When Jemma slid her coat on and opened the lab doors the next morning, the last thing she expected to see was Fitz, hunched over as he examined something on the desk in front of him. She closed the door quietly behind her before cautiously edging her way toward him, knowing from experience that in his current state she would be more warmly received if she didn't make too much noise. But as she approached him, she was surprised to notice that though his eyes looked bloodshot, he otherwise didn't appear tired or hung over. A screwdriver dangled from his fingertips as he inspected the device, his other hand resting on his opposite shoulder. For a second, Jemma almost smiled. Because for a second, she could have sworn he looked like the old Fitz.

But that was until she saw his lips moving in a silent conversation with himself.

In fact, Fitz was so engrossed with whatever he was doing that he didn't seem to have heard her come in at all. Jemma cleared her throat.

"Hi, Fitz," she said in as cheerful of a voice as she could muster. "You're up early."

Fitz nearly dropped the screwdriver as he sat up, his eyes going wide before focusing in on her. "Oh, I was, uh…" he began, scratching the back of his head and looking away. "Well, yeah, you see, I was just, er…" He gestured towards the desk in front of him, as if it could supply the words he couldn't find. Jemma remained silent, waiting for him to finish and hoping that her smile was still fixed in place. "Just having a bit of trouble, er…trouble…trouble…sleeping, is all," he finally sighed, sounding exhausted.

"Oh," Jemma replied, upset that she didn't have a more appropriate response. "Um…are you feeling all right?"

She suppressed a groan, especially when she saw Fitz's blank expression in reaction to her horrendous question. "I mean," she clarified, closing her eyes for a second, "you're not feeling ill or anything like that, are you?"

Fitz glanced down at his hands, but Jemma could see the hint of a smile on his face. "No, no, I, uh…I'm fine," he said, taking another deep breath before getting out of his seat. He made his way over to one of the adjacent lab benches, where he sifted through some papers with his back to her. "It just, uh…happens sometimes with the, er…" His voice faded away as he turned toward her, pointing vaguely to his head.

"Right," Jemma nodded, even though she knew that that response was hardly any better. She was thankful when Fitz gave her an appreciative smile on the way back to his seat, a few diagrams held tightly in his hands. There were a couple moments of uncomfortable silence, and the longer Jemma stood in the same spot, the more out of place she felt.

The worst part was that Jemma understood, or at least she thought she did. She wanted to ask him if it was really his affliction that made it difficult for him to sleep, or if it was something else. She wanted to ask him if he also awoke in the middle of the night, gasping for air as if he's never breathed before, or if it also takes him until sunrise to stop crying and realize he's no longer in that med pod. She wanted to ask him if he could ever forgive her for not swimming fast enough, for not being able to help him, for leaving when he'd thought he'd needed her most. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, so many things she wanted to say. But she couldn't.

And she knew why she couldn't.

Instead she had to settle for playing with her hands as she awkwardly tried to think of something else to say. "So what are you working on?" she asked brightly, stepping just close enough to see the device properly without breaching the unspoken boundary that was now between them.

Fitz looked up at her briefly, but his focus remained on his hands. Jemma tried and failed not to notice the trembling. "Oh, uh…nothing important, just tinkering around," he shrugged, setting aside one of the parts.

He didn't seem particularly irritated with her at the moment, so Jemma summoned up her courage and took another step forward. "Is that…one of the early D.W.A.R.F. prototypes?" she asked, recognizing the old designs that hadn't quite made it to the final product. "Looks like…is it Grumpy?"

"Snow," Fitz corrected quietly, removing the bot's microchip and placing it carefully on a plastic plate.

Jemma leaned forward and rested her hands on the corner of the desk, taking care not to accidentally brush against Fitz's shoulder. "Ah," she said, spotting the small engraving of the apple on the side of one wing. "I see it now."

She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, or if it was even conscious on his part, but Jemma couldn't help but notice that Fitz held his breath until she backed away from him again. "I can't believe you still have the first one," she marveled, hoping to minimize his discomfort as she took a minuscule step backwards. "We were barely out of the Academy when you designed it."

Fitz reached across the desk and grabbed the tablet sitting on the edge. "During those last exams, actually," he murmured as he began to sync the microchip with the program. "Yeah, you, um…well, you made us take one of those, er…revision breaks-"

"Which you hardly needed persuading into," Jemma remarked before she could stop herself.

"Yeah," Fitz smiled, even though he still avoided her eyes. "But, um…it was during one of those, and I don't know, you…er…well, I think we settled on a Disney marathon, or something like that, and um…well, it was late, and you never could make it past one movie without falling asleep. I think you, er…I think you passed out right around the wishing well part, actually." Jemma couldn't tell if it was a trick of the light, but the tips of Fitz's ears seemed to turn red as he continued, still staring studiously at the tablet in front of him. "But I, uh…I kept it on anyways and got out my old notebook, and…well…that happened," he said, gesturing towards the disassembled D.W.A.R.F. "And I finished the sketch about near the end, and I don't know, I guess I just…well, actually, you scared the living daylights out of me because, um, well because you woke up the same time Snow did." He shook his head, almost as if he were coming out of a daze, and when he spoke again, the lightheartedness she'd momentarily heard in his voice was gone. "But uh, that's…that's how the name came about, I-I suppose," he finished quietly.

Jemma stood still, the edges of her vision blurring as she stared at him. There were so many thoughts swirling through her head, so many things she wanted to latch onto but couldn't figure out how. Because everything she wanted to talk about, how he'd just said the longest thing she'd heard him say since he'd come out of his coma, how he'd only stumbled over his words once or twice the entire time, how she was so proud of him for trying to relearn how to use his old inventions, how her heart ached at hearing him talk about days that felt like a lifetime ago, were not the things she was allowed to talk about. Instead she honed in on the safest response she could find in the midst of her surprise.

