This chapter was inspired by the song 'Make A Memory' by Bon Jovi.

Make A Memory

"Hello again."

Matthew and Gilbert sat across from each other, staring. Awkward and unsure. It was in their body language, in the curve of their lips and the clenching of their fists. Worried, but wanting. Yearning.

"So…"

"It's been awhile," Gilbert interrupted. Matthew flinched and lowered his gaze to his lap.

"And whose fault is that, do you think?" He mumbled, bitter, and it was Gilbert's turn to flinch. It was true… He had been the one to panic, to cut and run. He had been the one to avoid Matthew; to pretend that he was invisible or that he had never existed in the first place. Gilbert tangled his fingers in his hair and pushed it back from his forehead in frustration.

"Ah. Yes. Mine, I guess."

Matthew looked up at him through his eyelashes, studying him with a small smile. He seemed mollified by the acknowledgment.

"… Thank you," Matthew whispered, "for admitting that."

Gilbert smiled back, a little strained and embarrassed. Matthew had been his first relationship, his first real relationship, since coming out of the closet and it had all seemed too real. Too meaningful, and intense, and important. And so he had run, as hard and as fast as he could in the opposite direction, and broken both of their hearts in the process.

But sitting across from him now, Gilbert knew that he was still in love with him. He was still in love with the quiet student who had stuttered and dropped his books the first time he had talked to him; the one who pushed his blonde curls behind his ears when he was nervous; the one who had blushed when Gilbert kissed him the first time, and every time after that.

Gilbert was still in love with Matthew.

"… It's good to see you smile."

Matthew raised his head a little higher, a little defiantly.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Not for you. Not anymore."

Gilbert bit his lip and nodded.

"I'm glad."

He wanted to apologize but he did not think that Matthew would accept it. He seemed past that now, past the anger and betrayal. He just seemed resigned, and curious.

And maybe, just maybe, the tiniest bit hopeful.

"What do you want…?" Matthew started but Gilbert held up his hand.

"You. I want you." He reached into his wallet and pulled out a worn photograph of the two of them in front of the high school bleachers, holding hands and laughing. He put it on the tabletop between them. "I want this. Again."

Matthew stared at the photograph, surprised. Or perhaps shocked.

"Gilbert…"

"I want to try again. With you. Please."

He sucked in a breath.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

"I'm sure that I don't care. I…" Gilbert swallowed and forced out the words that were so difficult to say aloud. "I love you. I'm in love with you. I miss you."

He squirmed in his seat, nervous and uncomfortable and more than a little self conscious. He needed Matthew to understand that he was different now, that he had grown up. That he would not hurt him this time.

Matthew worried his lip and tucked his hair behind his ear, considering him. Gilbert almost melted at the gesture.

He had missed him so much.

"I'm not…" Matthew closed his eyes, tight, and reached for his keys. "I should go…"

His hand hovered over the keys, hesitant and undecided, as if his closed eyes were the only thing keeping him together.

Gilbert took a chance and covered his hand with his own. His eyes flew open and his resolve to say 'no' crumbled into so many pieces. Gilbert searched those eyes, watching the emotions flicker across his face; fear and longing and, oh, desire.

He tightened his grasp on his hand, threading their fingers together with the promise to hold on this time. To never let go. Never again

"You should stay," he said, determined.

And so Matthew did.

Author's Notes:

I am not dead (just job hunting) and I wanted to drop by with something, anything. I am sending all my love to everyone who stops by to check up on me. You are my solace, make no mistake.

I imagine that Matthew has that exact same photograph in his own wallet. Perhaps that was why he was surprised.

P.S. I sometimes post drabbles on tumblr. when I am not on this website (and still under p0ck3tf0x).