Illusions
"So... my world is a game to you," Mauronk said slowly, brow furrowed.
"No," I said carefully, "that's not... exactly what I said. Where I come from, there's an illusion of your world, and that's the game. This is horribly real. As are you."
"Thank you, I think," he growled.
"I don't mean you're horrible... never mind," I sighed. Rubbing my forehead, I contemplated just telling him it was a joke, ha ha, really had you going, didn't I?
"It is difficult to imagine," he said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, well, there's a technology gap you wouldn't believe," I grumbled. "It doesn't begin and end with the plumbing, that's for sure. I just can't draw a parallel with this world. There's nothing to connect the ideas. Illusion's the best I've got."
"How do you... play this game?"
Faltering a little, I tried to think of a way to convey the whole idea of game avatars. "Um... it's sort of like... when you're dreaming. You see yourself in these fantastic places, but your physical body isn't really there. A representation of you is there. That's sort of... loosely what I mean. Only with the game, you can make your representative look any way you want."
He mulled this concept over in his mind. I had to admit, he was handling it better than I thought he would. At least he wasn't freaking out. "Any way you want?"
"Yes."
"Even... an Orc?"
"Even an Orc," I said, grinning.
"So... you have seen Orcs."
"In the game, I have," I clarified. "Seeing one of you in reality is... different."
"Are we better or worse, in reality?"
Had I not experienced his exact opposite charging at me with an axe, I might have responded in a flirty manner, but at the moment, I was rather torn between the two of them. "Well... um... some of you are scary bastards."
He winced, and I felt like shit for saying it. "Not you, Mauronk," I insisted hastily. "You're a sweetheart. I mean that nasty guy who almost took my head off. He sucked."
Grunting a laugh, he shook his head. "My father would be ashamed of me, if he heard anyone call me a 'sweetheart.'"
"It'll be our little secret, then," I said, winking.
Standing up, he drew his sword once more. "All right. What is so important that we must keep going?"
"There's a wall," I replied, stringing my bow in preparation. "It's a very special wall. We have to fight our way down there and... look at it."
"Look at it."
"Yeah. And fight a nasty draugr."
"Very nasty?"
"Extremely nasty."
"What stands between us here, and this... wall?" he asked, edging cautiously toward the hallway leading further into the tomb.
"Oh, you know," I said quietly, my voice beginning to shake with nerves. "Dead guys. Some of them still wandering around. Tomb stuff. That sort of thing."
Mauronk chuckled. "No more riddles?"
"Um... if I'm not mistaken, there should be a blade trap or two at some point. It might be fun to lure some draugr into them. Cut them into more manageable pieces."
"I have seen these things," he nodded. The hallway curved into the first room, where the bandit must have turned around with the draugr hot on his tail. "They are deadly. We will have to be quick." Glancing back at me, he added, "As you likely know."
"Yeah. Mess you up, those things," I muttered.
The tomb opened up before us, the niches in the walls filled with wrapped corpses or bare skeletons. A central pillar supported the roof. It was strange to see lit torches here, though it was like this in the game. I honestly thought that the real version of the tomb would be a lot darker. Maybe dead guys needed light too?
Luckily, the bandit didn't attract them all when he blundered into the room. There was still one waiting for us, this one an archer. It caught us by surprise, barely missing my head with its first shot. I came closer than ever before to wetting my pants when I heard and felt the arrow whistle past my ear. Mauronk dodged and darted around the pillar, allowing me a clear shot. And leaving me wide open to attack. Thanks a lot; I'll remember this, you bastard. Nocking an arrow with shaking hands, I fired off my first shot and dove after him. I didn't see whether my arrow hit, but I was busy getting under cover, so I thought I had a good excuse.
Mauronk barreled into the draugr, ramming it with his shoulder, then started hacking away. I unloaded a few more arrows, two of which actually went into it. I was pretty thrilled, a little cocky, and totally not watching my back. Something hit me hard across my should blades, sending me flying into Mauronk. It hurt so badly, I couldn't breathe for a minute. I couldn't expand my lungs, couldn't even remember how for a second. I dimly noticed him drop the first draugr and attack what must have been a second, but I was fast losing consciousness.
