A/N: All the big love for this story - wow! It makes me giddy. Thank you so much, peops! Now, the much-needed Jess & Rory talk...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 3

If there was one thing Jess was never comfortable doing, it was talking about his feelings. Actually for the most part, he didn't like talking full stop, not about anything that mattered. With Rory at least he knew how to string a sentence together, but most of their conversations had been about books, movies, music. Real talking about feelings and emotions, that wasn't anything Jess was good at and for the most part Rory never pushed him into it. Now he ought to be telling her more than just sorry, more than just the tale of Jimmy Mariano and a trip to California. He should be telling Rory the whole truth, how she made him feel worthless sometimes, how he had a happy knack of assuming he was a jerk even when she was never saying that, not even implying it. Those things stayed in his head, whilst the rest of the story was told. Jess ought to have known it wouldn't be good enough for Rory, not after everything.

"Jess, I understand why you wanted to go be with your father," she said when his story was done. "I can even get why you felt embarrassed about dropping out, but... but why couldn't you say goodbye to me? Why couldn't you explain and just talk to me about all this before?"

"You're kidding, right?" he said, laughing bitterly into his stone cold tea.

Rory frowned some as if she really didn't get it. Jess was amazed. She really wasn't stupid, not his Rory, and as angelic as she sometimes came off, there was no way in hell she couldn't put this together. Jess really hoped she would, then maybe he wouldn't have to say it out loud, making himself feel stupid, making her feel bad.

"Was I so hard to talk to?" she checked, before shaking her head as if she were having this conversation with herself. "No, you just didn't talk. You wouldn't talk to anybody, not Luke, not me."

"I tried, sometimes," said Jess, eyes on his tea as he stirred it, knowing he had no intention of drinking another drop at this point anyway. "You don't get it, and I can't expect you to. Your whole life, people have looked at you like some kind of hero, Rory. Like a princess that can do no wrong, that just shines without even trying."

She looked equal parts embarrassed and mad at the implication, but Jess had a point to make and pushed on regardless.

"It was different for me. I was the disappointment. Jimmy was out the door the day I was born. Liz spent the whole time dumping me off on other people, until I was old enough to just be left alone. Then I come here, and Luke tried, I know he did, but I always got the feeling that he was just waiting for me to screw up, same as everybody else in this town. Except you," he said with a hint of a smile. "The great revered Rory Gilmore looked at me and actually saw somebody who was worth giving the time of day to. You cared what I did. You actually thought I was capable of doing something good with my life."

"Always," said Rory, nodding her head.

"Well, the joke's on you, because look at me now," replied Jess, a bitter edge to his words that made Rory wince. "I'm sorry, Rory, but the last thing I wanted after being looked down on by just about everybody else in this crazy town was to have you do the same thing. I couldn't handle it," he admitted sadly.

Rory swallowed hard, wondering why her eyes suddenly felt damp. She hadn't thought, or maybe she had but didn't want to admit it. Being mad at Jess when he left, it was so much easier than thinking she might have been part of the reason he bolted. He still shouldn't have done it, leaving without so much as a good bye, silent phone calls after, but Rory played her part and she knew it.

"I'm sorry," she said eventually. "If I made it hard for you to talk to me. If I made you feel bad, I... I never meant to."

"I know that you didn't." Jess sighed, leaning back in his seat to look at her. "Rory, you don't have to be sorry. It is what it is, you, me. Honestly, I have a lot more to apologise for than you do, and I am sorry, for everything."

Rory nodded, apparently accepting his apology without words. Right now, she wouldn't know what to say. They had both done wrong, and their relationship had fallen apart because of it. Rory was only left to wonder how it might have gone differently if Jess had nowhere to run to, how it might be different now he was back.

"We probably should've had this kind of conversation six months ago," she said softly, a smile curving her lips.

"Probably," Jess agreed with a smirk he couldn't help. "Hindsight's twenty-twenty."

"So they tell me." Rory smiled.

There was a moment when it suddenly felt like they could both exhale again. As if Rory and Jess had been holding the same breath this whole time, from the moment he left town without an explanation. Now the air was clear, at least enough for a friendly conversation about all the things they used to talk about. What would happen later, neither could say, but it wasn't so awkward anymore, so impossible to be in each other's company.

"So, how's Yale?" asked Jess, pushing his cold tea aside and leaning his arms on the table across from Rory.

"It's good," she told him with genuine smile, shadowing his movements. "I'm rooming with Paris."

"My condolences."

"It's not so bad, and the other girls in the dorm are nice," explained Rory all smiles and enthusiasm for her college days - Jess expected nothing less. "The classes are interesting, I am never bored, but the homework can be a killer sometimes. The professors are great, there's really not one I don't like, and I'm making friends, which is cool. Dating is weird, but I... Oh, I'm sorry."

