Rules For Living Near A Stargate

by kiwiswritings

Stargate's generally come with some amount of danger and well you need to keep that under control. Especially when you have teams like to act like three years olds on weekends. Here are some few fun rules to remember while hanging out either at the SGC or on Atlantis. told from oc p.o.v Sasha O'Neill. REWRITE of Rules For Atlantis.

9. Rule 74 - 80

Keely has now changed to Sasha. And she's now O'Neill niece…well because I can. Anywayyy…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN JOHN….I might own a Stargate though.

Atlantis – Chapter 9

Rule # 74: For God's sake, we DO NOT live in a yellow submarine. STOP SINGING THAT DAMN SONG!

{Someone introduced Teyla to The Beatles.}

{It's the only things she's been listening too.}

{and the rest of the Exploration.}

Rule # 75: Please stop painting red eyes on the walls and call the friendly Wraith Spies of Sauron.

{I was then forever banned on watching Lord Of The Rings Again.}

{It was John's idea.}

Rule # 76: Do not make Zelenka teach you how to say "Put your finger through your neck" in czech. It sounds like a throat disease and you'll end up in medbay. (that sentence has no vocals at all. It's true.)

{Chuck asked him one day.}

{Carson had him in the med bay faster than a cheater.}

{Man…he hears everything.}

Rule # 77: Do not say "Fascinating" in a completely deadpan voice. It's freaking Todd out when you do that.

{Seriously.}

{He stared at Rodney for an hour.}

{Then it started to freak Rodney out.}

Rule # 78: Do not space out staring at a Wraith. It disturbs them.

{Especially when I do it to Michael.}

{He had me locked up and whenever he walked past.}

{BAM instant staring.}

{I was later left on a planet with a stargate.}

Rule # 79: Calling Carson "Scotty" or "Mr. Scott" and asking him who let him out of Engineering and why he's running around with medical equipment when his specialiy is warp cores is not funny.

{I've never seen Evan run so fast.}

{-and then I got in trouble because I dared Evan to call him that.}

{Party poopers.}

Rule # 80: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away if you have a good enough aim" is not a valid rule.

{'It was with Janet' I would reply.}

{'That's because she got you in your sleep' Carson retorted.}

{Then I screamed like a little girl.}

{'Damnit! I'm CLEAN!}