A/N: This chapter contains a few references to recent episodes of Doctor Who ("Listen" and "Death in Heaven" specifically), but it's not necessary to have seen them in order to understand the story.
PRESENT DAY
The hours crawled by agonizingly slowly in the lab that day, the uncomfortable silence only perforated by a few short remarks here and there about their progress. Jemma did her best to concentrate on the task they'd been given, knowing that Coulson was relying on them to minimize the damage HYDRA could cause with the Splinter Bombs. But by the time mid-afternoon rolled around and neither of them were any closer to figuring out how to reverse engineer the weapons, Jemma felt more and more hopeless, and not just with the mission.
It wasn't like she'd never worked in silence with Fitz before. They'd spent so much time together throughout the years that silence between them was as easy as breathing, as natural as when they were speaking to each other a mile a minute. Even back at the Academy, they'd been able to while away the hours together without having to say a word at all, and when they did resume speaking it would be as if they'd never stopped. No, spending time with Fitz in silence was hardly a new experience for Jemma.
But this silence was different. This silence hovered over the lab like a relentless companion, suffocating Jemma to the point where she thought she might scream if she had to endure it for much longer. This silence echoed with all of the words she couldn't voice. Because even if she could say everything that she was keeping inside, it wouldn't matter.
Because she wasn't entirely certain this silence was one that could be broken with words.
In a way, she was almost thankful when she heard Fitz start cursing under his breath. It gave her an excuse to approach his side of the lab, although she still made sure to keep a safe distance away from him. Besides not being too keen on getting her hand pushed away again, the last thing she wanted to do was give him any additional stress.
"How's it coming over here?" she asked hesitantly, trying hard not to flinch when Fitz threw his screwdriver down on the table. His irritation seemed to stem from the weapon anyway, so Jemma cautiously stepped closer to him.
"It's not…" he sighed as he paced in front of the table, one hand gripping his waist tightly and the other pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can't get the…the…I haven't been able to…to…"
Jemma knew she was probably only going to make him more frustrated, but she had to try to help him. It killed her to see him struggle to get the words out. "Disable the adapter casing," she nodded, her eyes traveling to the area of the weapon he was gesturing helplessly towards.
He shook his head, continuing to pace in front of her. "No," he murmured. "It isn't doing the…I haven't-I haven't been able to…"
"Find the switching unit?" Jemma guessed, her voice losing its confidence with every passing second.
"No," he replied, shaking his head more vigorously. "No, it's the…the…I h-haven't been able to-"
Jemma tried to bite her tongue, because he needed to find the words on his own. But there were some habits she hadn't quite broken yet. "Extrapolate the weapon's foreign components?"
"No!" Fitz groaned, stopping short to rest his fists on the table. Jemma really did flinch this time, but Fitz had his eyes closed as he pressed his already white knuckles into the surface. "Wait, yeah," he breathed, straightening up quickly and meeting her eyes for the first time since she'd approached him. "Yeah."
Jemma was so surprised by his sudden change in tone and the hopefulness in his expression that she nearly forgot what she'd said that had miraculously been correct. "So…" she said slowly, making sure to choose her words carefully. "You're saying that…you haven't been able to determine where the alien tech in the weapon merges with what's manmade?"
"Yes," he whispered, almost desperately, his eyes glistening with the relief that she'd finally been able to understand what he was trying to say. Jemma had to restrain herself from closing the distance between them and flinging her arms around him, knowing that she had to savor the small victories on her own for now. Instead she settled for trying to give him her sincerest smile.
The smile he gave her in return was small and fleeting, but it was still there. Fitz turned his attention back to the Splinter Bomb. "And…and the reason I haven't been able to do that," he said, lightly snapping his fingers in the general direction of the weapon. "Is because…because it's not…i-it's not…I mean because right here it's been-"
"Fused together?" Jemma supplied.
"Uh…" Fitz shook his head apologetically. "N-no…it's because it's…" He trailed off, looking at her expectantly, but Jemma couldn't do it again. She couldn't bear getting it wrong one more time, not when she'd gotten it right after so many tries. But she plastered an encouraging smile on her face to let him know it was okay for him to take his time. And if anyone had had the nerve at that moment to come into the lab and tell them time was not on their side, Jemma would have had a few choice words for them, words that she would have had no trouble unleashing.
Fitz breathed out slowly, looking down at the ground. "I haven't been able to because it's…because it's…" His voice grew quieter, and Jemma couldn't quite decipher what he was muttering under his breath. He seemed to be testing out the words on his lips, as if they were foreign to him or he needed to hear them out loud to know if they were the right ones. Finally his head snapped up again. "Dor-dormant," he stammered, his face betraying how terrified he was of making a mistake.
"Oh, of course," Jemma replied quickly, more than a little relieved that she actually did understand. "Because the Splinter Bomb's not active right now, you can't find the area where the Obelisk's power has been incorporated."
"Yeah," he nodded, reaching a hand up to scratch behind his ear. "Or find the, um…find the t…trigger."
"Well, I'm sure we can work that out, Fitz," Jemma declared as she looked at the small disc resting on the table. It was hard for her to believe that such a small thing could cause so much damage and destruction. Then again, she'd nearly lost her life to something alien that she hadn't been able to see at all. That ordeal seemed like ages ago to her now, even if the sensation of falling still managed to find its way into her nightmares.