Rory's voice went away and she looked everywhere but at Jess when her brain caught up to her mouth and reminded her of who exactly she was talking to. Jess had always been easy to talk to about the day to day stuff, understanding her points of view in a way Dean never had, that was for sure. Unfortunately, the D word had come spilling out of her mouth way too easily when speaking to her latest ex boyfriend. She felt stupid.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, no hint of concern on his face. "You're allowed to date, Rory," he reminded her, even though it stung a little, somewhere deep inside.

"Kinda been realising lately that it's not that easy." Rory sighed. "And I don't entirely like it," she admitted. "How about you?" she asked then, eyes everywhere but on Jess.

"Nothing serious," he told her, shaking his head.

It was only a partial lie. The whole truth was that there had been nothing serious because there had been nothing at all. No other girl meant anything to him anymore. There was Rory, and then there was everybody else. Nobody in the second category even came close to measuring up, so there would be little or no point in spending serious time with any of them.

Of course, Jess knew he lost the right to spend serious time with Rory a good while ago now. He was back in town to pick up his car and then he had to be gone. He had promised Lorelai, and Jess figured it was about time he started keeping his word to people after too many times letting them down. Whether or not the serious look that had come over his face made a difference, Jess couldn't be sure, but suddenly Rory was fastening her jacket and grabbing up her purse to leave.

"I should go."

"Me too," he agreed, nodding once. "Not that Gypsy is probably done with my car yet..." he said thoughtfully, looking out of the window.

Jess wondered where he was going to go for the hour or two, possibly more, that it was going to take Gypsy to get his car running. Outside was cold but he doubted he would be all that welcome in anybody's store, even less so their home.

"And when she's done, you're leaving again?" asked Rory, following him out into the street.

"That's the plan," said Jess, pulling his hat back on when the cold wind bit at his ears.

Rory nodded in understanding, though she looked oddly sad about it. She turned to walk away and Jess meant to do the same. He was still watching her go when she looked back, contemplating saying something, Jess knew, and yet she seemed uncertain for a moment.

"Talk to Luke before you go, please," she urged him. "Mom said things were strained yesterday, that's why he didn't invite you in to sleep at the diner. You should smooth things out."

If anybody else tried to tell Jess what to do, if they even suggested a course of action and it seemed reasonable enough, he would still do the opposite out of spite. He didn't know why, that was just his instinct. With Rory it was different, always had been.

"Okay," he promised, nodding his head. "I'll try."

A smile lit up Rory's face that Jess had missed so much these past few months.

"Bye Jess," she told him, giving a little wave.

"Bye Rory," he replied in kind, trying not to recall a day in New York, with her on a bus and him watching her leave, just as she was leaving now.

"You did what?!" asked Luke too loudly, swinging around so fast he nearly hit Lorelai in the head by accident.

"Easy, Rocky!" she urged him, shifting away from flailing limbs bearing tools of the window fixing variety. "I just let Jess sleep on the couch last night. C'mon, for all that he's done, you did not what the kid to die of hypothermia or pneumonia or whatever else you get from the cold," she said, thinking it over. "Basically, nobody wanted to find popsicle Jess on the back seat this morning, so I pulled a Good Samaritan and took him in for the night. I just thought you should know."

Luke let out a long breath. Lorelai wasn't sure if he was trying to find his calm or if he was just completely exasperated by what she was telling him. After a long moment of silence, she found out.

"Thank you," he said at last. "Seriously, Lorelai, I... I'm glad you took him in, and I'm also sorry that you had to," said Luke, rubbing his forehead. "I should've let him stay at the diner, I know I should, I just... yesterday was kinda crazy with Liz and then Jess and... I don't know," he said honestly. "My family is just a train wreck."

"Welcome to the club," said Lorelai, rolling her eyes and sitting down on the back of the couch. "For what it's worth, and please, brace yourself for this one, Jess was actually on his best behaviour last night. He even apologised to me for that day you guys came here for dinner, and for the way he treated everybody on his last trip to the Hollow," she explained.

Luke's mouth dropped open of its own volition.

"Wow. I... I didn't expect that," he admitted. "Well, what about Rory? Has she seen him?"

Lorelai nodded awkwardly. "Came right in this morning and found the ex still sleeping on the couch," she explained, unsurprised when she saw Luke wincing. "It was fine though, she took it okay, after the initial shock. They shared a few words, Jess left, I filled Rory up with sugary breakfast treats and the world kept on turning."

"Okay," said Luke, barely remembering now that he was supposed to be doing anything but standing here staring. "Um, well, Jess should be gone as soon as his car is fixed up. Hopefully Rory won't see him around town, he'll leave, and everything will be as it should be."

