Sorry this took a bit longer than usual. I junked my first go at this.

Thanks to Sri for pre-reading both versions, and to Iris for her amazing beta skills.

It echoed through the room; the regret, the despair, the what-might-have-been. Bella felt it nudging around her, looking to find a way in.

She needed to shut it down.

"What are you hoping for now?" This wasn't then. Bella was beginning to understand Edward had loved her then. What he had told her in the forest was the lie, not everything they had before. She had conveniently forgotten that meant his feelings wouldn't have changed over time.

"Now..." he paused, as he considered his options. He could lay it all on the table and likely push her away for good, or he could try a more conservative honesty. He chose what he hoped would keep her in his life. "I'd like to be friends."

"Friends?" She spoke the word as though it was a foreign phrase.

"Friends," he restated with a confidence that did not match how he felt.

Bella leaned back as she nodded slowly. "Why not?" she laughed gently. "Friends."

Edward arrived home to an almost empty house. He contemplated leaving again; it was in his nature to wallow in what Bella had revealed. But he was learning these tendencies, his sole reliance on intuition, was what seemed to get him in trouble with Bella. If he was going to change, he needed to learn to ask for help.

He approached his brother and grabbed a controller before he sat down. "Switch to two-player."

"You serious?" Edward hadn't played video games with Emmett since the last time they were in Forks.

"Yeah."

Emmett could see his brother was trying, but there was something off about him tonight. "You with Bella?"

Edward merely nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" Emmett asked, but he didn't push further as they spent the next few minutes setting up their game.

"I've met her, twice now, at the shop." He paused to select a new weapon before his avatar regenerated. "After hours. Just us."

Emmett lost a life, because he stopped to look at his brother. "And?" He didn't look away.

"We've just been talking. About the past." Edward continued to mash buttons as he thought about what to say next. "Come on, dude. Drop back in. I haven't played in a while, and I have no idea what I'm doing here." Edward kicked at Emmett's foot to emphasise his point.

"Yeah, you fucking suck, dude." Emmett laughed as Edward died yet again. "So how's the talking going?"

"Jesus Christ, what weapon do I pick?" Emmett grabbed the controller and set Edward up. "It's devastating at times, hopeful at others. She would have taken me back, that night with Jake, if I had just stepped forward..." Edward let the what-if drift through the room unsaid.

"Did you doubt it?"

"Then? No, not until I saw her anyway."

"What about now?" Emmett stopped playing to watch his brother once again.

"We're going to be friends." Edward evaded what he thought Emmett was really asking, but answered the spirit of the question.

"Think you can handle that?"

"I can't pursue her; I need to accept the consequences of what I've done. But I can be there for her. We'll have a different relationship. Oh, for fuck's sake!" he mumbled, growing increasingly agitated at the game. "I'll wait for her," he confessed.

"Can you do it, though? You're a jealous mother-fucker. How are you going to handle this when your instinct screams at you to possess her?"

"Because my instinct is to love her. I'm learning that doesn't mean to own her."

Emmett said nothing, but Edward didn't miss the almost proud smirk his brother wore. They continued to annihilate zombies together. Their cursing got more creative as the evening wore on, but nothing more was said about Bella.

It was the morning of Mike's scheduled arrival. Usually he dropped off any rented equipment at the shop, went home to clean himself up, and then stopped by the library to see Bella. It they were really lucky, they'd steal a moment together in her office before their real reunion at home.

This morning, for the first time, she wasn't in the mood.

This was the first time in all their years together she was actually angry with Mike. Sure, they'd had small, silly spats, but they would end as quickly as they began. She didn't know how to handle the feelings of rage that hadn't dissipated through the week. She left a note on their bed telling him she wouldn't be available today; she'd see him at home later.

Mike got the note, but he didn't get the message. He decided to call instead. "Hey, babe. You get off soon? Let me pick you up, and we'll grab some takeout."

"Mike." Bella sighed.

"What's up?" He was starting to piece it together.

"I'm not going to talk about it here." She had her own office, but it lost some of its privacy with Edward in the building. "I'll come home when I can. I'll bring dinner. I have to go."

"All right, babe. I love you."

She paused before replying. "You, too." Her voice cracked as she hung up the phone. Bella tried to cry as silently as she could. She felt like an idiot. She was rarely reduced to tears these days, but it had all been so much lately. After a minute, Bella got a Kleenex and a mirror from her purse, and started to clean herself up. As she closed the compact, there was a quick knock at her door. She cleared her throat and called out, "Come in." She bent over to return her compact to her purse and wasn't surprised to see Edward hovering by the door when she looked back up.

"Bella, are you okay?" He had heard her crying. She knew that. He could probably smell the tear residue left on her cheeks.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just stuff getting to me. That's all." Bella forced herself to smile and waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss her problems.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Thanks, Edward, but I'm not sure that it's something I should talk about with you."

"Mike." It wasn't a question.

"It's not Mike; it's me. It's my problem."

"Well, then you can talk to me about it." He closed the door behind him as he stepped into her office.

"It's a problem I'm creating, with Mike, so we probably shouldn't talk about it."

"Do you have anyone you can talk to about it?"

Bella took a deep breath. "No."

"Come on." He tried to coax her with a smile. "Friends, remember?"

She rolled her eyes but pointed to the seat across from her, which he gratefully took. "As you know, I can't have kids." She put her hand up to stop his obvious question. "It's unimportant why, so don't ask. But honestly, that's fine with me. I really don't want them."

"And Mike does," he guessed.

"He didn't. But yes, now he does." She picked a pen up off her desk and started to tap it in the air. "Which wouldn't really be a big deal, because I can't. At least in the traditional sense. But there's always adoption..."

"And Mike wants you to consider adopting a baby with him at some point?" Edward was starting to feel like he was in over his head.

"There's a local girl who would like us to adopt her baby. This summer."

Edward was definitely in over his head. He didn't mind pushing his moral boundaries enough to hope to entice her away from her husband, despite what he told Emmett. But he couldn't do that if they had a child together. He reminded himself he had promised to be her friend, and that's what she needed here.

"So, I'm guessing you are dealing with two camps: those who agree with Mike and are encouraging you to adopt this baby, and those who support you and your lack of desire for a family."

"There seems to be only Mike's camp. I'm over here on my own." She gave a small wave to highlight her isolation.

"Oh. I realize now why you didn't want to talk with me about this."

"And what did you come to realize?"

"You can't trust me to be honest with you. If I support you, you'll automatically suspect it's to drive a wedge in your marriage." Bella's look told him he was right. "But the truth is that I can't give you an answer. I can listen to you. I can remind you that you are a selfless person who finds joy in the happiness of others, but sometimes, you give away too much of yourself. I know that sometimes when you love someone you have to give up what you want. But I'm not going to tell you if it's you or Mike who should make this sacrifice. Have you and Mike actually talked to each other about this?"

"Not really."

"Well, that's where you need to start. I'll be here for you, but you need to talk to your husband about how you feel."

Bella just blinked at Edward.

"What?" he half laughed, even though his heart was breaking. He hadn't realized until this moment that part of seeing Bella happy would also see her make sacrifices that he couldn't protect her from.

"When did you get so good at relationships?"

"When I figured out all the things I had done wrong when it mattered."