TROY

Senior year, day five.

We're up by 3 right now, but it's been neck and neck.

It's pretty nerve wracking.

"Dude, Cheyenne Smith is looking so good tonight," Brett hands me the nachos I requested when he went to grab some snacks.

"So, talk to her," I shrug as if it's the easiest thing in the world. I know it's not.

"Nah."

Of course. Brett doesn't want to be tied down. I get it. It's the same excuse I've hid behind.

He throws some popcorn in his mouth, basically swallowing it whole. "So, where's Murphy tonight? Called him on my way over here, but he didn't answer."

"His cousin's in town for the weekend."

"Oh, Alex?"

I nod, dipping some chips in the nacho cheese before throwing it in my mouth. There's nothing better than watching football on a Friday night and eating some nachos. I love coming to the games. I know I play soccer, but I'm a pretty big football fan. Most of us are around here.

As we're snacking away, Gabriella, Morgan and Nicole squeeze through us and take their places back in the row in front of us after going to the bathroom.

A bunch of us are here.

Except Chris. Chris isn't here tonight and that's not going unnoticed.

"Dude, Nicole's looking pretty good too."

"Yeah?"

"All of them, but don't you fucking date repeat that to Murphy," Brett whispers, grabbing some more popcorn.

Gabriella turns back as if she heard us, but all she did was offer a smile and then turned around and placed her attention on the game.

Fuuck, I hate this.

I hate feeling guilty about my feelings for her.

After finishing my nachos and putting the trash on the floor for the time being, I take my phone out of my pocket and do something I shouldn't be doing. Chris is my best friend and I should trust him and even if he is lying, I should have his back right?

But I hate not knowing.

I hate that I don't think I trust him. That I want to find out if he's really telling the truth or not about being with Alex.

So, I go to Alex's instagram for any piece of information.

Nothing.

They're family. Maybe he got him to lie for him and told him not to post anything for the night.

I check his tagged photos, nothing.

And then I go to facebook and see if he posted a status, checked in anywhere, if a friend tagged him in anything and again, nothing.

Same with Snapchat.

I'm coming up empty handed. I should feel good about that because it means I'll never know and never knowing about his whereabouts tonight is probably better than knowing he wasn't with Alex. Right? I should leave it along and continue watching the game with my friends around me and enjoy the night.

But I don't.

I check Alex's Twitter and the last tweet he posted was, fuuuuck school.

Okay, nothing out of the ordinary.

I was about to swipe out of the app, but something told me to just check his favorites, his likes or whatever.

Bingo. His friend posted a tweet 28 minutes ago saying, little Alex all grown up. His first tat. We're so proud. Followed by a picture of Alex in a tattoo chair holding up a middle finger to the camera. And then he liked another tweet of another friend saying, party tonight. Hit me or Alex up for the address!

Fuuuuuuuck.

I shouldn't have fucking snooped. It's the last thing I should have fucking done right now.

But it's too late. I can't unsee this shit.

Chris isn't with Alex. Alex is getting tatted with his friends.

I feel sick to my stomach.

It's lie after lie with Chris lately and I don't even know what to think. Maybe he is being a good friend to this girl and helping her out bcause she's going through something shitty. Or maybe he's actually cheating on Gabriella with this Cara girl. I have no fucking idea what to think right now. And I have absolutely no idea what to do with this information I have been presented with time and time again.

It's almost as if I'm supposed to see this. I was SO close to just stop looking at Alex's shit and something told me to just check his Twitter account.

I hate this.

And when Gabriella turns around to offer me some of the licorice she got, I hate it even more.

God, she's so fucking perfect.

This girl does not deserve to be cheated on.

At all.

Everyone headed to Ryan Moore's house after the game.

We won, by the way.

All thanks to Ryan Moore himself.

I'm not really in the mood to be here, but I told Brett and Zach we'd come and I wasn't about to bail on them since I'm their ride.

Everyone's stoked and excited and it's kind of getting crazy all over here.

I need a break.

As I'm walking to head inside and grab a bottle of water, where Ryan has said we can help ourselves, Nicole Brier stops me. She's wearing a smile and has a red solo cup in her head and I'm not really sure what's going on. She looks kind of flirty and I'm just... not into it.

"Do you have a minute to talk?" She asks me.

"Yeah, sure," I nod.

"What's going on? Are you, like, talking to anyone? Seeing someone? Are you interested in anyone?" She starts shooting questions at me.

Um.

I have no idea how to answer this.