Jemma cleared her throat, not wanting to dwell on things that didn't matter anymore. "In fact, I think I might be able to-"
But she didn't get to finish her sentence, because at that moment Fitz's attention was directed to something over her shoulder. "Mack," he said quietly, sidestepping past Jemma to get to the door behind her. Jemma didn't really know why she felt tense all of a sudden, but she tried to keep her expression neutral as she spun around.
Mack had paused at the open doorway, his gaze traveling from Fitz to Jemma to the Splinter Bomb lying on the table. "Sorry, Fitz," he apologized, shaking his head. "Coulson asked to see me, and he's not the kinda person you wanna keep waiting, you know what I mean?"
Fitz moved closer to the door. "But couldn't you stay and help out with the…" He simply gestured vaguely behind him, probably hoping Mack would catch on.
"With that thing?" Mack asked incredulously. "Hey, I'm a mechanic," he chuckled, holding up his hands. "You give me a car, mobile command station, Quinjet, whatever. I'm your guy. But all that alien mumbo jumbo stuff?" He shook his head again, breathing in sharply. "I saw the footage from New York, man. That was some pretty messed up crap right there. And you guys have way more experience with this kinda stuff than I do. You'll figure it out faster without me in your way, trust me."
"But-"
"Look, I gotta stay on the boss man's good side if I ever want to even go near Lola, all right?" Mack laughed, tapping the lab door before pointing to Fitz. "You can do this, Turbo," he said as he headed down the hallway and called over his shoulder. "I believe in you."
Jemma wasn't quite sure where the strange nickname for Fitz had come from, but she was more concerned with the slump in Fitz's shoulders (and, of course, with the previously mentioned weapon directly in front of her). She averted her eyes from the doorway, not wanting Fitz to feel like she was watching him, and leaned in towards the table to inspect the Splinter Bomb.
She hadn't realized that she'd unconsciously reached her hand out towards the weapon until Fitz was at her side. "No, Jem-Jemma, stop," he said quickly, his voice tinged with panic. He didn't push her hand away this time, but he held out his arm between her and the Bomb. "All right? Please…don't touch it."
"I think it's fine, though, Fitz," she replied gently, pointing to the object. "The Obelisk kills anyone who touches it, right?"
Fitz simply stared at her with wide eyes, and she realized that while her explanation made sense to her, it would hardly make sense to anyone who hadn't followed her train of thought. "From what limited information I was able to obtain from Agent Hartley's medical report," she explained, "it appears as if the oh-eight-four is able to somehow send powerful electric currents through the body. It starts with numbing the afflicted area instantly, and then spreads outwards from there until the victim is…" Jemma hesitated for a moment, trying and failing to find a word that didn't make her want to vomit. "Until the victim is incinerated."
She moved on quickly, noticing the drained color in Fitz's face. "And yes. These Splinter Bombs are somehow able to replicate the Obelisk's petrifying power. But in all of the security tapes, Scarlotti isn't wearing any gloves," she insisted. "Which suggests that even though the weapons are derived from the Obelisk, they aren't lethal in and of themselves."
Fitz didn't remove his arm. "Yeah, but…but there's still a blade in there."
"I can handle a blade," Jemma smirked, earning a long sigh in response.
"Okay, I-I know I've said this before," Fitz told her, closing his eyes for a second. "But tossing a knife to Trip one time does not count as-"
"Oh, whatever, Fitz," Jemma scoffed in annoyance, although she was secretly glad he felt comfortable enough to start teasing her again. "Need I remind you that I have performed autopsies before, which requires careful precision with-"
"That's not the point, Jemma," Fitz groaned, but she thought she saw the hint of a smile.
"You're right," Jemma nodded, realizing that they shouldn't be wasting time on a petty argument. "The point is that even though the Obelisk is predisposed to disintegrate anything organic that it comes into contact with, Scarlotti and the other HYDRA mercenaries were able to touch the Splinter Bombs without consequence."
Fitz sighed again. "All the same, I think it'd be better if…c-could you just wait until we figure out how the…I mean, how it…how it…works? Please."
Jemma decided for the sake of time and her own sanity to let him win this one. "Fine," she relented, taking a step back from the table. "Where do you suggest we start?"
And for just a split second, the blank expression she received in reply was like looking through a time machine, back to that fateful night all those years ago when he'd convinced her to take a chance. She knew he was remembering it too, knew he was also wondering what might have happened if he'd simply left, if he hadn't said those words, if they'd just given up.
What she didn't know was if he regretted it, or if he was wondering if he'd have been better off if they actually had given up. What she didn't know was if he would have been safe, or healthy, or happy at this very moment if she'd just said no that night. What she didn't know haunted her every day.
But it was only a second, and then Fitz wasn't looking at her anymore. "Uh…I was thinking that…that maybe the Bombs have some sort of…that they might have a…that they might have a…"
Jemma watched him helplessly, her heart breaking as she saw how distressed he was. In all the years she'd known him, he'd only ever started shaking when he was really upset, when he felt he'd lost control. Before the med pod, she could've counted all those times on one hand. Now she had to see that frustration, that powerlessness, almost constantly. It was bad enough to see him struggle with his words. It was worse to know that the only reason he couldn't find them was because of her.
