Chapter 14: I wont ever let you go

"Dan?" I got an uneasy feeling. I hid it in my smile, and tucked it under my teeth. It felt like our living room was 100 degrees. What was I doing?

"Yeah, Phil?" That was his voice, he was really here. This was really happening.

I couldn't believe it, and I couldn't really breathe either. I needed something, a ring, which I didn't have yet. I couldn't do this without the ring! The ring! Oh wait! I had my mothers old ring, my father gave to her before, that I always had on my key hook. I held him on my lap with one hand and reached in my pocket for my keys with the other. I unhooked the ring from the key hook where Dan couldn't see it, and held the ring in my hand tightly. I knew the ring would fit Dan because he used to always steal it from me and wear it… as a joke.

The ring you played, and wore for fun

Was but a game before you knew

But now that feelings so true are shared

It's the ring that'll go on you.

This was the most nervous I have ever been. Would he say yes? Would he say no? Would he leave me? He's afraid of the public finding out we're dating, what will he do when they find out we're married?

Legs that walk to the same heartbeat

Connected arms that sway together

Are all that I needed

To know that you are mine.

My heart pounded, but it just felt so right. I slide over and Dan falls next to me. I stand in front of him with my hand in a fist, hiding my lovely secret. Dan sits up on the sofa facing me looking at my face, he didn't know what was going on. Here goes no-everything.

I gave you my everything

My heart, my passion

With you here in front of me

There's one thing left to do…

I shakily get down on one knee, Dan's face full of anticipation. The world beginning to fade away around us, making it only us, as I un-fist my hand and hold out the shiny ring. Dan stands up and puts his hands over his mouth in shock, but I could tell he was smiling. This gave me full confidence. I look him in the eyes and he stares right back, with that adorable sparkle in his eyes. My words just pour out in a heavy stream of emotion.

"Daniel James Howell, I've loved you and known you would be special since the day we first met, you were all I could think of every single day. You were my morning thoughts and my good night lullabies. Just the thought of you made me smile and get all warm and fuzzy inside. The room seems to light up when you're in it and everything feels at peace when ever I'm with you. I've never felt this sort of love before and I'm super glad you're the first to show it to me, and I'd really love if you'd be the last as well. I love you, so, so much, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I only want you happy, preferably with me. I promise I will always keep you safe where harm will never get to you. You make my heart do that flippy over thing and I love you so much more than anything in this world." I pause, Dan on the verge of tears, happy tears. The ring still firm in between my fingers as I hold it out. "Daniel James Howell, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Phil, oh God, yes." He shakes his head, yes, taking his left hand away from his mouth and holding it out to me, his right hand wiping away the tears. I slide the ring on his fourth finger as we both watch. I stand up and he leaps into my arms.

He jumps, wrapping his legs around my waist, and his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. I hold him with both my hands on his bum. He releases my neck and grabs my face, pressing my cheeks together. "I love you so much and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life in your arms" He says. He kisses me so passionately I feel the happiest of tears run down his face, a few coming out of my eyes as well. He kisses me for a while, and no hesitation from me to kiss him right back.

He slides his tongue across my lips, begging for an entrance. I let him in and his tongue explores something it knows so well. The taste of him was something I never wanted to be without, I craved it sometimes. I sit back down on the sofa with him still wrapped around me, our kiss is not broken. We sit there, with my hands still firmly grasping his perfect bum, sometimes I wish we could be like this forever. He begins to kiss me harder. I move my mouth down to his neck, I know how much that turns him on. I earn a small moan as I work my way to other areas of his neck, earning more and more moans. I find my hands moving up his back, but under his jumper. I wrap my arms around him and pull him in as close as can be, so close I can feel him growing harder. I find a good spot on his neck and I peck at it over, and over. I suck on it, moving my hands down his back. I soon find my hands fully slid inside the back of his pants, feeling his amazingly soft, perfect little ass. He moaned and I could feel his hands going under my jumper and digging his nails into my back, he wanted me.

I laid him down on the sofa and jumped on top of him, straddling him. I lift his jumper up to reveal his slightly tanned body, I can't help but to get my hands all over it. Feeling his body and soft skin, I lean over him. He feels my body as I quickly rip off my jumper, then return my hands back to his body. He sits up and rips off his jumper and tosses it across the room, I push him back down, crashing my lips into his. He wraps his arms around me and forces me to lay on top of him. The friction between our skin gives him a raging hard on. I lay slightly to the side as I run my hands down his body slowly. Our lips locked and a hand in each others hair, we kiss passionately. I finally reach his oh so obvious bulge in his jeans. Slowly, I run my hands over it and begin to feel, cupping his man parts through his jeans. He pulls away from the kiss to release a quick moan and mumble "I love you, Phil" then rushes back into the kiss and slaps a hand on my face. Slamming his lips into mine, he moans, almost crying, as I tease him by slipping my hands in and out of his boxers. He can't take it anymore, he forces my hand in his pants and I firmly grab his shaft. He breathes heavily, biting his lip, as I move the kisses to his neck, sucking and biting lightly. I move my hand up and down on his erection as I kiss my way down to his navel. Sucking lightly, I slide my hand down his body to his hips. I unbutton his pants, hurriedly and slide his boxers and jeans down and away from the desired area. I realize he still has his shoes on so I remove them and throw them across the room. I jump off the sofa and move to the side where Dan's feet were. I slowly remove one sock and stick his big toe in my mouth as I remove the other one. He bites his lip and moans.

