Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I'm sorry I haven't updated, but you know how holidays interfere with all of that! To make up for my little hiatus, here's a long chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Please comment and let me know what you think.
Regina pushed herself through the door to Granny's, grimacing at the awkwardness of the action. Ruby looked up from the table she was wiping down. Her eyes sprung wide, and she rushed over, clearly intending to help push the crippled mayor to her destination. A hard look stopped the young woman in her tracks.
She wheeled herself to one of the small, unoccupied tables closest to her. Ruby rushed forward to pull one of the chairs away, determined to help at least a bit. The air was thick with tension, neither of them sure how to act around the other.
"So... How's your recovery, Mayor Mills?"
Miss Lucas, I came here for food, if you could call it that, not for idle chat about my health."
"Right. Do you need a menu, or do you know what you'd like?"
"I'd like a Caesar salad, no onions, light on the dressing. Thank you."
"Coming right up, Mayor." The tall brunette turned to place the order she took, but stopped and faced Regina again. "I know that I'm not the best person to trust with secrets all of the time, but I want you to know that I didn't tell anyone about my finding you with Henry."
"I... Thank you, Miss Lucas." Whatever venom was hiding behind the mayor's lips, it died, struck by the sincerity of the girl's words.
"People ask me. They do. They know I was involved, but I don't say anything." Her eyes popped wide, as if horrified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I was... I'll go place your order!" And before the older woman could even respond, Ruby whisked herself away.
The rest of Regina's time spent at the little diner was quiet, and somewhat awkward. The waitress was clearly embarrassed by her words, and refused to meet the other brunette's eyes, not that Regina was trying to do so either. Though irritated by the childish reactions of the wolf-girl, Regina did allow her to hold open the door when she started to wheel herself to the exit. She accepted the wordless apology.
Just before she made to wheel herself over the threshold, Regina looked up at the other woman. She found herself feeling slightly more powerless without her height, always exaggerated by stilettos, to aid her when dealing with her subjects.
"Because you asked, I get the stitches in my right foot out tomorrow. I'll be on crutches for several days, then the other foot. After that, I'll be on a cane until I'm fully recovered." She grimaced as the idea of hobbling around on a cane made her think of the imp.
"I bet you'll be happy to be rid of that chair, huh?"
"Your astuteness surpasses you," Regina replied dryly. Ruby shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to reply. "Good day, Miss Lucas."
"Madame Mayor," she said formally.
The former queen pushed herself out into the brisk autumn air, pausing to pull some leather gloves from the pockets of her pea coat. She didn't know why she had wheeled herself all the way from her mansion to the diner. Maybe it was to feel like she was still free, still mobile, and not beached like a whale. The prospect of transporting herself all the way back was significantly less appealing.
Apparently her irritation showed, because David Nolan, who was striding by, saw the look on her face and strode over, smiling pleasantly. "Madame Mayor! Can I help you?"
She threw him a withering look. "No one asks if I need any help with any other aspect in my life, but as soon as I can't walk, everyone wants to aid me."
"Er... Is that a yes?"
"If you feel so inclined, you may do so."
"As you wish, Mayor. So, where to?"
"My house, if you think you can manage."
"No problem."
Regina was always idly impressed with the way her insults, and generally unpleasant manor slid right off of him. He was easier to bait as Charming, but David seemed to have a calmer, more impenetrable disposition. It probably helped that he was blithely unaware of their history. Even so, he was always kind. It really irritated Regina.
They moved in relative silence. The mayor was still too bitter about being confined to a wheelchair to want to tolerate the pointless banter that would certainly come dribbling out of his mouth. He tried, though, because he was a Charming, and that's what they do.
Regina replied in clipped tones, never elaborating, and he got the message surprisingly fast. She hated when they passed others on the sidewalk. It was one thing for them to see her pushing herself along in a wheelchair, but it was something else entirely for them to see their Mayor being pushed around by another. Shame tore through her, but she was Regina Mills. She held her head high, setting her jaw and squaring her shoulders. So even in a wheelchair with hideous wrappings around her feet, she managed to look regal and downright threatening.
David pushed her up the walk to the Mayoral Mansion, and she felt him pause for the smallest of moments, as he was mildly surprised to see a makeshift ramp in place over the stairs leading up to the porch. He admitted that he wasn't sure what he was going to do once they arrived at 108 Mifflin. He was too scared to ask if he would need to carry her in, or something unbelievably awkward like that.
