Once again, thank you to all of you who are reading this, reviewing this, recommending this, THANK YOU!

Thanks to Nicffwhisperer for hooking me up with the amazing beta MariahajilE! Any mistakes left are completely my fault.

Thanks ANHanninen for the banner over on twitter, (which I'm still getting the hang of, come say hi 4ubleddry).

The silence between the two friends dragged on. Bella continued to drink her tea and tried to calm herself down. Angela hoped the silence meant that her friend was thinking things through. Bella was but not in the way that Angela was hoping.

"Mike asked you to talk to me?"

Angela nodded.

"Did he ask you to talk to me tonight specifically?"

Angela nodded again.

"Lovely!" Bella snapped. "So this has been carefully controlled. He left to lead a backcountry camping trip this afternoon. I can't contact him. It gives me a week to calm down. He knew this is how I would react!" Bella's hand came down on the table to emphasize her frustration.

"Won't you even consider it?" Angela asked gently. She hadn't meant to anger Bella; she just didn't understand why she wouldn't contemplate this.

"Do you think I haven't considered it? That this is just some whim?" Bella asked with disbelief. "I know Mike wants a family now. But he never used to. Just because he changed his mind doesn't mean that I will change mine." Bella shoved the folder with the store receipts in her bag. "Angela, I'm sure you mean well, but you've overstepped here. I should trust you and Mike more than anyone on this planet to have my back. Instead, you both went behind it to plot against me."

Bella grabbed her bag and shifted down the bench to get out of the booth. Angela reached over and touched her arm to stop her.

"Bella," Angela sighed. "All Mike wanted me to do was bring it up. You're right. I overstepped." She put both hands in the air to signal her surrender. "I just want this so much for the two of you that I got overenthusiastic. I think Mike just wanted me to test the waters. You know him; he would never push you for anything. That boy loves you so much he'll take what he can get from you." Her words stung Bella more than they should. "He doesn't want to upset you. I'm the one pushing you. Someone has to." Her wry smile meant to show Bella she was trying to lighten the mood. But her words had echoed Jacob's and goaded Bella further.

"Why do you and Jacob suddenly think you know more than I do about my own life?"

Angela blinked slowly. "What was Jacob advising you about?"

Bella silently chastised herself for bringing up Jacob. "Nothing. It doesn't matter." There was no way Bella could explain what they had been arguing over.

"Does this have anything to do with Edward?" Angela spoke hesitantly, the words coming as she considered the question herself.

"No!" Bella answered hastily. "Why would you even think that?"

"I can't imagine Jacob offering you advice about anything else. That you wouldn't share with me."

"Angela, right now I'm not sharing anything with you, because I'm livid! Please stay out of my marriage. And if we're going to remain friends, you aren't going to bring this up again." With that Bella got up out of the booth and left a suspicious Angela behind.

Bella jogged across the street and unlocked the door to Newton's. She turned the deadbolt behind her and left the lights off. She had only returned to the store to drop off the paperwork she had been going over, but once she was upstairs, she decided to stay and finish it. She was furious and didn't feel ready to enter their house alone to stew in her feelings. She sat down at Mike's desk and pulled the file from her purse. She placed it on the desk and leaned back to look out the window. She told herself that the fresh evening breeze would help to cool her emotions as she got up and pushed the window open.

She returned to the desk and her work, spending the next two hours slowly going through the task. A small part of her attention remained on the open window. By the time she was finished, she was shivering but made no move to pull the glass down. Bella sat for a while longer, watching the leaves rustle in the wind, letting the occasional star peek through. She told herself she was enjoying the quiet.

After a while, she dried the tears that had started to spill, put the file away in the drawer, and closed the window.

On Monday evening, Edward sat in Carlisle's car after his first shift at the library while he processed his feelings about the day. It had been Bella's day off, a fact that had initially disappointed him. It had been nearly a week since he'd seen her last. In retrospect, her absence was probably a good thing; it had allowed him to focus completely on what he was doing. And it was this that caused the slight smile on his face. He enjoyed it. When he came up with this plan, he was reluctant to follow it through. He wasn't sure how kids would react to him, if they would trust him or instinctively recoil. It turned out there was nothing to worry about. Both children he'd worked with had accepted him completely. Edward started the car and made his way toward home. He drove by Newton's Outfitters on the way, planning the rest of the evening when he saw Bella's truck out front.

Edward went to the window at the back of the shop first. It was closed. He didn't check to see if it was unlocked. He thought entering without her permission would be a breach of her trust. Instead, he made his way to the front of the store. The roads were quiet, and no one else was nearby. He entered unseen.

