First of all thank you again for your support! I'm still blown away that people are reading this. And the recommendations? I'm on the floor. Wow. Thanks!
I usually post on Sunday. When I sat down to write the next chapter, this happened instead. I feel like it really belonged with chapter five.
Edward used his forward momentum to stand up, pulling Bella with him. He knew without turning around he would find his family had departed. He had a lot of explaining to do.
For now, their moment had passed. Bella appeared to be merely confused, not embarrassed. It was very possible that she had missed Esme's shock.
"Bella-" Edward moved towards her as she took a step away. She put a hand against his chest and took a further step back.
"Edward. Please." He halted his advance. "Thank you for apologizing. You broke my heart that day in the woods. It took me a long time to get over you." He didn't comment about Jacob. She took a deep breath, "I looked for you. For years. That's why I went to Chicago. It's why I was going to Ithaca. After a while, I just couldn't anymore. It was time for me to grow up. I've moved on Edward. I'm married. I... I know both times we've been alone together... I..." At this Bella's face flushed as she both struggled to find words and deal with her embarrassment over her behaviour. "Look, the day in the woods, when you showed me what you really were? You told me everything about you was designed to lure your prey. I'm not your prey. Please stop using your supernatural advantage to lure me in."
He wanted to protest, he opened his mouth to do just that, but what came out was entirely different. "He's just so average. It's all just so... so... generic. This is what you want? Just an average life? You are so amazing, you deserve so much more."
"It's a normal life Edward. This is what I have. A nice, normal, finite life. It's the thing you kept telling me you didn't want to take from me. He's good. He hates violence, he can't even stomach a violent movie. He's kind and he loves me. Read his mind. You'll know that it is true. Since we've been together there has been peace in my life. I don't have to worry about my lover hurting me."
Perhaps it was unkind to point this out to Edward, who had spent his entire Bella filled existence terrified this would be the case. She did not intend to hurt him. She had no idea the depth of his feelings. In their argument he had told her he continued to love her, but she missed his every use of the present tense. Internally Edward died a thousand deaths. His expression gave nothing away. Bella read this as apathy, remembering the last time they had such a serious conversation, years ago, in the woods behind her house. It was that kind of hurt she feared from Edward. She would not break this time. She had no idea she was breaking the boy in front of her.
He said nothing as she walked out of the house.
As Bella closed the door Esme approached her son and put her arm around his shoulder.
When you're ready she thought.
"I'm sorry about the couch." He answered her out loud. His instinct was to run, but he wanted to stay and to do that, he needed to talk. "We argued, about the things I said to her when I left. She wasn't listening to me. I wasn't doing a good job of explaining myself. I lost my temper."
Esme continued to look at the damaged sofa in front of her. It had been a long time since Edward discussed things with her, and she didn't want to frighten him off with eye contact. She chose her words carefully. "You didn't look like you were arguing when we walked in."
Edward bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No. We weren't."
Mother and son stood together in silence for a moment. "She accused me of using my supernatural abilities to lure her in."
"Well, are you?"
He shook his head. "Around her, I'm disarmed. It's not just that I can't read her mind. I tell her things I shouldn't. Things come out of my mouth that I have no intention of saying. When I'm near her, I'm not supernatural." Edward whispered his next words, "I'm just a man."
If Esme could cry, she would have sobbed. She didn't want to push her son, but she feared for him.
She's married.
The thought slipped through, and ignited Edward's temper. "You think I don't know that? That I don't understand what that means? You heard what she said to me on the way out." Edward paused, gathering his emotions before they all spilled out and he followed them away from Forks forever. "I know what that means. But I also know what we had. I know now that I think I've lost it. I am her mate."
At this declaration Esme took Edward's face between her hands and stood in front of him. It was the first time she had ever heard him voice that he belonged to Bella. "Son. You know that I love you. You know that I will do anything to ensure your happiness, even if I don't agree with the actions you are taking to get there. I love Bella, I do. But I am afraid she is only human. I am terrified she will break your heart again. She is the only thing in this world that could break you in two. You won't get over losing her a second time."
Edward let his mother embrace him. He knew she was right. He had the same fear.