Regina's head snapped up from her desk when the phone rang. She answered, irritation coloring her voice. That was the third time that week that she had fallen asleep at work. No matter how much coffee she consumed, she could not battle the fatigue reigning over her life at the moment.
She angrily chastised herself when she slammed the receiver back down onto its cradle. Regina gasped when she looked down at the proposal she was supposed to be reviewing to see smudges of lipstick where her mouth was resting upon the paper.
Glancing at the clock, the mayor saw that it was 2:15. She had been asleep for a solid half hour. Shit. I can't keep doing this. Regina stood up, deciding that maybe she just needed to splash a little cold water on her face. That ought to wake her up a bit. She scooped up her purse, knowing that she would have to redo her makeup.
The hard water collided with the brunette's face, its icy temperature pricking her cheeks and eyelids. She filled her cupped hands again, her own fingers rapidly losing their own heat when they rose to slosh the liquid all over her face again. After the third splash, she licked some of the water droplets from her lips before snatching up some paper towels.
She dabbed lightly at her now chilled skin until it was dry again. When she looked into the mirror before her, the reflection tiredly eyeing her almost startled the mayor. Her skin was pale, throwing the shadows underneath her eyes into sharp relief. The corners of Regina's mouth seemed almost slack with exhaustion, and she noticed the way her normally squared shoulders drooped like those of a commoner.
Her expression soured at the way she was so easily defeated by losing a few hours of sleep every night. That was the problem. Regina inexplicably found herself in Emma Swan's hospital room every single night shortly after 2am. Sometimes she would stand there and simply stare at the Savior, and other nights, she would sit in the uncomfortable chair beside the sheriff's bed and hold her frigid hand.
Regina's heart jumped at the memories of Emma's own heart hammering every time the mayor laced her fingers with the Savior's. She felt a sinking sensation in her stomach and shame washed through her. She was Regina Mills, mayor of Storybrooke and formerly the Evil Queen that lorded over the Enchanted Forest. There was no reason she should be acting like a little schoolgirl, stealing moments after classes with a first crush.
She shook her head, trying to push all the traitorous thoughts she was having to the back of her mind, and tried to refocus on all of the work waiting for her on her desk. However, she knew, try as she might, that her concentration was destroyed for the day.
Regina left the bathroom and glanced at the clock upon re-entering her office. It read 2:35. Henry would be leaving school. If it had been any other time, he would be walking back to the mayoral mansion, fixing himself a snack and then sitting down to do his homework. But that time was long gone.
She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, frustration clouding her already-fatigued mind. A dull ache was beginning to throb at the back of her head, and all Regina could think about was slipping into a hot bath with a glass of wine.
But, as always, there were things that she had to do before she could let herself unwind. The mayor told herself to finish reviewing the proposal, and then she would leave early. After that, she would stop at the store for dinner ingredients. Regina was feeling something simple like stir-fry, after which she could finally wander off into oblivion for a few hours. Regina had her plan as she always did. Now, it was just a matter of following it.
The mayor was leaving the little grocery store when she caught sight of Henry chatting animatedly with Mary Margaret Blanchard in the small parking lot. The three immediately noticed each other, and the air suddenly felt thick with tension.
Regina looked at her son, a relieved smile splitting her features. She started walking over to the pair, eager to talk to him. Mary Margaret faintly looked as though she would like to vomit, while Henry appeared scared and nervous at first, then a hard look of determination covered his features.
"Henry! Oh, Henry, thank goodness you're okay! I can't tell you how much I've worried about you!" Regina knelt down in front of the boy, not sure if she should try to embrace him. She drank in the sight of her son, having not seen him for a small eternity.
Henry was far less pleased to have run into his adoptive mother. "Who is he!" he shot at her.
Her smile faltered. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Emma's True Love! I know you cursed her, and I know the only way to wake her up is with True Love's Kiss!"
Regina blinked, hurt and taken aback by his blunt accusation. "Henry..."