"Hopefully," Lorelai echoed. "But in the meantime, any chance you could make it slightly less Santa's village in here?" she asked.

"Oh, God, yeah. Sorry," Luke apologised, immediatey turning back to the broken window and working on fixing it, as promised.

Lorelai smiled as she watched him work. He really was the most dependable guy she ever met, the hero that Liz talked of so easily. She was a surprise, not at all what Lorelai pictured for Luke's sister, but she adored her big brother, that was for sure. As far as Lorelai knew, there was really nothing not to love about Luke. Times like this she wondered... but it was pointless. Luke was married to Nicole. Lorelai was the friend and customer, not the wife. Never the wife.

It took a while before Jess found the nerve to head over to the diner. After Weston's with Rory, he went back to the garage to ask Gypsy how long it would be until the car was done. She was vague to say the least, but promised to have him out of town by nightfall. Since that seemed to be the best estimation Jess was going to get, he decided just to kill time for as long as possible, then go see Luke later. After that particular meeting, he was sure to want to make an exit, or maybe just be encouraged to make one. That was why he spent a few hours hanging out in the book store, then some time was wasted on the bridge and generally wandering around the parts of town he was least likely to be spotted and run out of the Hollow with torches and pitchforks.

It was mid afternoon when Jess decided it was time to face the music. He headed over to the diner and deliberately went around back so he could get up to the apartment without half the town making comments. Running up the stairs was oddly familiar, almost pleasantly nostalgic and yet when he reached the top, his hand reaching for the doorknob he stopped. His hand was shaking. Jess felt dumb when he noticed, and then got angry with himself for being so pathetic. Shaking his head, he turned to leave until suddenly he saw Rory in his mind's eyes, heard her words echo in his head.

Talk to Luke before you go, please... You should smooth things out.

She was right. That was what really killed him. Rory was always right about this stuff, as Lorelai had been when she reminded Jess he owed Rory and Luke way more apologies than he ever owed her. Those damn Gilmore girls.

Turning himself back around, Jess reached for the knob and flung open the door before he could change his mind again. The colour drained from his already pale face when he realised it was not just Luke in the apartment.

"Oh my God!" Liz gasped at the sight of him, running over for an awkward hug.

Jess didn't hear most of what she said. His eyes flitted from her to Luke to the mess being made as someone tried to cook dinner, then finally to a stranger sat at the table. Apparently, his name was T.J. and he was Liz's newest 'perfect guy'. Jess didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Honestly, he just really wanted to get the hell out. Playing nice with others never did come easy. Playing nice with the dopes that Liz picked up off the street was twice as hard.

"Er, Luke? Can I talk to you?" he asked his uncle the moment Liz let up from rambling on about family meals and kismet and other crap he didn't want to hear.

"Sure," Luke agreed, nodding once.

Outside in the hallway, both guys turned into each other, sighing in unison. It would have been funny if either of them noticed. As it was they both had to smile when they apologised over the top of each other.

"What are you sorry for?" asked Jess curiously.

"For leaving you to freeze to death in your car last night," said Luke, shaking his head. "I spent so long trying to get you to behave like an adult, and then I pulled a childish move like that-"

"I deserved it," said Jess easily, not caring that interrupting was wrong. "You know I did," he added off Luke's reaction.

"Maybe," his uncle concerded with a smirk Jess himself would have been proud of. "And you're sorry too, huh? Never thought I'd hear that."

"Yeah, well," Jess visibly squirmed. "I could've acted better when I was here and we both know it. Maybe it's all water under the bridge, whatever, but I just wanted to tell you, I did appreciate you letting me stay here before. It probably didn't look like it most of the time, but I did."

Luke nodded his understanding, though he didn't really know what to say. Jess could be such a little punk sometimes, but he was still his nephew, and Luke still loved him so much. He wanted to help, always had, he just didn't always know how, including right now.

"So..." he said eventually.

"So, Gypsy is working on my car," said Jess, looking towards the stairs. "Once it's done, I'm outta here."

"Just like that?" checked Luke. "I mean, if you want to stay, spend some time with your mom...?"

"Really don't," said Jess definitely. "I got what I came here for, Luke. I'm done," he said with a look that meant more than the words ever did. "I'm good, I just gotta go."

"Okay." Luke nodded. "I understand, but just know that you are always welcome here, Jess. Always."

"Thanks, Uncle Luke," he said with a smirk, a joke to hide the fact that the sentiment was real.

Luke still got it. He watched Jess hurry down the stairs without a backwards glance and sighed. Maybe his family was a train wreck, but then maybe in time something could be saved from the wreckage yet.

To Be Continued...