Chapter 20
Acceptance
"Brothers and Sisters of the Circle, today we welcome a new soul into our mortal fold. This woman has endured, has challenged and has showed her valor. Who will speak for her?" Kodlak's voice echoed across the court, as Kili stood in the middle of the of the Companions.
The Dragonborn kept her arms down by her sides as she half listened to the Harbinger speak. Her eyes were fixed on him, yes, but her mind and heart were elsewhere.
"I stand witness for the courage of the soul before us." Farkas answered his leaders question, allowing him to continue.
"Would you raise your shield in her defense?"
"I would stand at her back, that the world might never overtake us."
Kili bit her bottom lip slightly, when the words finally registered.
"And would you raise your sword in her honor?"
"It stands ready to meet the blood of her foes."
Her eyes narrowed for a moment. Trying to think of what foe's she might bring to her new family. As Dragonborn, yes, Dragons were a foe...but after what happened on her journey as the Dovahkiin thus, there were worse things out there than Dagons.
"And would you raise a mug in her name?"
"I would lead the song of triumph as our mead hall reveled in her stories."
Kili smiled a little at that statement. Knowing there would be many stories to tell, if she survived long enough to tell them.
"Then this judgment of this Circle is complete. Her heart beats with fury and courage that have united the Companions since the days of the distant green summers. Let it beat with ours, so the mountains may echo and our enemies may tremble at the call."
"It shall be so."
Kili blinked and glanced between the members of the circle, hearing their voices as one acceptance was surprisingly calming.
"Thank you…" she whispered and let her eyes wander to Vilkas, he met her gaze for a moment before heading back inside. She frowned, up until a few days ago they were fine, close...now distance, those days seeming ages ago. The Beast blood must truly worry him so, to act like this…
"Well, girl, you're one of us now. I trust you won't disappoint." Kodlak muses and he walked over to her once again.
"I will do my best Kodlak..."
The old man nodded and reached up to touch her shoulder again, "Even with my failing sight, Kili, I can see your heart is trouble,"
The Dragonborn nodded, "By many things...I will be honest, on the many things I should be worried about...my thoughts are on thing close to home,"
Kodlak nodded, "Vilkas,"
Kili bit her lip, and looked down at the ground, "He feels so far away from me now...I know we aren't married or bound in anyway but…"
"You have the soul of a dragon, Kili, at least according the legends," the older companion mused, "Dragon's mate for life...as to do wolves. It is possible that is the reason for the turmoil that you both are feeling,"
She looked up at the that statement, "You are wiser than you lead on, Kodlak,"
"I am the Harbinger...I give guidance when wisdom is sought from me, not before it is asked," he smiled, "Now...I know there is more to this than a simple lover's confusion. You two have been intimate and you wish to know how to proceed,"
She nodded and waited for him to continue.
"Then tell him that. Vilkas is a very straight forward man. Keep straight and to the point when you confront him, but also be mindful of how he is feeling. He has been robbed of something he was not ready to share. It is possible that even he does not know what he feels,"
Kili smiled a little, and quickly stepped forward to hug the Harbinger gently, "Thank you Kodlak,"
He chuckled and pat her shoulders gently, as he returned the hug, "I have seen both of those boys grow from pups to men, I would hate to see them suffer over anything I can help them avoid,"
Kili pulled back, "What of the celebration?"
"We handle that after you and Vilkas talk." He winked and pulled away from her, "I will keep the others busy till you two sort it out."
Kili smiled and quickly ran inside, glancing at Farkas and Rosen as she ran around the mead hall's grand fire pit.
"He went down stair, kili," Rosen stated softly as she took a set next to Farkas at the table.
"Good luck, sister. He's pretty peeved,"
Kili nodded at both them as thanks and made her way down stair to the living quarters.
~*~*~*8888*~*~*~
Vilkas growled and slammed his fist against the bookshelf in his room. How could this have happened? Yes, he knew there was a possibility that it could happen, but why? Had the gods turn his back on him? Or was it simply because he served a Daedra that the gods no longer listen to him? All he wanted was time, and he wasn't even given that. Damn Beast blood, damn Hircine, damn it all.
In his anger he grabbed the nearest object,a wine bottle and threw it at the door. His wolf matched his anger and roar as the glass shattered against the door. Huffing he turned toward his bed and flopped down, resting his face in his hands. The emotions within him were so jumbled up, he was not sure what to feel…
Bump bump, bump bump.
Vilkas looked up at the sound the filled his ears. Swallowing, his wolf let out whimper, that echoed in his mind. He knew who heartbeat it was, even before her scent filled his nose.
"Kili…" he whispered.
Her footsteps matched the pace of her heart, and she was heading towards him. Even though he knew she was coming, the knock on the door still caused him to jump.
"Vilkas?" she asked as she jiggled the doorknob, "Please. We need to talk."
"There is nothing to say…" he bit out, and looked to the wall to his left.
"You and I both know that's not true...please, open the door," She argued.
Taking a breath he stood and walked to the door, unlocking the knob before turning back to the bed. If she really wanted to come in, she would. As soon as he sat down on the bed once again, Kili walked into the room and shut the door.
