Revelations

"What does it say?" Mauronk asked, and I jerked awake, it seemed. The idea that anyone could, in good conscience, force people to produce young to prove or disprove a theory... I was frankly stunned. Almost, but not quite, stunned hard enough not to want a dick rammed home for a second.

He wanted a name for himself, did he? Please, whoever's in charge of biological research at that college, pickpocket him and leave a grenade in his pants.

"Apparently, Mauronk," I replied stiffly, "they are making us fuck... for science."

He stared at me for a moment. "What?"

Waving the book, and shrugging helplessly, I explained, "The folks who wrote this book relied on... interviews, I guess. They... assumed things like this..." I gestured to the other couples, then to us. Admittedly, with embarrassment when I indicated us. "This doesn't happen without... force. Either physical or magickal. They didn't think it was morally justifiable to... do what this insane bastard is apparently doing."

"It is... a common belief," he muttered, looking away. "One I embraced as well." I frowned; did he still believe it? I thought we'd had this conversation... Continuing, he growled, "What else does it say? Are we simply... rutting for their amusement?"

Wincing, I said, "Not... just that, I'm sure. I have a feeling this Sanguine guy isn't your average, run of the mill, burn-loot-and-pillage sort of Daedric Prince, right?"

Mauronk glanced around and growled, "No. His sphere is debauchery. Dark fantasies realized. He revels in indulgences of the flesh, as do his followers."

"Ah," I nodded, feeling a bit sick. "Couldn't have picked better support staff for his project, then." Gathering myself, which wasn't easy, I went on, "We're expected... well... if the jerkwad is carrying on this research, he's wanting to see if... these races can produce young together. They're trying to im-... impregnate us."

He fixed me with a very intense look that was made more unsettling by his dark red eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking about, and for a moment my own freaking out took hold. Thinking it was upsetting enough. Saying it out loud...

Oh god. I didn't want a baby, not here! Not in this world, where I was pretty damn sure there were no such things as epidurals and if it was born breech you may as well write out your will! I didn't want to have another helpless person to protect. Keeping my own worthless ass alive was a full-time job as it was. I was a lousy protector, in any case. I couldn't keep Mauronk safe for shit, obviously; look at where we were now!

I must've been panicking, because Mauronk took hold of my shoulders and shook me a little.

"Danni," he said urgently. "We will escape. There are bottles all around; we can break them, use them as weapons. You won't be... forced to... to bear... I promise. I will protect you from... from enduring... I will spare you that. I promise."

Lucid thought was having a hard time maintaining its grip with him so near, his hands on me, his dick hard... A small part of my mind registered that he looked terribly upset. Not like panicked, but hurt. Very hurt and humiliated. I had no idea why.

The bigger, more vaginally-ruled part of me was in pain. I've had guys tell me that if they don't come, like if they get close and have to stop for whatever reason, it's really uncomfortable. I always laughed at them like they'd come up with any excuse to plow me that sounded remotely plausible. Yet here I was, sitting naked on some very well made, smooth, clean sheets that sort of slid underneath when I moved even a little bit, there was a hot, hot stud of an Orsimer within inches, and he had a raging hard on with my name on it.

If I didn't get some relief, if I didn't come, I'd cry. I mean that. It was beyond uncomfortable, being so engorged with anticipation and lust and wanting and needing...

"Mauronk, please," I begged, reaching for his dick. He extended his arms, moving himself back out of reach. "Please, I need relief. I can't even think. Please. Just... just a little fuck. Your fingers, your tongue... anything."

"No," he said firmly, but there was a bit of shake in his voice as he continued. "You are not in your right mind. I will not take advantage of this." His head moved from side to side as he tried to look anywhere but at me or the others. "I can't."

"I... I need it," I pleaded desperately. It was like a drug I couldn't stand and hated like nobody's business, but I needed to have it or everything, everything would be bad. At least if I could get it from him, it would be all right. I knew what he could do for me, what it felt like to be with him. That's what I wanted right now, that fuck on the rock, or the hilting he gave me outside of Riverwood. Bent over frontwards or backwards, I wanted him so badly.

His hands on my arms tightened, and his voice was almost as desperate as mine. "I can't stand seeing you in pain, Danni. I would help you if I could, but not like this." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I love you. With every part of my soul, I love you. I can't do this to you. I can't."

I sat there a little stunned. Okay, a lot stunned. I suspected, guessed, maybe assumed. But to actually hear it from him, spoken so intently like an oath... I was struck speechless.

"I promise, when we are free of this place, when the potion they gave you has worn off and you are in your right mind, I will give you whatever you want. I will do whatever you want me to do. Please you any way you want. But I will not touch you while you are under their influence."