Bella looked up from where she sat behind the cash desk as she heard the door open. She smiled warmly at him and tucked the book she was reading under the counter. "Edward! How was your first day?"

He was struck by the sincerity of her greeting, and it magnified his enthusiasm. "Brilliant! I really enjoyed it. It felt so good to be doing something again." He tucked his left hand in the pocket of his jeans to stop himself from embracing her. He reached forward with his right. "I brought you this. I know you've been here all day. I thought maybe you could use a fresh cup of tea. Chamomile, like what you had at our house. But if you'd prefer something else..." he trailed off, unsure of how she would react to his gesture.

"That's lovely. Thank you." She took the cup with both hands and held it under her nose, closing her eyes and smiling as she inhaled the fragrant steam.

"I was hoping we could talk some more. If that's okay with you."

"Ah, so this is a bribe," she teased.

His free hand moved to the back of his neck as he looked away, unsure of how to respond.

"You fidget."

He raised his eyes. "What?"

"You fidget a lot. That's new."

"I'm nervous. That's new." It was another epiphany. He had been nervous with Bella before; nervous about letting her in, nervous of hurting her. But he held the power then. He could decide when to tell her what he was, how, and for how long he could touch her. When to leave.

She sighed and turned back towards the desk. "Everything down here is done. Just let me cash out. We'll go upstairs."

"You came back." She spoke as she sat down, eager to get to why he was here.

"I did. When I left last week, you said we could talk again-"

"I meant ten years ago."

"I didn't want to presume."

"Why did you leave again? Was it because I was with Jacob?"

Edward nodded and then looked away. "I want to say that I ran that time because I was happy for you. I left, because I wanted you to have a full life. But that's not why I ran then. I ran, because I was a wreck. I came back, because I knew I made a mistake. To see that you've moved on? I didn't know how to deal with it. I always chose the wrong way to cope."

"The thing with Jacob-"

"You don't have to justify that to me."

"I know." She smiled sadly. "But I want to. I want to tell you why I gave in and tried to be with him."

"Tried?"

"My love for you was so much - too much," she replied, ignoring his question. "I didn't know how to deal with that kind of rejection. He hated you so much, and I know how awful this sounds, but I fed off that hatred. Hate isn't the opposite of love; indifference is. But I could connect to his hatred for you. I hated what you did, and along with all that love for you, there was hate for destroying it."

"You should hate me."

"I don't. And I didn't. I just understood it. Jake was easy. After you left... I felt like there was nothing to love, nothing to desire, about me. He took the sting out and patched me up."

Edward knew that if she had told him this earlier, he would have snapped. He would have roared about his love for her, about her doubts, about listening to Jake's desire but never to his.

He knew now that would get him nowhere.

Of course she would have believed Jake. He remembered the few times he saw Jacob around Bella. He was like an overenthusiastic puppy. He was never afraid to let his feelings show. Edward couldn't do that. Or at least, he didn't do that.

Instead, Edward said nothing. He didn't think Bella was looking for an apology.

"How long were you there?" Bella spoke up after a while. She remembered the night well. "What exactly did you see? Did you watch everything?"

"Minutes. Not even. When I found the two of you, you were kissing in the back seat of his car. Nothing much. But then he started to remember more intimate times. I guessed what was coming next, so I ran. I couldn't have watched that and survived." He wanted to add then - he couldn't have watched that and survived then. It turned out he could watch Bella with another man. He didn't think this was the time to disclose that bombshell.

"I guess I'm relieved?" she responded unsurely. He looked at her, shattered at what she had just said. She hadn't wanted him to come back even then. "I don't know what to think about that. You watching me lose my virginity would have been-"

"Wait!" he interrupted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm that great prom cliché. I had sex for the first time that night."

"But Jacob remembered you naked."

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But we'd never had sex until that night. You're the mindreader. There's a whole lot to get up to between tame kisses and full-on sex. He may have been thinking about me naked, but that doesn't mean we'd had sex." She paused as she realized the implications of his question. "Did you run because you thought I'd had sex with him?"

"Yes," he breathed the word. The truth was crushing him.

"Edward," Bella spoke cautiously. She too felt the weight of what they were saying. "Before he thought about that, what were you going to do?"

"Make myself known." He looked her in the eye. "Beg your forgiveness."

"Oh, my God!" Her hand flew to her lips, as if to contain what she had already spilled.

"How would you have reacted?" The truth, thick with remorse, slowed his question.

He wanted to know.

He knew.

He wanted her to say it.

He didn't want to hear it.

He knew.

"Honestly?"

He nodded.

"I would have been so angry. I would have been pissed."

He nodded.

He knew.

There was more.

He knew.

"I would have taken you back."