Jemma kept her mouth shut this time. She needed to let him finish on his own.
"It's an, er…" Fitz continued, stopping mid-pace and holding out his hands in front of him. "I think it might have an…ac-activation mechanism."
Jemma glanced over at the Splinter Bomb, knowing that despite the uncertainty in his voice he was probably right. "What, like a timer?" she murmured, looking to him for confirmation.
"Yeah," he sighed, and Jemma didn't think he could have sounded more exhausted if he'd just run a marathon. "I mean…m-maybe," he corrected himself, shaking his head. "I don't know."
"No, I think you've got it, Fitz," Jemma assured him as she headed back to her computer. "They do call it a Bomb, don't they? Come take a look a this."
She quickly pulled up the surveillance tape from the S.H.I.E.L.D. safe house in Belgium, fast-forwarding to the part she needed. Fitz's footsteps were quiet as he walked up to stand behind her, but she would've known he was there anyway. She'd always been able to tell where he was in relation to her. This time he stood a little farther away than he was normally inclined to, but Jemma figured that that was to be expected under their current circumstances.
"Okay, so here we've got Scarlotti's men holding down Agent Walters," Jemma explained, glancing behind her to see if Fitz was paying attention. "And Scarlotti is about to do Lord knows what to her with that knife of his, but-" She stopped talking abruptly, noticing that Fitz had looked away from the screen with a wince on his face. "No, watch this bit, Fitz, it's the best part," she smiled. "He doesn't get anywhere with her that way because she literally slams her head into his."
"Good for her," Fitz muttered. "Doesn't she get incinerated for it, though?"
Jemma's smile disappeared. "Yes, well…from what I've come across on Scarlotti, he likes to take his time," she said quietly, remembering the first and only time she hadn't muted the security footage. "I'd have chosen the Splinter Bomb over the knife too."
Fitz didn't say anything or try to touch her, but she thought she heard him take a step closer to the back of her chair. It helped a little, because Jemma absolutely hated watching the next part.
"Now, the angle of the camera makes it difficult to ascertain how Scarlotti actually activates the Bomb," she explained, resuming the video. "It appears as if he just sort of…I don't know, shoves it into her side, and then it goes off. But then he moves away and…" Jemma trailed off, letting the footage speak for itself. She snuck a glance at Fitz, and was only somewhat surprised to see that he was leaning so far forward that his chin was almost resting on her shoulder. If she was honest, though, she was more surprised that he wasn't grimacing at the stomach-turning spectacle in front of him.
"Wait," he murmured, pointing to the screen. "Could…could you, er…could you go back?"
"Um…sure," Jemma replied, slowly rewinding the tape. "Fitz, did you see something?"
"I don't…" he mumbled, his focus on the display. "Wait, yeah," he said suddenly. "There."
Jemma immediately clicked the pause button, but she still didn't know what Fitz was talking about. He indicated the Splinter Bomb, which had just started to burrow its way into Agent Walter's ribcage. "Do you think you can, um…zoom in on that?"
Excited that Fitz seemed to be on the verge of an important discovery, Jemma found the zoom feature and made the Bomb as large as she could without sacrificing the resolution. The viewpoint was at such an angle that only the Bomb's bladed edge could be seen, but Fitz seemed to be pointing instead to Agent Walter's side, about a hair's breadth away from the Bomb itself.
"There," he repeated, looking between Jemma and the screen. "Do…do you see that?"
Jemma squinted at the display, desperate to see what he was seeing. Eventually she shook her head. "What, the Bomb?" she asked weakly. "I don't…"
"No, it's…" he said, tapping the same spot on the screen almost frantically. But after a few seconds he must have seen her bewildered expression and realized she didn't understand, because he groaned and began pacing behind her chair.
"Is it the blade?" Jemma tried again. "The point of contact, the-"
Fitz held out a hand towards her. "No, Jemma, just…" he sighed, and she closed her mouth. He stood still with his eyes shut for a while before he eventually shook his head. "What, um…do you have the…do you have the other one?"
Jemma glanced at the screen and then back at Fitz. "The other attack, you mean?" she asked. "The one at the UN?"
"Yeah," Fitz nodded distractedly, looking deep in thought. "Yeah."
"Hang on, I've got it right here."
Jemma hurriedly pulled up the footage from the UN's Headquarters. "All right, we'll just skip through Talbot's spiel…" she muttered, trying to find the timestamp she needed. She knew that the general was on better terms with S.H.I.E.L.D. at the moment, but that didn't make her forget about how he'd tried to intimidate her and the rest of the team back at Providence. And, of course, his speech wasn't really relevant to what they were looking for.
"Okay, and here we have Dioli standing up to challenge Talbot's claims," Jemma explained, letting the video play. "And then…out of the blue." She paused the tape and pointed to the Splinter Bomb that had embedded itself into the Italian representative's chest. "Are you seeing what you saw earlier?"
Fitz was staring at the screen. "Yeah, um…I think so, it's just…I need to see-"
"I'll zoom in again," Jemma said, and after a few clicks the Bomb took up nearly the entire display.
"Right," Fitz murmured, his finger hovering over the outer edges of the disc. "Er…do you think you could go back and, um…slow it down?"