"I know this is not what you wanted…"
He growled at her words, "An understatement."
"Vilkas...Hold your tongue till have finished, please," She stated softly.
His lip twitched at her statement, but he bit his tongue to keep himself quiet.
"This...this doesn't change anything,"
A chill ran down his back. That...was not what he expected. "What…?"
"This does not change anything...what's between us, what I feel. It has not changed, regardless of whatever you are thinking. I still want to be with you." She stated firmly, and rubbed her arms nervously.
"And yet your heart is about to leap from your chest." He muttered.
"Vilkas...why would I judge you for being what you are, when you have accepted me for what I am?"
He growled and stood up, towering over at her, "Because I am a monster!"
Kili swallowed and shivered at his voice, "Vilkas…"
"Shut up! Just, stop!" He pitched the bridge of his nose and growled, "How can you be so bloody accepting of this? I am a monster! A beast! Can you honestly say you can love a man who isn't even a true nord!?"
He turned his head to glare at her. Shocked to find her holding his harsh gaze with her own. Kili looked into his eye, watching the gold leak into the silver. He was struggling, much has Farkas had before. Taking a slow breath she stepped closer to him.
"Because I do love you. All over you. If the beast is part of who you are, then I love the wolf as well. Why is that so hard to believe?" she countered, and gently grab his hands. "Yes. Compared to the beast, I am fragile...but I am also strong. According to the dragons I have slain, the more souls I absorb the more dragon like I will become...in a since, we are both monsters. Just different kinds.
Vilkas felt his lip quiver at her words, watching her bring his hand to her face. Her lips grazed his knuckles, soothing the dulled pain from punching the bookshelf. Sighing he shook his head and freed his hand from her grasp and cupped her cheek.
"You truly mean it...don't you?" He watched her look up at him before elaborating, "You love me?"
She nodded and kissed his palm, "I do...I want you in my life. All of you...as foolish as you think it is…"
He wrapped his arms around her quickly and pulled her into a hug, "Very foolish...but I am glad for it...which make me a bigger fool,"
Kili giggled softly and returned the hug, resting her head against his chest. "We are both fools, but honest fools...I love you, Vilkas."
The Companion kissed her forehead gently, "I love you too…"
Kili was the first to pull back from the hug, slow she reached up and kissed him. "I understand why you didn't tell me...so please do not be mad at your brother. We were literally backed into a corner, had he not acted I fear neither of us would have made it back."
Vilkas tightened his grip on her back. "He didn't tell me that…"
"He was quite ashamed...he said you two made an oath to Kodlak to resist the wolf...I think he felt as though he failed you both,"
"I respect my brothers judgment...I fear this subject is rather touchy to both of us,"
Kili nodded and pecked his lips again. "I am aware…"
Vilkas pressed his forehead against hers, "Kodlak promise to explain everything to you, yes?" She nodded, "While you and he speak, I will talk to, Farkas. Set the issue straight…"
"It will have to wait till tomorrow...Kodlak is instant on a celebration, which is not happening till Farkas and I clean the filth off ourselves."
Now it was Vilkas' turn to chuckle, "Fair enough, love."
"I probably smell worse than I look…"
Vilkas snorted and bumped his nose against hers, "I was not going to say anything…"
"Vilkas..."
He chuckled again and pulled back from her, holding his hands up, "I jest, love...mostly,"
Kili made a face, and turned to face the door, "I will remember that…"
"I am sure you will…"
~*~*~8888~*~*~
Kili sank into the bath, quickly as she could. Wanting the aches and pain leave her body, due to the warm water. The sooner she was clean the sooner the night could continue. Slipping further under the water, wanting nothing more than the blood and dirt to be free from her hair as fast as possible.
Breaking the surface of again she ran her fingers through her hair to check. Once she was satisfied she stood and step out of the water. Grabbing a nearby towel she wrapped herself up just as a knock came to the door.
"Kili? It's Rosen,"
"Come in," the dragonborn answered as she continued to dry off.
The Khajiit stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her, "Are you alright?"
Kili tilted her head to the side as she grabbed one of Vilkas' shirts that he gave her, and slipped it over her head, trying to make sure it covered what needed to be covered. "Yes...why?"
"This...what has happened, is a lot to take in...Farkas told me what happened."
Kili smiled as she slipped on the skirt that Tilma provided her, "Rosen...I know you all would have told me when the time was right…"
"Yes but...you could have been hurt. And Farkas' is very upset with himself…" she stated and nervously ran her paws together, "How are you so understanding…I came in her hoping to ease your mind, but it seems you have already thought this through…"
Kili looked up at her friend, "Rosen...I have never been one to think on the what if's. Yes a lot could have happened but it didn't...I understand the need for secrecy...seeing as how you all accepted the fact that I am Dragonborn,"
"But that's different, Kili, you are something that comes out of Legends...we come out of nightmare,"
"Rosen...please. Nothing has changed, this is still my family. Would it really be better if I hated you all and ran your names through the mud?" Kili countered, sharply.
