"Darren. Hillary. Stuart. Today is the day," Topanga announced, enunciating each name with individual emphasis. With all of their attentions on her, she reached into her bag and produced a single light bulb.
Hillary gasped. Darren choked a little on his spaghetti, but recovered quickly. "This is it? We're really going?" he asked tremulously.
All around them, the normal sounds of an elementary school cafeteria continued in apparent ignorance of, or disinterest in, the affairs of the sixth grade geek table. As on any other day, Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter carried on loudly from the front of the room. The teachers, minus Mr. Feeny, sat together at the edge, trying to eat their meals while supervising dozens of children. A group of fifth graders laughed at the antics of a portly kid in their midst. It was more or less the same scene as it had been when the whole mess began, or on the first day of the year, or the day they returned as capable time travelers. Only, Stuart now realized, this would be their last day here. "Yes, we are," he affirmed. "But how did you know, Topanga?"
Her expression was one of mild perturbation. "Know what?"
"That today would be the final scene?" he asked. "Did you get that weird feeling in the back of your head? Or some sort of omen?"
"Oh, nothing like that. I simply chose it," she informed him matter-of-factly. "We're going to have our light bulb scene after school today."
Stuart felt his eyebrows jump up to his hairline. "Um, I don't think you can just do that." He looked to Hillary and Darren for support, but they just stared back in silence. Those two, at least, had been reasonably well-behaved, but of late Topanga seemed to be fighting back against his leadership. It had started at the whole mess with her dimensional copies. Fortunately, that had ended well, but now it seemed like she was trying to dictate terms to the powers that be.
"Well, there's only one way to find out," she countered.
Fuming, Stuart realized that there was little he could do to stop her. "Okay, we'll try it."
X-X-X-X-X
When the final bell sounded, Topanga turned around and addressed the boys. "Cory? Shawn? I wonder if you would help Stuart and I with an experiment. I believe we can demonstrate the power of our minds with this." She lifted up the bulb for all to see.
The two stars glanced at one another, and Shawn shrugged. "Uh, sure, why not?" Cory remarked.
Stuart frowned. The last of the students filed out behind Ms. Chase, leaving the four of them alone. Still, his sixth sense hadn't kicked in, which meant that whatever they were doing, it wasn't on the screen in anyone's home. He stepped up behind the love of his life, leaning over her desk, and the four of them huddled together. And then, his hands spasmed slightly as an intense itch exploded across the back of his head.
"If we think it can happen, it will happen," Topanga said calmly.
"You're saying we can light that light bulb without any electricity?" Cory asked, sounding dubious.
"The greatest power company of all is the human mind," she told him seriously.
Stuart nearly laughed out loud at her serious understatement. Sparking a little current through some tungsten wire was nothing compared to the things they had learned to do. Still, he chimed in with a clever jab. "Apparently Shawn didn't pay his bill."
"Those are cute last words," Shawn responded, but without any real menace.
Topanga shushed them. "Let's focus our psychic energies on lighting the bulb."
"There's no place like home… there's no place like home…" Cory chanted.
"Quiet!" Stuart snapped.
For a short moment, the four of them gave the light bulb their undivided attention, but without apparent affect."None of the electricity made it to the bulb, Topanga," Shawn said. "It all got stuck in your hair."
Stuart wasn't sure whether he was in character or not when he fired back. "There's your problem. No one here is taking this seriously. They don't care about your experiment, Topanga. The only way to demonstrate the power of their selfish minds is to have them concentrate on something they really want to see happen."
Cory and Shawn exchanged mischievous glances and then turned to look at him with intense gazes, as if trying to pierce him with mind bullets. He hesitated for just a split second before Jumping away.
He rematerialized in his kitchen, right beside the phone. Wasting no time, he punched in the number to Stacey Hunter's pager, and sent her the prearranged signal – 32768. Topanga's plan to jumpstart the Diaspora had apparently succeeded. Now, the clock was ticking - there was just one hour left.
