This chapter was inspired by the song 'When I Was Your Man' by Bruno Mars. It was requested by Darkfoot.
When I Was Your Man
Gilbert pressed his hands into his pockets and kept his head down. He was wearing dark clothes and a hat in an attempt to remain inconspicuous but it just highlighted the fact that he no longer belonged here.
So he kept to the shadows.
Old friends and neighbours walked around him on the street, ignoring him. It hurt, but he refused to move. He was waiting for someone.
He sighed and checked his wristwatch. It was 2145 hours. He would be here in a minute or two.
Gilbert scanned the faces in the crowd, looking for one in particular. He worried his lip and thought about leaving.
And then he saw him. And there was no escape.
Matthew walked down the other side of the street and his breath caught in his throat. There was a bouquet of tulips nestled in his arm and another man holding his hand. He looked content.
Gilbert backed further into the shadows.
Matthew twirled around and kissed the other man on his cheek, giggling. The other man laughed and pulled him even closer, kissing him on the lips. Matthew melted into him.
And Gilbert took another step backwards.
He wanted to run across the street and step between them. He wanted to throw those flowers on the sidewalk and stomp on them until the petals were paste and the stems were in pieces.
He wanted to do a lot of things, most of them horrible and selfish and rude, but more than that…
He wanted Matthew to be happy.
Gilbert wanted him to have everything that he could never give him. He wanted Matthew to be with someone who would spend time with him and never brush him off; someone who would give him gifts and take him out on dates. He wanted him to be with someone who was not afraid to dance.
He took another step backwards.
Matthew ran up the steps to his apartment and the man chased after him. He kissed the back of his neck as Matthew fiddled with his keys and then the two of them disappeared.
Gilbert pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering why he kept doing this to himself. Matthew had kicked him out four months ago. It was over. Done.
But every night he stood on this corner and waited for Matthew to come home. He never said anything; never called attention to himself. He just wanted to see him, if only for a moment.
He should have appreciated Matthew when he had the chance, and now he was with another man.
And he had to stop doing this to himself. It was cruel.
Gilbert turned on his heel and took off down the backlane. He clenched his teeth and tried to remember how to breathe. In, out, in, out.
It was not helping.
He growled and kicked the garbage cans.
He had to stop doing this to himself but he knew that he would be back tomorrow.
After all, one more night could not hurt. It was too late.
His heart was already broken.
Author's Notes:
Uhm, this is rather short but it is sort of like the previous chapter in that there is no dialogue. In the previous chapter, they decided to give it another chance. In this one, well… Not so much. (Gilbert… That's stalking, m'dear…)
I know the previous chapter hit a little close to home for some people so please forgive me for this one.
Wow… I cannot believe how many chapters there are to this. And there will be another twenty or so before the end of the month. The next chapter will be longer and, I think, more cheerful.
Love!