Jemma didn't really know what Fitz was searching for, but she trusted that he knew what he was talking about. She rewound the file, adjusting the settings to play back at half the original speed. This time they watched the Bomb come into the shot in slow motion, and right before it hit Dioli's chest, Jemma gasped.
"There," Fitz said breathlessly, and she could sense that he was searching her face. "You saw that, didn't you?"
Jemma slowly turned her head towards him, and Fitz must have seen the recognition in her eyes because his shoulders sank forward with relief. "So…"
She grinned up at him. "I'll find something organic," she said, getting out of her seat.
Fitz pointed in the opposite direction. "I'll set up the Echo Chamber."
Fifteen minutes and a few awkward explanations later, Jemma entered the Bus's cargo hold carrying two potted ferns. As she set them down next to the ficus she'd already placed by the staircase, Fitz came in with the Splinter Bomb's containment case. He only spared a passing glance to the assortment of vegetation she'd brought in. "Not even gonna ask where you found those," he murmured, shaking his head as he brought up the Echo Chamber.
Jemma stepped forward to hand him the microchip for the video files. "Where is everyone?" she mused, trying not to let her gaze linger too long on the space that had once been her and Fitz's lab.
Fitz was inspecting the tablet in his hands. "Um…well, Coulson told us he sent a team off to go get Ward, yeah?" he said in a voice that was a bit too calm. "And everybody else?" he sighed. "Well, it's after five on a Sunday. My guess is they're off for the night."
Jemma glanced down at her watch in shock. "It's already past five?" she repeated, the alarm bells starting to go off in her head. "Fitz, you haven't eaten anything all day."
Fitz didn't look at her, but she saw the tense outline of his jaw and knew he didn't want to talk about it. "Neither have you," he muttered stubbornly.
"Fitz!" Jemma cried, furious with herself that she hadn't forced him to take a break earlier. He'd always been self-motivated when it came to getting food into his system. "You know that-"
"Jemma," he sighed, still refusing to look her way. "Let's…let's just get this done first, okay?"
For a moment, Jemma briefly considered walking over to the Holotable and grabbing something out of Fitz's secret stash of sweets in the third drawer. But that was until she realized it probably wasn't there anymore. "Fine," she conceded. "But if you collapse on me out here, Fitz, I swear-"
"Yep, fine, got it," Fitz said quickly, and before Jemma had a chance to respond, they were suddenly surrounded by a holographic projection of the UN attack. She looked around in amazement, always stunned by how the program was able to render a three-dimensional image from two-dimensional data. She crossed over to stand next to the projection of Dioli and pointed to the spot on his chest she knew was going to get hit.
"All right, so if we send in the Bomb at the same speed we used earlier-"
"Yeah, we should be able to see-"
"The weapon's activation mechanism."
Fitz initiated playback as he walked up to Jemma, standing across from her on the other side of Dioli. When the weapon came into view from the opposite end of the Chamber, Jemma and Fitz turned their heads at the same time to follow the Bomb's trajectory. And just as it passed between them, the symbols around the outer edge began to light up one at a time. Fitz paused the video once the entire edge was glowing yellow, and reached a hand out to lower the disc.
"You were right, Fitz," Jemma breathed, a smile spreading across her face.
Fitz was still staring at the projection of the Bomb, his eyes out of focus. "I…I'm not sure if it…"
"No, look," Jemma insisted, pointing to the bright symbols. "The activation mechanism is triggered upon the weapon being thrown. And the edge lights up as the timer goes off."
"Yeah, but…" he sighed, shaking his head. "It doesn't…he doesn't, or he didn't-"
"Didn't throw it at the safe house," Jemma reluctantly agreed as she saw the flaw in their theory. "So…does that mean there's more than one activation mechanism?"
"Maybe," Fitz shrugged, as if he didn't trust himself. "It'd make sense, though, wouldn't it?"
"All right, well bring up the other file," she told him, gesturing to the tablet. "We can probably see it better in here anyway."
Fitz minimized the current video feed, and soon the images around them faded to give way to the foyer of the safe house. Jemma circled around Fitz to stand near the point of attack, where the HYDRA agents were clustered together. "Okay, you be Scarlotti," she said as she positioned herself in the right location.
"I don't wanna be Scarlotti," Fitz grumbled in protest.
Jemma rolled her eyes. "Fine, then," she scoffed, stepping away from the projected wall. "You can be Agent Walters."
Fitz opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Wh…why do I have to be anyone?" he asked, pointedly remaining in the same spot.
Jemma forced down a groan. "You know what? Forget it. Just come over here and stand where Scarlotti is standing," she replied with affected patience. "So we can see how he activates the Bomb, and so we'll actually have something to tell Coulson today."
Fitz continued to mumble to himself as he moved to stand in Scarlotti's position. Jemma saw his hesitation and gave him a smirk. "I promise I won't do the part where she rams her head into his."
He was still avoiding her eyes, though. "Yeah, I think I've had enough head injuries, thanks," he muttered.
"Oh," Jemma winced, utterly ashamed of herself. "Oh, Fitz, I-"
"Jemma, I know you were joking, all right?" he assured her wearily. "It's fine."
"No, that one was really bad, Fitz," she said, using all of her self-restraint not to place her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry."
"I said it was fine," he replied brusquely. "Let's just get this over with, yeah?"
