Thank you Sri, who read this first. And BIG thanks to Iris, who makes this so much more readable.
Thank you Twilightladies/Karen for recommending this to your followers. If you aren't reading her lovely story, "I Belong With You" you should be.
The weekend faded into Monday. Bella drove to work with the resolve to ask Edward to pull back a little. Angela had hit a nerve, and Bella realized she'd been crossing lines with Edward. She held firm that she was not having an affair with him, but she also knew, deep down, that she had contemplated it. She also knew that she wouldn't change her mind about having children, even if Edward had never come back, but she did wonder if she would have been so quick to end her marriage with Mike.
In the end, the what-may-have-been didn't matter. Edward was back, and something was building between the two of them. She needed to know where they were going, but first, she needed to be fair to Mike. It wasn't right to give him hope when she was already contemplating moving on to someone else. Her relationships became an organized to-do list as she let herself detach from her feelings. She loved Mike, but she knew now that she wasn't in love with him. She'd only ever been in love once, and she had a chance at it again. Now she needed to be brave and put what she wanted over what others wanted from her.
The chance to talk on Monday was lost to meetings and deadlines. Bella was still covering evening shifts at Newton's, but she didn't invite Edward to talk to her there. It was all the little details of the pending separation that chipped away at her. She and Mike had built a life together, and she didn't know how to untangle herself from it.
It was nearly closing time, and Bella was stocking shelves while the store was quiet. She'd just gone into the storage room to pull out a replacement for the tent she'd sold earlier when she heard the bear bells ring as the front door opened.
"Babe!"
She came through the door with the new stock to find Mike in the middle of the store.
"Babe, what have I told you about leaving the door open when you're not out on the floor?" He lifted the box from her arms and carried it to the shelf. "I worry enough about you working here at night." He was gentle as he admonished her. Until recently, this was as close as they'd been to getting into a fight.
"Thanks," she said, gesturing to the shelf, once again stocked with tent packages.
"I brought dinner. I thought we could try to talk this through."
"Mike..." Bella sighed. "I don't know what more we can say to each other."
"I looked into some counselors in Port A. I don't want to go to anyone here. This place is too small. If anyone sees us coming or going from a shrink's office‒"
"Mike." This time Bella said his name firmly. The phrase it's kinder to be cruel came to mind. "Counseling isn't going to fix us. We don't have the kind of problem that can be resolved by better communication. We want fundamentally different things in life. There's no compromise on this."
"I don't want to lose you. That's not what I want. I'll take it back. I'll try to give up wanting kids."
"See right there. What you just said? The 'I'll try'? That's the problem."
"I'm doing my best here, Bella."
"I know." She reached out to touch his face. "It's me."
"Don't do that." He said stepping back and shaking his head. "Don't do that 'It's not you; it's me' bullshit."
Bella took a deep breath, and then she said what Mike feared she would say. "I'll move out."
"Where are you going?" He stepped forward to embrace her, but then he stopped. He stood frozen for just a moment before putting his arms down.
"I don't know."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." Bella leaned against the cash desk, the enormity of the task before her starting to settle in. Where would she go? Even if she began a relationship with Edward, she wouldn't be living with him. As Mike had said, this was a small town. She wouldn't jump straight from Mike's bed to Edward's.
"There's no rush. You don't need to leave yet. Stay a while. Find somewhere before you go." He stepped toward her again.
"I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I drag this out."
At that Mike broke. "You're afraid that's what will hurt me?" His barking laughter turned into a sob. "Jesus, Bella. You're breaking my heart no matter what you do." Mike stretched his arms out, grazing Bella's hip, and put his head on the counter.
Bella watched the pain move through him as though they were other people. She couldn't let herself reach out to comfort him, because she was afraid it would only make it harder to let go.
After a while, he raised his head and scrubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to clean up. "Have you talked to anyone about this?"
She shook her head.
"Can you fake this for another week? I'd like to get through Jessica's wedding..." He trailed off. What he hoped was that being at a wedding would rekindle something. Bella just thought he'd like to avoid an incredibly awkward day.
It was Thursday before Bella and Edward had a chance to be alone. He could tell something was weighing on her throughout the week and kept his distance. He was afraid that Angela had caused her more problems at home, and he didn't want to be the cause of more hurt.
