A/N:

Keely has now changed to Sasha. And she's now O'Neill niece…well because I can. Anywayyy…

Disclaimer: I still don't own Stargate. Damnit

Whoops…so … stuff happened. And I forgot - heh

Atlantis – Chapter 13

Rule # 106: Ball pits are now banned on Atlantis. For good. As well.

{ Whoever thought they were good for Atlantis was wrong.

They were terriblefor the SGC. }

{ Rodney seems to have realised that we had one on the SGC. So he's becoming Daniel. }

{ even when John tried to get him out, he would duck under the balls and pop back up somewhere different yelling 'bazinga' }

Rule # 107: Never encourage Rodney to better anything Doctor Lee had done

{ he will find the old reports }

{ he will study those reports }

{ he will make those said reports real. And make them … ten. Times. Worse. }

Rule # 108: Never greet any of the new recruits with nature videos

{ especially the one of the small owl eating a large rodent }

{ 0.o }

Rule # 109: 'I wanna kill him' 'take a number and wait in line.'

{ Michael has a long list }

{ Kenny … is not too low on that list actually }

Rule # 110: Cadman and I are no longer allowed to play on a rope attached to a pulley.

{ I thought that if it couldn't be me and Evan. It could be with someone else. }

{ coincidently it does not. }

Ruley # 111: There will be no more staring at a new Atlantis members, grinning and then announcing that 'I have new socks on'

{ no seriously Carson had about half of them come to him and ask if this job was good for their mental health. }

{ to which he replied. "No. It most certainly is not." }

Rule # 112: No more walking around the base with a cooler that says "Human Head" on it.

{ because most of the marines will tackle you to the ground. }

{ and lets be honesty they are as heavy as they look }

{ Elizabeth and John weren't happy that Ford and I decided to join forces. }

Rule # 113: Please, also for the love of god, do not go around to people saying that you can see their aura.

{ no one will know if you are joking or not. }

{ we are in a different galaxy people! }

{ no one knows what to believe anymore! }

Rule # 114: No quoting 'Bob's Burgers'

*"John you're on the grill

My crotch is itchy

*"No one sheds like this family, it's like a bunch of Chewbaccas

{ The girls toilets is usually a nightmare to clean }

*"I hope they're using protection because I am not taking care of that baby.

{ oh … Keller and Rodney. }

{ it's just .. awful }

*"Frowny face? All I've been is super nice to you and this is the thanks I get? I loved you, I loved you like a horse, which is my favourite animal. You know what, let's just stop before we both say something we'll regret, like that horses are better than cows. I regret that, but it's true.

{ I …. Todd doesn't want to come by anymore. }

*"So you're not going to get revenge today?

Michael: No Sasha, I'm not

Okay got it. Then I won't bring your credit card….which I cut into a ninja star!

Oh, you cut my credit card?

INTO A NINJA STAR!

{ I … don't even know how Michael got his hands on a credit card. }

{ but apparently that day we went 'out' he wasn't looking for revenge. }

{ finally. }

*"Hey I'm sorry. It's this planet, it gives me some of the nerves. Come Here. Hug for luck.

*Lorne goes in for the hug.*

YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT! YOU DON'T HUG FOR LUCK IN THE PROTECTING THE UNIVERSE FROM IMPENDING DOOM BUSINESS.

{ Evan wasn't feeling to well on a mission }

{ and I decided to calm him down with a hug…. }

Rule # 115: Reports are no longer allowed to start with 'Stardate'

{ seriously it was cool at first … pretending that we're on a starship. }

{ but then the stardate's got weird. }

{ stardate 90210. }

{ stardate 911. }

{ stardate 10010110110010110 }

Rule # 116: Whenever an announcement comes over the loud speakers, do not curl up on the floor and scream 'OH NO, ITS THOSE VOICES AGAIN'

{ that really … isn't a good look }

{ Evan was having a little bit of a mental break down that day }

Rule # 117: do not for the love of god hide in the lockers in the locker room.

{ I almost shot Rodney }

{ he said there were strange readings coming from the room }

{ … it was my locker he was in. }

Rule # 118: Do not go to the armoury and ask where the antidepressants are.

{ especially when holding a gun }

{ Carson will have you strapped to a bed in no time. }

Rule # 119: When off world, we do not hum the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

{ it makes us look extremely suspicious }

{ although it wasn't my fault. }

{ John started it. }

Rule # 120: When off world, again, if one of the locals comes up to you. Do not start crying and screaming 'WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?'

{ no one will understand }

{ because we came to them }

{ just don't do it. }

{ …Rodney }