Jemma looked down at her hands for a few seconds, feeling a burn in her cheeks. "Right," she nodded, before taking a deep breath. But Fitz was engrossed in the tablet in his hands, getting to the relevant part of the video file. When he was finished he placed the tablet on the ground next to him, and as he tapped the play button, the scene around them came to life.
What happened next was one of the strangest experiences of Jemma's entire life. Because she was staring into the face of a man she knew had done unspeakable things, a man she'd actually seen do unspeakable things, and he was looking at her with a disgust she didn't think she'd ever been looked at before.
And at the same exact time, she was also staring into the face of her best friend.
In her head, she knew the knife was Scarlotti's, and she knew the disgust in his expression was not meant for her. But even though Fitz wasn't looking at her with outright revulsion, she couldn't help but see the pain in his eyes and wonder if the hatred she was seeing was Scarlotti's alone.
It was such a surreal moment that Jemma found herself completely speechless as the attack unfolded. Jemma knew she wasn't really there. Consciously, she knew that. But she was so terrified in that instant, terrified for Agent Walters, terrified for what was about to happen even though she'd watched it dozens of times, that logically explaining it would not have been possible.
And despite the fact that the video was playing in slow motion, Jemma still gasped when Scarlotti shoved the Splinter Bomb into her side (or, more accurately, into Agent Walter's side). She stared down at the weapon protruding from her ribcage, noticing that Fitz's hand hovered just over the blade with Scarlotti's. She saw the click, the subsequent whirr, the symbols, everything. And she knew Fitz did, too. The answer was literally right in front of their faces.
She wasn't sure if it was a conscious decision or not, when Fitz took a step backward the same time Scarlotti did. Like her, he seemed to be in a sort of trance, probably also confused at seeing someone else's projected image over her body. As Scarlotti turned around and walked away, though, Fitz remained rooted to the spot. And maybe it was Jemma's imagination, but she thought she saw the ghost of Scarlotti's hatred still in his eyes.
But that wasn't the worst part.
No, the worst part was when the video kept playing, still in slow motion. The tablet rested a few feet away, but Fitz didn't pick it up immediately. He simply stared at Jemma as the Splinter Bomb sank deeper into Agent Walter's side, while Jemma found herself frozen in place. She wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to do something other than to watch helplessly. But no matter how slowly it happened and no matter how much she wanted to help, she knew that she was powerless.
So the video played on, with Jemma and Fitz watching in silence as the weapon did its work. And when all that was left of Agent Walters settled into dust at Jemma's feet, she released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in, nearly sinking to her knees from the shock. Fitz seemed to come out of his stupor as well, and leaned over to grab the tablet off the floor.
Jemma wasn't sure what had just happened in that Echo Chamber. All she knew was that she very much did not want to talk about it, and she had a pretty strong feeling that Fitz wouldn't want to talk about it either. So after an uncomfortable pause, she cleared her throat, only to find that Fitz began speaking the same time she did.
"So you saw the-"
"Did you see the-"
They both stopped talking abruptly, and Jemma let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, of course you did," she dismissed. "So we should-"
"Yeah, I'll get the-"
"And I'll get the-"
"Yep."
Jemma glanced away from him and hurried over towards the spiral staircase, picking up one of the potted ferns. Fitz turned off the Echo Chamber and brought the Splinter Bomb's containment case over to one end of the cargo hold, while Jemma set the plant down on the other side. When she joined him again, he was pulling on a pair of gloves before carefully extracting the weapon from the case.
"Did you want me to-"
"No, I've got it, Jemma," he murmured, keeping his eyes fixed on his hands.
Jemma followed him to the middle of the cargo hold until they were both standing about fifteen feet away from the fern. "And the weapon can be used more than once, right?" she asked.
"Yeah, um…because it's-"
"Right, I was just checking," Jemma said quickly, not wanting to take Fitz's focus away from what he was about to do.
Fitz remained in the same position for a few more seconds, still staring at his hands. Eventually he looked at her uncertainly. "Maybe…maybe it'd actually be better if you-"
"You can do it, Fitz," Jemma smiled. "Or are you forgetting which one of us actually passed the marksmanship portion of our field assessments?"
If anything, Fitz looked even less confident than he had a second ago. "Yeah, but that was before-"
"Look, it's not a big deal if you're off a bit," she assured him, realizing it'd been a mistake for her to mention anything from before. "The Bombs only affect organic material, right? So if you miss, it's no harm, no foul. But I don't think you will."
Fitz exhaled slowly, bouncing a little as he shook out his right hand. If their circumstances had been any different, Jemma might have laughed at how nervous he looked preparing for such a simple task. But their circumstances were not different, and there was a deadly weapon in Fitz's hands, and he was afraid that he was going to fail, and she couldn't tell him how much faith she had in him because he would never believe her. So instead she kept the encouraging smile on her face, and stood as close to him as she dared to, hoping that that would be enough.
When he finally threw the Splinter Bomb across the cargo hold, a lot of things happened at once. As suspected, the weapon lit up as it spun, the symbols giving off the same yellow glow she and Fitz had seen on the surveillance footage. Just as the Bomb left Fitz's hand, though, Jemma heard footsteps on the cargo ramp behind her.
"Aww, are you two playing Frisbee?"
