This chapter is brought to you by my amazing team, Sri ffn and Iris. Sri has started posting for the twi 25, please go and leave her some love. Iris really went above and beyond this chapter. I struggled and she knew how to help me get through it. And she gives me pep talks before I post.
If you are the type that likes to know what music is being referenced, this chapter features U2, "You're So Cruel" and "You were always on my mind" (Willie Nelson).
Bella endured the girl talk, the make-up, and the hair. The mimosas helped. She smiled in all the right places during the ceremony. She didn't look at Mike, and he was the only one who noticed.
They sat next to each other during the dinner. She found herself shifting to avoid Mike's deliberate, 'casual' touches. She looked around the room. It may as well have been her wedding. The only difference was that no one from the reserve was there. The head table lacked Jacob and Ness; the groom's sister and her husband filled those spots. Jessica's new husband had been Mike's roommate in college. Even when they moved away, people couldn't escape Forks.
They always came back.
It was like any other wedding. They ate. There were speeches. There was dancing. And then Mike was standing, taking Bella by the hand.
Mike pulled her close as they danced. He whispered in her ear, and she ignored him. Her mind was lost to speculation. Did Edward go hunting with Tanya? Did it matter? Did Alice keep her promise to stay away?
She was falling apart. Eleazar's visit had rattled her.
She didn't think she was going to make it through the night. She could feel her heart breaking open and was afraid of the supernova that threatened.
"Why don't we go sit with Ben and Ang now that the party's started?" Mike was pulling Bella along with him as the dance floor was invaded by young and old, eager to clap clap clap clap their hands.
"You're kidding, right?" Bella stopped. Then she silently cursed. Mike had no idea about their latest run in.
"I thought you worked that all out."
Bella took a deep breath. It was too much. She couldn't keep doing this. Their conversations kept going in circles. How did he still not get it? Instead of questioning if leaving him was the right decision, she found herself wondering why she'd stayed so long. "We did. I just… How do we keep pretending? This wasn't a good idea."
Mike's eyes went wide, then hard. "You're not doing this here."
"No, I'm not. Go over to them. I'm going to the bar. I'll bring you a beer."
Bella was glad to wait in the long line. The guests who weren't dancing were ready to make use of the open bar. She made small talk with old friends of Mike's, many of whom she hadn't seen in three years.
She sucked it up and smiled. She was introduced to new girlfriends and soon-to-be-wives. She knew the bar would be safe. It was the older women she needed to avoid. They were always the ones who wanted to know if they should start knitting blankets and beanies.
By the time she was back at the table, her wine was nearly gone. Mike was sitting with Ben, but there was no sign of Angela at the table. Ben gestured to the empty seat. "Angela wanted me to apologize. She's exhausted and wanted to take advantage of Ben being gone to try to get some sleep," Mike explained. Ben's eyes were cold as he looked at Bella. Angela may not have told Mike, but she'd certainly told her husband what she suspected.
Bella sat quietly and plotted a way to escape. Eventually, Tyler showed up flashing cigars, and Mike patted her on her back and followed his friends out the door. She was thankful that he had them.
She was alone ‒ at the table now and, by tomorrow afternoon, in life.
Her thoughts turned once again to Edward, and for a moment, she thought she was hallucinating. He was approaching her slowly, winding through the people as he crossed the middle of the dance floor. His eyes never came away from hers.
"I thought you were hunting."
He shook his head. "I couldn't wait to talk to you."
"This isn't the place."
"Not for that." He held his hand out. "But dancing would be appropriate."
She didn't hesitate, even though she thought she should have.
He pulled Bella into his arms. His embrace was too intimate, too close to be appropriate for former lovers dancing at an old friend's wedding. Bella stepped back much to Edward's disappointment.
"There are many eyes on us tonight. What are they thinking?"
"Most are wondering if Mike has noticed us dancing yet, which he hasn't, by the way. There are some who are not thinking of us at all, which is nice." Edward moved closer to Bella as he spoke, if only by the slightest fraction of an inch.
"I've seen this band live. A number of times, actually."
Bella was surprised at the 180 the conversation took.
"When?"
"It's been a while. But I've always loved this song. When I first met you, I listened to it over and over. It resonated with me. The conflicting emotions... I felt like you were torturing me then. You're torturing me now." As Edward spoke, he moved even closer. His lips were brushing against Bella's ear as he whispered into them.
"Edward..." She sighed his name. She didn't know what to say.
He pulled Bella to him, just another half an inch, but said nothing more. When the song ended, he backed away and, with a bow and a wink, disappeared into the crowd of dancers.