But a chance encounter with Mike in the parking lot on Wednesday night led to some interesting revelations and an impromptu agreement he would need to clear with Bella.
He wanted to approach her in one of their offices, but he watched her disappear into that stacks and decided to take the opportunity as it presented.
She sensed him coming toward her. She'd wondered if he'd follow. She'd walked by his open door deliberately. She didn't know what she wanted to say to him, only that she should say something.
So she was surprised when he led with, "Your husband would feel more comfortable with our friendship if I wasn't single."
Bella raised a single eyebrow. "Oh? And he told you this, did he?"
"Actually, yeah."
"Edward, come on. We've talked about you staying out of his mind before. This is exactly why you need to stay away from him. I'm not comfortable with his private thoughts laid bare for you." She didn't want Edward to find out about their upcoming separation that way.
"I did. It kept going blank."
"That's not very nice."
He chuckled a little. "That's not what I mean. Just every so often, it's like a thought goes missing."
Bella narrowed her eyes in warning. "So what happened that made you think he isn't happy with our friendship?"
"He asked me if I was seeing anyone."
"What was he thinking?" Bella was worried Angela had gone to Edward despite saying she wouldn't.
Edward turned and leaned on the stack so that he could look at Bella. "That's just it. I can't read him very well. Nothing about you. His thoughts on me? Those come through loud and clear. When I left here last night, he was in the parking lot waiting for you. I went up and spoke to him. I'm trying to make things easier for you. If we're going to be friends, then maybe I should be at least friendly with your husband."
Bella took a break from putting away books and leaned across from Edward. "Thank you. I appreciate you all trying with him. Emmett and Rose are coming out with us tomorrow night. There's a party after the rehearsal dinner, and Em somehow managed to invite himself." Bella decided it was time to tell him she wouldn't be with Mike for much longer. She still needed Edward to define what a future with him should look like. Perhaps it was time to ask.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. We're planning on sticking around here for a while. And as long as you're okay with it, we'd like to be in your life. Since it can't be like it was before - the two of us huddled away from the world - I'm going to have to be a part of your life in a different way." Bella was touched at the way they were trying, but it troubled her slightly. If she was to be with Edward, changing her would be non-negotiable. If he still wasn't willing to change her, she couldn't see much of a future with him. "That's not all, though. We always get things wrong when we don't communicate." Bella smiled. It was exactly what she'd been thinking. They needed to communicate. "They invited me along. And a friend."
"I thought I was your friend." It was accusatory and out of her mouth before she could stop it. She instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I think what I meant to say was who?"
"That's what I want to talk to you about. There's another family, like us, in Alaska. Do you remember me talking about them?"
She nodded.
"They're down visiting. Tanya's been a good friend to me. She's going to come along. We thought if Mike thinks I have a girlfriend, he may feel a little less threatened."
"Oh."
"Bella, I swear she's just a friend. But it may be easier if Mike thinks it's something... more..." Edward trailed off.
"No, it's okay." Bella's smile was perhaps a little too wide. She heard what he was saying, but her mind automatically went to a conversation in the forest and the word distraction. "You should find someone. I'm happy for you. I am." She came off the wall and started to push the cart out of the aisle.
"Bella, I promise you it's nothing."
"That's all right. I'm looking forward to meeting her." Bella couldn't bring herself to turn around and face him when she said it, though.
Edward watched her shut down and decided to push back. He got in front of her and then leaned down so that his face was inches from hers. "Don't do this. Don't go to that place where you shut everything out. You know how I feel about you. I'm only bringing her along to make things easier for you."
She said nothing. He watched her silently process his words saw the moment when she believed him.
"There's something I want to talk to you about, but this isn't the place." She was trying to fight her insecurities. She needed to be as honest with him as he'd been with her. "Let me get through this weekend and Jessica's wedding. Can I come by your house on Sunday?"