Skye's question was immediately followed by the sound of the blade embedding itself into the fern's stem. And right before their eyes, the entire plant disintegrated, leaving behind an empty pot surrounded by dust. Skye walked up to stand on Jemma's opposite side, her mouth hanging open at the spectacle before her. But in the end, she was actually the one to break the silence.
"Remind me never to play Frisbee with you guys," she said, her eyes still transfixed on the pot. "Like, ever."
Fitz looked over at Skye in confusion and pointed to the incinerated plant. "You know that was actually-"
"Yeah, I know, Fitz," Skye smirked, rolling her eyes. "It just felt like the moment needed a little lightening, okay?" She sighed and turned to face them. "So how many ferns have you guys murdered today?"
"Just the one," Fitz replied quickly before walking over to retrieve the Splinter Bomb.
"And hopefully the only one," Jemma added, holding up a finger. "That is, if our theory turns out to be correct. Fitz, are you going to grab the-"
"Yeah, I'll get it," Fitz nodded as he gingerly placed the Bomb back in the open containment case. Jemma waited until he disappeared into the Bus's supply room before she placed a hand on Skye's arm.
"How are you doing?" she asked gently.
Skye looked at her curiously for a moment, but she eventually gave Jemma a teasing smile. "I'm doing just swell, Simmons," she chuckled.
Jemma didn't return the smile. "You know what I'm talking about, Skye," she continued, lowering her voice just in case Fitz returned too fast. "Are you all right?"
Skye's expression faltered, but Jemma was grateful that she wasn't trying to hide her feelings as much anymore. "I'll be fine," Skye promised. "Don't worry about me. Although I gotta say, I could really use some good news right about now."
"So no word then?"
"Not yet," Skye shook her head. "But they'll find him," she reassured Jemma. "May's out there."
"Right," Jemma replied quietly, remembering that Bobbi and Trip were also on the team that went to find Ward. She searched around for a change of subject, and her face broke into a relieved smile when Fitz came back into the hold. "Well, we might just have a bit of good news now."
"I grabbed a few just in case," Fitz told her, holding out his palm. Jemma took the small devices out of his hand before setting up the remaining fern.
Skye pointed to the last plant by the staircase. "What about that one?"
"The ficus?" Jemma asked, watching Fitz pick up the weapon again. "Oh, that's simply for emergency purposes."
Skye snorted. "Only you two would have an emergency ficus," she muttered as she took her spot in their small line. "So what are you doing now?"
"You'll see," Jemma grinned. "All right, are you ready, Fitz?"
Fitz nodded over to her, only looking slightly more comfortable than he had earlier. "And you've got the-"
"Yep, right here," she said, showing him her palm. "These all have short ranges, right?"
"Oh yeah, no more than twenty feet," Fitz replied. "'Cause otherwise, that'd be…well, that'd be…bad."
"And we can't have that, now can we?"
The two of them nodded to each other before facing the fern again. Jemma focused on the device in her palm, even though she could see Skye fidgeting out of the corner of her eye.
"Wait, bad? I thought-"
But Fitz threw the Splinter Bomb just then, and the instant it left his hand Jemma pressed down on the button. The blade continued to whirr at full speed, but only a few of the symbols had the chance to glow before the light flickered and died, the entire thing lodging itself into the plant's stem. Jemma smiled after a few seconds when it became obvious that the fern wasn't going to start disintegrating.
"Should I even ask?" a weary voice spoke from near the cargo entrance.
All three of them spun around to see Coulson taking in the sight before him with an expression of mixed amusement and suspicion. Jemma felt the strange urge to laugh, knowing that despite the fact that she and Fitz had known what they were doing, the experiment probably looked questionable to the director.
"Sir, you're just in time," she said, her voice coming out a bit higher than she would've liked. "I think we've managed to find a way to counteract the Splinter Bombs."
Coulson walked up the rest of the ramp, looking warily over Jemma's shoulder. "Does it involve my agents carrying around a bunch of shrubbery?"
"What?" Jemma murmured, wondering how on earth he'd drawn that strange conclusion. But then she saw the fern on the other side of the hold. "Oh," she laughed, shaking her head. "No, sir. Just an EMP device."
"An EMP?" Coulson repeated, folding his arms. "I thought these weapons ran on alien tech."
"They do," Fitz piped up. "But they, er…they rely on elec…electricity."
Jemma gave him an encouraging nod before turning back to Coulson. "So far, we've been able to identify two activation mechanisms on the Bombs. One uses built-in motion sensors to detect when it's been thrown, and the other is just your run-of-the-mill manual switch located in the center of the disc." Fitz worked on retrieving the weapon from the fern as she continued to explain. "But each of these mechanisms requires the use of electricity to deploy the Obelisk's petrifying factor, so they can still be disabled by an electromagnetic pulse."
Coulson didn't look particularly thrilled. "Sounds like a gamble, Simmons," he said uncertainly. "Besides, wouldn't it just be a temporary solution anyway?"
"You're right, sir," Jemma agreed. "And as long as Whitehall has the Obelisk, there's no way to guarantee he's not developing even more lethal weapons as we speak. This solution is temporary, true, but it's the only solution we have right now."
Coulson gave a long sigh. "So you're basically saying we need to get that Obelisk away from HYDRA yesterday."