Bella thought at that moment how little some things changed; Edward Cullen was still capable of giving her whiplash. She walked toward the bar for her third glass of wine.
As Bella sat at the table sipping her drink, she thought of the lyrics to the song and became increasingly irritated. She knew it well. Once she was able to listen to music again, she too used to play it over and over. Bella wondered what Edward was doing here. She felt her temper rising, even though she wasn't sure exactly what or who she was mad at. Was she upset that he'd kissed another woman? Yes, but she had no right to be. As she fumed, she finally found Edward across the room as he spoke to Jessica and her new husband, his coat over his arm, obviously saying goodbye. She shouldn't have been surprised that he'd managed to be charming and obvious while crashing a wedding. She didn't notice her fingers angrily tapping on the table, a metronome to her annoyance. Bella kept her eyes on him as he walked to the exit, which is why she saw him turn her way, give the slightest nod toward the door before he turned, and walk out.
Bolstered by the wine, she threw a glance to where Mike and the boys had gathered in the corner upon returning from their smoke break. Jackets were off, ties were askew, and cards had been pulled out. Curiosity got the better of her. She knew she wouldn't be missed.
But it wasn't just curiosity. She wanted to tell him. He'd been honest with her that morning, and it was time to tell him she was leaving Mike. Her meeting with Eleazar had set off a chain reaction. Suddenly, keeping this news to herself weighed too heavily.
Edward was waiting for her on the other side of the door.
"I gave you everything you ever wanted. It wasn't what you wanted." She hissed the lyrics at him. His eyes grew wild; this was not what he was expecting. She too, was surprised at her anger. In a second, he had thrown his coat over her shoulders and whisked them around the corner, where he hoped they would not be spotted.
He tried to hold her, to calm her, but she pushed him away. His coat fell to the grass at their feet. He could smell the tears as they gathered, but they didn't fall.
"I disappeared in you. But you were only hanging on to watch me go down." The misquote was deliberate. "Oh, sweetheart, you're so cruel." Bella's voice broke as she whispered the last line. It would have barely been perceptible to human ears.
"Bella–"
"Stop! I don't know what you're doing, but stop. Just stop. What do you want from me? Did you get what you wanted this time? Was this the plan? Spend time with me so I could watch you with someone else?"
Edward didn't know how to respond. He wanted to scream at her, but he fought to stay calm.
"Please dance with me again?"
Bella let out a frustrated sigh but nodded all the same. She couldn't say no. She'd come outside to talk to him. They'd promised each other they wouldn't descend into their old patterns. If she wanted a future with him, they had a lot to work out. They weren't going to move forward if they weren't willing to listen to each other.
This time when Edward pulled her into his arms, she didn't step back. As he breathed out a sigh of relief that she would allow this, he pulled her flush to his body. He tilted her chin up to look at him. "Do you really believe that? Do you honestly think, in your heart of hearts, that's what this is about? That I came here to hurt you again?"
Her lip trembled as she breathed out a quiet, stuttering, "No."
Edward pulled her tighter against him. He rested his forehead against hers. His hands dipped further down her lower back. It was an intimate position, one not appropriate for a married woman to be in, but Bella's only move was to close her eyes and sway.
Edward moved with her. Though they were underneath an open window and the music was as clear to them outside as it was inside, they moved to their own rhythm. Then the tempo slowed down to another song Edward recognized. Elvis had recorded it, but this was his favorite version. He leaned away from Bella, and she opened her eyes. She didn't move as Edward's hands left her back and gently clutched her shoulders. "Is this what I wanted? To watch you stay in an unhappy marriage, because my actions crushed your self-worth? You're terrified to leave this safe life you've created for yourself. I've lost your trust again, and all I wanted to do was make your life easier with Mike. Do you know what I want? You. I want you by my side for eternity."
Bella gasped, and Edward moved his hand to her neck. His thumbs caressed her pulse points. "I want to change you. I want you to be my wife." He felt her pulse quicken, and her breath became rapid and shallow. After a moment, Edward whispered, "If we're going to speak to each other in lyrics, then listen." He pulled her to him once more, and he felt her eyelashes on his cheek as she closed her eyes.
Bella listened as Willy Nelson lamented on the mistakes one makes in love. As Bella tried to make sense of what Edward was trying to say, she began to pick up on something. Very quietly, Edward was singing to her.
As she opened her eyes, he felt her eyelashes flicker once again, and then she was leaning away from him.
When she opened her mouth to speak, he shook his head and placed two fingers over her lips.