X-X-X-X-X
They gathered on the roof of the elementary school. Hillary had been the first one there, having apparently just hung around after classes were over. Topanga and Darren arrived, with families in tow, via wormhole. There were a few stragglers present, including Stacey Hunter and (for some reason) Leonard Spinelli, the assistant manager of the nearest grocery store. All told there were about twenty five refugees present. Stuart wondered how far their secret had leaked.
The first draft of the evacuation plan had called for four distinct departure sites, each manned by one of the chrononauts. Stuart finally vetoed that logistical nightmare, mostly because he wanted to be able to count heads before they left. He delegated this task to Stacey, who had volunteered to help with organizational issues after he had promised to bring her along.
The four chrononauts gathered together at the edge of the roof, near the structure erected around the top of the stairs. Stuart peered over the edge at the school grounds below, watching out for any unscheduled disturbance.
"Where's your family, Hill?" Darren asked suddenly.
She gave a small, mirthless laugh. "Surprise! They're not coming."
"What? They didn't want to come?" he persisted.
"I wouldn't know. I never told them," she answered.
"What?" Topanga gasped.
Hillary seemed to be struggling not to cry. "I didn't want them to come. Not ever. Don't expect me to explain it all to you, but… well, not everyone has a family sitcom life, okay?"
"Hill…" Darren started.
"No, we're not talking about it," she said fiercely. "Maybe we could talk about where Stuart's mother is, though."
All attention turned to Stuart, and anything he might have said was cut off by the arrival of Stacey Hunter, swinging her clipboard nervously. "Well, we're still missing a few people," she reported. "How long do you think we should wait?"
"Who's missing, exactly?" Darren asked.
Stacey consulted her clipboard. "Stuart's Mom, all of Hillary's family, and Morgan Matthews."
"Morgan Matthews? Who's that?" Hillary asked.
"Cory's little sister," Topanga told them. "She told me she wanted out, but she wasn't there when I went to pick her up after school. I don't know where they've taken her. I told her to be waiting-"
"It's okay," Stuart reassured her. While he wanted to rescue as many as possible, having this many people gathered in one place made him nervous. "Maybe we can come back for her, but right now we need to get these people out of here."
"Oh, I don't know about that!" The five of them whirled around to see Mr. Feeny emerging from the structure behind them. He wore his usual classroom suit and a nasty smirk. "I'm afraid you won't be going anywhere just yet."
"What are you doing here, old man?" Stacey hissed.
"How did you know?" Topanga cried out.
"Simple, Ms. Lawrence," the madman cackled. "I know everything that happens in this universe. And you, Hunter… don't try my patience. I daresay your younger brother wouldn't miss you too much if you met a sticky end on this rooftop."
"Fine fine, you old buzzard," Stacey snarled. "So you found us out. Good work. Do you seriously think you can contain us? These kids can make wormholes. We'll just pop out of here and disappear from this stupid sitcom forever!"
"Ho ho! You think I don't know that? You think I didn't prepare for that?" the man scoffed. "Go ahead, children – Jump away!"
The four chrononauts looked at one another blankly. The rest of the would-be evacuees drew in closer to the confrontation.
"Go on, try it! Jump across the roof!" Feeny ejaculated. "Jump back twenty four hours and warn yourselves. Jump back two hours and move the evacuation. Just try it!"
Shrugging, Stuart nodded to his companions. He closed his eyes, focusing on the Jump equation… and fell to his knees, as a splitting pain shot through his temples. Around him, his fellow chrononauts likewise spilled to the ground.
"You see, I've got this!" Feeny laughed, reaching into his inside suit pocket and brandishing a small black box that looked something like a walkman. "It scrambles your wormholes. I'm afraid you can't go anywhere while it's activated."
Stuart got back to his feet shakily, facing his adversary. He clenched his fists and locked eyes with the madman.
"What? That's it?" Stacey laughed. "That little box is all that stands in our way? I think I've got a solution for that. How about we just carve you up and take it away?" She reached into her purse and pulled out what appeared to be a U.S. Army combat knife.
