Inspired: A Wish For Something More by Amy MacDonald

A Wish For Something More

Gilbert sat on the bleachers with one knee drawn up to his chest and watched Matthew chat with the newest exchange student. She was beautiful, with a large ribbon in her hair and larger breasts, and Matthew lit up when she laughed.

Gilbert glowered and tried to ignore the tugging on his heartstrings.

It was hard.

She pointed to a page in her agenda and Matthew leaned forward to see, explaining some minor detail that seemed to fascinate her. That, or she was fascinated with the soft spoken blonde instead.

Gilbert watched his best friend with the eyes of someone who wanted so much more and could not have it.

"So… She seemed nice," Gilbert hummed as the two of them walked home together.

"Yekaterina?" Matthew blushed. "Uhm, yes, she's very nice. She just immigrated from the Ukraine."

"Uh huh," Gilbert nodded, not really paying attention. He did not actually care.

"I asked her to the homecoming dance."

Gilbert stopped dead and stared at his back as Matthew continued walking.

"… What?"

Matthew turned around.

"I asked her out. She said 'yes'."

Gilbert opened his mouth, thought better of declaring his undying affections, and closed it again. He forced himself to smile.

It hurt his cheeks.

"That's… Great…"

Gilbert sat on his porch with a pillow clutched in his arms a stared moodily into the distance. His pet budgie cheeped from the cage in the corner, sheltered from the wind but far enough outside that his mother would not box his ears.

This whole situation was absurd.

Why did he even like Matthew? He was absentminded and awkward and insecure. He never spoke his mind. He rarely stood up for himself. He was too quiet and too shy and much too timid.

His hair was a mess of blonde curls and his shoes were always untied. His sweaters were two sizes too big and the hems of his jeans were tattered and his rucksack was falling apart.

And he was beautiful.

He always kept his promises. He never expected anything in return. He was kind and gentle and sweet.

And Gilbert was in love with him.

He squeezed the pillow a little tighter and thought about the dance tomorrow.

"What should I do, Gilbird?" He asked the yellow budgie. It cheeped and climbed up the cage using its beak and talons. Gilbert offered it one of his fingers and it bit him. "Ow!"

Perhaps the budgie was right. Perhaps the time for overindulgent whining was over. Perhaps it was time to stand up and fight for his affections.

And make a fool of himself, of course, but that was par for the course.

"Alright, Gilbird. You're right." Gilbert straightened the set of his shoulders. "Of course you're right. Let's do this!"

Gilbert stood beside the great double doors to the gymnasium and waited for his best friend to trail in with his date. He held a wilting pink corsage in his sweating hands and waited for the most awkward moment in his life.

The other students wandered through the doors in twos and threes, laughing and smiling. Gilbert did not feel like smiling; he felt like throwing up.

Finally Matthew and Yekaterina came in. She was resplendent in a pale blue dress but he was gorgeous in a dark shirt and purple tie. Gilbert swallowed and the sound echoed in his head despite the pounding music.

He turned on his heel and flat out ran to the bathroom.

"Oh fuck. What was I thinking?"

He splashed some water on his face and grasped the edge of the sink with shaking hands.

"This is ridiculous. This is ludicrous." He stared at his reflection and bit his lip. "This is selfish, that's what this is."

He glanced between the corridor that led back into the gymnasium and the window set high in the wall, weighing his options. Dance, bathroom. Dance, bathroom. Charge, retreat…

After a moment of deliberation, he started climbing out the window.

Gilbert sat on his bed and picked at his fingernails. He knew that he had done the right thing by leaving. He knew it.

It was the right thing to do, so why did he feel so awful? He felt like his heart was being torn into little pieces.

Ugh…

'Tap', 'tap', 'tap'.

Gilbert walked over to the window and threw it open just in time to get a pebble in the face.

"Ow! Shit!"

"Oh, dear! Gilbert! I'm so sorry!"

"You hit me in the head. With a rock!"

"I'm sorry!"

Gilbert blinked and looked down at Matthew. He was standing on the lawn with his sleeves rolled up and a handful of pebbles. His tie was loose and draped around his shoulders.

"… What are you doing here?"

"You weren't at the dance."

"I was. I, uhm, climbed out the window…"

"What?"

"Nevermind. Where's Yekaterina?"

"I, erm, I dropped her off at home… Wait, why did you leave?"

"I didn't want to get in your way."

Matthew cocked his head to the side.

"In the way of what?"

"In the way of your date."

"Is this about Yekaterina? You've been avoiding me because of her?"

Gilbert jumped.

"What? No! I haven't been avoiding you!"

"You have too!"

"I have not!"

"Gilbert, you're my best friend! I think I would notice if you were avoiding me."

"Maybe I don't want to be your best friend!"

Matthew dropped the pebbles in his hand. He gawked at Gilbert.

"You… What?!" He sounded offended.

"I, uhm, well…" Gilbert trailed off, the bluster fading as Matthew put his hands on his hips. "I just… I don't want to be your friend."

"Since when?!"

"Since I…"

"Since when, Gilbert?!"

"Since I wanted to be your boyfriend instead, okay? Alright? Is that awkward enough for you? Huh?!"

Matthew opened and closed his mouth in surprise and Gilbert felt his face heat up. That was the most embarrassing thing he had ever said, bar none, and it was about to ruin his friendship.

"I…"

"Look, Matthew. I'm sorry. Forget it," Gilbert ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He was not about to let his own selfishness ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him. "I didn't mean it…"

"Yeah, okay."

"I… What?"

"Okay. I'll go out with you."

"Huh?"

Matthew smiled.

"I'll go out with you."

"I, erm… What about Yekaterina?"

"What about her? She agreed to go out with me to make you jealous."

"… What? You knew that I liked you?"

Matthew laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Uh, duh. Who did you think you were kidding? The long lingering glances? The touches? I mean really…"

"I… What?!"

"Look, do you want to kiss me or not?"

Gilbert scratched the back of head in confusion.

"I… Yes, I do."

"Then get down here and kiss me."

"… Okay."

Gilbert stepped away from the window, amazed at his luck. Matthew wanted something more too…

He turned around and saw the corsage lying on his bed.

"Hey Matthew!"

Matthew looked up from where he was waiting.

"What? Get down here and kiss me!"

"In a second. Catch!"

Gilbert tossed him the corsage. He caught it with deft fingers and raised an eyebrow.

"What is this…?"

"Your corsage."

"That's pretty romantic for someone who should be kissing me."

"Yes, yes, hold onto your pants!"

"Not a chance."

Gilbert grinned and leapt down the stairs two at a time.

Author's Notes:

Oh dear, they are idiots. Seriously.

This chapter was requested by Nena. The song caught my attention because of the lines: "I think you're beautiful, But your hair is a mess, And your shoes are untied, But that's what I love best". That is absolutely how I see Canada. Hands down.

All of my love to everyone who has been sending me such lovely reviews.