No, no, but yes. I'm very much interested in one of her good friends.

But no way. I cannot tell her that. I'd be out of my mind to say yes. Only because then it'll get back to people and I'll eventually have to make someone up and it's just too much work. Obviously, I'm going to say no.

"Um, no."

"So, you're fully single? Are you looking?" She brings the cup up to her mouth and take a sip, "because I know of someone."

"You know of someone?" I kind of laugh, relief it wasn't herself she was asking for.

"You should meet my cousin."

I've never met her, but I've seen her a couple of times. At a football game Nicole brought her to once, once at a party and then another time just out. I'm sure we exchanged hi's and wahtever, but fully met her and got to talking to her? No. She's pretty, for sure, but I'm just... I'm not interested.

I don't really know what to say to get out of it.

So, I kind of just give her a bullshit answer I know I'm going to regret later. "Can we talk about this in a bit? I really have to make a phone call."

"For sure."

She's going to corner me later. Nicole Brier never forgets anything.

I let out a deep breath as I walk into the house, go over to the pantry Ryan told me there are waters in and grab one.

"You hiding out?"

Fuck, that scared the shit out of me.

I turn around from leaning on the counter to Gabriella standing there with a small smile.

"I guess I could ask you the same thing," I tell her, realizing she's coming from the living room next door.

She shrugs, "not really, just making a phone call."

I nod.

I don't really know what else to say. I don't want to ask if it was to Chris because I don't want to talk about Chris. Or think about him. And what he's possibly doing right now. It's the last thing I want to think about. Out of sight, out of mind, you know? The less I think about it, the better for all of us.

"I can take Brett and Zach home," she tells me, "you look so disinterested being here. I have space in my car for them."

"I'm fine," I tell her.

"Really?" She challenges me, "you've barely talked to anyone all night."

"You watching me, Montez?"

She laughs and I'm so glad she didn't find that flirty. It just came out. And it could have been very awkward. "It's what I do. I sit back and observe."

I shrug, "I guess it's just one of those days, you know?"

"Oh, I know all about that," she opens the pantry to grab a water and then leans against the counter across from me, "at least we won, though, right? Pre-game, but gives us that much more confidence when we play them for real next month, you know?'

"For sure."

"Seriously, Troy, I can give them a ride if you want to go home. I know these shindigs aren't really your cup of tea."

"I pretend they are," I laugh.

She nods, "I know, for the sake of your friends which is really admirable."

I hate when Gabriella spews out information about me that's true. It makes me fall just a little bit more. It's insane. Brett could be like, dude, I got you skittles cause they're your favorite candy in the whole world and I wouldn't even blink. But Gabriella tells me something about me that's true and I fucking melt and smile like a fucking idiot.

"Well, you basically do the same thing," I point out.

"I guess so," she laughs, "so, why aren't you out with Alex and Chris tonight? From what I hear, you and Alex make Chris feel like a third wheel sometimes."

I laugh, "he told you that?"

She nods, "yeah, but it's hard not to get along with Alex. He's so... easy going."

"He is," I agree, "but um, wanted to come to the game."

"Right."

Fuck. I hate lying to her. I mean, technically I'm not lying because I didn't confirm they were hanging out, but now I know for sure that he told her the same lie and since I found out they're not really hanging out, I know for sure he's lying to her, too. For all I knew, he could have just told her he was sick.

There's a silence that fills the air and it's neither awkward or wanted, really. I don't know. We just don't really say anything for what seems like a while.

But she breaks it before I have the chance. "Do you ever kind of wish things were different?"

"Different how?" I ask.

"Just different," she says, a shrug following.

I think about it for a moment. Not really think about it, but I let a moment pass by. I do wish things were different almost every day. Only with certain things. Almost everyday, I wish things turned out differently for one of my cousins who can't play football anymore. I wish things were different for my grandma, who lost my grandpa a few years ago. And I wish things were different between her and I. I wish I had talked to her more at that party. I wish I had the balls to tell her she was absolutely beautiful and I know we just met, but maybe I can take you out sometime, show you around.

In those regards, I wish things were definitely different, yes.

"Yes."

"Me, too," she sadly smiles.

I'm not really sure what she means. It could be a whole bunch of things. School, her family, friends, Chris. I don't want to assume anything.

I take a sip of my water, letting this moment pass by. I don't really know what else to say.

Gabriella looks over at me and just smiles.

God.

I wish I could just take a few steps forward and kiss her.

But I fucking can't.