This chapter was inspired by the song Eyes Closed by the Narratives. It was requested by Sweet Jelly Hearts.

Eyes Closed

"Look… I don't want to talk about it, alright? It's over. Just leave me alone."

"… Fine."

Matthew turned towards the window and pulled his legs up onto the passenger seat. He wrapped his arms around them. He rested his chin on his knees and watched the rain paint the road slick and black.

Gilbert clenched his teeth and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. The scrapes on his knuckles ached with the pressure.

A fight… Another stupid fight. Awful, and messy, and so very pointless.

And it was all his fault.

The rain splattered against the windshield faster than he could clear it. He frowned. It was getting harder and harder the see the twists and turns ahead.

How fitting…

The car hugged the railing. There was a mountain to one side of them and a sheer drop to the other.

Matthew closed his eyes and hugged his legs tighter. He hiccupped. His curls were soaking and pasted to his forehead. The streetlights coloured his pale face as the car zipped past in a constant light, dark, light, dark pattern.

He was beautiful.

Gilbert could not understand how their relationship seemed to become more and more complicated even as it became simpler. And it was simple. It was crystal clear. He was in love with Matthew. And somehow that made it complicated.

And it hurt his head. And his heart.

He had never been in a long term relationship before. He had never liked anyone enough to bother.

And then he had met Matthew. And it all changed. Suddenly, he cared what someone else thought of him. Suddenly, he wanted to make someone else happy. He wanted to keep Matthew safe and sound and set him on a pedestal.

But, somehow, he kept screwing it up.

Gilbert flexed his fingers and hissed. The cuts on his hands split open again with the motion but he knew that he deserved it.

Another stupid fight… And it was all his fault.

He deserved it.

He clenched his hands even tighter. Blood dripped onto the steering wheel.

He deserved it. He deserved it. He…

Matthew sighed and reached for his right hand without opening his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Gilbert blinked in surprise.

"For what?"

"For this," Matthew ran his smooth fingertips over the cuts and spread the blood across his knuckles, all without looking. How did he always know? How?

Gilbert grimaced.

"It's my fault. I started it."

Matthew smiled, small and strained and perfect. He kept his eyes closed.

"And I finished it." He touched the bruise blossoming on his cheekbone. It stung.

"I'm sure you'd like to think that," Gilbert laughed but there was no humour to it. It was harsh and possessive and broken. He tightened his grip on Matthew.

Matthew returned the gesture.

"I beat you fair and square, admit it."

"… Okay."

Matthew finally opened his eyes and studied Gilbert. The streetlights caught the lavender in his eyes and highlighted the tears on his cheeks.

"And I still love you. I do."

"… Okay," Gilbert choked.

Matthew squeezed his hand again and turned back to the window.

"… I think the storm's letting up," he said after a moment. He continued to stroke his knuckles. "Don't you?"

Gilbert looked up at the clouds. The storm was getting worse and the skies danced with thunder and lightning. The rain was coming down even harder than before. It was not getting better. Not at all.

Just like them…

But he could pretend. For Matthew, he could pretend that everything was alright.

After all, it was the only thing he was good at.

"Yes, I think you're right…"

Author's Notes:

This is not terribly long but it is the beginning of a month long 'Inspired' marathon. I owe you guys a little bit of love. And by 'a little bit', I mean thirty one shots.

Love is strange. And I think that their fights would often end up in physical scuffles. Testosterone is like that.

I disappeared for a little while there. I wanted to thank everyone who checked in on me, especially Mayurei13 and Fia Rose. It meant a lot to me even though I had some trouble responding.

To be honest, I was suicidal. And it was scary. But I'm working on it.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please find someone to talk to. Whether they are a friend or a complete stranger, whether they are near or far, someone out there thinks that the world is a better place because you are in it.

I am still taking requests, so feel free to send me song recommendations. I plan to get through a bunch of them this week. (I found my list!)

All of my love. Truly.