He sighed inwardly when he took in the sight of the basic wooden ramp. He pushed her up it a little awkwardly, but they made it to the top nonetheless. The brunette pulled a key ring out of her pocket, selecting a brass one and holding it out to the nervous looking man standing over her. She cringed at the fact that he could do that.
He took it without question, turning the lock and opening the door, then handed the bundle of keys back, not sure if he should say anything. "So, do you need help with anything else...?"
Regina locked her eyes onto his, seeing that the offer was genuine and not just an empty offer of assistance. She considered it briefly. "Actually, I do find it difficult to shop for groceries. I'll be on crutches tomorrow, but maybe you wouldn't mind holding my basket for me?"
"It would be my pleasure, Madame Mayor," he replied warmly. "Give me a call when you need, and I'll come pick you up."
"Thank you, Mr Nolan."
"Please, David."
"Thank you, David. I will see you tomorrow."
Regina was lying stiff as a board on an examination table. She felt humiliated being in a scratchy, thin, drab hospital gown. There was a little partition erected over her knees so that she wouldn't have to see Whale working on her foot. The uncomfortable tugging on the little stitches as he pulled them away from her flesh made her skin crawl. Regina was resilient and far from squeamish, but she couldn't quite place why this action made her so distressed.
The brunette was grateful that Whale didn't feel any inclination to chat during the procedure. He merely gave her little updates as to the progress of the stitch removal. He let her know that her wounds were healing beautifully, though they were certain to leave scars and minor nerve damage.
Scars were nothing to Regina. While others might view them as ugly, she found herself proud of the little marks that had peppered her body during her many years. It showed that yes, she could be hurt, but she was always able to survive. She was a fighter, and wearing those scars proved as such.
The mayor inhaled sharply through her teeth; something icy was running down her foot, and she was caught by surprise. Whale apologized suddenly, saying that he was sorry for not warning her. He was running an alcohol-soaked gauze pad along the recently-closed wounds.
"Okay, Regina, I've removed all of the stitches from your foot. You'll still want to continue with your cleansing routine. Keep applying more Neosporin to the area, and make sure that the foot gets to breathe.
"It's looking good, but if any of those scabs split open, I want you to soak the foot in water as hot as you can stand it for a minimum of twenty minutes. That will help to draw out any potential infection, but if you feel the split is too bad, come back here and I'll patch it up for you.
"I was also looking at your left foot, and we should still be able to take out the stitches on Tuesday, as we had originally planned. The main gouge in the arch of that foot was significantly worse than all of the others, so it will take a little longer to heal.
"Once you're off of your crutches, I want you stay out of any high heels for a week or two. Your feet will be tender, and heels will only hinder your recovery. Once you're up to it, though, feel free to sport any footwear you desire.
"Now that that's out of the way, I'm going to get you your crutches, and you can be on your way Mayor Mills. Feel free to put on your clothes while I'm out." He nodded politely and left the little room she was in.
Regina swung her legs over the edge of the little table she was on, hearing the paper underneath her crinkle from the action. She hastily slipped out of the gown, retreating back to the comfort and elegance of her satin shirt that she picked out that day. She looked down at the silvery gray material after buttoning it up. It was the shirt that Emma had borrowed shortly after deciding to stay in Storybrooke. Regina decided that it looked better on her own form, rather than on the sheriff.
Although, popping each individual button open at an agonizingly slow pace, revealing milky skin usually housed under cotton tank tops inch by inch would be surprisingly satisfying. She could imagine the look of frustration and urgency in those disarming emerald eyes of the blonde woman. She could imagine-
Nothing. There was nothing to imagine. Regina felt heat creeping up her cheeks, embarrassed to have given in to such a wanton fantasy. She shifted uncomfortably before slipping her slacks back on. Indulging in such daydreams was so very undignified and childish. She chastised herself for being so weak. Regina was many, many things, but weak was nowhere on that list, and, as she knew so well, love is weakness. Love? Who said anything about love?
Regina was about to stumble down a path that would only hold more questions and confusion than answers and clarity. A soft knock sounded on the door, and a nurse walked in, smiling sympathetically, two aluminum crutches clutched in her hands. She had to stop herself from scoffing with disgust. The mayor was not to be pitied.
