Characters: Kira Yamato, Caridad Yamato
Pairings: None
Time frame: Gs post ep 50
Mother
Kira is afraid.
He can admit that freely.
It is a different fear from the one he has experienced lately. It is not the fear of having to change into a flight suit to take his place in a cockpit, not the fear of having to pull a trigger, not the fear of seeing one blast too late, not the fear of doing something wrong. It isn't the terror of being too weak, not the terror that freezes him whenever he thinks about the death of people he can't see die, not the terror of being unable to protect.
No, that kind of fear is over.
He is angry.
He cannot admit that freely.
It is an emotion that Kira has tried not to feel for some time now. Anger leads to death and destruction. He knows that better than he ever wished to and as a consequence he doesn't like to feel anger. And he mostly doesn't. He isn't a temperamental person, never gets angry easily, so it isn't much of a problem to always feel only sadness and resignation instead.
Anger reminds him of the Aegis and the Strike, both of which don't exist anymore.
But he is still a bit angry.
Mostly, though, he is scared.
Kira has avoided seeking out this place, his parents, despite the war being over. If he still were the person he used to be, then he'd think they would have worried about him, think that they would have been terrified by him fighting in a war.
Would have thought he brought them pain when it took him this much time to come.
But Kira isn't that person anymore. He doesn't know if they were afraid or if they had know all along that he would make it out.
He is scared, because when he sees them again, he will know that they aren't his parents. He is scared that he will see different people, strangers and that he has only been too blind to notice before. He is scared because he is so incredibly grateful that he has never known.
But he is also angry because he hasn't known. He is sure they parents must have known, because looking back on his life, he can see how they have tried to keep him hidden and stay save, away from anywhere where he could possibly find out or be noticed.
He is angry at his own existence.
Kira rings the doorbell.
His coming today has been taken out of his hands with Cagalli making the call, Lacus seeing him off and Athrun driving him. With the knowledge that he is expected. That he has to put this behind him sometime.
It hardly takes a few seconds before the door flies open and his mother stands in front of him. For the first time in months of war and insecurity.