Again, the lust took over, imagining all the things I'd have him do to me later. Probably not what he was going for. But if clear thinking was ever going to happen, I needed to take the edge off. I'd have to thank him for his honorable restraint later; for right now, Miss Vag was bellowing a war cry.

"All right... I'll... god dammit," I breathed, wincing as throbbing wave after wave rolled through. "Jesus, Mauronk, if you're going to be... a good boy... Do you mind if I'm... a bad girl for a sec? I need... so badly... Just... let go of me so I can... take care of this."

"All right," he nodded uncertainly, and let go.

And so began the most embarrassing, humiliating event in my entire life: facing my lover on a strange bed with my legs spread wide, in a strange room surrounded by wildly fucking couples, with my fingers working my twat like a freaky web cam slut. Mauronk made a brave attempt to look away, but was not particularly successful. His hand strayed to his penis and gave it a little stroke before he caught himself and stopped.

With him there, his breathing getting a little more heavy each moment, his eyes very likely trained on me, I couldn't help it, I hit critical mass really quickly. God yes, watch me. Does this turn you on? I can make it last. I can draw it out until you can't help yourself. Go ahead; grab your dick again. I want to see you. Show me how you do it. Show me.

I fell over backwards and convulsed for at least a couple of minutes, that was such a huge orgasm. I've never come so hard for so long by myself. Apparently, I hadn't been quite so dedicated before. I kept it going for a bit, rhythmically rubbing to drag out the last vestiges, making that descent last a bit longer. I felt like I'd been watching hours and hours of porn – really good porn, not the trash that involves loads of blowjobs and facials as if women actually like that shit in their hair – without being able to do anything, then finally got to do something.

Mauronk looked like he was disappointed in himself for not joining in when he had the chance. Either that or he was uncomfortable for another reason. I didn't want to dwell on the likely cause of his discomfort, which was probably the whore-ible behaviors I was displaying.

When my breathing settled and coherent thought had the opportunity to reign supreme for a moment, I curled up in a ball and hugged myself, refusing to look at him. I heard him shift positions a bit, then felt his hand on my back, rubbing gently as if I was lying on the bathroom floor after a really prolonged vomit.

"Are you all right, Danni?" he murmured quietly.

I was close to tears as I replied, "I can't even look at you right now. I feel... so dirty. Not like... 'who's a naughty girl' sort of dirty, but... filthy. Unclean. In an ucky way. I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to do this shit. I just... can't help it. I hope... when we get out... you forget everything you saw me do."

"I will do my best... to forget," he swore bravely. "Can you think now? We must make some sort of plan. When that woman returns, we must subdue her. Find out how we may escape. If there are very many others here. Locks or guards... we need information."

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I nodded, then a thought formed in my mind. A giant, massive flaw in the whole operation. "Mauronk... why didn't they give you this drug? Wouldn't it be... kind of dangerous having a clear-thinking Orc on the loose in a place like this?" I looked over my shoulder at him, and he looked even more humiliated than he had before. It struck me briefly that this entire situation was even harder on him than it was on me, for entirely different reasons.

"They do not know Orsimer well," he said in a quiet voice laced with bitterness. "And they certainly do not know me."

"No, they don't," I agreed. "You're a good man, Mauronk. A very, very good man. I trust you. I have to follow your lead because I can't think straight." The tears started up again and my voice quavered. "I'm starting to want again. Please hurry. Think of something."

"Right," he nodded. "There are bottles all around. We can break a few off, and we will have edged weapons." An uncomfortable chuckle snuck out of him, and he touched the scar on his cheek. "I did not get this in honorable battle. It was a bar fight. Someone broke a bottle and struck me. It was fists only until that moment... until he cut me." His voice faded and he looked away.

Frowning, I sat up. "And then what happened?"

"I killed him," Mauronk muttered. "I was enraged. I lost my head... quite a bit. I was injured, angry... and drunk."

Nervously, I admit, I nodded in agreement. "See? I told you. Heavy drinking will get you in trouble."

"It did," he continued. "I was in prison for a year. The Cidhna Mine in Markarth."

"A year? For murder?" I asked incredulously. "That's all?"

"That is all that is needed, believe me," he replied tightly. His clenched jaw worked for a moment, as if he was pushing away some really dark memories, then he seemed to rally. "How are you feeling?"