The look she shot woman was more than enough to tell her to say only what was necessary and then leave with all the haste she could manage. To Regina's relief, the nurse followed the unspoken order, helping to adjust the crutches to the brunette's height. Once she was satisfied that they were fit to the patient, the nurse said a polite goodbye and left.
Regina gingerly tested herself on the silly looking contraptions lodged underneath her armpits. It wasn't as bad as she thought, and her foot only twinged mildly when she put her weight on it. Even though it was far from comfortable, the proud woman was out of that horrific wheelchair. She could stand again. Regina would always stand in the end.
She was considering calling David to pick her up for their shopping appointment, but she was in the hospital, and Regina felt herself being pulled down a familiar route to a room holding an even more familiar woman.
She shimmied through the door, huffing in frustration every time it smacked her when she wasn't agile enough to slip past the threshold. She hobbled over to the chair, collapsing into it, already feeling an ache forming in her underarms.
"I'm back," she whispered softly. "I must say, it's a surprising relief to be around someone who isn't pestering me with foolish questions about my injuries. The worst part about it, is that, even if I wanted to give them answers, which I most certainly do not, I can't. I don't really know what happened to me that night.
"I remember being here...being close to you. I remember the heat, and then Daniel's face." A lump rose in her throat. Even after so many decades, talking about her beloved stable boy still made the brunette choke on her words.
"And then... And then... Pain. I felt like my heart was about to explode, and I felt like I had to escape, Emma. But there was nowhere to run. I ran anyway. And then I was alone...and lost. After that, I let the black take over. It felt so good, to finally give up after all of these long years.
"Of course, Fate is stubborn, even in this world. Henry was above me, cradling me in his arms as I used to do for him. He brought warmth through me. He always does. And yet, as much as I wanted to let him bring his light through me, I couldn't.
"Emma, I couldn't fight the doubts in me. You have never known how it feels to have your child look at you like you're a dangerous stranger. Ever since that silly book came into his life, he's never looked at me as his mother. He's seen the Evil Queen. How can I help that not only does he see the truth, but that he can only see in black and white?
"And then I...tried to kill you. That drove him away more than the power of any book or fantasy ever could. He couldn't look at me without hatred in his eyes. That was something I tried to keep from his heart. No child should know that level of hatred at his age. All he wanted to do was save you.
"But, even that changed. He discovered that maybe I was the one who could wake you, which is preposterous, and he came back to me. I was so unbelievably happy, that I was willing to overlook the rest, but I couldn't fight those nagging feelings that clung to the edges of my mind.
"If it had been someone else for you, Emma, he would walk from me and never look back. If it were anyone but me, Henry would be gone from me forever. That's what terrifies me. He's undeniably happy at the prospect of having a family, or at least two parents, something that has been denied him his entire life, but I can't fight the feeling that he would find his family with anyone as long as you were in it. Not me."
Regina sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted from her monologue. She leaned over, resting her head on the sheriff's forearm. The cool of her skin was remarkably soothing to the brunette, and she let herself stop for many long minutes, reveling in the blissful emptiness that the blonde brought to her mind.
"Again, thank you, David. You have been of great assistance to me." She let a small smile cover her face as her companion set several bags of groceries onto one of the kitchen counters.
"I'm always happy to help, Mayor." He smiled with warmth, as always. "Would you like any help putting these away?"
"Thank you, but I think I can manage." David looked at her doubtfully. "I can see that you won't accept that, though. Go ahead."
He started emptying one of the bags, and Regina let him know where each of the items belonged. Though she would never admit it, the brunette found herself grateful that she didn't have to stump her way awkwardly around the kitchen, trying to navigate crutches while holding onto things in her hands.
They worked comfortably around each other, and once the last item - a box of linguini - was stowed into a cupboard, David clapped his hands together to signify the completion of their task. He leaned casually against one of the counters.
"Anything else you need me to do? Fix a leaky roof, do some plumbing?" he joked. Regina let out a small chuckle.
"I think that will do for today. I seem to be in your debt."
"Not a bit. I didn't do this for favors; I just wanted to help."
"Again, thank you."
"How're those crutches treating you?"
"They-" She was about to say that they didn't bother her one bit. She was strong, and Regina did not want show any weaknesses. Yet, it struck her that she did not need to put on any kind of show for David. Right here, right now, he was just David Nolan. He wasn't Prince Charming, doing everything in his power to defend his precious Snow White. He was just a man showing her a little good-natured concern.