"I've lived a life longer than most, and in it, I've made some awful decisions. For the past decade, I've thought the choice to leave you was the worst thing I've ever chosen to do. But I'm not even sure about that anymore. I don't know if coming back here was the best or worst thing I've ever done. The way I felt about you at 17 pales in comparison to how I feel now. When I left you the first time, it destroyed me. And while I don't have you now, I don't know what losing you again will do to me. But knowing this, knowing how much this is going to hurt, I don't know if I would give up the chance to know who you are now, to love you the way I love you now. I don't know if this is the best or the worst thing I've ever done."
He'd offered her everything. He'd fought through all of her defenses, and his words lit a fuse in Bella. It was time she was honest with him.
"I left Mike. I'm moving out tomorrow. That's what I wanted to tell you," Bella whispered, though he didn't move his fingers from her lips.
Edward briefly closed his eyes. He then sang along at a whisper. "Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died…" He kept his eyes on Bella's as he slowly bent his head, replacing his fingers with his lips. Bella didn't move, but that meant she didn't pull away, either. Encouraged, he continued to softly brush his lips against hers. He listened as her heart sped up, but it wasn't until he felt her lean into him that he tried something he never had before.
As Bella felt his tongue flick against her lips, she responded immediately. Her hands were in his hair, and her lips were parted. His tongue darted quickly into her mouth, and she moaned at the loss of it. The second time, she stroked it with her own and was rewarded with a deep rumble from Edward's chest. She pinned him to the wall and rolled her hips into him, her tongue continuing to flit around his.
The kiss was over as quickly as it began. Now Bella was against the wall, and Edward was a respectable distance away. She looked at him, her eyes wide with confusion, but he only had time to hiss, "Mike," before Bella's very suspicious husband came around the corner.
Mike needed no supernatural skills to figure out there had been something going on between his wife and Edward Cullen. While the dark hid her flush, he did note that her fingers had flown to her lips and a coat lay trampled on the ground between them. He quickly drew the correct conclusion that Edward's lips had been on Bella's. But there was no room in what he thought he knew about Bella for him to think that she would have wanted them there. He'd watched her last night. Bella wore her emotions on her sleeve. She couldn't have faked her way through that. If Bella had been having an affair with Edward, she wouldn't have been so at ease as she watched him with another woman. He wondered if that enraged Edward. He always was a possessive bastard.
I am going to kill that son of a bitch.
It wasn't original, but it was likely the textbook response to the idea that one's soon-to-be-ex-wife had possibly been assaulted by her richer, more successful ex-boyfriend.
Edward had no time for this foolishness. A part of him had just been inside Bella, and it was the most intimate moment of his life. Mike Newton was not going to take that away from him.
Bella watched as Mike advanced and Edward shifted his posture; a subtle change to predator. Bella fought her rising panic and began to internally chant.
Please don't hurt him. Please don't hurt him.
Edward turned to her and grabbed her arms, stunned. "What did you just do, Bella? I can't hear him, but I can hear you. What did you just do?" he hissed at her.
"You're going to get your goddammed hands off my wife right now before I rip them out of their sockets and stuff them down your motherfucking throat."
It was now Bella's turned to be stunned. She'd never heard Mike speak like that to anyone. Ever. She watched Edward's eyes turn pitch black as his expression became hard and cold. He slowly turned to Mike, a wicked grin crossing his face. "Oh, Michael Newton, are you inviting me to fight you?" Instead of letting go of Bella, he moved his hands down her arms as though he were caressing a lover. "Are you willing to fight me for her?"
Bella lost her fight to the panic, which was now becoming sheer terror.
Edward, please stop. Please don't do this to him.
Edward's head whipped back around to Bella. "I can hear you."
"I said get your hands off her, you-"
"Okay. Slow your roll, cowboy. Let's everyone just take a deep breath," Jasper interjected, patting Mike on the chest. Jasper's proximity caused Mike to step back. To Bella and Mike, he'd come from nowhere, Edward had registered him crashing through the woods but had ignored it. Bella grabbed Mike's arm and started to pull him away from Edward. The pair remained locked in a staring battle.
"Mike, come on. Let's go." Bella wasn't surprised to feel so instantly relaxed. Mike calmed down at the same time. She didn't want to be the one to take Mike home, but she knew that Edward would be in need of his brother. As she walked away, she turned to Jasper and called out her thanks.
He tipped his head in her direction. "No problem, darlin'. Alice sends her regards." He winked as he turned his attention back to Edward.
But Edward's eyes were on Bella.
It wasn't Jasper that had calmed him down; it was the single word she mouthed before turning away.
Tomorrow.