Gods, don't let me die here.
The next thing I was aware of, I was lying naked on the stone floor with Mauronk on top of me, kissing me and furiously pounding away. My hands were gripping his bare backside, digging nails into his hide, and desperately begging him to fuck me harder. I wanted this so badly, it was such a relief to finally have him, I couldn't get enough, my legs were locked around his thighs, hips rocking to his rhythm, sweat pouring, getting so close, god dammit, don't stop, don't you dare stop, oh my god, yes yes yes, oh my god...
A stinging slap across my face shook everything loose, and it was all gone, except the lingering aftershocks of one hell of an awesome orgasm.
My armor was still on, though I was indeed lying on the floor. Mauronk was still dressed, uncharacteristically, and looking at me with shock and... something else. And my hands... son of a bitch. Buried between my legs. How adorable. I yanked them free. At least my underthings were still in place.
"Whuh," I gasped out, not really verbally coherent yet. My breaths were heaving, trying to fill lungs that had been deflated by a mighty blow, then flushed out by apparently imaginary sex. "What... was that?"
He was shaking all over, but I couldn't tell if he was afraid or really turned on. Whatever was going through his mind, he just shook his head helplessly. "I just... healed you," he replied.
"Oh shit, what did I do?" I whispered. Did I do more than just...? Good gods, like that wasn't enough. I could feel the blush scorching my face as I struggled to sit up.
"I cannot... explain," he stammered. Now he couldn't look me in the eye. "I did not even touch you."
Could've fooled me. I could still feel... oh lordy. It was like... well, really having sex. And pretty rough sex, at that. There was the sensation of having been penetrated still lingering, for starters. If that was just the spell going haywire, it was getting stronger and more... invasive.
I didn't think I could possibly have been more humiliated if I had thrown myself on him and he told me he wasn't that kind of Orc. Even though I knew nothing happened, it felt like something did. Something really, really satisfying and wonderful and god damned good. Good enough to want a repeat, let me tell you.
"I... I... did nothing but heal you," he stammered. "You rolled over on your back and... you... uh... started..."
"Did I say anything?" I asked in a tiny little voice. Gods, I hoped it was just a bunch of moaning and no... names or anything...
Unfortunately, he nodded, and the fact that he couldn't look at me when he did sort of gave me a pretty big-ass hint that names were named, and no innocents could be protected from here on out.
"I don't think I want to know any more," I groaned, covering my face with my hands.
"Perhaps... potions...," he said unsteadily.
"Yes," I quickly agreed. "Yes, potions would probably be... a really good idea."
Mauronk awkwardly rose and offered his hand. I let him help me stand, but I couldn't look at him. I was so embarrassed I couldn't even joke about it. I swear, though, if he hadn't had his hand down my shorts a matter of hours before, I would have thought he wasn't interested now. But he had a point: If his healing spells were going to send me into a sexual frenzy every time, it probably wasn't a good idea to do it here.
"Your aim is improving," he ventured. Bless his heart for bravely trying to refocus on the matter at hand.
"Thanks," I said, nodding stiffly. "Let's... uh... keep going, shall we? Mind the pressure plate there."
For a couple more sections of the tomb, I was kind of in a fog. The amazing thing was, my shooting became almost automatic, and without me screwing it up with actual thought, pretty damned accurate. I missed a lot less than usual, anyway. But when we cleared the room leading to the hallway with a blade trap, I woke up.
Through the swinging blades, I could see the 'sleeping' form of a draugr standing in its alcove directly across from us.
"Watch this," I grinned, and aimed. The arrow, miraculously, passed through the hallway without ricocheting off any of the blades, and thunked right into the draugr's... alcove. Figures I couldn't hit it when I was actually concentrating on it. It didn't matter, though; that was enough to wake its ass up.
"Danni," Mauronk warned, assuming a fighting stance. I patted his shoulder confidently.