I rip his jeans and boxers off, leaving him completely naked, smiling at the ring on his finger. He was all mine. I slide my hands down the inside on his legs as I climb over the side of the sofa, returning to the spot I was previously in. I take him into my hand as I kiss him and I slip my tongue into the back of his mouth. He moans and grabs my head, pulling it down closer to his. I slide my hands and body down him as I kiss a trail of passion down to his love muscle. He moans again as I kiss the base, and he runs his fingers through my hair.

I lick all over his shaft, while rubbing his hips. I take him into my mouth, slowly and taking the whole thing. He breathes heavily and moans as I hold it there for a few seconds. Pulling it out and sucking it back in again a few times, I cover his penis in my saliva, rubbing it in as I go up and kiss him. I go back down, and take the whole thing into my mouth again. "Phil" He moans, and I begin to smile. We stand up and I get on my knees. I hold his hips and his ass in my hands as he thrusts, cramming his entire length into my throat, causing me to choke a bit. I spit on him and slide my fisted hand up and down his member as I look up into his eyes, we both smile. He suddenly grabs me by the hair and shoved his penis inside my mouth, forcing the whole thing in. He releases a wet load into my mouth as he moans in pleasure. I let go of him and swallow. He bends down, on his knees as well, and takes my face into his hands and kisses me ever so sweetly. "I love you so much." Dan says looking into my eyes.

I fall back, pulling him down with me. He lays on top of me playing with my hair, and caressing my face. I didn't care that he was still completely naked. He was all mine and I loved that. He lowers his lips to mine and we shut our eyes. I wrap my arms around his body so tight, there's no way of him ever slipping free anytime soon. He pulls away from the kiss and lays his head on my chest. He tucks his arms under his body and releases a slight shiver.

"Are you cold, darling?" I ask, rubbing his back.

"A little." he replies, shivering again.

"How about we get you dressed again and then head out for dinner?" I ask.

He agrees and gets up to collect his cloths from various areas of the room. He smiles at me every time he picks a piece of clothing up off the floor. I smile back. He finds my jumper and tosses it to me. I slip it on as Dan walks into his room.

I can't believe he said yes. I can't believe he actually said yes with no hesitation at all. I was so nervous for nothing. The way he smiled and reacted when I purposed to him was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. That's when it sunk in.

I was now engaged to the most amazing person on the face of this planet, and he was engaged to me. I was his and he was mine, we were each others. Now we had to break the news to everyone, get the rings, plan a wedding, do everything we had to do to make it the best day of our lives. I know it's going to be hard but I know we can do it.

As Dan gets dressed, I go into our bathroom and freshen up a bit. I brush my teeth and fix my hair, finishing with a bit more cologne. I take one last look in the mirror and go into the kitchen. I lean up against our counter and scroll through my contacts. Should I tell anyone yet? Should I wait to do it in person? I hit the home button and exit my contacts as Dan walks into the kitchen and stands right next to me. He slides his hand into mine. He looks down at our hands, then up at me with the sweetest smile.

"So where are you taking me?" He asks so innocently, which we both know wasn't true.

Dan didn't know but I actually had a table booked at one of the best Chinese restaurants in London.

"Oh, you'll see when we get there." I said winking at him and walking out our flat door, locking it behind me.

We got outside and I decided it was a bit too far to walk so I whipped out my phone and called for a taxi. I stepped to the side so Dan couldn't hear me to say where we were going. The call ended and I grabbed Dan's hand again as we waited out side our flat building. It was about 5:00 in the evening and the stars had begun to shine down onto the earth and create a beautiful glowing shadow in Dan's already shimmering eyes. He looked like and angel, everything about him seemed to be perfect, every single thing. I just wanted to have him in my arms again and just hold him for a while. I held his hand with love, I'm pretty sure he could feel it too, because he only squeezed my hand tighter.

The taxi cab drove up and I opened the door for Dan to get in, then walked to the other side and let myself in. I smiled as I could see Dan's hands and the ring on his finger.

I could tell that he was going to be nervous as soon as we got there because some people would give us disapproving looks and that scared him. And I'm pretty sure the situation earlier didn't help with his fear. As long as that boy was with me, he would be completely safe.

About 20 minutes later, the taxi pulled up in front of the restaurant and Dan's eyes widened. He looked back at me with a surprised face.

