GABRIELLA

Senior year, day fifty-eight.

I haven't spoken one word to Troy.

He's tried.

Early in the week, he's tried. But I'm ignoring him. Full on ignoring him.

I'm more mad at him than at fucking Chris for cheating.

Which is INSANE.

I think I just had more trust in Troy. I thought we were better friends. I know Chris is his best friend, but right from wrong, you know? I thought he was one of those guys. I mean, I've seen him go after Chris for doing shitty things. Why couldn't he just tell me about it?

"Gabriella," my mom knocks on my half open door, "are you ready? We have to... what are you doing? You're not coming with us?"

"I am, I'm just... sorry, I'll get ready."

My aunt's in town so we're taking her to brunch and it's supposed to be this fun thing.

But I'm not in the mood.

I've been laying in bed all morning, in my robe, looking at the ceiling doing absolutely nothing, but thinking. Thinking about this whole fucked up situation.

Thinking about how I wish things had just gone differently.

"Have you seriously been laying in bed like this all morning?" My mom asks me, "are you okay, are you sick?"

"No, sorry, I'm..."

"Okay," she says, closing the door behind her, "talk. Something's up."

"Mom, I'm fine, I'll get ready."

She shakes her head, coming towards me, "who do you think you're talking to? I am your mother, I gave birth to you, I watched you grow up. I know when something is the matter. You've been down all week and I'm honestly confused because when you broke up with Chris... that afternoon, you seemed fine. But I get sometimes it takes time. Are you not okay? Is that what this is about? Because you can talk to me, you know you can."

I know I can and I do talk to her about everything, mostly. But lately, I've been keeping things to myself. I thought it was better this way.

Maybe I should talk, though. It's driving me crazy.

So, I do.

I take a deep breath and start. "Have you ever liked someone you shouldn't?"

"Yeah, your father."

"What?" My jaw drops, "dad?"

She laughs, "yeah, he was a college guy who had these piercing green eyes and girls lining up just to talk to him. He was everything I should have stayed away from. He didn't know the meaning of having a girlfriend. We struggled with it for a while."

Wow. I did not know that. I thought it was all love at first sight type thing. That they were college sweethearts with no issues.

"But he wasn't the best friend of your ex boyfriend."

"I knew it."

"You knew what?"

She gave me a smile as she sat down next to me on my bed, "that you liked Troy. The way you've always looked at him, the way you talked about him. There was something there, but I never wanted to bring it up because well... Chris."

I close my eyes and throw my head back, "he doesn't like me. He doesn't do girlfriends. He doesn't want to. And it's just a waste of fucking time."

"You never know until you try."

"Chris was cheating on me," I laugh, "isn't that something?"

"What?"

I nod, "yeah, he was cheating on me, I guess. And Troy knew this whole time and he didn't say one word."

My mom was trying to catch up. I went from talking about my feelings for Troy to talking about Chris cheating on me. "Okay, so..."

"So, he knew and he didn't tell me, mom! I'm so mad at him! I'm so..."

"Gabriella," she cuts me off, putting her hand on my shoulder to calm me down a bit. "I get it. You're upset. Everyone feels that way when they find out they've been cheated on or they think they should feel that way. But if you were not in love with Chris, why does it matter? Why does it matter anymore? You're not with him. You don't want to be with him. And you shouldn't make Troy feel like shit for not telling you. Not because Chris is his best friend, he should have kept this secret, but it was not his relationship to get involved in. He either helps you out and fights with his friend or he keeps you in the dark and gets the cold shoulder from you. It's no win, either way. And it shouldn't be his problem. And now that you've admitted you like him, I know this is not about him keeping it from you. It's about finding a legitimate reason to be mad at him and keep your distance because you don't know if he likes you and even if he does, you have absolutely no idea how it would work out since he is best friends with your ex."

"How do you do that?"

She chuckles, "I'm your mom. I'm old and wise and know you like the back of my hand. You feel disrespected about the cheating, but you're not mad"

I shake my head, "no, I'm not mad, I'm just... I hate this, mom."

"I know you do. But you gotta be honest."

"Tell him?"

"If I never took the chance with your dad... well, you wouldn't be here right now."

I know, but it's different."

She reaches for my head and puts it behind my shoulder, "mija, it's all the same. You either sit here, miserable, wondering what if. Or you tell him how you're feeling and things work out. Or you tell him how you're feeling and he's not in the same space and that's going to suck, but at least you'll know. And then you can figure it out from there. It might hurt like hell, but eventually you will get over it because that's how life works."

My mom's right. I know she is. I'm terrified. I'm scared. I'm hiding behind this bullshit reason about him not telling me he knew Chris was cheating.

It's hurtful, yes, but I understand it and am not mad.

This sucks.

Troy Bolton doesn't do girlfriends. He doesn't date. He doesn't want to.

Who am I to change that?