Damn, I loved doing this. The draugr roared, pulled its axe, and charged into the hallway toward us. The first blade missed it by a hair, but the second nailed it pretty hard. It staggered and shook itself, took another hit on the backswing, cleared the second blade, and got cleaved by the third.
"See?" I said, spreading my hands. "Easy peasy. Draugrs are dumb."
Straightening and smiling a little, the Orc shook his head. "You wait here. I have done this before."
I sobered immediately. Glancing at the draugr lying in two or three pieces in the hall, I nearly panicked. "Be careful," I squeaked. He just shrugged, sheathed his weapon, and stood ready.
At least he was taking it seriously. He watched the blades, noting the timing of the swings, then darted forward. Exactly the same way I always did it in the game, he leaped from one 'neutral' zone between blades to the next. All three of them missed him. I almost fainted with relief when he made it to the other side and pulled the chain that disabled them. I quickly passed through and joined him.
We could hear the distant sounds of a waterfall as we crept along, then the ornately carved passageway opened into a large cavern with a stream running through it. Against the far wall were a pair of sarcophagi, one of which burst open and ejected a crabby-looking draugr. They were like jack-in-the-boxes around here. I didn't think, didn't even really try very hard, and stuck it with two out of four shots before Mauronk got to it for the killing blow.
Killing dead guys was, evidently, much easier on the conscience than killing live ones.
Another chest was here, but it was more of a small burial coffer than a gigantic treasure chest like you'd see in the game. Blink and you'd miss it, kind of small. I popped it open and took out about two dozen gold septims, what looked like an amethyst of unknown quality, and a silver ring that had an almost opalescent sheen to it. I showed it to Mauronk.
"Hmph," he snorted, turning it over in his hands. "Enchanted." He slipped it on one of his fingers and looked like he was listening. I'd wondered how people in this reality could tell what was enchanted and with what spell. Apparently it involved actually putting on the item and feeling it.
"Restoration spells," he said uncomfortably, taking off the ring. "Makes them more... powerful."
Without a word, I snatched the ring from his hand and flung it across the room to plunk into the water under the falls. "I'd say your spells are powerful enough, thank you very god damn much."
He chuckled a little uncomfortably, unable to look at me since I just had to bring that up again. Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I turned toward the rock wall where the stream led to a tunnel barred with a metal grate. Beside the grate was a pull chain, which I yanked on. The grate rose.
"Come on," I grumbled, stomping through the streambed. The tunnel curved, then a side passage appeared. I led the way in, muttering curses under my breath because it wasn't this tight a squeeze in the game. At one point, the rocks were so close together that Mauronk's chest plate barely made it through. The shrieking, scratching noise was bad enough to make me shudder with horrible, fingernails-scraping-a-blackboard chills.
The side passage led to a wider cavern and the stream continued on until it tumbled out into a deep sinkhole. Sunlight poured in from the wide open roof, making it really easy to see the draugr shuffling about below us. I took a shot at it, missed by a wide margin (thinking about what I was doing again), and had to fight the damn thing when it took another tunnel up to meet us.
We came to this large room with a ledge running around the back wall, stairs leading up to the ledge, and an elevated bridge stretching across the room from the ledge to another hall. As soon as we stepped into the room, it was like a motion sensor picked up our arrival and sprung the first draugr from his coffin to our left. Mauronk hesitated in his attack to allow me a few shots, then he charged in to finish it off. I turned toward the bridge and ledge, and saw two more racing down the stairs toward us.
I tried really hard not to think about it, just to let myself sort of become the bow, or whatever zen-like attitude was required, and swung up to shoot an oil lamp dangling from the ceiling. My arrow had just split the rope, dropping the lamp, and I jumped up with triumph at such an unbelievably great shot, when I realized Mauronk had charged up to engage the draugr.
The oil slick on the floor went up in flames, and I stared in horror as the edge caught the Orc's armor on fire. His momentum carried him a step or two in, then he leaped back, howling in agony. I raced up and dragged him back, then knocked him down. Stop, drop and roll. Stop, drop and roll, I kept repeating to myself, practically beating the flames out with my bare hands.