Bella sat with the rest of the wedding party and watched the door. Emmett and Rosalie had already joined them. It was fun to watch him connect with the boys and crush back beer after beer. She wondered what he was really doing with them. Rosalie had managed to sneak in beside Bella when Mike got up to get another drink. She said nothing, but put her hand under the table and gave Bella's knee a gentle squeeze. She knew who was about to walk through that door. She could hear their conversation in the parking lot. Rosalie wanted to tell Bella what she thought about this idea, that it was ridiculous, and that she and Edward needed to drop the act. But she held her tongue and offered comfort instead of opinion.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Tanya asked as she got out of the car.
"I don't know." Edward sighed. He couldn't see any way around this. He needed Mike off his back. He'd explained to Bella why he was doing this. He was clear with Tanya why this was happening. She'd been remarkably supportive. He still couldn't shake the feeling this was a bad idea.
Alice and Jasper joined them as they walked into the bar. Tanya curled her arm into Edward's. "Maybe she needs to see what she could lose."
As they walked through the door, several things happened at once. Rosalie felt Bella stiffen beside her. Bella watched Alice and Jasper enter, and for a moment, she thought of the first time she saw them walk into the cafeteria, of how strange it was to be sitting with Jessica ten years later and watch them enter a bar. But she barely had time to finish that thought when she saw who was behind them. This doesn't hurt, she told herself. The instant change in her mood caught Jasper's attention, whose thoughts would have caught Edward's had he been paying any mind. His eyes didn't come off Bella's. If he had any indication the situation was distressing Bella, he would call it off.
Instead, she smiled cordially and followed Rosalie to say hello.
Mike had come back to the table to watch Bella walk to Edward. He was curious how she would react. He couldn't help but wonder if the Cullens were behind the breakdown of his marriage. But he watched Bella warmly welcome Edward's girlfriend, and any doubts he had were put to rest.
The night progressed better than Edward could have hoped. Bella and Tanya got along like old friends. He was amused at the thoughts he could read. Mike's mind was difficult, but some thoughts got through. Edward could see him relax as the night went on, and Bella showed no signs of jealousy or over familiarity with Edward. Their body language was interesting. He'd occasionally touch Bella, putting his hand over hers or his arm over her shoulder. She never reciprocated the touching but, instead, seemed to find reasons to move away.
As Mike relaxed, so did Edward.
He was watching a slightly drunk Bella dance with old friends, his sisters, and Tanya. He thought he was safe until he saw the look on his face through Mike's eyes just as Mike suddenly stepped in front of him.
Had Edward been human, he would have recognized Mike as a threat. He'd grown since high school, and he could now look Edward in the eye. He'd also put on a considerable amount of muscle. He wasn't as big as Emmett, but he was bigger than Edward's slight frame. Edward wanted to keep his human charade. He wasn't sure what was happening, and he couldn't bring himself to step back.
"You son of a bitch! You're fucking in love with her!"
Edward realized he'd made a fatal error. He stopped paying attention to his surroundings and focused solely on Bella. Watching her move on the dance floor, he'd let his emotions come unhinged. He missed that Mike was watching him, and that Tanya and Bella were no longer near each other.
He started to panic. Mike's thoughts were impossible to read, but it was what he said that caused Edward to act.
"Stay away from my girl."
Despite the rising dread that Mike was going to make a friendship with Bella impossible, Edward's exterior stayed calm. He rolled his eyes and pushed past Mike toward Tanya. He didn't acknowledge Bella as he brushed by her.
"Play along," he whispered as he took her face in his hands. He could hear the obscenities Rosalie was throwing at him as he pressed his lips to Tanya's.
That's enough, lover boy. Let's take this outside and settle you down, Tanya thought as she pulled away.
Edward put his arm around her and deliberately steered her by Mike.
"Don't worry, man. I've got my own." Mike didn't acknowledge Edward as he brushed by him. He'd watched Bella for her reaction. Her back had been to him for a moment, but when she turned around, she smiled at Mike. She didn't look bothered at all. He didn't know if he felt better or worse knowing Edward had nothing to do with Bella leaving him. It may have made things easier if he had someone to blame.
It would have made things easier for Edward if he could have read Mike's mind.
Rosalie had been in front of Bella when Edward had kissed Tanya. She'd been the only person in the bar watching Bella's face to see if she'd react. If Edward hadn't blocked Rosalie the moment she'd made her thoughts about him clear, he'd have seen Bella's reaction.
Knowing either of these things would have stopped Edward.