"He'll have thought of that, too," Stuart murmured, but no one else heard him.
Feeny's smile didn't waver. "Young lady, you're a Hunter through and through – tough and resourceful and about as sharp as a wet marble." He snapped the fingers of his free hand, and six black suited figures streamed from the structure behind him, each bearing an automatic assault rifle. With the precision borne of years of military training, they fanned out to either side of the madman, and trained their weapons on different targets. "Go on, admit it – I've beaten you. In this universe, I know everything. I know about all of your plans and about the late night lessons from Moon Child, that uptime harlot. I know the Jump Equations as well as any of you. I would like to know where Mr. Nesbitt went, but I suppose you'll have to time to answer all of my questions. "
Stuart's left eyebrow rose slightly. Feeny didn't know what had happened to Ned.
"So what now?" Darren asked, standing tall again.
"An excellent question. I have come here today on behalf of the producers to prevent the depletion of essential resources," Feeny announced.
"And by resources… you mean characters," Topanga inferred.
"And what are you going to do? Lock us in a room, and only let us out to play our scenes?" Hillary said.
Feeny tittered. "Yes, something like that. At least, I will secure all of the necessary resources… You, young lady, may go."
"What?" Hillary sputtered.
"Go on," Feeny laughed. "We don't want you. You only appeared in one episode with a minor part. You're free to go."
"I-" Hillary started.
"Oh, poor thing," the madman scoffed. "No one wants you, do they? Not your parents, not the producers… you're utterly forgettable and totally undesirable."
"I want you, Hillary!" Darren blurted out, and then reddened immediately. "Wait, I mean-"
"You too, sir, get on out of here. We don't want you, either. The scrambling field only extends for a short distance, so take the stairs down a couple of flights and disappear into the multiverse. I've already wasted too much time talking to you." Feeny gestured impatiently behind him.
"Who… How many of us do you actually want?" Stuart asked quietly. Even so, everyone seemed to have heard, as he suddenly became the center of attention.
"Ah, Mr. Minkus…" Feeny drawled, sounding almost like the gentle sixth grade teacher for a moment. "I'm afraid we don't need you, either. Your character was funny enough, but I think we've gotten about as much mileage from that shtick as we're going to. You're free to go."
"Who exactly are you keeping?" Stuart asked.
Feeny chuckled, looking over the group with an appraising eye. From the look on his face, he might have been shopping for cars or picking out cuts of meat at the butcher shop. It was clear the old man was enjoying putting them down. "Well, this isn't exactly a who's-who of the best and brightest, is it? Most of you are perfectly useless, of course. I suppose you may all go… except for you." He pointed directly at Topanga.
"Me?" she replied, her face scrunching up.
"Yes, we'll need you to stay… well, for the rest of your life, I suppose. I'm afraid someone is going to have to marry Mr. Matthews and bear him some children, if our show lasts long enough. Who knows? Maybe in eighty years some dumb brats will be calling you Great-Granny Matthews? How does that sound? Naturally, we'll have to make you sure you don't Slip away from us. We'll have to keep you under lock and key at all times. How does that sound?"
"You son of a bitch!" exclaimed Topanga's father. He stepped forward and pulled his daughter into an embrace. Nebula and Mrs. Lawrence appeared behind them.
"Yes, I suppose we'll need your parents as well," Feeny intoned. "Probably not the sister, though. You were a one-off joke at best. You may go." He looked around at the crowd assembled on the rooftop, as if noticing for the first time that no one had yet taken his invitation to leave. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on – get out of here! You're no longer on the show. So either you can leave, or we can find another way to remove you permanently."
At these words, the soldiers on either side of Feeny stiffened, awaiting the kill order.
"Go on," Stuart spoke up. "Darren, Hillary… take these people out of here. Go down to the ground floor and evacuate to… our destination. I'll stay here with the Lawrences."
"Stuart, I'll stay with you," Darren said.
"Yeah," Hillary agreed.
"No. Someone needs to take these people to safety, and I've chosen both of you. No more discussion – go," he commanded.