"I'm sorry," I sobbed when the fire was out and I could see the damage. "Oh god, Mauronk, I'm so sorry."
"Potion," he croaked. I nodded and fetched one from his pack. Once the potion started working, the burns healed, though he would have a few scars. But the worst...
He reached up and touched his chin.
"I'm really sorry," I whispered.
"Fuck," he growled, rubbing the charred, crumbling remains of his beard off.
"You still have your mustache," I offered.
"I look a fool with just a mustache."
I tilted my head to appraise him. "You look good, actually. Not bad at all."
"I prefer the beard."
"I like it too, but... It'll grow back."
He grunted like he didn't believe me. Bowing my head, I said, "I should have told you what I was planning. I'm really sorry."
"Yes, you should have," he growled. "Next time, hmm?"
"Yeah, next time I'll tell you."
From here, we crossed the bridge into yet another tunnel. I was starting to get really tired of the Barrow. The carved, arched hall eventually led us to the final door. Or penultimate door, since it wasn't the puzzle door the golden claw was for.
The final door was across a long room with several richly carved reliefs on the walls. I didn't investigate them; we were almost there. The moment of truth.
"Now what?" Mauronk asked, looking skeptically at the puzzle door. I fished the claw out of my pack and checked the three images carved into the gold. I matched the images with the correct animal on each of the three rotating rings in the center of the door, then fit the claw into the center keystone. Taking a deep breath, I turned it.
The great, heavy stone door rumbled, the rings spun to a single image, then the door began to sink into the floor. So much dust was kicked up, my allergies went nuts once more and I had to soil my slut dress again.
Ascending one last set of ancient stairs, we came into the huge chamber where the dragon wall stood. I was terrified. The weight of an entire world would come slamming down on my shoulders the moment I stood in front of that thing. Unless...
I glanced at Mauronk. He met my gaze uncertainly. It suddenly occurred to me that I could be mistaken. He might be the Dragonborn, not me. Wow, that would be a relief. I wouldn't mind tagging along, if he needed any help. Just so long as the heavy lifting could be shoved onto his shoulders.
Yes, that would make sense. The Eight or Nine Divines, however many there were, wouldn't be super retarded enough to dump something as important as a dragon's soul on a lame-ass idiot from another world. That would be ludicrous. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Yeah. It wasn't going to be me, because nobody's that fucking stupid.
"Okay," I said in a low voice. "We go up to that wall and... sort of wait for something to happen. Once it does, we'll do a touchdown dance, then the nasty draugr busts out of his coffin and tries to ruin our day. You ready?"
Shrugging, Mauronk just grunted and nodded. We crossed the cavern, the bridge over the stream running through the center, then ascended the stairs up to the wall standing at one end of a large dais.
Almost as soon as we set foot on the dais, the draugr overlord's coffin burst open. We didn't even get a moment to glance at that dragon wall thingy before we were up to our armpits in dead guy Shouting. I helped Mauronk the best I could, shooting furiously. He used his body as much as his blade to take down the undead menace, staying too close for the thing's attacks to put space between them. I circled around behind and unloaded several arrows into the overlord's backside because I was aiming for its head. Figures.
Thing was, I was standing right in the curve of the dragon wall, and nothing was happening there. No blue-glowing runes, no snakey tendrils of blue energy, nothing.
I was so distracted by the anti-climactic nada that I barely noticed when the draugr collapsed in a heap. Standing in front of the wall, I just stared at it as if by looking stern and expectant, it would shake itself from whatever daydream it was indulging and get busy with the thu'um installation.
"Did it happen? What you expected?" Mauronk asked when the dust settled.
"Um... I, uh... guess... not," I said uncertainly. Shaking myself, I turned away and faced him. "There's a dragonstone inside whatshisname over there. Can you... uh... dig around a bit and come up with it? Then we're leaving. I think we're done here."
His eyebrows rose, but he didn't ask any more questions. Dragonstone in hand, we left Bleak Falls Barrow and I didn't say anything all the way back to Riverwood.