Rosen swallowed, verbally, "I...I suppose not…"
Kili reached up and pulled her friend into a hug, "If I can accept what I am, and accept what you all have come to be…so please believe that,"
The Khajiit nodded against her friend's shoulder and quickly returned the hug, "You make this so simple…"
"It's times like this where complications aren't needed…." KIli whispered and pulled back enough to look into her friend's eyes, "Yes...part of me is scared, part of me is very confused and upset, but you have all become my family. No Daedric curse is going to change that,"
Rosen nodded again and smiled, "Kodlak said you had wisdom…"
"I wouldn't call it that…" the Dragonborn chuckled and shook her head as they pulled apart. "Maybe looking at the world differently, perhaps,"
"Regardless...I am glad this hasn't stopped you,"
The nord woman simply winked, and wrapped her arm around the other woman's shoulder, "Yes well...falling in love with a cranky nord may have something to do with that,:
Rosen giggled softly, allowing Kili to lead her upstairs to join the others.
~*~*~8888~*~*~
Kili nuzzled against Vilkas' shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist. The pair was sitting together at the large tables in the middle of mead hall. With the warmth of the fire and her stomach full of food, Kili was actually thinking about falling asleep. If it wasn't for the fact the Farkas was retelling their adventure, she probably would be asleep by now.
"Are you alright, love?" Vilkas whispered as he turned his head to face her.
She hummed and nodded, doing her best to keep her eyes open, "A little tired…"
He pressed his lips to her forehead, "We can head downstairs when you are ready,"
She smiled up at him and kissed his chin quickly, "Once Farkas finishes up…he is almost finished,"
"I tell you what would have really been handy for this journey...Kili getting fire breath a lot sooner,"
Kili tensed a little when the words left Farkas' mouth. Swallowing she pressed her face against Vilkas' should more, trying to hide her face from everyone's gaze.
"You breath fire now, huh?"
"Now that I would love to see,"
Kili bit her lip and Aela and Skjor's comments and forced herself to look up, at them, "Yes I learned how to breath fire...I will show you later,"
She wanted to be firm in her ultimatum, but not harsh. They were simply curious after all.
"Why not now? If what he says is true then you should no issue showing us?" Skjor argued.
Kili glared at him then, her temper flaring slightly, "The problem is, I do not have control of this new ability, I nearly burned Farkas the first time I used it and I would rather not burn down Jorrvaskr trying to sate your curiosity or prove you wrong,"
"A true warrior doesn't hide behind excuses," He countered.
"True but they also know their limits,"
"Enough," Kodlak interjected, "Skjor, enough with your prying. If Kili does not wish to share birthright she does not have to. Leave it be. This is a celebration, and she has already proven herself once. Once is enough,"
Skjor gave a grunt in response the Harbinger, and took a long sip of his drink. Aela nodded towards Kili, letting her know that the issue was settled for now.
"Sorry sister. I didn't think it would cause an issue,"
"It's all right Farkas...besides, what they point of being like a dragon if I cannot breath fire?"
Her comment got a small laugh from everyone, before they returned to their drinks and food. Vilkas gave her hip a squeeze get her attention.
"Need a breather, love?"
She shook head her and weaved her fingers through his, "I'm fine…"
"Kili," he whispered and kissed her hair line.
"I'm fine...as I said, just tired," she whispered back, and looked up at him, "Can we go to bed now…"
Vilkas nodded, as he stood up he helped her stand too. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Not caring what the others thought of his actions as he walked Kili down stairs and toward his room, well, perhaps it was their quarters now.
"The others don't mind us sharing a room do they…?" Kili whispered.
"Interesting thought to have now, love," Vilkas pointed gently.
"I...well...I wasn't sure. Rosen and Farkas are a couple yes, but…"
"Kili, relax," Vilkas gently cut off her rambling, and lead her into the room and locked the door behind him, "Yes Farkas and Rosen have their room, and Aela and Skjor have their...whatever it is they do. Why worry about the others thoughts now?"
"I don't know...Out of all the things to worry about, I suppose that is the least of them…" she sighed and sat down on the bed.
He chuckled and sat down next to her, and tucked a few of her short strands of hair behind her ear, causing her to shiver.
"Vilkas…?"
"I missed you," he whispered and kissed her neck gently.
Now it was her turn to laugh, "Oh really…?"
"Believe it or not I was hoping to have a few hours alone with you before the ceremony...sadly it seems fate had other plans."
She smiled and turned her head to face him, "Well...we are alone now…"
Vilkas smiled at her, showing off his teeth, before nuzzling his nose against hers, "Are you giving me permission…?"
Kili nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair, "Yes,"
His lips were on hers in a instant.
Hello there everyone! Shocking I know to have another update so soon! You can all think Skyrim Special Edition for the reawakening of my muse. LOL
I hope you all like it, and thank you all for your reviews and comments. It keeps me going, so please continue to tell me what you think, and if you want tell me what else you would like to see happen, and I will see what I can come up with. :)
Stay beautiful you lovely people!
3 ~ Ace.