Thanks to Sri for pre-reading this, and helping me with it, despite the time difference.
The amazing Iris, beta extraordinaire, makes this so much better.
Thanks to you dear readers and reviewers, you make this so much fun. I love chatting with people after the chapter goes up!
Bella lingered in the shower as thoughts of yesterday's escapades washed away. She thought about the look on Mike's face as he stepped away from her and slammed the door behind him. How had things started to go so wrong between them?
And that was when she realized that they'd never fought before. They'd never challenged each other on anything. The past four years of her life had been easy and safe.
And superficial.
How had they managed to spend so much time together avoiding anything that would cause conflict?
As Bella dried off, she wondered what Mike thought she was saying with her parting words.
As she pulled on yoga pants and a sweater, she wondered what she meant.
Bella heard the car in her drive as the clock on her microwave changed to nine. She opened her front door to find Edward already there.
"Oh." She breathed out the syllable. "You suited up." She may have been a married woman, but she was still a woman. How could she not check him out? This was not the type of suit the boys of Forks wore; plain, black (or gray, if they're particularly daring), off the rack, not quite the right fit. This was that suit's opposite; fitted perfectly, chocolate brown. It was what men wore on the red carpet when they wanted to be noticed. This was the suit of a 20-something, Wall Street burn-out.
She looked down and grimaced at her comfortable, day-off standard.
"You look fine."
"No." She shook her head and gestured to him. "You're like Mr. CEO, and I'm like..." The phrase soccer mom died on her lips. "I'm going to get changed. Do you want to wait inside?" She backed up and opened the door to welcome him in.
Standing on her front step was one thing, but he couldn't bring himself to enter her house. "Nah. I'll just..." He waved his hand behind him as he took a step backwards. He wanted to watch her walk away. He didn't mind her in yoga pants at all.
It was a good thing he wasn't holding the steering wheel when she left the house, or he would have shattered it. He didn't mind the yoga pants, but he was glad she'd changed out of them for this. She was back to his librarian fantasy: fitted skirt, suit jacket buttoned over a crisp white shirt. He'd seen that outfit at work. What caused his fists to clench and his pants to become suddenly, uncomfortably tight were the details. She was back in the stiletto heels she'd worn the day he'd watched her and Mike on the desk, her stockings had a line up the back, and her skirt was tight enough he could see the fasteners of the garter belt below the material. She carried a professional leather handbag in one hand and had her trenchcoat over her arm. Her hair was up in a bun, but a few wisps hung down and would have drawn attention to her neck, if he could've torn his eyes away from her face. There was no way she could have known. He didn't know about his librarian fantasy until the day he'd approached her in the stacks. She looked nearly perfect that day. In the days since, he'd thought of her often in that outfit, and of taking her out of it, but he'd always added a single accessory.
And there they were. Real this time.
She opened the back door, and placed her coat and bag on the seat before settling herself in. He said nothing. He tried to think of something, anything, to get control of himself.
"Okay," Bella huffed as she fastened her seatbelt. "Think I can pass as your secretary?"
"You wear glasses?"
"They're fake. What? You think I haven't played secretary before?" She laughed and looked out the passenger window.
It was a very good thing he had left his fists clenched on his thighs. Had he been touching anything, he would have annihilated it.
"So... Where are we going?" They'd turned onto the 101. "Port A?"
"I don't know. I couldn't make a decision until I was with you. What dealerships are there?"
"I don't know. They've got to have something, right?"
He handed her a phone she didn't see him retrieve. "You can Google it."
Bella started reciting the listings when she noticed Edward was looking at the screen of the phone instead of the road. "Hey! I know you're unbreakable, but think of the human beside you. Eyes on the road, mister."
Edward laughed. "I can handle multitasking, but here, if it will make you feel better." He pulled the phone out of her hand, held it up near the steering wheel, and scrolled through. "They've got nothing. I'm feeling like something a little... older."
Bella spent the next hour intermittently scrolling through classic car listings, trying to get a feel for what Edward was interested in. He'd take the phone from her occasionally, read the specs, and then hand it back to her with a shake of his head. She'd grown bored of what she perceived to be a useless activity and put his phone down to pick up her own. First, she replied to a few emails, ignoring one from Angela with the subject 'Lunch Today?' and then she started to play a time-wasting game when Edward put his hand over her phone.
"We're nearly halfway to Seattle, and you've shown me ten cars. Why are you playing games? You're slacking off, secretary." He looked down at her, giving her a flash of his best brooding expression before he lost his nerve and winked instead.
Bella rolled her eyes but put her phone away. She adjusted in her seat so that she was turned to Edward. "Nearly halfway in just over an hour. I forgot what madness it is when you drive. Why are you doing this anyway? I thought you had an extensive car collection."