"No! I know you know who he is, and you're probably keeping him somewhere where he can't get to Emma! Who is he!"
"Henry, I am not some evil witch, and I did not curse Ms Swan! Dr Whale is doing everything he can to find out what happened to her, but I can assure you that I had nothing-"
"You liar! I will find him! I will save my mom!" He intentionally threw that last word into Regina's face, knowing how much it hurt her. He turned and ran off toward Mary Margaret's car, launching himself inside before slamming the door shut.
She turned her infuriated gaze to the woman standing before her.
"Mayor Mills... I'm, uh..."
"Save it, Ms Blanchard. I do not want to hear even a fraction of one of your pathetic excuses. But if I find out that you have been indulging my son in his foolish notion that I am some sort of fairy tale villain, you will regret it." With that, she turned and left the cowed woman where she stood, rooted to the pavement.
Regina hurled the empty wine glass she was clutching at the wall. It shattered soundly, and the sharp tinkling of glass fragments striking the floor pleased the raw fury pounding through her veins. She had half a mind to take everything breakable around her and destroy it. She had no magic, there weren't any peasants to slaughter in blind rage, and she wasn't the Queen anymore.
A deep, carnal roar tore from her throat. That was the first time she had seen Henry since he stormed into her home, screaming at her for what she did to Emma. The worst part of it all was that he was entirely right about everything. Well, almost everything. She was in no way hiding Emma's True Love in some dungeon. She didn't even know who it was. Rather, she didn't know in any way she was prepared to admit to.
Regina suddenly found herself missing the fights she had with the sheriff. Now those she could handle. Fighting with her son, and seeing the way he looked upon her with disdain, she could not handle. Emma was easy to fight with. The woman wore everything on her sleeves, she seemed to be bound by a code of honor, and she was a terrible liar.
Regina did respect the way that the sheriff stood her ground, and she was even more impressed with how Emma never failed to make eye contact with her adversaries. She even challenged Gold, when the opportunity arose. Emma usually wound up being a maelstrom of chaos, but she was firm with her beliefs, and loyal to those around her.
Regina liked the way Emma's emerald eyes bored into her own, and the sure, steady clomp of her boots when the sheriff came charging into Regina's office, and the way her brow knit when she was thinking, and just how impossibly close she would bring her face to Regina's when they were arguing. And... Shit! What the hell am I thinking of?! She is the reason your life is upside down, Regina! Pull yourself together!
Whatever was happening to her, the mayor knew it was bad. A nagging voice at the back of her mind also notified her that she had no idea how to stop it. If anything, that frightened her beyond belief. Ever since her evil wretch of a mother killed her lover right in front of her, Regina had dedicated her life to schooling her emotions. She spent many years learning how to control and quell them. The fact that these little feelings flitting about her brain could not be caught and destroyed infuriated the controlling woman.
She also knew that it would only get worse if she continued to stew about it. She needed a distraction. She set about cleaning up the mess she made, and then started to make herself dinner. She found it much easier to make smaller meals now, but it still caused her heart to involuntarily clench with grief.
After eating a very lonely supper, Regina cleaned up, poured herself a fresh glass of wine and walked slowly upstairs. She walked into the master bathroom, turning on the tap to fill the Jacuzzi with steaming hot water. She poured a few drops of lavender oil into the swirling mix before stripping out of her clothes.
It felt blissfully calming against her tired body while the lavender scent soothed her buzzing nerves. The wine helped her relax a little more, and after ten minutes, just soaking, a contented sigh escaped her lips. It was exactly what she needed.
Regina was in bed, reading a book to pass the time. She was feeling infinitely better than she was earlier on in the day. Her chest didn't feel so tight, and her headache had abated. She was reading some pointless fantasy book full of adventure, danger and magic, of course. It turned out to be one of her little guilty pleasures. She thought it was hilarious to read what the people in this realm thought magic would be like. She even secretly read all of Henry's Harry Potter books. The notion of magic in those novels especially amused Regina.
