Rules For Living Near A Stargate

by kiwiswritings

Stargate's generally come with some amount of danger and well you need to keep that under control. Especially when you have teams like to act like three years olds on weekends. Here are some few fun rules to remember while hanging out either at the SGC or on Atlantis. told from oc p.o.v Sasha O'Neill. REWRITE of Rules For Atlantis.

10. Rule 81 - 90

A/N:

Keely has now changed to Sasha. And she's now O'Neill niece…well because I can. Anywayyy…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN JOHN….I might own a Stargate though.

Hey Hey look who's back!

SGC – Chapter 10

Rule # 81: "Do you want to see something strange and mystical?"

{ "NOOOOOOO! GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT WATCH! LAY OFF THE POOR BEAVERS, WILL YA? SHEEEESH! YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTILYOU SHOWED UP, JEEPERS! UUUUUUUUGH! GO HAVE SOMECOFFEE, WITH CREAM, OR SOMETHING! BECAUSE I'LL TELLYOUSOMETHING: THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!" }

{The whole rec room was dead silent after that.}

{Jack gave me a stern talking too.}

Rule # 82: "I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

{Syler.}

{I nearly died laughing when he said that to General Hammond and Kinsey.}

{Jack's face was priceless!}

Rule # 83 : Quotes from Zombieland are greatly discouraged around the SGC and small children.

{Especially small children.}

{Certain members of the SGC actually like this movie.}

*"Time to nut up or shut up!" {My personal favourite when frightening new recruits.}{It works...teeheehee}

*"I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig." {Jonas is horrible at saying a simple goodbye..}{I was so pissed off.}{"That's the worst goodbye in the world, and you stole it from a movie!"}

*"You wanna feel how hard I can punch?" {Teal'C.} {Simmons ran very fast.}

*"Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?" {Sam walked in at the wrong time.}{I saw her slowly shuffle out of the room.}

*"It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm." {Daniel.}

*"In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos." {Not sure if it's true...but hey..}

*"Hey, this may be a bad time, but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl." {It took the General and Jack about three seconds before they figured out what Walter meant.} {I laughed so hard I nearly passed out.}

Rule # 84: NO I AM NOT A FAIRY! AND DO NOT CALL ME ONE!

{Why do people think that I'm a fairy?}

{Well maybe it could have been the weird dresses I've been wearing lately}

{I blame Daniel for giving me wings}

Rule # 85: "This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of coffee and now I can see noises."

{That line is better with demented facial expressions.}

{Fraiser has been monitoring my caffeine intake.}

{Sam or Jack haven't been arguing...}

{"I'd rather not get Janet chopped."}

{Damn...That makes no sense.}

Rule # 86: Do NOT play Nyan Cat over the intercom.

{That was awful but awesome at the same time!}

{Jack's desk broke due to him bashing his head into it over and over.}

{Sorry Jack the twins made me do it.}

{You don't know who the twins are? They are the new members of SG-10.}

{Vala looks about ready to murder us while we're sleeping!}

Rule # 87: Never doubt how many viral videos I have seen..

{Sooooo many!}

* Nyan cat. {Prue thinks Nyan cat is cute and she wants it...she even named it Snow...

-_-'}

*The Annoying Orange. {"Hey, hey Apple...!"} {I did that to Jacob until he hung me from the rafters again...}

*Epic meal time. {Just...yeah...}

*The bed intruder. {General Landry and Jack were amazed Vala and I have what that guy says memorized...}{"He's climbing in your windows and snatching your people up...hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause he be raping everyone out here!"}{Yeah, we're nerdy...I have the t-shirt...I was actually wearing it...heeheehee}

*Sittin' on the toilet. {Hearing Teal'C singing that made me pass out laughing!}

Rule # 88: Seriously people Adsf Movie NUMBAH 4! IS A No quote.

*I'm gonna do an internet...Wahhhh!

I'm gonna do a book...oh

*{Com link comes through} This is a robbery

Dun dun dunnnn

Hang up {You don't want to hang up on Sam….that was awkward.}

*THE SCIENCE SHOW

{Piano somehow falls out of sky}

Whose Idea was this! {I say Daniel's but he wasn't there.}

*I wanna be a pie! {Mass Hall awkwardness}

*Nice hat

Oh thank you

I was being sarcastic

Well I stole your face { I don't honestly know what Daniel and I were doing. }

*I can dream Harold

{ There is no Harold on Base. }

*I am a Steg-Oh-sorus

*Quick shoot me in the face!

*Banana fight

NO!

*THROW THE CHHEEEESEE!

*"Are you ever going to run out of muffins?

NO. Because I work in zee muffin factory

{Jack and Me…Why? Because.}

Rule # 89: Whenever someone radios you, never say the following:

*"Sorry, wrong number." {Sam wasn't very happy with Jack.}

*"I'm sorry, the person/or Tok'ra you are trying to reach is not in.

Please leave a message after the beep." {Syler it doesn't fool anyone if you actually say…"beep."}

*"Pleasure centre, what tickles you?" {Jack avoided Bill for three weeks.} {I couldn't look at Bill in the eyes without giggling.} {Rather loudly.}

*"Oh my god, the voices are back again!" {I'm haunted by the stacks of mentality tests.}

Rule # 90: Sleepovers are not allowed in the gate room

{Whose bright idea was that?}

{...Oh right mine!}