"They are rather uncomfortable."
"They really are. I was on crutches a few times in my day. Can I show you a trick? It won't make them pain-free or any easier to use, but it helped me."
"By all means."
"Got any dish towels you wouldn't mind surrendering?" Regina motioned to a cabinet beside the dishwasher. He fished out two white towels. "Tape?"
"Tape? What kind, dear?"
"Packing tape, or duct tape. Whatever you prefer." The mayor told him where to find some packing tape in her study. He wasn't gone long before he came bounding back into the kitchen, looking like a big puppy. He took the crutches after Regina sat herself on a chair. David put each of the towels on the cradles at the tops of each crutch. Afterward, he taped them in place, rather crudely the woman observed.
He flashed her a smile, looking as though he had solved a dire problem. "Here, this will help them to be less painful. Give them a try."
"I'd rather just take your word for it. I've had enough of hobbling around on those things for a day."
"I understand completely. Okay, well, if that's all you need I think I'll be heading out. And, if you need help with anything else, just give me a holler."
"You have my gratitude, David. Have a good evening."
Regina tore the sheets of off herself as though they were on fire. Her silk pajamas clung to her sticky skin, drenched with sweat. Her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe. Her eyes spun wildly in their sockets, not focusing on anything actually around her. If someone were to see her at that moment, they would realize that Regina wasn't really there. Her waking mind was trapped elsewhere.
The brunette scrambled from the bed, frenzied, mumbling incoherent things. She tried to stand, but when she put her weight on both of her feet, a strangled cry ripped from her throat, and she collapsed. Not even faltering, she started clawing at the ground, dragging herself like a crippled beast.
"Daniel..." she moaned. "I'm coming for you. I won't let her take you!" Her voice was rising, her eyes still spinning at a dizzying rate. "I can save you!" She pulled herself to her feet by the doorframe that she found herself by. Ignoring the sharp protests in the soles of her feet, Regina stumbled down the hall, clinging to bare walls, groaning with both emotional and physical pain.
"Father! Father, I had to! I was hurting so bad. Daddy, I love you..." The words tumbled from her lips like a sniveling child, tears staining her blanched face. "I just wanted to be hap-" Her words were cut short when she tumbled down her staircase, landing in a crumpled heap.
She was still and silent for a few long moments, her eyes wide and staring in shock. Then, she inhaled sharply, her breath sputtering as she filled her lungs. "NOOOOOOOO!" she shrieked. She was clutching at her stomach, screaming and writhing on the ground. Regina's hands moved up to claw at her face, her nails leaving long, angry marks, even drawing blood in several places. "I'M SORRY," she howled.
As if possessed, the brunette rose from the floor, half running, half stumbling down the darkened streets. She was sobbing, her face blotchy and scratched, looking like an overgrown toddler having a fit.
Bloody footprints followed her as she blundered her way down the sidewalk, still not seeing anything surrounding her. Her hands were wringing around each other, occasionally flying out in front of her, flinching as though she was trying to ward off an attack.
"Please... Please..." she moaned over and over again in between all of the unintelligible babbling that fell from her trembling lips.
The feral woman crashed her way into the hospital, looking for all the world like a deranged, abused creature escaped from its cage. She staggered her way down a familiar path the brunette was unaware that she was treading. She slipped occasionally from the blood gushing slickly from her feet.
The mayor clawed at the glass door until she threw her weight against it, falling over the threshold and slamming into hard, cold tile. She stood again, because she was Regina Mills, and Regina Mills was a proud woman not to be beaten. Her breath was ragged, her eyes still whirling madly, but she had stopped trying to speak entirely.
As though being pulled by strings attached to her limbs, the manic mayor fumbled her way into Emma's bed. The moment she pressed herself against the blonde's body, Regina's entire demeanor shifted in the blink of an eye. Her breathing steadied, and her bloodshot eyes, though still glassy and unseeing, ceased their nauseating movements. She clung to the unconscious sheriff like a child would their teddy bear. Regina's eyes closed, a contented hum vibrating through her shredded throat. She found her Savior.
Also, for any of you who are interested, I do have a Tumblr. It mostly me reposting Swan Queen stuffs, but even so, you can find me at writers-dilemma. tumblr. com