Sorry for the delay; I was caught up in finals then two very long plane rides.
For most people, deciphering Toushiro's expressions was impossible. Ichigo had experience, which was why he could tell that his husband was feeling down on their lunch date that afternoon. There was a slight difference in the way he held himself, with his shoulders hunched and arms clasped loosely at his front instead of his usual rigid military posture. His frown was not as severe, but his lips were drawn into a thin line. He had listlessly returned Ichigo's greeting kiss and walked a few paces ahead of him. Ichigo let him have his space and only picked up a conversation when they had sat down to eat.
He sighed softly as he reached across the table and took Toushiro's hand, forcing him to set down his chopsticks and look up.
"What's wrong?" Ichigo asked.
Toushiro slowly shook his head and sighed. "It's nothing that you can help with."
Ichigo smoothed his thumbs over Toushiro's knuckles. "Maybe I can."
"Trust me; you can't."
"Will you at least tell me what's wrong? I don't like seeing you like this."
Toushiro huffed, running his free hand through his hair. "I saw Granny Haru in Rukongai today."
"Granny..."
"You remember the old woman who I used to write letters to in Karakura? I visited her a few years ago and ... I don't even know how long she's been here."
Ichigo squeezed his hand, knowing where Toushiro's mind was going.
"I should have visited her more, spent time with her. I knew she was old-"
"Babe-"
Toushiro sighed and withdrew his hand. "I think I'm going back to work now."
Ichigo grabbed him as he rounded the table and pulled him onto his lap. "I think you should take the rest of the day off." He wound his arms around Toushiro's waist and perched his chin on his shoulder.
Toushiro was silent and Ichigo knew then exactly how badly he was feeling.
"I'm taking you home."
He sat with Toushiro on the couch, an arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders while the other played with his fingers. He had made him a cup of tea, but it stood forgotten on the coffee table in front of them. They sat in silence; Toushiro would talk when he was ready. Ichigo rested his cheek against the top of his head, watching as the steam from the teacup rose and dissipated in swirls. He felt Toushiro relax against him bit by bit and nuzzle into his chest. He kissed the top of his head and squeezed his hand.
Eventually, Toushiro spoke.
"She didn't remember me," he mumbled. Ichigo pressed his lips to his temple. "I didn't expect her to, but..."
"It still hurt?"
Toushiro sighed heavily. "She helped me out. When I first became a shinigami, she helped me out more than she could ever know." Ichigo pulled him closer and hugged him tighter. Toushiro rested his head against Ichigo's neck. "I should have made more time to see her."
"Shiro, you barely have time to spend with me and we're married. You did what you could; I think she liked getting your letters anyway."
"I did what I could, but it doesn't feel like it was enough. I don't even know how she died."
Ichigo was silent for a while. "Does that matter?"
He felt Toushiro tense.
"How is she doing in Rukongai? Is she happy? Has she met anyone new?"
"She seemed happy. She found a family... they looked like they were doing well."
"Well then, if she's happy I don't see any reason for you not to be as well."
Toushiro brought his feet up to the edge of the couch. "Yeah I know, but..."
Ichigo smiled slightly as he flicked a lock of hair from Toushiro's forehead and pressed his lips to it. "You miss her."
He nodded.
Ichigo pulled him onto his lap and wrapped both arms around his waist. Toushiro slung and arm around his neck and buried his face into his chest. He wouldn't cry, he very rarely cried. But he did need time to brood, to sort everything out and decide how he was going to cope with it. And Ichigo would be there until he did.
This is from NicoZi, up next is ShiroHalla :)
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- Mymomomo