Darren and Hillary acquiesced. With a few fearful glances over their shoulder, the two of them led most of the assembled crowd into the stairwell. Stacey Hunter alone lingered. "Stuart…" she began.
"Go ahead, Stacey. Take Nebula with you. I'll see you both on the other side," Stuart told her. He pointed to the stairwell.
"I'm not-" Nebula started.
"Trust me," Stuart cut in. "The rest of your family will be along shortly."
"Okay," she acceded. "Just… thanks, okay?" She and Stacey walked away side by side, leaving him with Feeny, the Lawrences, and six well-trained gunmen. In the stillness that followed, they could hear the girls' footsteps thumping down the stairs for a couple of flights.
"Mr. Minkus, why do you remain? I told you that you could go," Feeny said
"Yeah, but you also knew that I would stay, didn't you?" Stuart asked.
Feeny smiled. "Of course." His voice seemed to have settled in. He didn't seem to be enjoying himself any longer; he was resigned to what must come.
"And we both know you're going to let Topanga and her family leave," Stuart went on.
"Not so fast, Mr. Minkus. I've already told you that we need them for the show. I have seen the future, and Topanga Matthews is in it," Feeny pointed out.
"Yes, but I met Moon Child, the uptime version of this girl-" Stuart said, pointing at his friend, "Who escaped from her sitcom after the first season."
"Quite the conundrum," Feeny sighed.
"You already know what I'm going to say, don't you?"
"Humor me. The proper form must be observed."
"What if I could find replacements for Topanga and her parents?"Stuart asked. "What if I knew of someone who would be willing to take her place?"
For Stuart, the process took less than half an hour. He walked downstairs, past the radius of Feeny's scrambling device, and Jumped out. He arrived inside the barricaded home, startling the inhabitants so severely that he nearly took a shotgun blast at close range. However, once he explained the deal it was readily accepted, and soon enough the group of them Jumped back to his native timeline.
"Have we got a deal, Mr. Feeny?" he asked.
The aged instructor eyed his prize student warily. "I don't know, Mr. Minkus – they look a little rough around the edges."
Stuart gave him a gracious smile. "Well, they've been through hell. Their version of Philadelphia has been overrun with zombies. They've seen terrible things, and suffered the deaths of most of their family. They've been trapped inside their homes for days, facing the prospect of starving to death. They'll clean up just fine. The crucial thing, as we both know, is that they're willing to take on the roles of the Lawrence family. I thought all along that we were sneaking around right under the producers' noses, but they knew everything that happened here, didn't they?"
"Assuredly," Feeny agreed.
"It's not that you or they are just permitting the switch. They want us to go, because we've gotten unruly. We're too difficult to control now. That's why I'm off the show, and why they needed a replacement for Topanga," Stuart went on. "She doesn't even know how to Jump, so you won't have to keep her under constant surveillance. Quite a bonus for you, isn't it?"
"Young man, I find my patience is running out with you," Feeny growled. "Why don't you take your friends and make good that wonderful escape plan you've been working on for so long?"
Stuart glanced at the (original) Lawrence family, cowering under the guns of Feeny's troops. Without further ado, he walked over to them, and took Topanga's clammy hand. When he pulled her away, the soldiers allowed it, and Topanga's parents soon followed.
Topanga pulled out of Stuart's grasp when they approached the replacement family. She stepped up to her quantum copy, and kissed her on her grimy cheek. "Thank you, Katherine."
"Don't thank me," the girl responded. Although the two were physically identical, Stuart could tell by the way she talked that she was a very different person from the Topanga Lawrence he had loved for years. Surely, the second season version of the character would change somewhat, but probably not enough to disturb any studio audience. "This is the best thing that ever happened to me – to us. After my sister Julia died…" She shuddered.
"I think you'll like it here," Stuart put in, and he meant it. "It's a pretty great place, most of the time."
"You may have to fall in love with Cory Matthews," Topanga warned her.
