey….." he stopped, and swallowed hard. "Zoey you and Mary can't stay here. It's not safe, and I don't want you to keep getting hurt." Zoey's mouth dropped. She was in absolute disbelief. "You wanna run that by me again, because it sounded like you said I had to leave, but surely I heard you wrong." Zoey snatched her hands away from Sam's and got up from the bed. "You didn't hear me wrong Zo. You and the baby have to leave. I've been working with some people and there's a home set up and waiting for you in Texas. I even managed to get you a truck. The place is fully furnished and you won't have to worry about bills, or money…any of that. Everything is arranged. All you have to do is go there." "Do I mean nothing to you Sam? Does the fact that I just had your child mean nothing at all?" "No, Zoey your missing the point. You and M.J. mean the world to me that's why I've done all this. It's for your own good." "My own good? Who are you to decide what's good for me? You're my boyfriend. We are supposed to make these kinds of life altering decisions together." "I get what you're saying Zoey, but there was no time. After all you've been through with my brother and I there was no time to stop and as if you were OK with any of this." "My gosh Sam are you kidding me?! You had nine months to tell me you didn't want me around!" "And I did Zoey! I've already had this conversation with you! Before you went back to heaven I told you how I felt. I told you I couldn't protect you!" "WHAT THAT?! That conversation was a joke Sam! I thought you were just scared or had nervous baby jitters. Not once in that conversation did you tell me you wanted me to leave!" "I thought you understood me." "Sam I think I would have "understood you" if you hadn't lead me on the last months of my pregnancy. I came back and everything was fine between us. I thought it was over and done with. Why did you pretend this whole time?" "I didn't want to upset you when you were so close to having the baby." Zoey picked up a book off the desk next to her and chucked it at him. "THAT'S A TERRIBLE EXCUSE!" Sam just narrowly got out of the way. "HEY CALM DOWN!" "No screw you Sam! I'm in a far more upsetting state now! But it must be so easy for you right? Just dump us where you want and go on living without any responsibility!" "You think this is easy for me to let you go?!" "You mean abandon us!" "That is not what I am doing here alright?!" "No that's exactly what you're doing! What kind of father are you sending your child away?!" Zoey's last sentence hit Sam like an arrow to the heart. His face burned red hot as his body filled with rage. In his anger he flung over the night stand; shattering the lamp that sat atop it. "DON'T YOU EVER QUESTION MY ABILITY TO BE A GOOD FATHER! You have no idea what I'm going through!" Dean could hear all the commotion from down the hall, and high tailed it back to the room when he heard the loud shatter. "Hey! Hey! Simmer down Whitney and Bobby! Take a time out alright." "Shut up Dean!" Zoey snapped. "Where's my baby? I'm leaving!" Dean blocked Zoey's path. "Like hell you are. Just relax. Take a breath." "Move Dean. I want my child." "I'm not getting outta the way until you cool off." Zoey huffed and crossed her arms. She stood there fuming for a few minutes before Dean let her pass. "She's asleep in my room!" He shouted as she walked away. Once she was out of ear shot Dean started in on his brother. "What the hell man? What happened in here?" "What do you think happened Dean? She isn't going for it." "Well Sam maybe that's a good thing. It's not like you can force her to go." "I know that, but she needs to." "Look just stay here OK. I'll go talk to her."
When Dean got to Zoey she was sitting on her knees and crying. Quietly he squatted down by her side and placed a hand on her back. "Why is he doing this? Why does he want me to go Dean? I don't understand him." "Listen kid I've been in on this with him for a long time, and you may not like it, but he might have a point." "So you knew? You knew and you didn't tell me." "It wasn't my place to tell you anything. That was between Sam and himself. I mean we talked about all this and I don't agree with him, but I can sympathize. It's taken some time, but he wants what's best. It may not seem like it, but deep down Sam has a big heart. That's something I'll probably never have. Personally I'm more of a shoot first ask questions later kinda guy, but not him. Not Sammy. Once you get past all the bullshit, there's a layer of soft gooeyness that's enough to make ya sick." Dean was trying his best to lighten the mood. "I keep telling myself I can't live without him, but at the end of the day it's fine if I leave. I can handle it, but I can't do that to Mary-Jo. I can't leave her without a dad. That's what I just don't get Dean. I know yal lost your father, and so did I. So why wouldn't he want to be with her for as long as possible?" "Zoey all the things you experienced with us. The demons, being kidnapped, almost dying, and going back and forth to heaven. That's just the tip of the blade for us. Crowley is bad, but I can tell you there are worse things out there than just demons. Now Sam may be a lot of things, but he's not stupid. So if he feels you're safer somewhere else then hell, maybe he knows something we don't. Our dad was an ex-marine and let me tell ya I'd follow that man to the ends of the earth. If he gave me an order I'd be damned if I didn't follow it, but not Sam. Sam may be a Winchester, but if you haven't noticed he's kinda the black sheep. I know for a fact that if circumstances played out differently he would already be married with a kid, and I know that's the life he longs for, but that's not reality. The world we live in…this right here." Dean stopped and pulled up his sleeve to show Zoey the Mark of Cain which was still printed on his forearm. "This is our reality, and it's terrifying. The things we've done. The people we've hurt…we don't get to go back. You do though….this moment right now is your fresh start." Zoey stared hard into Dean's eyes and she knew that what he said was the absolute truth. "If you were me….what would you do?" "I'd go."