Jemma grimaced. "Unfortunately, yes," she said quietly. "But you probably already knew that, sir."
Coulson exchanged a glance with Skye that Jemma didn't quite understand. "All right, good work, guys," he said, giving them each a curt nod. "Why don't you take the rest of the night off?"
Fitz busied himself with putting the Splinter Bomb in its containment case, and Jemma gestured vaguely to the Echo Chamber's corners.
"Oh, but there's still-"
"Yeah, um…it hasn't been-"
"It actually wasn't a suggestion," Coulson spoke, just loud enough for the two of them to fall silent. "With all the crap that's going on, I need everyone to be on their A game right now, all right? And that's not gonna happen when you two are overworking yourselves."
Jemma couldn't help but be struck by the dark irony of what Coulson had said, noticing the sharp crease in his forehead and the hunch in his shoulders that indicated he probably wasn't following his own advice. But she knew it would be pointless to argue with him. "Yes, sir," she nodded, casting her eyes downwards.
As soon as Coulson was out of earshot, Jemma turned to Skye. "He doesn't look so good, Skye," she murmured. "Do you think he's okay?"
"Yeah," Fitz spoke up from disassembling one of the poles of the Echo Chamber. "He looks a bit, er…on edge."
"Can you really blame him?" Skye asked, sounding pretty tired herself. "HYDRA's out there with a weapon to end all weapons, Ward's on the loose, and the general public probably thinks we're all still terrorists. It's not exactly a tranquil job."
"Well, yes, of course," Jemma replied. "But-"
"Look, I'll keep an eye on him, if it makes you feel any better," Skye assured them, nudging Jemma with her elbow before heading down the cargo ramp. "Now you guys need to just chill out, okay? Director's orders."
Jemma thought about making some sort of retaliation, but eventually decided against it. Instead she made her way over to the far end of the Echo Chamber, where she began taking down one of the remaining poles, partly as a way to have something to do and partly so she wouldn't have to talk to Fitz immediately. Now that they no longer had a task to work on, Jemma felt the silence seep back in between them.
She knew she had to talk to him. She knew she owed him an explanation for why she left, for everything she'd done in the months since he'd been hurt. She knew that until she talked to him, the distance they were keeping from each other would only continue to grow. The only problem was that she had absolutely no idea where to start.
It wasn't until she and Fitz had put away the last of the equipment that she finally took a breath, only to hear him do so at the same time.
"I think I need to-"
"Jemma, I-"
"Oh."
"Oh."
"Did you-"
"No, no, no, you can go first."
"Oh, it's not…I wasn't…that's quite all right, Fitz," she said brightly, although her voice was shaking a little. "What were you going to say?"
"Uh…well, I just, um…" Fitz stammered, not quite looking her in the eye. "I just wanted to, er…well, about last night, I'm sorry that I-"
"Last night?" Jemma repeated in confusion, but then she remembered. "Oh," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't be silly, Fitz. Besides, you looked like you were all having a fun time anyway, and with everything that's been happening, it was probably a good thing to relax for a bit."
Fitz didn't seem very convinced. "Well, sure, but-"
"I wasn't expecting anything, Fitz," Jemma said, hoping her smile was still intact. "I mean, I have been away for most of the current series anyway, so for all I know you could've jumped off the bandwagon in that time."
Jemma was relieved to see the beginnings of a smile on Fitz's face. "Not exactly," he said as they made their way back to the Playground.
"Yeah, I thought you'd quite like this new Doctor," Jemma grinned.
Fitz's eyebrows furrowed together, and Jemma had to stifle a laugh because of how in one look he'd basically confirmed her suspicions even more. "Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"
Jemma shook her head solemnly. "Absolutely nothing at all."
Before, Fitz might have tried to deny her implications or muttered something about the dangers of stereotyping. But now he simply grew quiet until they'd reached the kitchen, where they both had unconsciously gravitated towards. Without a word, Jemma set to work making a couple sandwiches while Fitz turned the electric kettle on and retrieved two mugs out of the cupboard. For a moment, Jemma could have sworn it was like how it used to be. For a moment, it seemed like it was just the two of them again, scrambling for food after a long day of working in the lab. But the illusion faded when Jemma saw the slight shake in Fitz's hands as he poured the tea.
He reached into the fridge and took out a carton. "So…" he cleared his throat, adding the milk to one of the mugs. "How, um…how was it?"
Jemma glanced over at him warily. "Pardon?"
"Oh, er…last night," he clarified as he got out the jar of sugar. "It was the, um…finale, yeah?"
"Oh," Jemma replied, not sure why she felt relieved. "Actually…I didn't end up watching it."
She had gone back to preparing the sandwiches, but she still saw Fitz pause in her peripheral vision. "Yeah?" he asked quietly.
"Well, it was late," Jemma shrugged, hoping she didn't sound too bothered. "I just decided to turn in for the night, is all." And before she could change her mind, she summoned up her courage. "If you want-"
"Did you want to-"
They both laughed nervously, realizing they'd been asking each other the same thing. "I mean, if you're up for it," she said, just in case he wanted to be away from her or hang out with Mack or something.
"No, no, that, um…that sounds…nice."
Jemma gave him a shy smile. "Okay, then," she nodded, turning back to the sandwiches. "Well, I'm almost done here."
