Torchwood Three; Cardiff, Wales

Jack Harkness went to the Millennium Center roof to clear his head. Derrian Talbot brought back memories that were to painful. When Ianto called, he returned to his office feeling old. There were some things he could never forgive himself for. Things no matter why he did them would haunt him forever.

"What happened?"

"Talbot reminded me." Jack couldn't meet Ianto's eyes. Even Gwen didn't know what he'd done that day. He'd used retcon on the witnesses. He'd done what he could for Alice. It was unforgivable. "I want you to stay away from him."

Ianto held out his arm. "What could he possibly tell me, Jack?"

"There were things I did after you died."

Ianto hugged him. "I know about Steven."

"How?"

"Torchwood London. I went looking for information about how I died. Anwen gave me access." Ianto held him. "The Anwen that sent John back figured it out. The fact that Alice was in protective custody, with no mention of Steven, and missing years of memory told me what happened. You sacrificed him to save millions of children."

"I killed my grandson."

"A child had to die. It was a horrific situation, Jack. There was no outcome where you didn't have to live with doing the unthinkable."

"That doesn't justify what I did."

Ianto propped his chin up and looked him in the eyes. "I didn't get to Lisa in time. I kept a Cyberman and a conversion unit and convinced myself I could do something that wasn't possible. Two people died. I endangered the planet having her in the hub because I couldn't let my girlfriend go."

Jack looked away, shaking his head.

"Torchwood is one crazed situation after another. Curiosity draws agents in. The adrenaline and power or whatever is akin to a drug. We can't let it go. Most die young, horrible deaths. The few that do survive had a psychological breakdown before something could kill them." Ianto paused. "You have been doing this for longer than anyone could possibly ask to protect a planet that has given you nothing. Except loss and pain and misery. There is no possible selfish incentive to keep you here."

"Guilt."

"You have nothing to feel guilty for. This planet is still here. Billions of people walk around every day with no idea that an immortal time traveler is the only reason they're alive or free. You have outlived at least one spouse and numerous friends and lovers. And for what? An office filled with Weevils, bad memories, and impossible mold next to a highway tunnel and a block of flats."

"I'm no hero."

"Look at me." Ianto slide his fingers over his face. "I was gone for ten years. Suddenly I'm back and broken. You could have given me retcon and/or placed me on the island with the Rift survivors. Cryostasis. I could be in protective custody tending a monastery somewhere and never known the difference."

"I got you killed."

"The ego and indestructibility that makes it possible for you to do what you do has consequences. I knew that. I knew being with you had a price. I would die young. After Lisa, I believed I wouldn't have a family or children. I gave my life to Torchwood before I met you." Tears welled in his eyes. "Here we are. Two fucked up people who have lived, died and come back. After everything, I have a boyfriend, a home and a family."

Jack kissed him, and held on. Ianto's acceptance didn't lessen the pain. It made it bearable.

"What did you call about?" He asked finally.

"Inventory and purchase orders. Nothing important."

The fact that Ianto didn't have the baby finally registered. "Where's Trefor?"

"With Gwen in the garden. Bree is checking school records and trying to find evidence of concealed psychiatric problems. The library tip might be legit." A beat. "Anwen and John are still working on gaining control of Torchwood Four."

"Is the general back yet?"

"No. He took the night off. I could hear a woman in the background when he called."

"Find anything?" Gwen Cooper walked into the conference room with Trefor. She set him and a stuff horse on the floor with his blocks.

"Possibly." Bree sighed.

Gwen sat across from her.

"Eddie Cattrel was born in Germany. From passport records and Cattrel company files, his mother relocated from Cardiff in her first trimester. She stayed until Eddie was four months old."

"They knew about the Rift abilities."

"I think so. Cattrel Industries in Wales specifically relocates pregnant employees to other European countries. The official reason is its less stressful duty. They get a boost in pay and impressive maternity leave outside of the UK."

"What about Cath Eynon?"

"She was born in Cardiff to a family that has lived in Wales for generations. Her Facebook shows an interest in the paranormal and athletes." Bree smiled. "At the time the CCTV cameras were damaged, Cath was with Rodger Taafe. According to a nurse at the hospital, she showed up after his injuries made the news, and camped at his bedside. Rodger's father showed up and caused a scene. Drugs and scholarships. Cath is about five feet tall and a hundred pounds. Rodger's father is a six foot something rugby player built like a wall. The nurse said Cath walked up to a man more than twice her size, called him a wanker and told him to bugger off."

Gwen laughed. It made her think of Anwen. She needed to check on her.

"I do have a possible suspect." The amusement faded. "Jeannette Dove. Emotional, volatile, a family history of psychic abilities, and an anger that's boiled over into rage. Her social media is pretty bad. Though, the kid has no more indication for arson and homicide then Eddie did for drugging and killing his classmates." She paused. "Unless the deceased isn't Eddie Cattrel."

"Anything to support it."

"No. No activity on his mobile, social media or any family account that wasn't frozen. Ianto already checked."

"Where is Jeannette Dove?"