"you're taking me here? That's like my favourite restaurant. How did you know?" He asked with excitement in his voice. "I was only here one time and I don't remember telling you about it"

"Dan, you did tell me one time a long time ago and I remembered because I saw how happy you were telling me about it." I replied, smiling, and he smiled back.

"But how did you get the money for this, isn't it expensive here?" Dan questioned.

"Well yeah, but, I love you and I wanted to take you here, so I saved my money." I said smiling before getting out and walking over to Dan's door and opening it for him.

He grabbed my hand right after the door was shut and we walked inside. We got everything settled and were lead to our seats. We were handed menus and asked what we'd like to drink. Dan ordered his drink first, a kumquat mojito. And I ordered after him, a green destiny. The waitress wrote it down on her little notepad and hurried into the kitchen.

"Do you know what you're getting, dear?" I asked Dan.

"Probably what I got last time, I don't know, everything sounds good" He replied staring at the menu.

"Ok, but just know you can get what ever you want."

The waitress came back 10 minutes later with her little notepad and took our orders. Dan finally made the last minute decision of getting the same thing he got last time. I have never been there before so I chose the dish with the best sounding ingredients.

Dan and I chatted for a while, while we waited on our food.

"Phil, why did you do that?" Dan asked.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Asked me to marry you, why did you do it? I have so many things wrong with me., so many thing about me that aren't right, things that people hate."

"Dan, all those things don't matter to me, well they do, but they're not reasons for me to not love you, they're the exact opposite. You've changed my life forever, all for the good, and I just love you so much my words aren't working right now. I want you in my life with me all the time because I can't stand being away from you. You're just as much of a necessity to me as oxygen, I can't live without you. All the things you think are reasons for me to not love you, are all the reasons that I do. When you're happy, thats the best thing in the world. When you're upset and unhappy, I feel the need to make you happy and that's a good thing. You are seriously the best thing in my life and all I want is you to be happy. I love you Dan and I always will. That's the reason I asked you to marry me." I said grabbing his hand from across the table. The waitress then came with our drinks and smiled at us.

"Phil-" He began, but I cut him off.

"Dan, there's nothing that could ever make me stop loving you, I just love you so much!"

"I love you too, Phil, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I know that sounds so cliché, but it's true. I love you so much and I'm so glad you did it. I'm excited to be with you for the rest of the world and I just wanna be by your side forever and always"

"You're the sweetest thing in the world, Dan, I love you. I know I say it a lot, but it'll never be enough to actually express my love for you."

A few minutes later….

"So Phil, how are we going to tell everyone? I haven't told and friends or family yet, I didn't know if you had an idea on how to do it." Dan asked with just the slightest bit of worry in his eyes.

"Well. Actually, I haven't even thought about that. I was thinking maybe something really creative" I suggested

"Well yeah, of course it has to be creative." Dan said giggling. Ugh, his cute giggle.

"Oh, you know what we could do? We could maybe take a picture of us kissing and holding our hands out and you having you hand so the ring shows and send it to people?" I asked, it sounded like a good idea.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!, when do you think we should do it?" Dan asked getting excited.

Just then the waitress brought our food out and set it in front of us. Dan's face seemed to light up as soon as the waitress set it down. There's nothing I love more than seeing the gorgeous man in front of me happy.

After dinner….

We decided we would walk home. We set the check on the table and left a good tip and then home again home again. Our fingers locked and our hands were squeezed tightly together as we walked through the chilly streets of London to our flat. Dan started to shiver again, so I pulled him close and rubbed his arm as we walked. He was starting to shiver a bit more and I whispered in his ear "We're almost home" then kissed his head and hugged him, squeezing him. I felt him smile and then he giggled.

We get to the front door of our flat building and I hug him tightly before entering. We get the elevator and it takes us to our floor. I get my keys out and quickly unlock the door. I close it and lock it again after We enter. Dan stands there shivering and rubbing his arms as he walks over to the sofa. I run over and grab the blanket off the floor from earlier and wrap it around Dan, making him look like a burrito. A very adorable burrito.

"Phil, come, I want snuggles." I heard Dan call from the lounge. And of course I do as I am told without any hesitation. I walk into the lounge and see a Dan with a blanket draped over him with arms loose and open for me. I slide the blanket up so I could enter anf Dan immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me down before I could even get the blanket back. He holds me close to him and lays his head on my chest with his face towards mine. He looks into me with those chocolate eyes that make me melt. I move all his hair away from his face, to just see his face, which was rare. I press my lips to his with a passionate goodnight kiss.

And that's how he fell asleep, cradled in my loving arms. I did not move, I stayed snuggled up to him as I fell into a deep sleep, the best sleep I've had in a while. Right before closing my eyes I lean down and kiss his sleeping lips and whisper in his ear "I love you my brown-eyes angel."