Now was probably not the time to dredge up painful pasts, so I filed this one away for later. It hit me hard that I didn't know diddly squat about him. He used to be a mercenary, and he sometimes drank too much. That's pretty much all I knew. Yet I swear, I would do anything for him. He was very important to me. Maybe I wasn't ready to use the 'L' word in a sentence describing my feelings for him, but... it wasn't far away. What I knew about him was mostly based on his behavior post-Helgen, because he was a total bastard while we were there.

How could he, in a matter of days, be able to say he loves me when he was such a prick to me then?

"Talking seems to be... keeping me... sort of calm," I replied. "So... maybe we should keep going."

He nodded. "Yes. Talking must be distracting you. We should talk until she gets back. What should we talk about?"

God, where to begin? Who are you? What kind of man are you? What have you done all your life? Who's your hero? Did you grow up here in Skyrim in a stronghold, or did you come from some other place? There was so much I didn't know! Dammit, I went gleefully to bed with a total stranger.

Since it was more recently on my mind, I decided to start with that. "How about... we talk about Helgen. I mean, when we were trying to get out of there, you were kind of mean to me. Then you pretty much did a one-eighty when we got out. I just don't understand what your feelings were; how they could change so quickly."

He bowed his head, looking really uncomfortable. It took him a few moments to force himself to speak, during which time I was getting more worried. What the hell was he going to tell me? Naturally, since I didn't know him from Adam, I had no damn idea.

"I wanted you from the start," he said tightly, avoiding my eyes.

When he paused, I felt the need to make some sort of reply. All I could manage was, "Oh." Not very intelligent, but it was kind of stunning. He sure as hell didn't act like... Wait, maybe he did. He started out being... semi-sociable, calling me 'Little One' and whatnot. Then it all sort of went to hell... "In the wagon?" I managed, just to be clear when this amazing transformation occurred.

To my surprise, he nodded. "Yes."

"I see," I whispered in confusion. "But you were... I mean... How...?"

"Please understand, Danni, I had never felt... that way... for a woman who was not Orsimer," he explained. "The more I knew you, the more angry I became... with myself. I could not believe I wanted you so badly, and not just... not just for sex."

He actually winced, and maybe I did too. Okay, so he had one of those immediate physical attraction things hit him. It happens. I can't swear in a court of law that I didn't look at the full package that was Mauronk – since he displayed it so damned openly – and have a few impure thoughts go through my mind as well. Except... he said 'not just for sex.'

"I wanted...to mate with you," he continued. "To be with you. Stand by your side. For... for always."

"But... I wasn't... an Orsimer," I ventured when he paused. "So... did you think it was... wrong? To feel that way?"

"There is a lot that is different between our races," Mauronk replied. "Too much of what my people do offends your people. I tried not to offend you, and... I failed. Repeatedly." His voice got even quieter. "I tried not to hurt you, and I... I failed. Repeatedly. It is safer for me to be with another Orsimer."

I could hear misery in his voice, though his head was bowed too deeply for me to see it in his face. There was quite a bit building in me as well. This confession of his had 'I think it would be better if we saw other people' written all over it.

Not now, Mauronk. Don't leave me hanging in a place like this. Please. I... I thought you loved me.

"Oh... okay," I whimpered. "So... so why did you... hit me? Because I wasn't... good enough?"

"No," he insisted, and finally looked up. "I was angry at you... because you weren't what I thought I wanted. What I thought I should want. You're not... brave, you're not skilled in battle, you're not... Orsimer." He must have seen the devastated look on my face, and likely the tears starting to fall. "I wanted... to make you Orsimer, if only in... spirit. An Orsimer woman would have... responded in kind. You did not." He bowed his head, clearly ashamed. "I am sorry, Danni."

"I'm... I'm still not those things," I sobbed, wiping the tears off my face. I thought diddling myself in front of him was humiliating enough; this was worse. "Does that mean...?"

"No," he said firmly, and took hold of my hands. His voice trembled, as if his mastery over his own emotions was faltering. "No. I have... I have fallen in love with you... so far, I can never rise again. Danni, I am so sorry... for the way I treated you, for what I did, the things I thought. You... you are... everything to me, and I... I am so sorry. I want you as you are. I love you as you are. Whether you are Orsimer or not, it does not matter; I love Danni. By my blood, before the eyes of Malacath, I swear, I love you, and I will not leave your side until death takes me from you."

I had no answer but relieved tears and a tight embrace. He held me, rocked me, stroked my hair and my back. I held him so close, and for that brief moment, it was bliss. No artificially-induced lust intruded on this moment.

He loved me. Maybe I wasn't ready to say it myself, but I knew it was growing. I wanted it to grow. I wanted to nurture that feeling as if I was a dedicated bonsai gardener. Once we were in a safer place for it, anyway.

Then the door opened, and the bitch was back.