The next day no one would speak. Zoey spent her time packing up what little belongings she had, while Sam and Dean kept M.J. occupied. Not that an infant needed much supervision at all, but the boys didn't want to disturb Zoey. The only time they broke the silence was when Castiel came to visit, and ask about the travel arrangements. He offered to take Zoey and the baby straight to Texas, but ultimately it was decided to just drive there. That night Zoey couldn't stand to be around Sam so Dean let her sleep in the bed with him. Sam was OK with this, because it allowed him a night alone to bond with his daughter. He ended up sleeping on his back with M.J. curled up on his chest.
The drive to Texas was a long and grueling one. They left Kansas at 6am and with Dean behind the wheel they made it to Point Blank by 3 o'clock that afternoon. When they pulled on to the rocky drive way on Zoey's 2 acre plot of land she was taken aback. After being in Kansas for so long she had forgotten how beautiful the Texas country side was. She wouldn't say it out loud, but her house wasn't too shabby either. The boys unloaded her stuff as she explored her new home. It was a two bedroom one story house. Complete with a big living room and a gorgeous kitchen which held a giant bay window. It was already furnished and extremely rustic. Something Zoey only ever dreamed about. After she was done surveying her new place she laid a sleeping M.J. in a basinet that had been put in the master bedroom. Zoey found the boys chilling out on the front porch. Dean was sitting in a rocking chair and Sam sat on the front steps. Zoey took her place next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder. For the first time in two days, she finally spoke. "So where will you go after this?" "We'll probably stop at a hotel in Oklahoma City, and then make it back home tomorrow sometime." "Will you come visit us?" "Of course Zo, as often as I can, I mean it's not like I'd have to drive every time. Cas is very convenient when you want to get somewhere in a hurry." "You know you're going to miss so much in Mary's life right?" "Yea….I realize that." "So don't do this Sam. Don't leave us." "Zoey please…I don't want to fight anymore." She stopped talking. Together they sat there starring off into the distance. At some point Dean had slipped into the house, but he was coming back out to tell them they had been sitting there for an hour. "Listen you two. I hate to break this up, but we really gotta get back on the road." Zoey got up and gave a Dean a hug. "Did you tell Mary-Jo goodbye?" "Are you kidding me? It's not goodbye. It's see ya later." Zoey smiled and wiped a tear that had rolled down her cheek. "You're right. See ya later Dean." "See ya later kid." They hugged once more, and then Dean went to start up the Impala. Zoey turned towards Sam, and intended on telling him how much she loved him, but her words were cut short by his lips. He took her face in his hands and kissed her with all the strength he had left. Zoey wrapped her arms around his head and intertwined her fingers in his hair. For a single moment no one else in the world existed, no one else matter, it was Sam and Zoey plain and simple. Eventually Sam pulled away from her and walked back into the house. He kissed a still sleeping M.J. on the forehead and walked back out. As he made his way down the steps Zoey grabbed his hand and pulled him in for one last kiss. She didn't want it to end, but somehow it did. When they finally parted Sam didn't look back. He took his spot on the passenger side of the Impala and set his gaze straight ahead. He wouldn't allow himself to even look in the mirror for fear that if he saw her face. Sam didn't want to change his mind, and knew that one look from Zoey would shatter everything they came to Texas for. Dean waited a few seconds and then asked, "You alright man?" "No...but I will be." Dean beeped the horn twice as he waved his hand to Zoey through the window. She waved back at him and watched as they disappeared into the distance.
Things had been too quiet for Dean these past couple days so he broke out a cassette tape from the glove box. He popped it in and turned up the volume. Speeding off down the road, the Impala was blaring "Carry on my Wayward Son."
Miles away in an unknown location Crowley sat in a raggedy old chair only fit for the king of hell. In the distance he could hear the steps of high heels clicking down the hall. When they reached the door to his room he gestured for his demon body guard to let this person enter. A slender woman with straight blonde hair strutted in. She was wearing hot pink heels, and a tight black dress that accentuated her breast. Crowley patted his lap, gesturing for the woman to come over and take a seat. The woman smiled, and took her place on his legs. She leaned in and licked Crowley from his chin to his lips, before furiously making out with him. When they finally took a breath, he looked at her and asked, "Delilah my pet. Tell daddy about heaven."