Fitz slowly walked up to stand next to her, and set one of the mugs down for her before leaning back against the counter. "So, um…did you see the-"
"The nightmare one?" Jemma asked, perhaps a bit too loudly. "Yeah, that one was quite strange, wasn't it?"
"Yep, strange," Fitz replied quickly. "That's-that's what I was gonna say, too."
Jemma began putting away the ingredients, recalling the eerie episode she'd watched alone in her flat. "I mean, the idea of there being…creatures that exist only to listen to us when we talk to ourselves?" She shook her head. "I suppose theoretically it's a nice idea, but altogether it's hardly realistic. Or practical. Sometimes when you're talking to yourself, you're just talking to yourself, you know? Actually, if you think about it, it'd be rather creepy if something were really there. Wouldn't you agree?"
Jemma picked up the plates and turned around, only to see that Fitz was staring blankly into his tea, apparently lost in thought. "Hmm?" he murmured, looking up at her as he seemed to realize she'd stopped talking. "Oh," he nodded distractedly, avoiding her eyes while he took one of the plates. "Yeah. Creepy."
She smiled as they headed over the lounge area, but she could tell that while they seemed to have made progress that day, Fitz was starting to withdraw from her again. She couldn't determine if it was the subject matter she'd brought up or if it was just the stress of the day's events starting to fade, but he grew more and more quiet as the night went on.
Maybe it would feel awkward to watch Doctor Who with him again. After all, until recently they hadn't missed a single episode together. Maybe she would try to make conversation about something or other that happened, only to receive a short response in reply. Maybe they'd sit on opposite ends of the sofa this time, unsure of how close was too close anymore. Maybe she'd have to blink back tears at the end of the hour when a certain companion lied to a certain Doctor, letting him go in order to spare him pain. Maybe Jemma would have to excuse herself afterwards, waiting until she'd reached her bunk to let the tears spill over.
Maybe Fitz would start to avoid her more often, and maybe she would unconsciously start avoiding him as well. Maybe trying to work together had shown her that no matter how much she wanted things to return to normal, she had to accept that they'd both changed. Maybe she'd resolve to give him his space, to let him learn to do things without her smothering him, to let him form friendships with people that could give him what she never could. Maybe she would pour all of her focus into helping Coulson, to stopping HYDRA, not only to give herself something to do but also so she wouldn't have to be constantly reminded of how much she'd lost.
Maybe one day she'd tell Fitz why she'd left, when she could articulate her thoughts and when she could say the words without crying. Maybe one day he'd be able to look at her without pain in his eyes, and if she was lucky enough maybe one day he'd want to be friends with her again.
Eleven years later, and there were still a lot of maybes when it came to Leopold Fitz. Jemma knew deep down that things could never return to the way they'd been. She also knew that trying to repair her friendship with this unpredictable Scotsman, someone who'd tried to give up his life for her, who struggled constantly against an affliction he only had because of her, who'd given her everything and asked for nothing in return, would be a risk. After all, it'd been a risk all those years ago when he'd convinced her to fix their ruined project.
But as they sat on opposite sides of the sofa and watched Doctor Who together, Jemma couldn't help but notice the empty plate that had held his favorite sandwich. And despite everything, she knew that if she could go back to that night at the Academy, she wouldn't have changed anything. Because despite everything, he was still her best friend in the world and she couldn't even fathom her life without him in it. So maybe things would be difficult for a while. Maybe things would never stop being difficult. But if Jemma had learned anything in the last decade, she knew that the risk was worth it.
Maybe, just maybe, she and Fitz would be okay.
FIN
A/N: It feels like I say this with every story, but the response I've received regarding Splinter has absolutely blown me away. I can't thank everyone enough for taking the time to read my take on the FitzSimmons origin story, and for those of you that have left such beautiful reviews (which is every single reviewer), I cannot tell you how encouraging your words have been. This thing has turned out to be much bigger than I could have ever imagined, and even though it's bittersweet for me to reach the ending, I'm excited to see where the show takes FitzSimmons.
I apologize if the ending is not particularly fluffy - as much as I wanted to write more fluff, I also wanted to make sure the story fit believably in between A Fractured House and The Writing on the Wall. But when it boils down to it, FitzSimmons will always be FitzSimmons, so I hope that the final chapter wasn't a complete disappointment.
Below is the track listing for the soundtrack, which can be found on 8tracks (under the username msdevindanielle). These are just a collection of songs that I was inspired by while writing this. It's in some semblance of a chronological order, but most of the songs can be applied to more than one scene/character, so feel free to make your own interpretations.
1. Marvel Studios Fanfare - Brian Tyler
2. Birds of a Feather - The Civil Wars
3. After The Fall - Kodaline
4. Sights - London Grammar
5. The Silence - Bastille
6. Youth - Foxes
7. Us - Bim
8. Lanterns - Birds of Tokyo
9. Mars - Sleeping at Last
10. Through the Dark - One Direction
11. Faces - Lene Marlin
12. For the First Time - Boyce Avenue
13. The Call - Regina Spektor
14. Hills to Climb - Tim Myers
15. Together or Not at All - The Song of Amy and Rory - Murray Gold
Thank you again so much for reading, from the bottom of my heart!
Much love,
MsDevinDanielle