Chapter 16: The Beauty of Silence

Clarke

I sighed, finishing putting the data in the computer. It was way past the time for me to check out of the hospital—I was an intern for fuck's sake, not a doctor! But my mom…she hates Lexa with a burning passion, and I resented her for that.

"Clarke, there's another patient," I heard her say. I was seething.

"No."

"Clarke…"

I swung around. "No, Mom. You take care of the patient. I'm a fucking intern. I've already worked double of my regular times. So guess what? I'm not coming in tomorrow. At all. Because guess what? I complete my internship with the amount of time I complete, not the amount of days I do. So I'm not coming in tomorrow."

"You do not get to speak to me like that, young lady! I'm your mother and your boss."

I laughed bitterly. "I'm twenty-four years old, mother. I'm not an incompetent child, mother. And as for the boss? I'm requesting a change in who I work for, as this is becoming a conflict of interest."

"Conflict of interest? Really?"

"Yes. And you're fucking ridiculous! I'm engaged to Lexa, who you hate for no reason, so you're making me work double time. Plus, Dad came to the house today, so I wasn't there when he got there! Not to mention that Lexa is going to have to stay up to make sure I eat when I get home. So dammit, mother, just knock it off!" I grabbed my bag from the chair, quickly clicking enter on the screen and powering the computer off. "I'm done, mom. I'm done." And I stormed past her. She was so ridiculous all the fucking time!

I was seething the whole drive home, my shaking hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were white. I had to pay attention to my driving, especially with my current mood and icy streets.

I arrived to the apartment safely, shaking hands struggling to turn the doorknob. It took a minute and some deep breathing, but I made it inside. Harper and Octavia were perched on the couch watching TV while Lexa and Dad sat at the table, deep in conversation.

Octavia was the first to notice my presence. "Clarke!"

I gave her a small smile.

"Rough day?"

"Every day with my mother is a rough day."

"There's food for you," Lexa spoke up. She got up and grabbed a plate off the counter, which appeared that she made it not that long ago. I subtly sniffed the air as I moved to the table. I glanced at the plate. Chicken, green beans, and applesauce.

"Did you eat?" I asked.

She nodded. "At the café. Octavia was slammed so Harper and I ended up helping out. Mainly because Raven was too stubborn to help her."

"She use the 'I'm a mechanic, not a barista' line?"

"That she did," Octavia answered.

I shook my head, sitting down. Well, Lexa pushed me down in the chair. She grabbed me a can of Pepsi, placing it beside my plate.

"Hey, I want a soda!" Octavia called.

With a chuckle, Lexa grabbed a sprite for Harper, a cherry cola for Octavia, and a root beer for herself and my father. She sat beside me, drawing her legs up onto the chair as she sipped the fizzy drink. I could never drink root beer, there's just way too much fizz. And the flavor…I can't explain it, but I hate it.

"Hey, Jake? Do you know how to play Black Ops?" Octavia called out suddenly, holding out one of the PS3 remotes.

My father joined her on the couch, taking on the remotes. Harper laughed, pulling out her phone ready to video them. I sighed contently, finishing my dinner. Lexa ran a hand down my back, then stood, standing beside me, her hands massaging my shoulders. "You're so tense, Klark." I tensed up at that. Being tense was…natural to me now. I was so used to the constant ache in my muscles. So when I automatically started to feel my muscles relax to Lexa's massaging I almost wanted to pull away. Almost.

"Lexa."

"Hmm?"

I bit my lip, holding back a yawn. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Which mas my way of silently telling her I wanted to be alone. And she understood it. The rare moments when I wanted away from everyone, including her, she understood.

"Do you want a bath?"

I thought about the hot water and my aching muscles and I nodded silently.

"Okay." She kissed the top of my head, and walked to our bedroom, which had our own private bathroom connected to it. I stood up slowly, stretching, and finally followed her, still sipping my soda. In the bedroom, I could hear the water running. Lexa came out of the bathroom and gave me a small smile. Setting my soda down on the bureau, I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her in a silent thank you.

Lexa

I joined my friends after making sure Clarke was settled with her bath. I hated how Abby did this to her. How Abby hurt her in ways that made her close up and want to be in solitary. And I hated that I was the reason for the mother-daughter relationship to be failing. Absentmindedly I sat beside Harper, who was still videoing Jake and Octavia's video game.

"You okay?" she asked, and even though I was grateful for how caring she was, I silently cursed her as Jake turned to me and he could see through any façade I put up. But he was in the middle of a game and couldn't bail, so I put a fake smile on my face and answered with "yeah, just tired. Long day today."

Harper and Octavia nodded, buying. Jake, clearly, did not. He had the ability of reading me like a book, which I loved but was aggravated by at the same time. I got up and went to grab some pretzel sticks and another can of root beer. To tide me over until bedtime. The clock said 8:45, so there was still a while to go.

Jake and Octavia finished their game within a half hour, and Octavia announced she needed a shower and Harper went to rummage through the kitchen politely, after asking permission, which is something Octavia has yet to learn. Jake sat beside me, with a knowing look on his face.

"Okay. Talk."

I pressed me lips together, not saying a word.

"Okay, fine. I'll talk then."

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You feel guilty." I was taken aback. He really could read me. But I refused to acknowledge he was correct. "Clarke and Abby's little war. You feel that it's your fault, and even though you love Clarke, you wonder if she'd be happier if she had her mother and not you." I looked away, confirming he was right. "Well, you're wrong."

"How am I wrong?" my voice cracked. I don't get emotional easily, but when it came to Clarke, I could be destroyed with just a few words…or thoughts.

"You chose her. You two have been through so much, yet you stay by her side. Abby…she wants Clarke to choose between herself and you. And you know what? Clarke chooses you, because you don't expect her to choose one over the other. She wants you, and if she could only have one person in the world, it'd be you."

"He's right, you know," a voice came from behind us. I turned and gave Clarke a sheepish smile. She walked over and tucked a loose curl behind my ear. "It's getting late." It was her way of saying she wanted me to be there for her, with her.

"I'm ready for bed," Octavia complained just in time, exiting the bathroom in a pair of borrowed pajamas. "I'm crashing on the couch."

"Where am I sleeping?" Harper piped up, munching on a cookie she found.

"I've got an air mattress in the closet," Clarke replied, going to get it and the air pump. With Harper's help, they set the very noisy bed up after moving the coffee table out of the way.

"Let's go to bed," Clarke grabbed my hand, leading me into our room to get a much needed rest.