"You've never told me that before."

Fitz's hands froze momentarily, but he managed to give her a shrug without looking up. "It was a long time ago," he said softly, lifting the D.W.A.R.F. so it rested in his palm. Jemma watched him for a few more seconds before she headed over to the opposite lab bench, blinking back the tears that had inexplicably risen to the surface. Whatever had prompted him to speak earlier, whatever had distracted him long enough to forget why he now hated her, was gone again. She figured they would both be better off if she didn't try to smother him.

"You know, they're bringing the D.W.A.R.F.s back from the safe house," she said lightly, grabbing two gloves from the box and pulling them on. "The one in Belgium? Hopefully they'll be able to give us more information on…on what happened." Jemma felt a heaviness in her chest, especially when she thought about all those poor S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that had died. She couldn't tell from across the room, but she thought she saw a flash of anger pass over Fitz's face as well.

"Yeah?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"Yeah," she nodded, once again finding herself at a loss for words. Because she knew that whatever she said, however much she tried to convince him of the opposite, he would believe those lives were on him. It didn't matter that he'd figured it out eventually, or that if he hadn't spotted those similarities they would have lost even more lives, perhaps even those of May or Bobbi. He would still punish himself for not solving it sooner. He would still blame himself for not getting the information to Coulson on time. And nothing Jemma could say would make any difference.

But she needed to at least say something. The pain in his eyes was nearly unbearable.

Just then, Jemma heard the lab doors creak open, and she broke away from Fitz's gaze to greet their newest visitor.

"Bobbi," she said, her voice nearly coming out in a squeak as she placed her hands on her waist. She focused all of her energy to keep from cringing, knowing she'd just wasted a perfectly good pair of gloves. "What…what brings you to the lab so early this morning?"

The amused expression on Bobbi's face told Jemma that she'd only succeeded in looking like an idiot, but her smile was good-natured. "Not that I didn't want to come say hi," she prefaced as she reached into her pocket. "But actually, my, uh, my comms were acting a little wonky earlier," she explained, holding out the earpiece in her palm. "And I was told this would be the place to go to get 'em looked at."

Out of habit, Jemma was about to grab onto the small object, but she stopped herself. "Actually, this is not really my area of expertise," she said, turning around. "Fitz?"

Fitz had gone back to inspecting Snow, but he looked up distractedly upon hearing his name. Jemma gestured towards the comm. "Do you think you could…?"

His eyes traveled to Bobbi's hands, and he slowly got out of his seat to make his way over to them. He stared at the comm for a second before pointing to it. "Do you mind if I…" he murmured, looking up at her for permission.

"Knock yourself out," Bobbi replied, holding her hand out for him.

Fitz gingerly grasped onto the earpiece and turned it over in his palm. "And, er…what's…" He tapped his foot quietly on the floor, and though it wasn't distracting, Jemma noticed. "What's…wrong with it now?"

Bobbi folded her arms. "Nothing too crazy, it just went in and out a couple times out there." She watched him as he brought the comm over to the lab bench, and she waited a few seconds while he inspected the device. "So do you think you can fix it?"

Fitz nodded, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to either of them anymore. "Yeah, yeah," he murmured. "I just have to…well, then it's got to be…should repurpose...I'll just…" His voice trailed off as he picked up the earpiece and promptly exited through the side doors without so much as a backward glance.

Bobbi pointed after him, her burrow furrowed in confusion as she turned to Jemma. "Is he always so…chatty?" she laughed before closing her eyes. "Oh…God," she shook her head. "I'm sorry, that was-"

"It's fine, Bobbi," Jemma insisted, giving her a smile. "Actually," she said as she removed her freshly contaminated gloves, "compared to when we first met, this is talkative for him."

Bobbi studied Jemma's face, as if she were trying to spot a lie. "No kidding," she smirked, leaning against the lab bench.

"Yeah," Jemma nodded, smiling a little to herself despite the dull pang she felt in her chest. "He refused to even talk to me until we got paired together in chem lab. And even then, on our first day working together, I don't think he spoke more than a few words to me at all."

"Really?" Bobbi asked doubtfully, tilting her head to the side. "That's not what I heard."

"No, it's true," Jemma replied, tossing her gloves into the bin. "He hated me for the longest time, and…wait," she stopped, only just picking up on what Bobbi had said. "Hang on. What…what did you hear?"

"What?" Bobbi asked, her eyes widening before she looked away. "Uh…nothing, I was, it-it was something else I heard," she stammered, shaking her head before quickly moving along. "Got it…mixed up. So...so you were saying your first day working together was pretty rough, huh?"

Jemma almost laughed, but she was so bewildered by Bobbi's behavior that she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and act normally. "That would be an understatement," she responded, looking down at her hands. "Actually, it was quite embarrassing, if I'm being honest."

Bobbi placed her hand on the lab bench. "Embarrassing?" she asked in disbelief, and Jemma already regretted her choice of words. Because she'd seen that look on Bobbi's face before, many times when Skye had wheedled information out of her. "Okay, now you have to spill."

Jemma shook her head, closing her eyes as she rested her hands on her neck. "Oh, it's been ten years, and I'm still absolutely mortified by it," she winced. "And…and I'm sure you've got plenty of things that you have to-"

"Jemma."

She opened her eyes and sighed, knowing that it was her fault she'd even brought it up. Bobbi simply continued to smirk at her with her arms folded over her chest. Jemma didn't even have to remember their encounter at HYDRA to know that Bobbi wouldn't back down until she'd gotten the story.

"Oh, all right," Jemma groaned.