Stuart chuckled. "You know, he's actually a pretty good guy, once you get to know him. Who knows? You might even fall in love with him for real."
The grimy girl shrugged. "I will manage… come what may.."
"Well, take care of yourself, Katherine," Topanga said.
"I will," the girl promised. "But I think you should start calling me Topanga."
"Sure thing, Topanga," responded the original holder of that name.
With that, Stuart and the former Lawrence family departed, walking downstairs in silence. They reached the ground floor of the school without incident and stepped into the abandoned cafeteria.
"Mom, Dad, could you give us a minute?" Topanga asked sweetly.
Her parents exchanged a look, and nodded. They retreated into the hallway outside the cafeteria.
Stuart and Topanga walked over to their favorite table and took seats next to each other. For a moment, they stared at the empty seats surrounding them in silence. When he looked at her, he saw she was crying lightly.
"So, how long have you known I wasn't coming with you guys?" Stuart asked.
She sniffled. "A lot longer than you, I bet. Moon told me before she left."
"Right."
"When did you decide to stay?"
Stuart considered the question. "I don't really know – a long time ago, I guess. I finally realized this weekend that I'd already decided to stay; I just hadn't admitted it yet. I spent all weekend trying to ask my Mother to go with us, but I never could. It's weird, because she works way too hard and way too much, but I know she loves it here. Dad's grave is here, and I think she wants to visit it every weekend for the rest of her life, you know? And she wants to pay off the house and live here forever. I know that her life isn't everything she would want, but it's her home and she would never leave it. It's like Cory said to me… I know where my home is."
She studied his face very seriously as she took that in. "I respect your decision, Stuart, but I will miss you."
For a moment, he thought he might cry, too, but he held it off. "Aw, come on, we'll still see each other. I'll visit you in Neo Philly sometimes…"
"Sometimes?"
Stuart let out an amused breath. "Moon told us that time was on our side, remember? I mean, with the wormholes, I could spend weeks or months over there without ever missing a moment in my life here, but… She also told us that we are finite. I love travelling the multiverse and exploring freaky new realities but there's also something to be said for living the life of a normal teenager. Going to school, getting a summer job, spending time with my Mother and making new friends – I want all of that."
"Then you should have it," she said simply. "But that's not for me. After I drop off my family in Neo Philly, I'm going to hit the road interdimensional style!"
Stuart smiled, but it hurt a little. "You were born for it," he told her. "Look, I wanted to apologize to you."
"For what? Saving the day? Making sure everyone escaped Cory's World?"
"No… for the way I treated you, or the way I will treat you. You were right, the verb tenses are murder," he quipped. "I want to apologize for the way I treated you in my past and your future. I was kind of an ass to Moon Child, and that's you, really."
"Oh."
"I think I finally figured out what my problem with Moon. She was wild and free and all that, and… well, it's selfish, but that's not what I wanted you to become."
"What did you want me to become?" she asked.
He smiled ruefully. "Mine. When I met Moon Child, I knew she was the kind of woman who wouldn't be tied down to a husband and a family, and I guess I reacted poorly to that. So I'm saying I'm sorry. I just need to accept you for who you are, not judge you against the person I want you to be."
"Wow, that's pretty heavy," she said. "For what it's worth, though, you're a great guy, Stuart Minkus, and your future wife is the luckiest woman I know."
"If I ever get married."
"You will," she told him. She reached out her left hand and cupped his cheek, pulling him in for a tender kiss. She tasted like blueberries. "She told me all about that, too."
They stood up, and she squeezed his hand one last time. "Good bye, Stuart Minkus," she said, stepping away from him, back toward her parents.
"Good bye, Topanga Lawrence," he called after her.
She stopped and threw him a mischievous smile over her shoulder. "You know, I think I'm going by Moon Child from now on."
Stuart watched her walk away. When she rejoined her parents at the entrance to the cafeteria, she linked hands with them, and the three Lawrences disappeared together.
"You'll always be Topanga to me," Stuart said softly, his quiet words vanishing into the open space around him.