A little beeping sound from the alarm clock on her nightstand startled her from her immersion in the book. She promptly closed it, hitting a button on the clock to stop the repetitive noise. She slipped off of the bed, taking a deep breath to calm her suddenly jumpy nerves. This trip to the hospital would be no different from any of the others; however, the fact that she was now setting alarms for herself disturbed the brunette.
Regina stared down at the blonde. She looked almost peaceful. The mayor was used to seeing a look of frustration or exhaustion on the sheriff's face. In this state, all of the furrows on her brow had smoothed out, her normally tight mouth relaxed and the bags under her eyes had disappeared entirely.
"What are you doing to me, Emma Swan?" She whispered the words, hoping that if she asked it out loud the answer would reveal itself. "Why am I pulled here every night? Why do you invade every corner of my mind? What do you want from me?"
Regina delicately set herself down in the chair, pulling Emma's hand into her own. The familiar increase in heart rate sounded from the machine nearby. The mayor sandwiched the sheriff's fingers between her palms, bleeding as much body heat as she could into those cold digits.
It became almost routine for her to warm up the woman's hands while she was there. And whenever she palmed the blonde's fingers, they twitched against her own, seeking out a more intimate connection. Regina began to crave that, and she occasionally allowed herself to think that it made her feel wanted in someway. That someone, even the cursed, unconscious form of her enemy, wanted to touch her.
She looked at Emma's face again. She had studied those blank features so intensely that she felt as though she could map them out in her sleep. Unfortunately, the blonde's face was popping up in her dreams more often than they ever had before. It used to be nightmares that she had about the Savior. She feared the day that Emma rallied the town to overthrow her...to kill her.
As of late, the nightmares about her sheriff changed to one single dream. It was always the same. The two of them stood alone in the bedchamber of her castle in the Enchanted Forest. Emma was in her usual garb, red leather jacket standing out brightly against all the dark colours that Regina preferred.
Emma's arm was extended, hand reaching out to her. She was smiling gently, in a reassuring way, silently asking for her Queen. Invisible strings tugged the Queen toward the woman who so clearly did not belong in her sleeping quarters. She felt her hand come up, moving toward the beseeching Savior, somehow knowing that she would be saved if she took that offered hand.
The Queen felt her fingertips slide against Emma's, watching them tangle together. Yet, the blonde's digits were unnaturally cold, startlingly so. They felt more like death. Her eyes snapped up to the other woman's green ones. She saw that warm, reassuring smile on the Savior's lips falter. Something wasn't right. And then, Emma's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she collapsed against the floor, still as death.
That was usually when Regina would snap out of her sleep, covered in sweat, breathing heavily. Every time she awoke, she knew that her own fatal touch caused Emma to fall. Her fingers held death. Even with that knowledge, every time she slipped into the dream, she could not stop herself from wanting to take what the blonde offered. Regina still couldn't figure out what her brain was trying to tell her.
The mayor kept her eyes focused on Emma's face, rememorizing every dip and curve of her skin. Her chocolate eyes fell on the swell of the sheriff's thin lips. She unconsciously licked her own, concentrating on the palw pink color the other woman's were. She imagined that they would be soft and welcoming.
Regina felt those invisible strings tugging at her again, and she found herself leaning low over Emma's face, her eyes taking in the face before her. She had never touched anything other than the blonde's fingers, but now, the brunette found her hand reaching for the woman's face.
She rested her fingertips on one pale cheek but snapped it away almost immediately. Emma's face was as cold as her hands. She moved again, cupping her palm fully against the Savior's face, cringing slightly at the woman's frigid feel. Regina could almost see the heat being pulled away from her own flesh.
Her chocolate eyes fell to Emma's lips again, and she found her thumb moving to stroke them lightly. A gasp tumbled from her mouth when she felt that Emma's lips were not frozen like the rest of her. They were almost hot to the touch by comparison. The Savior's heart rate doubled its speed the moment her mouth was grazed by Regina's finger.