"I do. I just don't have access to it right now."
"You don't have access to it?" Bella crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. She had a hard time imagining Edward giving up access to his cars.
"Rose is in control of it. I don't even know where they are."
"And you can't ‒ I don't know ‒ read her mind or something?"
"She's protecting them. I, uh... wasn't very kind to the Volvo." His hand was on the back of his neck again. He didn't want to go into it.
"What did you do?" Bella leaned forward slightly, eager to hear about Edward losing control.
"I wrecked it." He was hoping that would be enough, but he knew it wouldn't be.
"I feel like there's more to the story."
"There is... but... it's embarrassing."
"I told you about the time I jumped off a cliff," Bella joked.
"That's not funny. I'd appreciate if you didn't make light of your suicide attempt." All of Edward's nervous apprehension was replaced with an intensity that caused Bella to shift back in her seat.
"Sorry. You're right. I was just trying to remind you that I did stupid things in the wake of that heartbreak, too."
Edward turned away from Bella to watch the road. There was a speed trap ahead, so he slowed his considerable pace to the acceptable crawl of legal speed limits.
"I wrecked it. Then I laked it."
"You had a car accident?" If he did, she knew it would have been deliberate. Maybe she wasn't the only one who'd tried to permanently stop the pain.
"Not quite. I... uh..."His hand was back to fiddling, though it was with his suit this time. "I took a Sharpie to it."
"A Sharpie?"
"Your scent was everywhere. Being in it was... torture. I couldn't drive without thinking of you in the passenger seat. Or that one time in the back seat." He glanced at her, and she gave him a shy smile.
"I remember that night." She remembered it well. They'd driven down to Aberdeen one evening in the summer to go to the drive-in. He'd wanted to give her another typical experience. She'd convinced him to watch from the back seat. Halfway through the movie, he'd pulled her onto his lap, straddling his thighs, and held her in place while they didn't watch the movie. She'd loved it, even though she thought she was going to combust with sexual frustration on the drive home.
"I couldn't get out of the car. I left you and drove straight to Alaska. The family followed. I didn't get out for weeks. Eventually, I found a sharpie under your seat. It must have fallen out of your backpack. I started writing..."
"On the car?"
"All over the car. When I filled the interior, I moved to the outside. I was so obsessed, I didn't hear my family at all. When I was done, I collapsed. Carlisle pulled me away, forced me to eat. I'd like to say that cleared my head, but I just returned to the car and lost my mind."
"What did you write?"
"Everything you'd ever said to me. Every word. I drew us together. I was trying to exorcise you from my perfect memory."
For the briefest flash, she felt everything. Everything she'd thought she'd worked so hard to get over threatened to burst out. Her hand went to her heart, as if she could put it back together and force it back inside.
"No!" She spoke forcefully enough that Edward's head whipped around, unsure of why she was yelling at him. Only she hadn't been. Her fist was clenched over her heart, and her eyes were closed. He recognized the expression she wore; it's how others remembered her right after Edward left.
Then, he saw the torment on her face instantly soften. When her eyes opened, they were gentle and full of empathy. "That's very sad."
Edward blinked. What she'd just done was very interesting. Something clicked into place. He'd need to talk to Carlisle to be sure.
"I was a mess."
"I can relate." They were quiet, each lost in their own melancholy for the moment. "What happened next?"
"I tore it apart. I threw it in the lake." He shrugged. That was it. He'd told her.
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"We've come a long way."
He nodded. As much as he was still heartbroken, she was right. They had come a long way.
"Now, let's get you some new wheels." She patted his leg, briefly, and then picked up his phone. She didn't let on that she was burning from the contact.
Neither did he.
Bella spent some more time quietly scrolling through car listings until she finally found something that she thought Edward would be interested in. She clicked on the image and held it up for him. His face lit up.
"That's my girl."
He held his hand out, and when Bella handed the phone over, there was a casual, deliberate touch.
Bella watched as Edward transformed in front of her. It was like yesterday in the library. All traces of the boy she knew disappeared. She watched him make phone calls and arrange the purchase of the car. He put his phone away as they turned into the dealership. They didn't even have to go all the way to Seattle. He'd made the three-hour drive in just over two. Bella let herself out of the car and met Edward at the front. He started to walk toward the eager salesman, already heading in their direction, when she grabbed his arm.
"Wait!" She started to adjust his collar. All his fidgeting had left him looking the slightest bit disheveled.
"What's wrong? You're looking at me funny. Am I that much of a mess right now?" He reached up to smooth down his hair. He'd made an effort to keep it under control that morning.
"No." She adjusted his tie, but her hands lingered. "Edward?"
"Yes?"
"What happens when Peter Pan grows up?"